Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

2nd stillbirth in 6 months. In shock.

247 replies

desperatehousewife · 22/05/2006 14:25

Had stillbirth at end of november - at 25 weeks. Got pregnant again 2 months later and went for 16 week scan this morning to be told this baby has died too. Am in shock but devestated - seems so unfair to happen twice in a row.

That's it really - just wanted to tell someone. I have to give birth on Wednesday.

I have felt like such a lucky person all my life and at the moment am feeling bloody unlucky and don't quite know what to make of it.

whereas in november I always knew i'd have another baby, this time I just don't know if I could go through pregnancy again. Am feeling pretty grim about the whole thing to be honest.

OP posts:
niceglasses · 24/05/2006 13:53

Have thought about you lots today, lots of virtual hugs.

manamana · 24/05/2006 13:56

thinking of you today, don't have any words to add to what has already has been said just wanted to send an extra virtual hug - we met on a brighton meet-up when i was 'elasticated', only recently back online and devastated to hear your news.

Esmummy · 24/05/2006 14:07

Thinking of you again today DHW as I have been each day since you first posted.
Hope today goes as well as it possibly can x

cece · 24/05/2006 14:15

Thinking of you today DHW

mummyhill · 24/05/2006 14:25

Thinking of you and including you in my prayers.

poppiesinaline · 24/05/2006 14:30

Just seen this thread. So sorry DH. Am thinking of you today.

LadyTophamHatt · 24/05/2006 14:32

Oh DHW, I'm so sad for you today, and that this has happened again.

It is so unfair.

You're in my thoughts today and will be over the coming weeks and months.

xxx

Spongebob · 24/05/2006 14:38

DHW. Such a sad thing to happen, and twice! I lost my first baby quite late on....Its heartbreaking. Thinking of you/ xxxx

sunnydelight · 24/05/2006 17:16

I just found out via the meetups thread and just wanted to say how sorry I am. Sending you virtual hugs on this horrible day x

dublindee · 24/05/2006 17:21

so sorry for your loss

{hug}

oinker · 24/05/2006 19:51

))))))))))))))))))HUGS((((((((((((((((((

MABS · 25/05/2006 16:54

I hope she doesn't mind me posting here,but just to let you all know that DHW got through yesterday but had a horrific time. I know everyone on here will be thinking of her and her poor dh. x

Marina · 25/05/2006 16:55

I was going to mail her Mabs. Thanks for the update and send her lots of love XXX

FioFio · 25/05/2006 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

bundle · 25/05/2006 16:55

Sad poor love

Blu · 25/05/2006 16:57

poor woman, The worst thing to have to do without added complications. Sad

desperatehousewife · 25/05/2006 19:37

Thanks for your concern. It was a bit of a nightmare.

I was induced yesterday morning and had a 3 way drip put in, loads of blood taken (20 bottles apparently for testing?!!) then contractions started very quickly and got fast and furious.

Had epidural - had no idea what to expect as never had one before - bloody painful that needle going into the nerve...yuk. Then was prodded, poked, humped around for the rest of the day.

The birth happened very quickly and without pain, but the placenta got retained and midwife coulnd't get it out. I was losing a lot of blood very quickly apparently and then it all got a bit panicky which was scary. Was rushed to theatre, told about all the complications and risks which could occur with what was about to happen, and made to sign 3 forms saying I understood all the risks etc, and had a vile manual removal of the placenta which hurt like buggery (bloody epidural didn't work) Having been brave until now, I absolutely sobbed my heart out in theatre because i felt so invaded and scared and so bloody sad.

The rest of the day was being on a drip laid up. Got home at 10 last night pretty wiped out, having lost 1 litre of blood.

Have never felt so violated in all my life - how could a 16 week old fetus be so much harder to deal with than a 6 month old fetus?

It was such a sense of deja-vu - I couldn't believe I was there again delivering my dead baby - i am utterly crushed this time round. This baby was going to make right all that went wrong 6 months ago.

Told my 4 year old today what had happened (not the detail obviously!!) and he crumpled onto the floor and cried. It was absolutely heartbreaking. Of course within 5 minutes he was up and talking about spiderman again, thank god!!

Anyway, i imagine it will really take time to get over this one, but I know we will - we are a strong unit and we are determined too. Have no idea what the future holds for me any more, but I guess that's life isn't it?

Sorry for long post.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 25/05/2006 19:39

oh dhw Sad

I am so very sorry for your loss and I wish you strength and peace

LucyJones · 25/05/2006 19:40

Sad So sorry to hear you've had to go through this again xxx

LIZS · 25/05/2006 19:41

dhw,I have tears in my eyes, you sound so incredibly brave and bless your little boy. My thoughts are with you.

hewlettsdaughter · 25/05/2006 19:55

Sorry to hear what you have had to go through. Wishing you all the best for the future.

cece · 25/05/2006 20:06

How awful for you - no words really - just wanted to offer my support

weewilliewinkie · 25/05/2006 20:11

I have no words either, just someone else who wants you to know you are in my thoughts. So sad for you.

Take care of yourself. You sound like an incredible woman. x

spidermama · 25/05/2006 20:12

DHW this is so unfair. I'm so sorry and I'm really sad that you had such a horrible time with the placenta on top of it all.

I don't really know what else to say but I'm so moved by your story.

Take care. xx

ComeOVeneer · 25/05/2006 20:14

AM so sorry to hear your sad sad news DHW. I had tears in my eyes at your last post, and they really started flowing when I read about your little boy. I know there are no words to make this better, but I hope the fact that we all our sending love and prayers may ease your pain a touch.