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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Our Children budded on earth to bloom in heaven

973 replies

frasersmummy · 15/04/2011 08:12

I think we have had this title before but it seems appropriate for spring

I have started this thread in honour of all our children but particularly Fraser who would have been 7 today. Happy birthday son we still miss you dearly. You will always be our firstborn and we always remember you in our hearts

OP posts:
peterpansmum · 13/05/2011 16:55

Afternoon everyone xx I now have one week left with the Scottish Cot Death Trust and then it's back to being unemployed again! I'm doing a Firewalk tonight in Gregor's memory so wish me luck - should be 'on the coals' around 9.30 so when you lovely ladies are tucking into your wine spare my wee feet a thought !!

shabbapinkfrog · 13/05/2011 17:16

Good luck sweetheart - I will be thinking about you xxx

travellingwilbury · 13/05/2011 17:23

I will be raising a glass for you tonight .

A lovely friend of mine did a firewalk last year , she said it was an amazing night .

janedoe25 · 13/05/2011 17:53

Good luck Peterpansmum, im sure Gregor will be so proud of his fantastic Mummy!

travellingwilbury · 13/05/2011 18:29

How is everyone doing tonight ?

lavandes · 13/05/2011 18:43

Good luck ppm you are an amazing mum I will light a candle tonight in memory of your beautiful Gregor and all our beloved children xxx

gingegirl · 13/05/2011 20:03

hi everybody, im new to this thread unfortunetly none of us should have to be on here!!!
my beautiful son past away last week on 4 may in bristol childrens hospital.his funeral was yesturday.
this has been the hardest week of my life!! oliver was only 2 years old and im sure you all know too well that there is i big hole in my life now!!!!
how do you cope?????

CheeseandGherkins · 13/05/2011 20:30

Evening.

travelling thank you :) Was an easier night actually and am feeling fairly up today.

ppm good luck, candle lit here

gingegirl I'm so sorry for your loss :( The funeral must have been so difficult. Did you find any reasons why it happened?

I'm doing ok today, feeling more up than I have in a while, just hoping it lasts.

frasersmummy · 13/05/2011 22:53

good luck ppm..please let us know how it was ...

Hi Gingegirl.we are sorry you have to be here but happy you have found us. I am sorry to hear about your little boy.. do you want to tell us what happened.. its ok if you dont
How did we cope... well its a long hard road but we are all here to support each other. Sometimes its witha hug and sometimes its with a kick up the bum and sometimes its even with a smile .
So here's a hand to get you started.. stick with us and we will help each other over the ups and downs

Its been an odd week this week.. Mum was back in hosp last week and has only been home for a week and has been taken back in tonight.

anyway there is a light shining in Glasgow for Gergor tonight

OP posts:
peterpansmum · 14/05/2011 02:10

Wow what an amazing night!!! Heading to bed but just wanted to thank u all for your support tonight... Was an incredible charity night for the Trust x

Gingegirl I am so sorry for your loss. Gregor was also two when he died. Thinking of u n Oliver tonight, so sorry we meet here xxx

shabbapinkfrog · 14/05/2011 10:30

Morning girls xx

gingegirl · 14/05/2011 11:51

oliver had williams syndrome which is a rare chromasomal disorder. outwardly he was a well, happy little man. his development was affected but he was a joy to be around!!!!
we knew he had a heart condition from birth but didnt realise the full extent of it till it was too late!!!!
he went into bristol childrens hospital for a cadiac catheter and suffered 5 cardiac arrests, we made the choice to switch off the machines and held him in our arms to fall asleep. it was the hardest thing i will ever have to do, but it was the best thing for oliver!!!!
i lost my dad to cancer when i was 11 and i thought that was the worst thing to go through, but the hurt im feeling now compares to nothing!!!!!

shabbapinkfrog · 14/05/2011 11:55

Oh Ginge - so sorry. My twin boy (Gareth) had two holes in his heart, his pulmonary valve hardly worked and the arteries in his lungs were not growing at all. He had tiny red curls (like my grandson) and a temper to match. He had to have the same procedure as your little man. I can still hear him crying whilst it was done. He was such a fighter.

I know what you mean about your Fathers death......there is nothing that compares to the heartbreak of loosing a child. The hoplessness of it all - the intense pain.

lavandes · 14/05/2011 15:18

Afternoon ladies xx

Well done ppm have you got sore feet?

I am so sorry you have lost your beloved Oliver ginge. It is so unfair that he had to go through all that pain. You will find support here from us all and we will not judge you. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself xx

Minione · 14/05/2011 18:55

Hi Ginge I am so sorry to hear about your little boy Oliver, please come and chat to us, although our stories differ we've all experienced something that isn't supposed to happen, our children aren't meant to go before us.

PPM - Well done love, how are the feet?

I did something for the first time yesterday, I spoke to some students about Malachy. Not like when I went back to school and some of them didn't know and asked me about the baby, but voluntarily. I'm obviously pregnant now but my A2 class (who I taught last year so knew all about Malachy, sent me a card etc) haven't mentioned it. However, they were talking about pregnancy so I told them. Then, 2 lovely girls were sitting by me using the computer and started asking me if I knew the gender, names etc. And then I told them about the baby that died, that I called him Malachy Aidan. They were really sweet and said what a lovely name etc and again these young women of 17 and 18 dealt with it better than some of the staff.

My voice didn't crack or anything, yet I'm holding back tears typing this.

Oh, and I have some fab news, one of my best friends is pregnant, a month behind me! Her mum died a week after we lost Malachy so she was going through her own grief at the same time. However, she came to Malachy's funeral and was so strong for me that day, I can never thank her enough for that. Unfortunately, she lives an hour and half away so we don't see each other that much, wish she was closer so we could do baby stuff together ( as oppposed to the getting roaring drunk that we usually do whilst not pregnant!).

Anyway, hope you are all ok, love and hugs to you all x

shabbapinkfrog · 15/05/2011 07:29

Morning girls xx

peterpansmum · 15/05/2011 10:03

Morning all xx I am pleased to say I do not have any ill effects from friday evening, my feet are fine and not at all harmed!! It was an incredible experience, we also broke an arrow on our neck LOL!! I think some of my friends thought I was absolutely nuts but (and i know all of you will understand this) what could possibly be sorer or more painful than the loss of a child? Not hellish much in my experience. It was really quite an empowering experience and if any of you get the chance to do it I'd say 'go for it'. There are some pics on my FB page already and by tonight (hopefully) there will hopefully be more pics and video on the Scottish Cot Death Trust FB page so if you haven't already 'liked' our page come have a look.

Mini - sounds like you had a lovely experience with your students. It sounds like they were really in tune with you and not afraid to ask the questions as some of your colleagues have been.

How are you all doing? xx

shabbapinkfrog · 15/05/2011 10:50

Oh PPM - beautiful, beautiful photo's. Chinese Lanterns make me want to sob...they are wonderful xxx

peterpansmum · 15/05/2011 11:02

Thanks Shabs, I wish you and all the other lovely ladies here could have been there it was an incredibly moving and inspirational evening. So hard to explain in words just how moving it was... Wow, just wow!

shabbapinkfrog · 16/05/2011 06:41

Morning girls xx

lavandes · 16/05/2011 07:49

Morning ladies xx

peterpansmum · 16/05/2011 07:57

Morning x

lottiejenkins · 16/05/2011 08:17

Morning all, Bumble is settling in okish. I have had two nights of howling and whining but he is loving being with us. When Wilf went back to school yesterday afternoon Bumble jumped in the taxi with him!! Grin I think he is missing Wilf already! Sad

frasersmummy · 16/05/2011 18:39

its all gone very quiet...

I am mentally and physically exhausted dh is working every hour god sends so I feel like a single mum except I also have him to lok out for

couple that with hospital visiting and I am mentally and physically exhausted. When I am low like this I find mysellf thinking of Fraser a lot and tears are never very far away

I know I have a lot to be happy about.. just cant summon the energy to believe it right now

OP posts:
shabbapinkfrog · 16/05/2011 19:30

Massive love to you Fmammy xxxx

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