"Too Beautiful for Earth" For Sylvie-Rose and all our Angel Children

[chipmonkey]

For my darling Sylvie-Rose, taken from us just seven weeks after you were born. Too beautiful for this earth but I so wish you could have stayed nonetheless.
And for all the Mums walking this tough path. Let us link arms along the way and not be defeated by the cruel blow life has dealt us.

For me, I guess the crying is the birds of sorrow - but the challenge, as we all face on a daily basis, is stopping those pesky birds residing for the season! The mask, the pin-on smile, finding those all-important coping mechanisms, even the decision to keep on going, can be unbelievably hard though.

Another proverb, which seems totally right too for this moment on the thread - "The function of friends is to be the sounding board for grief."

Thank you ladies.

Hello, I've found my way back

Glad to see you back lumps, how are you? Xx

I'm ok, I think, does that make sense, not sure if anything does any more today has been strange but my lovely partner and dc have kept me going. It has been a very strange week

Morning x

Good morning everyone xx

lumps Of course it's been a strange week; everything you thought you knew, and planned for, has suddenly been ripped apart. You suddenly see the world as it is, instead of from the 'safe' place that you saw if before.

I'm glad that you feel you are doing OK, but do take your time lovely. Grief has to go through several stages, which are impossible to hurry. I'm so glad that you've got support, and your lovely DP & DC to care for you.

Good to see you back xx

miasmummy Happy Birthday! xx

afternoon girls,we survived yesterday,got some lovely cards,a fantastic i love grandma frame,and memory foam bath mat, realy lovely, my friend said do u lay on it lo, only if i want to be peed on.
saw my lovely dds yesterday and seeing my son today, finished early yesterday as just had to get out of there, so rang boss and gtook some annual leave thank godxxx

Happy birthday Miasmummy I'm sure it hasn't been as joyous as previous years but I do hope it has been a gentle day for you xx

happy birthday MiasMummy

Hello all, thank you for the birthday wishes. To be honest, today is a billions times easier than yesterday. It's sunny here, and DH has the day off and is taking me out to dinner tonight. Lots of calls, emails, text and messages from a huge array of people, all of whom recognise that today is not the birthday I want, but that they just want to send their love.

My BIL unexpectedly popped in, and he has given us lots of great ideas about Mia's Wood, and how to link it to educating children about the environment by planting trees - not just here, but anywhere. And just as Mia only lived for a short time, even if the trees don't last forever, they still make a difference to our world, just as Mia does. I really like that concept very much.

Happy birthday miasmum xx

miasmummy I hope you & DH have a lovely time tonight. What a lovely man your BIL sounds. I really like the idea that trees make a difference to the world, it's so true, they are vital xx

miasmummy I hope you & your DH have a lovely evening out tonight.
Your BIL sounds lovely. The trees will make a difference to the world, they are so important. x

Lumps how are you doing today? xx

I've just written a message to my dp, if I'm busy I don't think and then when I have nothing to do I think about Alice
My body feels horrible and saggy and it's a constant reminder that my baby should be there

Oh lovely xx Of course you should have a baby there. Keeping busy is important, but as much as it hurts, you will think of Alice too, it's part of the grieving process, you need to go through the pain. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. Don't worry about your body too much, indulge in some lovely food that you like, be naughty, treat yourself. Thinking of you xx

Everybody has gone now back to everyday life and I'm here by myself thinking about Alice

Happy birthday Mia's mummy xx

Oh lumps it's horrible when the world carries on. You want some recognition for what you've lost.

I remember clearly walking around TK Maxx, the week after Tamsin was born, looking for a memory box. It was crowded, and so many people were happy, and I wanted to scream at them. I found it difficult to move, as my womb had ruptured, and I'd had a caesarean, yet because I didn't have a baby no one made allowances, and I was pushed and shoved in the crowds, despite the agony - both physically & emotionally.

I can remember going shopping & not understanding why people were smiling - didn't they know my world had crashed down. And I saw pregnant women, 'safe' pregnant women - or at least those who thought they were. I lived in a different world, where even getting to the very end of pregnancy was no longer 'safe'.

It is hard. Have you any friends who can sit with you? Where do you live? I'm in Buckinghamshire xx

lumps when David died, I got depressed and wondered how the world kept spinning. why did it not come to a standstill? People think that you will get over your loss, but you are always grieving.
I went food shopping two weeks after david died and saw women with there children, in the end i just left without my shopping as it was to much to bare- why could they have there DC when i could not have mine?

I'm in Cheshire, there is nobody who can stay with me now as they all have jobs to return to, so it's me until the kids get back from college or school. I've not been out of the house for so long. I'm supposed to be going to a concert on Saturday, I suppose it will do me good.

accident I know the envy, though I think for me it was more feeling sorry for Tamsin being robbed of life, and so many opportunities, though of course I feel a bit sorry for myself, a lot of it is sorrow for her.

lumps If you think it will do you good then go, but don't feel obliged to go, as if you don't feel up to it, it can bring you down, as you then have the guilt of not enjoying yourself. Why not wait till closer to Saturday & see how you feel? It may be good, only you can decide, as we all deal with these things differently.

I wish I was closer, I'd come & sit with you, bringing cakes. I'm so sorry you feel alone, but remember we're here, and there is a forum on SANDS with other ladies like us, so don't feel alone. They also have a helpline number you can call, it's on their front page, so you can talk if it all gets to much for you.

I know you don't want to go out, but have you tried walking around the block? It may not help, but I found though I hated it at the time, the little bit of exercise was so good for me xx

lumps, don't do anything you don't feel ready for. Not that you ever feel genuinely ready but it's still such early, early days for you.