Thanks for your concern. It was a bit of a nightmare.
I was induced yesterday morning and had a 3 way drip put in, loads of blood taken (20 bottles apparently for testing?!!) then contractions started very quickly and got fast and furious.
Had epidural - had no idea what to expect as never had one before - bloody painful that needle going into the nerve...yuk. Then was prodded, poked, humped around for the rest of the day.
The birth happened very quickly and without pain, but the placenta got retained and midwife coulnd't get it out. I was losing a lot of blood very quickly apparently and then it all got a bit panicky which was scary. Was rushed to theatre, told about all the complications and risks which could occur with what was about to happen, and made to sign 3 forms saying I understood all the risks etc, and had a vile manual removal of the placenta which hurt like buggery (bloody epidural didn't work) Having been brave until now, I absolutely sobbed my heart out in theatre because i felt so invaded and scared and so bloody sad.
The rest of the day was being on a drip laid up. Got home at 10 last night pretty wiped out, having lost 1 litre of blood.
Have never felt so violated in all my life - how could a 16 week old fetus be so much harder to deal with than a 6 month old fetus?
It was such a sense of deja-vu - I couldn't believe I was there again delivering my dead baby - i am utterly crushed this time round. This baby was going to make right all that went wrong 6 months ago.
Told my 4 year old today what had happened (not the detail obviously!!) and he crumpled onto the floor and cried. It was absolutely heartbreaking. Of course within 5 minutes he was up and talking about spiderman again, thank god!!
Anyway, i imagine it will really take time to get over this one, but I know we will - we are a strong unit and we are determined too. Have no idea what the future holds for me any more, but I guess that's life isn't it?
Sorry for long post.