2nd stillbirth in 6 months. In shock.

[desperatehousewife]

Had stillbirth at end of november - at 25 weeks. Got pregnant again 2 months later and went for 16 week scan this morning to be told this baby has died too. Am in shock but devestated - seems so unfair to happen twice in a row.

That's it really - just wanted to tell someone. I have to give birth on Wednesday.

I have felt like such a lucky person all my life and at the moment am feeling bloody unlucky and don't quite know what to make of it.

whereas in november I always knew i'd have another baby, this time I just don't know if I could go through pregnancy again. Am feeling pretty grim about the whole thing to be honest.

dhw be kind to youselves in this difficult time.
take care and take comfort from your lovely little boy.
xx

Dh - what an amazing woman you are! Though you probably don't feel strong at the moment, the warmth and strength of your family shines through.

Hope it carries you all safely through this.

The hospital must have been absolutely gruelling

What a wonderful little boy you have.

I feel the same about my 3 yr old dd - especially when she tells me not to cry and hugs me.

I am sorry DHW. You have been so brace and life is so unjust. Hope that you recover (physically at least) quickly.

I ment brave.

DHW - so sorry that it had to be so completely horrible for you.
Sending lots of love to you, your dh and ds.
xxxxxxxx

Oh, DHW on top of having to deliver your poor baby, the placenta thing sounds so awful. What a really traumatic time for you.

sending my love DHW thought about you all day on wednesday:( so sorry it was so traumatic heart breaks for you xxxxxxx

dhw - so sorry that you had to go through this a second time. Wish you all the strength and luck in the world.

DHW - so sorry for what you went through in such a short space of time. Did you want to find out the sex of the baby?

I hope there'll be some happy times ahead for your family soon.

sorry to hear how horrendous it was..thinking of you. xx

Oh, DHW, so sorry to hear that you had such a horrible time. You sound an amazingly strong woman.
Thinking of you & your family.xxxxx

DHW - oh god, I'm so desparately sorry :( In tears here too, I can't believe that someone so nice can have such bad luck happen to them.

Sending gallons of love to you all.

(and your ds is TRULY gorgeous and a credit to you)

so so so sorry for you.

you sound amazingly strong.

thinking of you.

DHW - I feel violated and invaded for you, just reading your post. Terrible experience and terrible bad luck. I am so sorry.

Your little boy really DOES sound very special and sweet, and I hope you will have some time to rest and look after yourself and each other. My thoughts are with you.

DHW, I nearly didn't post this because I just though 'What can I say that will make any difference?' Words seem so inadequate.

But I just want to echo what everyone else has said. How awful and traumatic to even know you have lost a much-loved and wanted baby, let alone to have to go through a difficult labour too. It is great that you find posting on MN cathartic - and just shows how incredibly brave you are not to be curled up in a ball in a corner. I know life must feel very bleak just now but you really are stronger and more resilient than you think. I am absolutely sure the love and support offered here from people who don't even know you must be trebled in RL by the love,hope and protection of your family and friends.
Your little boy sounds a smasher - he's a very lucky chap to have such a fabulous mummy.

Whatever your religion/spirituality, hope this Buddhist saying helps - 'The clouds are not the sky'. It helps me when times are bad. When it feels like the sun won't ever shine ever again, eventually the clouds do lift, they were just hiding what was there already.

Sorry for long post and if it sounds patronising - absolutely not intended to. Just want to be able to help in what is a pretty helpless situation. Sounds like you are dealing with it in absolutely the best way you can.

Take care.

sbm - lovely words - thank you so much for your message. Life feels a little better today - although still want to buy a one way ticket to somewhere far away and run away from everything and everyone! Did some normal stuff today - went to DS's assembley and did tesco shopping which felt good.

DHW I have missed all this with being caught up in my own stuff. I am so desperatly sorry hun. I know nothing will help pain you are going through but it just seems so unfair for this to happening to you again. I really hope that you are refered onto someone in order to get the appropriate help and answers with what is happening with your babies.
God bless you all hun and thinking of you

so to hear this DHW. you sound incredibly brave and strong (and your ds sounds adorable!).
good luck to you and your family and cont forget to treat yourself kindly.

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. For this to happen twice must be incredibly hard to bear.

My thoughts are with you and your family
love
dejags
x

DHW: Have only summoned the courage to read your post today.

I am so, so sad that your experience was awful. It is more than anyone should have to endure.

Your post could have been mine with the exception of the epidural. The heartbreaking experience of delivering a baby that you will never properly cuddle and know should not be worsened by the indignity of having the placenta manually removed. The midwives assured me that it was not uncommon and that I should try not to be so upset but it just seemed more than I could bear.

I am so impressed by your continued stenght and your ability to put it all in words for us to read. Your son is blessed to have such an amazing mum. I hope that time will heal your wounds and your heart so that you can move on and make decisions later.

Please take care of yourself and if you need someone with similar experiences to speak to feel free to CAT me.

Have been thinking of you and wondering how you were. It sounds like a dreadful ordeal. Hope you are feeling a little stronger day by day.

Life is so unfair at times.

DHW

So so sorry. Have just read this thread. I cannot believe that something so terrible has happened to you twice. Its so bloody unfair.

I had a stillborn girl Philippa at 6 months last year. I remember the twenty bottles of blood too.It was tests,tests,tests and all revealed nothing.

I also have another child and thank god you have too. They are such a blessing and I dont know how I would have come home with my memory box without my other child to fill my otherwise empty arms.

My love,thoughts and prayers are with you and your family now.x