"Too Beautiful for Earth" For Sylvie-Rose and all our Angel Children

[chipmonkey]

For my darling Sylvie-Rose, taken from us just seven weeks after you were born. Too beautiful for this earth but I so wish you could have stayed nonetheless.
And for all the Mums walking this tough path. Let us link arms along the way and not be defeated by the cruel blow life has dealt us.

Emma like FM's poem earlier, that one too had me in tears... it's not fair though, I don't want to wait to see Tamsin :( thanks for posting, it was lovely xx

whatever I don't think they are doing any further investigations. I called my bereavement midwife, and she's calling me back tomorrow; I'll probably make an appointment to see/or call the consultant on Monday. Thanks about DD1. Sorry about your dream, they can be so cruel, though I had a funny one when pregnant with DD1, I dreamt that I gave birth to kittens! xx

shabba thank you, I just love that saying!! Shall do my best to put into practice tomorrow. We have bought beautiful wildflower seeds to scatter tomorrow, and a red oak to plant, and we will remember Mia this way.

whatever oh, I am so sorry. What a terrible nightmare. If it helps at all, maybe you could think that it is your brain's way of dealing with 'rubbish' and it is clearing out this horrible fear so that you may have happier dreams in the future?

emma that is a beautiful poem, it made me cry too. While I am not too sure what I really believe, I do believe that God cries alongside us about our babies, and about the unfairness of life, as there are some rules which cannot be transcended, even by a greater power.

Ok, pin-on smile. Check.
Special motivational saying. Check.
Brain bleach. Check.
Infinite love for Mia. That goes without saying...

everlong I really admire your bravery, and ability to say what you feel. I just read that (imo) disgraceful thread. I got into an argument on another site about the same issue, so am too wimpy to post again. But I agree with you. I spend every second of the day wondering what I did wrong, what I may have been able to change to have saved Tamsin, and am thankful that I don't have smoking to add to that list.

miasmummy I know tomorrow is going to be so hard, but you are still a mum, don't let the fact that Mia is not physically present (actually visible is perhaps better, as I'm sure she is present), so you have as much right to enjoy tomorrow, to be celebrate giving Mia the happiest 13 months that any mother has ever given her child. You are still a mummy, and you deserve to celebrate it. I hope the weather is good enough for the wildflowers xx

Mia'sMummy, I'm not sure what I believe either with regards to some parts of the poem, it just brought me a tiny bit of comfort on my first Mother's Day without my son, not without a lot of sobbing too of course! Tami I know you don't want to wait and it is unbelievably unfair, I remember shouting at someone shortly after losing our baby as they said something along the lines of 'My Grandma will look after him' because it should be ME looking after him, no one else.

everlong I did reply (rather sheepishly) on it. I remember when Tamsin died being angry that DH's ex wife had two little girls, and she drank & smoked. Of course I wouldn't want anything to happen to them, but really... there is no justification for increasing risks. I even changed my diet, as I was terrified of gestational diabetes, as I heard it could cause stillbirth, the bittersweet irony of it, I never did have it. I am overweight though, and reading that thread has made me wonder if that was the cause... should stay away from such emotive subjects.

emma Yep, we should be looking after them. The amount of people who've said "these things happen for a reason" What possible reason?

Ladies, we don't need brain bleach. Our brains are clean. . BUT some dreams are based on love. Some dreams are based on fear. The trick is to know which are based on love and which are based on fear. And then to ignore those based on fear and to embrace those based on love. Fear is the enemy of love.

Whatever my darling, face that dream without fear. You are probably going to have a healthy baby AND crucially, in the end even if the worst happened and your baby did not live long, then the baby would be like Erin. And I know you don't regret Erin, however dreadful you feel about what happened with Erin, you don't regret Erin. So you have no reason to fear that dream.

Mias and tami, thank you both for the wishes. I spend a lot of time on UK websites, sometimes because the volume of people means that you get more traffic when you start a thread but a lot of the time because of the wonderful diversity of the UK which means that opinions are less constricted and, well, insular. ( Yes, Great Britain is also an island, but with a bigger population and so many more cultures) But I love and embrace my Irishness, Ireland and its limitations may frustrate me but Ireland and its culture and music and greatness of heart do not.

Ds2 was in our local St Patrick's Day Parade with his Tae Kwon Do group. So we stood in the rain and watched him go past. I was so proud. But God, it rained and it rained and I so envied the mother standing beside us with her pink buggy and her Hello Kitty umbrella that she held over her toddler daughter.

Now, rain is the BEST you can expect from St Patrick's day parades. We have in the past have had sleet, hailstones or snow. But there was a lady a stone's throw away who had a baby boy in a buggy with a raincover. I envied her baby the raincover. And I envied her, that despite the fact that her son had Down Syndrome, I envied her her baby. I would now, prefer that Sylvie-Rose had Down Syndrome than that she was dead. And I am sort of angry that that was a lesson I didn't need to learn. I already KNEW that every child was worthwhile.

Oh chip that was so hard for you (((hugs))). Bet you're proud of DS2 though xx

Tami and Everlong I've read some of that thread too. But can't get past some of the hideous risks listed by a poster on the first page about being overweight. My bmi is just over 30, was with E and K. Interestingly I asked the consultant outright if that could have had anything to do with Erin he categorically said No. I also asked if I should lose weight before falling pg again, he said No (his belief that a bmi needs to be 50+ before it becomes a barrier to a healthy pregnancy) However on official recording figures apparently Erin's death will contribute to figures that more babies die to overweight women than healthy weight even though my weight cannot have caused her cancer. It got me thinking that the statistics must be pretty screwed. So my perfectly healthy weight friend recently had a baby who was 11lb and had a shoulder dystocia. She did not have gd. It was 'one of those things'. If she was overweight that would have been directly attributed to her weight again skewing statistics. Makes me

Chip as always loving your attitude and outlook. Thank you xx

Whatever, OMG. Cancer is cancer. The shittiest disease in the world. The messenger of death. A beautiful baby can't know anything of cancer. The only lesson cancer has ever taught anyone is that Death can get anyone.The smoking 90 yer old, the jogging 40 year old or the precious newborn. We all die. But cancer takes the best people , too soon.

Sounds like a thread I'm pleased to have missed.

whatever my lovely, I know. I felt exactly like you all the way through my pg with X. I'll be honest, the fear isn't going to go away, I don't know how I managed the fear, or how on earth my beautiful boy got here safely but he did and I'm so full of hope that your dream for this little baby will come true too. As always I found outletting onto my blog a huge help. keep talking, here to listen xx

Bought some colourful windmills to go up to Belle tomorrow. X's godmother has given us a gorgeous garden stone decoration with a sparkly butterfly on and 'bless this garden' for Belle too so we're going to take that with us as well.

Everybody very sad in our house tonight. DH is a Bolton Wanderers fan....one of the players Fabrice Muamba (aged just 23) collapsed just before half time on the pitch at Tottenham. He is in a critical condition in hospital. Hospital think he has had a heart attack. All my local friends on FB are posting about him and praying for him. All I can think is 'he is somebodys son....'

Morning all. Just a little note to say that we are the mummies of the most beautiful, wonderful children in the world. They know that we love them endlessly. My wish is that we can feel their enormous love for us all today. Xx

Morning. Our children are watching over us today, they have sent there love from heaven.

Happy mothers day lovely ladies hope you all get through today and feel the presence of your children no longer on earth with us.

Morning girls xx

Everlong - they have transferred him to another hospital and they say he remains in a critical condition. He is a real 'footballing hero' around here and everybody is very upset x

Hello ladies. I have been a very occasional poster on this thread over the last few years.

I just wanted to come and say I am thinking of you today. I know its a hard day.
The poems on here are absolutely lovely. Thank you for sharing them.

Today is the anniversary of DD1's death. I have always struggled with Mother's day, but today it is more difficult than a "Normal" mother's day as the 2 are on the same day.

positive I am so sorry, especially as today is such a painful, and poignant day for you xx

Wishing all you lovely ladies as pleasant and peaceful day as possible xx

I think that I may go to Tamsin's grave later

I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you all today. MrsK too & Little Lawrie who is without his Mummy today (Wubbly)... life is very unfair.

Lot of love & hugs x

PositiveAttitude - there are no words x