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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Our Children budded on earth to bloom in heaven

973 replies

frasersmummy · 15/04/2011 08:12

I think we have had this title before but it seems appropriate for spring

I have started this thread in honour of all our children but particularly Fraser who would have been 7 today. Happy birthday son we still miss you dearly. You will always be our firstborn and we always remember you in our hearts

OP posts:
greenzebra · 30/05/2011 12:25

TooImmature2BMum good for you, we have something in common Ive started a exercise regime too and have lost 3 pounds so far, you are right it does make me feel better too.

I do want to be pregnant again soon so I thought starting the exercise and healthy eating taking vitamins all to get my body back and my sanity to start to try for another baby.

Ive been thinking about tattoos aswell , my DH has a tattoo of Ophelias hand print on his arm, it looks so sweet. We give it little hi-fives when we make a family decison. Ive been thinking about what I would like to get. Not sure yet but I think I would want something.

janedoe25 · 30/05/2011 13:10

Oh i have the shred too, starting today! greenzebra i have a tattoo on my left wrist, it is Zoe's name in fancy black writing with a butterfly above the e. I love it, i want to get her birthday underneath too.

TooImmature2BMum · 30/05/2011 18:33

I did wonder about tattoos, but never got any further. DH got Thea's handprints cast in silver (a friend of his is a silversmith in Glasgow) and we both wear them as necklaces. I also have a heart pendant engraved with her name. How do you go about choosing tattoos? Are there pictures online?

greenzebra · 30/05/2011 18:51

there are pictures, but I think its just best to come up with an idea your self like a name etc and then decide where you want it and see what the tattooist says. Thats what my husband does.

I am picking up a locket tomorrow that has a picture of my girl and a lock of her hair sealed inside.

janedoe25 thats beautiful, I associate yellow tulips with my little girl as I saw a lone one on the day I gave birth. I was thinking of this as a tattoo but I think yellow might not look good on my skin as Im very pale.

Its Ophelias funeral tomorrow, not sure what to do with myself tonight, keep on staring at my black clothes hanging on the back of the door. Can't believe this day has come, its too unreal. Shouldnt be happening. She should be here sleeping in our arms. Not sure how Im going to react when I see the tiny coffin tomorrow. I feel a bit numbSad

kazmus · 30/05/2011 19:10

will be thinking of you greenzebra and hope you find the strength to get through tomorrow.

shakeyjake · 30/05/2011 20:44

evening girls. Will be thinking of you greenzebra tommorow, we had grace cremated and the coffin was so tiny but was beautiful all the same. My dh carried her into the chapel. I just couldnt stop thinking this shouldnt be happenning and i will wake up soon. The thing that got methrough it was thinking of grace and being strong for her. I wanted to show that i was and still am proud of her.

lavandes · 30/05/2011 22:08

Sending love to you and your family greenzebra I will be thinking of you tomorrow xx

CheeseandGherkins · 30/05/2011 23:39

Will be thinking of you tomorrow greenzebra, I remember feeling really nervous and worried before Scarlett's funeral but the anticipation of it was (not worse as nothing could have been, but made me feel worse I guess) than the actual day. It was nice to lay her to rest. Seeing the tiny coffin was bloody hard but you will get through it. I'm sure you will have lots of people thinking of you and virtually holding your hand throughout tomorrow (hugs)

I'm also going to get a tattoo, I just don't know what of yet, I want it to be just right. DH is also getting one. I like the idea of footprints but I'll have her name and dob on it too.

shabbapinkfrog · 30/05/2011 23:44

Sorry I haven't been around as much as normal girls....cant explain other than to say my head is messed up. Just feel resentful, angry, sad and a million other words.

Will be thinking about you tomorrow Green - at my DS3's funeral the order of service was titled 'Service of Thanksgiving for Matthew.....those words were so right....a thanksgiving for a special child. I will be thinking about you and will be with you in spirit. xxx

janedoe25 · 31/05/2011 07:32

greezebra im thinking about you and your gorgeous Ophelia today, im here holding your hand xx

shabs don't be sorry, we all have our bad days. Sending some hugs to you x

shabbapinkfrog · 31/05/2011 08:04

Morning girls xx

lavandes · 31/05/2011 10:01

Have a hug shabs xx

shabbapinkfrog · 31/05/2011 10:15

Thanks love - just feel 'dithery' and aggravated all the time. xx

lavandes · 31/05/2011 12:06

Do you think it is time to dig out the 'pissed off and proud' T shirts? xx

TooImmature2BMum · 31/05/2011 12:12

Greenzebra, thinking of you today too. I found the funeral itself terrible but the wake afterwards was strangely cheerful - I think everyone was so relieved to have managed to get through the funeral, and all my family and friends were there, some of whom I hadn't seen for ages, so there was an almost festive atmosphere. You will get through it and Baby Ophelia will be proud of having such a brave mummy.

Shabs, big hug from me too - God knows you've helped everyone here often enough!

Shakey, I know what you mean about feeling so proud of having Grace. I felt incredibly proud and honoured to have had Thea even for a little while. I don't know if it was birth hormones or what, but I also felt proud of myself for making, growing and giving birth to her. I try to hang onto that feeling.

shabbapinkfrog · 31/05/2011 12:19
CheeseandGherkins · 31/05/2011 12:37

greenzebra thinking of you today (hugs)

shabs (hugs) for you too, just do what you have to do xx

lavandes · 31/05/2011 12:38

I think I need to cut out the chocolate, mines too tight!!

Original poster
frasersmummy · 31/05/2011 18:54

how are you doing zebra.. you will be wiped out tonight ... be good to yourself and get some sleep

The worst is now past and the very first tiny step on the road to healing happens tomorrow .. here gives us your hand and we will help you take your first step!

shabs I know what you mean about you head being messed up ... its an all too familiar feeling .. anything I can do to help??? stupid question I know but I am here if you want to talk

OP posts:
spilttheteaagain · 31/05/2011 19:43

It goes in waves shabs. Shit days/phases followed by easier ones. I am learning it is better not to fight the crappy days, they will come whatever I do. Hope you are ok xx

Greenzebra how did it go today? Been thinking of you xx

Feeling awful here. Today is one year since the start of my pregnancy with Bobbie. I thought I would have a three month old baby girl now. It hurts that I don't. I feel so flattened and defeated by the loss.

spilttheteaagain · 31/05/2011 19:46

I suppose it's the start of all the anniversaries now. I know the date I got my BFP, the date morning sickness kicked in, the dates of my scans, the day I heard her heartbeat for the first and last time, God I'm going to torture myself through every bloody one Sad

janedoe25 · 31/05/2011 20:48

spilt hugs to you xx

CheeseandGherkins · 31/05/2011 20:54

spilt (hugs) I know what you mean. I'm a little ahead of you, 2 days time will 6 months since we found out she'd died, the 2nd. The 6th was when she was born. 6 months seems such a, well, long time but also so short. Half a year, does not seem real. It's hard thinking of what you should have now isn't it? I see photos all over my fb of babies born around the same time and can't help thinking of Scarlett, I can't look at a lot of them but I try. I'm not bitter, I'm happy for them, just sad for me if that makes sense.

lavandes · 31/05/2011 21:40

A candle is lit in Cornwall for you and your precious Ophelia greenzebra, such a traumatic day, take care xxx

shabbapinkfrog · 01/06/2011 07:02

Morning girlsxx

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