''Even the smallest of footprints have the power to leave an everlasting imprint on the Earth'' Remembering with love our darling children

[Whatevertheweather]

Remembering not only what we have lost but what our darling children have given to us.

A new 'safe haven' thread. Thank you Chip for our last one which filled up in just a month. A sure sign of lots of tears, smiles and wonderful support.

All our children have taught us something whether they were born sleeping, lived just a little while, weeks, months or years. Here are mine:

Never ever take anything for granted, life can change very quickly.
Listen to yourself; your instincts will nearly always be right.
That it is possible to function seemingly normally with a broken heart.
That I have a wonderful relationship that can withstand the hardest of times.
That love and support can come from the most unexpected sources.
That I have a lot of very lovely friends, new and old.
That my family is amazing.
That no matter what it is impossible not to smile and laugh with my beautiful Katie around.
That a rainbow can provide hope in the darkest of times.
That there will be good days and bad days
That I love my children more than I ever thought possible.

For all our darling children xxx

dear MrsDevere may the clouds and rains of today wash away your pain, leaving you with the rainbow of love and joy created by your beautiful Billie. x

fan Remembering Ophelia Bessie Anne, the golden-haired girl, beloved.

blue thank you for doing that.

chip what happened with DS1? I remember you said that he wasn't going to be able to do the 'gap year' he wanted, and you were disappointed for him, is it that?

MrsDevere thinking of your beautiful smiling Billie today! big hugs

Fan also for you and your precious Ophelia! x

Mrsdevere thinking of you today and your family. xxx

Had to avoid for a couple days as I was getting too involved in that other thread but I've taken a deep breath and staying well away.

everlong it was hard to stay away hence why I didn't come on for a couple of days. I just can't bear to see it

Tami it's so hard isn't it. Yes "most" babies will be fine but that doesn't mean all will and why take the risk when you don't need to. It's upsetting and infuriating all at once. 6 months (hugs), it's a difficult time, I remember the 6 months. The signigficant dates bring things back a lot I find.

Whatever that's fantastic news! Sticking with the tradition of having the same sex as the one we lost :) So pleased that all was well with her. I announced on fb at about 18 weeks I think it was, it felt right at that point. x

Miasmummy (hugs) it's so hard :(

Appleseed welcome to the thread, so sorry to hear about your lovely Elsie. SUch early days for you. These wonderful women here have been such a massive support to me since my daughter Scarlett was stillborn at 37 weeks in December 2010. I hope you find some comfort here too xx

fanjo Blizy left? I'll go and read the other thread and catch up after this. Sorry you're feeling so down, I feel sure that you will have your rainbow baby xx

Thinking of you and Billie today MrsDV

Am on my way back from a work conference. I saw lots of colleagues from other areas that I haven't seen since I was pregnant with Erin. A selection of the comments said to me today:

'You're looking really well. Totally back to normal'
'Glad to hear you got straight back on the horse. Best way to get over things'
'Glad to see you're all better now'
'I was sorry to hear about that horrid business last year'
'Good to see you're getting on with things and putting last year behind you'

I don't know whether to be or

whatever I would definitely be at such stupid comments!!

wtw what horrid comments! Can only come from DHAC's! big hugs x

Whatever for you at those people. Really and truly DHACs

Mias, school don't want ds1 to do the Irish equivalent of A levels. They want him to do a version of it that will really limit him. He does have SEN's but we feel he is capable of good results and should be given a chance. At the end of the day, it's our choice but I feel well and truly bullied.

thank you ladies

wtw what horrible comments. I hope you are ok.

Just about to light our lanterns for our three babies. Ophelia, Beanbag and Bungle.

fan was just about to type, put a pic on FB, when I saw the picture so lovely! hugs to you my lovely x

Gorgeous lanterns for your lovely babies Fan xxx

I don't think anyone meant to be horrible it just really highlighted to me how little people understand what has happened. I think it really scares them.

Whatever, they may not mean to be horrible but wouldn't it be nice if people would just think before they speak? After all, they've had months to think about it, it's not like she died yesterday. And referring to Erin as "that business", it beggars belief that anyone thinks that's an OK thing to say to a bereaved Mum. Like the person who called Sylvie-Rose a "mishap" as if I'd spilt my drink or something.

whatever you have a very generous spirit, that's all I can say.

Big day - we have relived the best and worst days of our life. This morning, distant relatives visited, and we found ourselves recounting all the medical facts. This afternoon, we had our first midwife visit, and of course, had to go through the facts of her birth. Poor DH. I think he found it all even harder than I did. Afternoon in front of the fire (April???), cuddled up watching tv.

Mias, a colleague of mine lost her first child shortly after he was born. ( God, when I I think of it, I hope I said all the right things, I really had no idea of how bad it was) On her second child, she changed hospitals as the first hospital kept losing her notes and she kept having to recount the story of how she lost E, over and over. She found it so upsetting and draining.

Very quiet on here - hope no-ones been swept away with the storms

How is everyone? Dp is introducing K to the delights of Star Wars this afternoon

Evening. Had a busy day, went out shopping and the traffic was awful! It took hours but needed to be done. I'm starving all the time lately, eating constantly! Dh says I'm like the very hungry caterpillar hehe, I think Ella is the same :o

Weather had been terrible, windy and raining but it seems to have settled a bit for now. Managed to get some ironing done too, surprised myself there.

How is everyone?

I did write a long reply - then Mumsnet went off when I posted!

Whatever How are you feeling? The weather here has been awful - but suddenly sunny now. Hope K enjoys Star Wars xx

It'll be exactly 6 months, in the early hours of tomorrow, that Tamsin was born. on 5th May it will be 6 months since I last saw & held her (date I'm probably dreading the most), then 15th May will be 6 months since her funeral. Bloody hell :(

Horrible weather here too, horizontal rain and freezing winds - and DH had to compete in a marathon, doing a 10K leg in a team with his workmates. Very proud of him. Very wet too!!

Forgot to say yesterday that the midwife was lovely. She was fully briefed about Mia, and yet she listened to us talk about the difficulties of her birth, how we are coping without her, as well as our new fears.

tami i hope tomorrow and the next few days pass easily for you. Are you going to do anything special, or just try and have some quiet time to think of Tamsin? I thought Chip's suggestion of writing to her sounded lovely. However, I hope you will be on here to share if you need to be.

whatever Star Wars is an essential part of childhood, hope Katie enjoys it. Han Solo is still completely gorgeous in my eyes. Wow, that dates me...

chip sorry to hear that you are feeling bullied by DS1's school about his choices. What does he want to do, or doesn't he really know? I didn't - it is so difficult to see how choices at that age can matter later on.

miasmummy I am trying to do a blog just for Tamsin, instead of writing on mine. Glad the midwife went well, can imagine just how taxing it was though. Well done to your DH :) Funny you mentioned Han Solo - when I first saw Star Wars, I fancied Luke (even though I was only 7). Then at 12 I had a huge crush on Han :) xx

Is it me, or is Mumsnet playing up?

No, it's just you, Tami. It's fine for everyone else!

Two years ago yesterday we said goodbye to our beloved Richard. He was a devoted Dad, a beloved son and a loving brother, also a good friend to many. He will never be forgotten and is missed beyond words. Sleep well my darling son xxx

chip Yep I'm here breaking it :)

lavandes (((hugs))) it's a really crappy time. Thinking of you & Richard, and his family xx

Thanks but I am still thinking we should not have to think about a funeral for our children. I just keep thinking of my dear grandson sitting next to me he was only nine, I was holding him, with huge tears rolling down his face and he made no sound, he is such a brave boy, so clever and funny, he is a credit to his dad, and such a comfort to us.

lavandes to you, remembering Richard, and all the love he brought into this world.