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Original poster

2nd stillbirth in 6 months. In shock.

247 replies

desperatehousewife · 22/05/2006 14:25

Had stillbirth at end of november - at 25 weeks. Got pregnant again 2 months later and went for 16 week scan this morning to be told this baby has died too. Am in shock but devestated - seems so unfair to happen twice in a row.

That's it really - just wanted to tell someone. I have to give birth on Wednesday.

I have felt like such a lucky person all my life and at the moment am feeling bloody unlucky and don't quite know what to make of it.

whereas in november I always knew i'd have another baby, this time I just don't know if I could go through pregnancy again. Am feeling pretty grim about the whole thing to be honest.

OP posts:
hester · 25/05/2006 20:15

I have no words to tell you how your post made me feel, dhw. I am so very sorry I cannot do anything to help. I will be thinking of you xxx

sottovoce · 25/05/2006 20:51

DHW, what a terrible time you have had. I am so sorry it was especially traumatic. Sending you love and thinking of you. XXXXX

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 25/05/2006 20:53

oh blimey, sorry, didn't mean to produce any watery eyes! As weird as it may seem though, I have to say, writing it all down on here to you all (who I don't know) feels really really cathartic - it has made me feel so much better just getting it off my chest.

So thanks for allowing me to do that.
x

OP posts:
LadyTophamHatt · 25/05/2006 20:59

Oh DHW, I feel so unbelieveably sad for you, and your Dh and your little DS.

I really cannot imagine how you are felling now and my heart breaks to think that you've gone through this twice, it is so unfair so with every bone in my body I wish you a quick recover and a happy time ahead for you and your family.

Lots of love
xxx

ComeOVeneer · 25/05/2006 21:00

Don't be silly DHW you have no reason to apologise.

retailtherapist · 25/05/2006 21:02

DHW
So sorry that you had such an awful experience yesterday. I know that there's nothing I can say to help, but I hope that the pain will ease in time and you can start to move on soon. Bless your little boy... how lovely he sounds.
x

LadyTophamHatt · 25/05/2006 21:03

Ohh...DHW! you really really do not need to be worrying about making us cry, and don't think for one second that you have to thank us for letting you post this!

It's wonderful that posting this has made even a difference for you, so you just post what ever you need...

xxxx

LadyTophamHatt · 25/05/2006 21:04

sorry...typos!!

made even the tiniest difference for you.

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 25/05/2006 21:06

Thank goodness for my little boy - how lucky I am to already have him. He is so vibrant and so beautiful and has such a loving nature (despite being a whining and irritating little sod lots of the time!) I looked at him sleeping tonight and couldn't believe my luck.

OP posts:
foundintranslation · 25/05/2006 21:13

:( Thinking of you dhw, and well done for being so very brave.

I'm not sure whether stories of others' experiences can help you now or give you any hope, but just in case they can: a dear friend of mine lost two babies around the 20 week mark and went on to have a baby boy.

When/if you feel able to read it, I have a copy of Lesley Regan's book I can send you - I've just had to lend it to a friend who has a blighted ovum :( but I can send it to you when she gives it back.

Saying a prayer for all of you.

fob · 25/05/2006 21:15

Thoughts and love to you DHW. You sound so incredibly brave and resilient.
And absolutely no need to apologise for long posts!!!
Much much love xxx

LittleMerlin · 25/05/2006 21:16

dhw - don't know what to say really, just wanted to add my thoughts and prayers. Your little boy sounds gorgeous and is very lucky to have such a strong and lovely mum. Look after yourself.

Twinkie1 · 25/05/2006 21:18

Thinking of you DHW - went through a 24 week stillbirth with my sister a few years ago and it was heart rending for me so god knows what it would be like to actually experience it first hand.

You are very brave - but I think people just cope in these situations. Have you got a memory box to put all your pictures and hospital bands in - Marina advised me to get one for my sister and I know it really helped her.

Northerner · 25/05/2006 21:25

Oh dhw, I am normally not often moved to tears by MN posts, but,I feel for you so so much and just can't help myself.

No amount of advice is going to make you feel better atm, but I would say don't try to even think about what teh future holds for you. Just think about you, and resting, and getting strong again.

I too have a 4 year old ds and you are right, they are the best medcine, and I bet he loves his Mummy very, very much.

Take care.

Cam · 25/05/2006 21:59

I can attest that DHW's son really is beautiful (just like his mummy!)

DHW - have emailed you.

Love Cam xxx

Arabica · 25/05/2006 23:48

So sorry to hear what an ordeal it was, DHW. The placenta bit sounded really scary. Am glad that it's been cathartic to get it all out in writing and post here. Wishing you all the best for the days to come.

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 26/05/2006 07:43

foundintranslation - unfortuntaly i already have that book and have read it - from my last stillbirth! Thanks so much for thinking of that though. Appreciate it.

Cam thanks so much for your lovely message.

OP posts:
mummyhill · 26/05/2006 08:12

DHW - Don't appologise for your posts it helps to talk and that's something we don't often get to do in real life.

Sorry to hear that there were added complications this time. Rest as much as you can.

Sending love and Prayers.

spub · 26/05/2006 08:12

DHW - You poor wee soul. Bad enough without the placenta adding to the whole experience.
You're an amazing woman. I know that you have no choice, essentially but to get on with things, particularly as you have that gorgeous 4yo boy but I'm humbled by your reslience and dignity through this and only glad that writing it down seems to be helping.
Please be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to do to try to make sense of events.
Thinking of you and yours.

HellKat · 26/05/2006 08:18

Wow hun, truly amazed by your dignity & strength.
I'm so sorry it could'nt have gone better for you. As awful as it was you surely did'nt need added complications.
Wishing you & your family loads of love, kindest thoughts & warmest wishes for the future.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

mygirllolipop · 26/05/2006 08:57

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

pepperpots · 26/05/2006 09:35

I couldn't read this without posting Sad DHW am so very sorry you have to go through this again. My thoughts and love are with you and your family, your strength and courage astounds me xx

poppiesinaline · 26/05/2006 09:46

:( DH I cant think of any words to say at all. I am just so sorry you are having to go through this. Am thinking of you lots. >

Marina · 26/05/2006 10:40

Sad DHW, I'm so sorry you had the wretched experience with the placenta on top of everything else to contend with. XXX sending you love as ever.

dinosaure · 26/05/2006 10:43

desperatehousewife, what a grim experience - I'm so so sorry - how unlucky.

I wish you all the best for your recovery and for joy in your little boy. You sound very brave, I'm full of admiration for you. Take care of yourself xx