"Too Beautiful for Earth" For Sylvie-Rose and all our Angel Children

[chipmonkey]

For my darling Sylvie-Rose, taken from us just seven weeks after you were born. Too beautiful for this earth but I so wish you could have stayed nonetheless.
And for all the Mums walking this tough path. Let us link arms along the way and not be defeated by the cruel blow life has dealt us.

My thoughts are with the families of the murdered children and adult, in Toulouse. Two of three children were siblings, killed with their father. God only knows what their poor mother is going through, losing her family like that.

Morning ladies xx

Morning x

If you get the chance please watch a programme on BBC3 last night....'The Anti social network.' Very interesting and disturbing programme about trolling on the internet. Especially if you have children on FB. Was sat here making notes while it was on and staring at it like this as my wise 14 year old always says 'Dont feed the trolls Mum - thats what they want!!'

Morning Got a poorly Katie at home with me today, bless her x

Will watch that on iplayer Shabs sounds interesting. I must say I'd never heard of trolls before being on mn I still really really don't see the point in them. Surely they are just wasting their own time? And for what?

Attention? Richard Bacon presented the programme and met, both on the internet and in real life, the weirdest, strangest people I have ever seen!!! It was an eye opener to say the least. Horrible 'grown men' sending abusive messages on R.I.P. memorial sites on FB........one man had been put in prison for 18 weeks for trolling but still continued doing it!

It all got mixed together near the end Everlong.....I was trying to watch but getting mad at Tom because he was supposed to be revising for a French test LOL...think I will re-watch it today while its quiet here!! Richard Bacon started posting like a troll to snare in whoever it was. It ended up with someone opening an account in his name....they put a picture on his profile of him but badly beaten up!!! He was advised to go to the police urgently about them. They were also threatening his family absolute 'barmpots!!'

that is crazy shab! I will try and catch up with the programme later but I will never understand the kicks trolls get out of what they do.

My thoughts exactly Everlong - age is doing him a lot of favours

I remember watching Richard on Blue Peter, until he was kicked off for drug-taking (of course I was watching Blue Peter because of DS), then on Big Breakfast, I agree everlong he is pretty lush. Wish there was more eye candy on Cbeebies, seeing as I spend so much time watching avidly as my brain cells all protest with it on in the background, as DD1 insists on it, even if she's happily playing elsewhere. The only bloke I like is the one from the Green Balloon Club, and he must be 20ish... yikes!

Hopefully Tamsin's grave will get a bit of a make-over this week. It looked so forlorn this week. Sadly no one else has been to visit it since the funeral, which I can't say how much that upsets me. My parents have bought a lantern, to go on it, so I'm hoping they'll go up there. I wish my brother would - he's never been. He had the vital job of looking after DD1 on the funeral day, as I found out just how little support I had from so-called friends.

On the funny side - I bought a long blonde wig (I did have white blonde hair when I was in my mid-twenties, that broke every time I brushed it). DD1 hates it. She puts her hands over her face & won't look at me, and is still unsure after I've taken it off. It also does not suit me. It only cost £9 from Amazon, so a lot better than using a bottle of bleach

Go on, Tami! Admit it, you'd do Mr Tumble, wouldn't you!

I go to Sylvie-Rose's grave most days and try to keep fresh flowers on it. Ds3 and ds4 come with me, if I have them. MIL goes up from time to time and she bought me a big box of these fantastic candles which last for 8 days or so. My Mum would visit if she's here but she lives two hours away so doesn't often get the chance. Other than that, only dh's niece has ever really visited.

I would love to watch that show, shabs but the BBC usually don't let us Irish people watch things on the internet player thingy. But over the years, I have been shocked at what people will troll about. My troll-radar tends to be pretty poor. I got suckered in on that "Jess" thread. Everlong was streets ahead of me!

Chip - a few of us on this thread have been badly 'sucked in' by trolls in the past - your radar starts to develop after experiences like that xx

Good morning everyone

I don't post here and hoping for some advice. Dd's 3rd anniversary is next month. Whilst my family are loving, caring and supportive in most matters, I find them lacking when it comes to DD, eg, forgot her anniversary last year, refer to ds as first grandchild. My sister had a baby daughter this morning. I am really happy especially since I am an aunt for the first time. At the same time, it is bringing back memories of losing dd. I had a cry this morning and felt selfish. My brother, who i adore to bits, said he was an uncle for the second time (3rd time in my mind). Not sure how to deal with these comments, which no doubt, will get more insensitive in the coming days when we visit my niece. I don't want to overshadow my sister's joy. At the same time, why should dd be forgotten? Just wondered how you dealt with situations like this? I am not very vocal and tend to break out in tears.

TIA

Watched it now. Eye opening, some people are just vile.

I don't go to Belle as often as I should, I feel guilty all the time and always worrying it doesn't look tidy or pretty enough. :( We were going a couple if times a week in the beginning, the petrol costs were astronomical, now we go a couple of times a month, I aim for every other weekend when we can, especially now the weather starts improving. It is a 25 min drive away from us, so quite a distance. Eventually we want to move back to that town (we both grew up there), and that is why we chose that cemetery. We will be closer one day. Its the one we know and my Grandad is buried there. I couldn't bare to have her somewhere unfamiliar.

We went on Sunday and really girlified it up for Mother's Day and spring. I think it is the best its ever looked. Other people visit occasionally too, my parents and some friends. Last year on her birthday some good friends travelled 40 miles to leave a posy for her. I'll never forget it.

oh Sh crossed posted.

It is so hurtful isn't it. The day after X was born my Mil said "your parents must be so excited to be grandparents for the first time" (DH's niece was their first, Belle 2nd, Xander 3rd). I was in a haze of feeling unwell post labour and EMCS and just corrected her quite sharply with they are excited to be grandparents but they have Belle too. Things haven't been quite right with Mil since she discounted my baby girl as one of her own grandchildren, she knows it and has been over-compensating since; buying Belle an Xmas card, writing about her watching down on her brother in his dedication card. I find that equally as uncomfortable tbh because she never bothered before. I know maybe only trying to make amends but its all very sensitive isn't it.

Sh77, all you can do is just gently correct them and when speaking yourself, refer to your ds as your second child. Is there one person you could talk to who would have a word with the others to tell them how it upsets you to have dd left out?

Thank you everlong and caz. So sorry for the loss of your children. I guess i have to accept DDs death is not a big deal for anyone except me. I am not close to my mum. I cried when talking to dh but he appeared to have dealt with her death very quickly and so i dont like to bring up my feelings with him too often.

Caz- i understand how you feel about not visiting Belle as often as you would like. My dd is buried in the E Midlands but we live in London. I don't get to visit her much. In laws live close to where she is but rarely make the effort to visit her. I gave them a piece of my mind about it and it soured our relationship. TBH i do not want them visiting her out of obligation but because they want to.

Caz, I should say, Sylvie-Rose is buried in our village, and in fact, I could walk to the cemetery if I wasn't such a lazy mare. So it's very easy for me to visit. We do feel that we will never leave here now. I would hate to move away.

chip it is ridiculous the things I find to worry about these days! One is DH needing us all to move for his job. I really don't think I could do it now. I was always a homebird anyway, moving to the next town (5 years ago) was ordeal enough and it is literally down the road because there are not any real boundaries here, each town runs into the next!

sh that is a good suggestion. Just refer to your DS as child two. I often do this thinking about it. I don't know whether its my subconsciousness making a point!

As for your DH, I sometimes feel the same about mine, that its all 'dealt with' for him. In reality I know its not, and every so often I see him really hurting. I think men are just able to 'compartmentalise' their lives. So every now and again his 'Belle-box' comes out, where as I think for women, its so much part of every element of our lives.

I suppose i need to get some backbone and speak up. It is a very lonely place when those closest to you don't understand.

Caz - i agree about men and women dealing with it differently but dh forgot dd's birthday last year.