I'm not sure truly where this post should go. It was the anniversary of my daughters passing last week. She has been gone 5 long years which is now longer than she graced me with her presence. It is her birthday next week and as others in this forum would understand I get up and go on each day but underneath I am dead and purely executing the emotions expected if me. I have cried and cried until I think there are no more tears until the next bout come. I madly love my two DS's yet one has such significant behavioural problems I feel completely alone and unsupported. I am a sole parent and the kids have no acces to their father. My family are great but don't understand my ds or all that I try to do to help him. The school do their best yet have an archaic mindset. I needed to vent and didn't know where else to go. It's one of those times I feel so helpless and just want someone to help carry this burden. How do you help those you love to breaking point and love those you have lost so tragically. I know I will get up tomorrow and put on the mask yet how do I go on now when I can't stop the flood of feelings.
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Hi Mojito.
I'm sorry you're not feeling great. I wish I had a magic wand to wave for you. What a shame DS2's behaviour has dipped again. It makes everything very difficult, especially for him. It's especially a shame as he had been doing so well with just occasional lapses. It's still a lot better than before. Maybe he just needs to settle down again. I hope so.
Is it too early for 
?
for you. Hope things improve. Sending you a big hug as well. XXX
Hi Mojito. Just checking in.
Just keep on doing what you're doing. He will need the stability of that at the moment. I'm sure he's pretty angry with the world and is lashing out at school sometimes. Knowing the whys and wherefores doesn't make it any easier to deal with the outcomes though.
The weight of the mask is such a burden but sometimes it's easier to wear that mask rather than to take it off and expose your grief for anybody else to see.
I know what you mean about crawling into bed, but it's just not an option is it.
I wish I could offer some words of advice with your DS2. I have nothing to offer except to hang in. Do you have a psychiatrist you could speak to about him? It's doubly tough when all you want to do is take small steps one after the other and think about your DD..... but your attention is diverted to him. 
Shame we can't sit down with a 
and natter and put the world to rights. Lots of love XXX
Hi Mojito.
Just checking in to see how you're doing. How's DS2 been the last couple of weeks?
It's a lovely sunny morning here in France and I've just made a second cup of coffee and put a croissant in the oven. I thought of you. for you too!
Sending you love
Hi Mojito.
Woohooo!!!! 
That's brilliant. A couple of good weeks from DS2 is just what you both needed I suspect. I hope you feel hopeful again and a bit less overwhelmed. I'm so glad. It's good you've been able to sort out the work pressure as well.
Pain-au-chocolat.... my DS3 loves these. Paddy preferred croissants.
I'm more or less ok. The anniversary has been and gone, and also the anniversary of his funeral. Another hard day. I am now thinking about managing another Christmas without him.
I really hope that the good run continues. Fingers crossed for you.
for DS2!
Nooooo! I'm so sorry (on both counts). Let's focus on the fact that DS2 did hang in there for quite a while this time. The meltdowns are going to happen but also there are good periods between times.
I'm really sorry about your interview. Have you definitely heard that you didn't get the position or are you just being your own harshest critic? Something else will come along and you will be able to keep the flexibility that you need.
Take a deep breath and have a (or is it time?
Sending you a big hug.XXX
Dear Mojito - I am sending you big thoughts and love. I lived abroad for many years and had two bereavements there - mum and brother - and the support was not there. Since coming back to the UK I do feel more supported and less alone. I don't know your circumstances but as you have seen from just a morning on here there is so much love and concern out there for you. Your loneliness and sorrow is a terrible burden and as a single mum I absolutely understand the feeling of helplessness when your child becomes difficult. Please keep on here and be supported by us.
Well done DS2. Let's hope that hockey tomorrow will help him get rid of some energy and frustration and anger.... whacking that ball is always good! My sons all played hockey and they were always shattered when they came off the pitch.
Hurrah and huge congratulations for the job progress. I'm sure you'll be able to work out what's best on balance, not just for you, but for your DSs as well.
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