"Too Beautiful for Earth" For Sylvie-Rose and all our Angel Children

[chipmonkey]

For my darling Sylvie-Rose, taken from us just seven weeks after you were born. Too beautiful for this earth but I so wish you could have stayed nonetheless.
And for all the Mums walking this tough path. Let us link arms along the way and not be defeated by the cruel blow life has dealt us.

Happy Mothers Day, Angel Mummies! Our children ARE with us, this day.

Positive, that must be so hard. I hope you can get through today OK

I have to work but in a way, it's not so bad as it takes my mind off things.

Morning ladies xx

Wishing us all a peaceful day, and remember it is really just another day xx

I do hope that lumps is OK, and that she's having the best day she can, with her other children, and that she's got support.

If you're reading lumps we're thinking of you, and will be here, if/when you feel ready to join in again (((hugs))) xx

Hi, finally found you.
I hope today had been peaceful for you all. It has not been good here, I am fed up of hearing people moan that they didn't get a card or the present they want for mothers day. I just wish they would stop and be thankful that they have their children to hug and celebrate the day with. This was all said by my (step)mother, my dm sadly died giving birth to me.

Oh blizy how awful! you're stepmum doesn't know how lucky she is. I'm so sorry about your mum, it must have been awful not knowing her, then missing her on Mother's Day, and missing Zoe too xx

Oh Blizy I didn't know that about your mum How sad, mothers day must be doubly hard for you now with missing Zoe as well. Shame your stepmum can't realise that and try and make things a little easier for you. I'm sorry you've had such a trying day my lovely xxxx

Hope everyone else has got through today okay. K has been amazing and got me through, didn't stop me crying my eyes out at Erin's grave but otherwise okay xx

Thank you for the new thread. Remembering Scarlett, my beautiful little girl who died inside me a year and 3 months ago; when she left she took a part of me with her.

Hope today is treating us all well and gently. I'm enjoying Ella and all my children today but feeling the big gap left by Scarlett. We went to visit her and took flowers, bumped into a lady whose son was stillborn and has a grave near to Scarlett's. She seemed upset and needing a chat so I talked to her and I hope she's feeling a little better now. She said she didn't know where he was buried until a couple of year ago because she couldn't deal with it and was so ill in herself.

Felt for her a lot, she nearly lost another son recently to a motorcycle accident she said, he's 19. Hoping I'll bump into her again

Hello all , today has been tricky but also on the whole a good day . It does happen eventually I promise .

I will never forget that my boy isn't here but I can now find things to be thankful for .

Love to all who have survived today xx

its been a bit odd today. I have tried hard to make today about Ross and I ...I dont want him to think of mothers day as the day mummy was sad

We went to the park , just him and I , we played football and tennis and chucked his frisbee about . We went to my mils for dinner, I had a few too many brandies and him I played "ice hockey" with plastic golf clubs and ball

I have had a few self indulgent wobbles and cried cos I missed my mum and my ds 1 Fraser but over all I have survived

I am about to have a final glass of wine as I have to get up and drive to work in the morning

so here's the deal I will raise a glass to all our darling children

If you will raise a glass to my dear mum .. out of her suffering but taken from me all too soon .. I hope she is holding my darling firstborn close

fm You are very brave; I'm in awe of how you're coping, I really don't know how you managed today, here's something for you not what you want I know. You've just made me realise how glad I am I saw my mum today. I'm sure

everlong I'm ashamed to admit I've been guilty of moaning about trivial things in the past (probably still do, but manage to catch myself now if I realise it). I don't think I ever truly understood the impact of grief. It really does put things into perspective, though I'm ashamed I'm guilty of feeling sorry for myself when DD1 wouldn't go to sleep last night, woke at 3.30-5am, then got up again at 7am. I take sleeping pills, as well as my other medication, so when she wakes me, it makes the next day hell. I chastise myself for feeling that way.

Back on facebook, really, really hard. A friend putting up photos of the (very) expensive jewellery she'd been given from her 20month old. She said how lucky she was... I couldn't help but feel that no amount of jewellery or other material things, could ever make up for not having all three of my DC with me today.

cheese what a lovely thing for that poor lady to have you to talk to. How sad she's missed her DS's grave for so long, and nearly losing her son must have been truly awful, I can't imagine.

Ella is so beautiful, though looking at baby girls always makes me pine for Tamsin, as glad as I am to have DD1, I still wish she could have known her sister, like you'd love Ella, and your other DC to know Scarlett. Other people just don't get it when they say "at least you have" do they?

tw glad you've had a mostly good day

fm (hugs) thinking of you and of your Mum

tamisara Nothing can ever make up for a child not being there, not ever (hugs). We talked a while, she seemed upset (obviously I guess) but I'm glad I was there as at least then she had someone to speak with. Never know what others lives are like. She said she's since divorced too.

Thank you. I know what you mean, I still feel the same way about Scarlett. I definitely get the impression that I'm supposed to be "over" losing her now that I've had Ella, as though you can move on from losing a child just by having another one. Just doesn't work that way. Having children already doesn't negate the pain you feel either, not at all.

*Cheese" I'm glad you ran into that lady today. Sounds like she needed the chat.

Blizy I'm sure your Mum is looking after Zoe now and she must be so proud looking down on you and how well you're coping. So sorry your SM is being ungrateful. Some people just don't know how good they have it.

FM am raising my glass towards the sky.....I know, without any doubt, that your Mum is with your precious little man and loving him. Cant imagine how you are feeling. xxx

ok today is nearly over. How about we all raise a glass to us, to this special group of Mums who have survived the worst thing that can happen. We go on one day at a time together, we deserve a round of applause. xxx

It sounds like a lot of ladies here have been very kind and brave today. Wow, you are truly admirable. to you all, reaching out to others when they needed it, despite your own circumstances.

Despite my plans, I had a big breakdown digging in the garden today, and DH came outside to find me in the rain, breaking down dirt clods barely able to see, tears everywhere...total self-indulgent moment, I admit. Things improved, with kind friends sending texts, and when I finally planted Mia's wildflower seeds, the sky was blue, the sun was shining, and the birds were singing.

My quote of the day - a Chinese proverb - "You can't prevent the birds of sorrow flying over your head - but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair".

Very true Lavandes....xxxx

Cheers ladies , you inspire me with your courage, you pick me up, and your boys give me the best one-liners, Shabba!

Yay virtual Well done ladies we did it today with grace and dignity and love for our children in our hearts xxx

miasmummy what a lovely proverb. It's fine to have a breakdown, it's so not self-indulgent... how the hell can crying because you miss your beautiful child be self-indulgent?

I totally understand though, I often think that myself, feeling very sorry for myself, coming on here, and being humbled by the courage shown by others, then I feel that I shouldn't feel the way I do.

But hearing you say it has made me think about it differently. Our children are what we live for. It's not self-indulgent to cry for Mia - it's honest. The smiling masks we wear are just pretend a way to make others feel better, and allow us to function, and to carry on, and forward, taking our children with us in love. But to breakdown is not a weakness, we're allowed to let the mask slip, and it's just honesty.

You love Mia, every other mother on here loves their child, I love Tamsin, so much I feel it must suffocate me at times. But when Dsis rings & talks about problems, or someone asks how I am, I lie, I pretend, and even believe the pretence myself. But if I breakdown & let my feelings show, so what? I'm proud of my love for Tamsin, there is no shame in that.

You're doing great miasmummy, you really are xx

Lovely, lovely proverb, Mias. And perfectly normal to have a breakdown. But glad that your friends came through in the end. I can't wait to see a picture of the lovely wildflowers you have planted for your own lovely Wild Flower.

I think that for me it's not just about a mask but that if I fall for too long then I'll be stuck in a well that I can't get out of. When Scarlett died I found it so hard to function and I struggled to pull myself back from it so I try now not to hit that bottom.

Hard to explain but I find things difficult to cope with at times anyway let alone with this too and so I try not to sink in that way that I did.