Beyond the distant star, I wish upon tonight to see you smile, If only for a while, to know you're there.

[shabbapinkfrog]

Our thread to honour and remember our precious children who sadly are not 'physically' here xxxxx

Mini would love you to meet my DS4 - he started to read and recognise words when he was about 13 months old - now I have written that it sounds ridiculous but Im not fibbing. When he was in reception the teacher asked me if I minded him having a look at a SAT paper. He was still 4 then - his birthday is at the end of July....she graded his paper and said he had scored 97%!

Academically he has no problems (except for Indices in Maths ) but socially he struggles every day to fit in. He wants to be a journalist.

He is a perfectionist and sets his standards very high, he gets so frustrated if he cant do something. His favourite subjects are English, History and IT.

Dont think its the same Mr Patel

The funniest of my children was Matty - he was very late with his speech and only went to school because, as he said 'Me wov the teachers and the girls in my class!!!' He was diagnosed as dyslexic a few weeks before he was killed. He was letter and number blind! He wrote in long sentences without any gaps and if I asked him to write the number 10 he would put 01.

On the Friday before his accident on the Sunday he was at my Mums for tea. He said to my Mum 'Grandma when I die how will I know how to read the signpost?' My mum said 'what signpost.' 'Well, Gran, the signpost that says Heaven or Hell.' My Mum laughed and said 'Dont be silly love I will have died by then and I will wait for you and show you the way.' He wouldn't be pacified with that and she had to write the words Heaven and Hell over and over again for him. In the end he said 'OK so I stay away from the little word and go to the big word?'

That little conversation still sticks firmly in my Mums head - 18 years down the road.

Morning girls xx

Morning ladies x

Shabs - Wow, he sounds like a real smart kid, I'm assuming he's on the gifted and talented register for English? If not he sounds like he should be. I wanted to be a journalist too!

Matty sounded a hoot! I had problems with my speech ( I couldn't say my Rs, my name has one in the middle and I used to either miss it out or replace it with a b?!). My mum fondly remembers the time I announced to the speech therapist that 'I have a pimple on my bottom!' . Yes, I bet that conversation has stuck with your mum

Morning all

Feeling all a bit wrung out this morning zzzzz

Morning Mini.

Matty couldn't pronounce his 'r' or 'l' sounds. His conversation would go - 'Oh Mam I weally wove Webecca, I wike it when she kisses me!!. (Rebecca was his primary school girlfriend) 'Today she had wed wibbons in her hair and she's got wovewy wed wips

Shab - What a cutie!

Hi Tw - big hugs xxxx. I hope today is a little easier x

TW - you got 'through' yesterday and I know how hard it must have been for you. Do you feel tired out today? I always do after my sons birthdays or remember days xxxx Hope you are OK xxxx

Yes Shabs I am officially knackered today xx

I reckon thats very normal - although - I have been accused of being barking mad xxx

Me too but then I would rather be barking than "normal" whatever the hell that is .

Please can i join the knackered group?? I went to London to the hospital yesterday and to see Mama Mia. I got home at 2am. I then got up at 7.30 to take my friends daughter to school. She rang me at 7.45 to say she would walk her to school! grrrrrrrr
!!

I watched the film 'Mama Mia' and just sat there at first - hoping that the three main female characters would STOP SHOUTING.....then I got into the swing of it - and now I love it very much. You do know Lottie I will be singing Abba songs all piggin' day now!

Morning everyone. Another shattered person here. I keep hoping time will stop so it doesnt get to a year. My misson was to et my tattoo for Matty before then and i got it on the 30th went with mum and got her 1 for her birthday. It says in loving memory in a script font then i have a heart with grey and white shading and Matty in the same script font in it. I love it even though it is the most obvius of my tattoos. By obvious i mean anyone can see the meaning behind me getting it all my others are more subtle or vague with their meanings to other people.

Morning folks

Another one with not much sleep here either.

Hope you all have good days x

Hello.

I wondered of I could please plant three flowers in your garden for Charlie, George and Harry.

We lost them at 16+4 weeks gestation on September 28th 2006 so have just had their five year anniversary.

I know that you wonderful ladies have experienced some very unpleasent times of late so understand if you are dubious to my arrival.

I'm not looking to intrude, just to plant something and maybe pop back to help tend the garden and trim the hedges?

Mouseface - you are more then welcome here. The door is always open for anyone.

I'm sorry that you have to be here - life is so cruel and unfair.

You are not intruding at all mouseface , feel free to come by whenever you like .

I am so sorry to hear of your loss xx

Thank you, that means a lot.

And please don't get me started on how unfair life is dee, I have a very long script all ready for the Big Man when I get up there!

Now that's assuming there is a big man

I've posted this in main chat because it sometimes feels like i am.

Do you feel like you're defined by the death of your child(ren)?

Welcome Mouse - so very sorry for your awful loss.

'Do you feel like you are defined by the death of your child(ren)?'

I'm not sure if that is a question for me but something I have noticed is when people talk about the bereaved parent/person, they sometimes say 'You know, Mrs X, she's the one who's daughter died.'

Not, 'She's the one who is so and so's mum', or 'so and so's wife, who works in M&S, has a degree, went to school with X, you know, blonde hair' or whatever.

No, she had a child(ren) who died and that's it.

Does anyone else find this or am I super sensitive to it?

I think that when people talk about DS (aka Nemo as he is our little survivor) they say 'You know, Mouse, the one with the DS with SN'

Or 'Mouse, the one who lost triplets'

But as you say dee, I am more than that. We all are. I never want to forget them, never. And I won't. But maybe find out more about me than what you have been told by others.

Not you guys as we've only just met IYSWIM?

Where did that come from? Sorry.

Changed my name a little.... hope you don't mind.

Had a shit 24 hours. I realise how petty this is about to sound, but I'm in a state.

I'm home a day early after a horrible falling out with parents and sister. I'm so hurt and angry right now. I don't think I have the energy to go into the full details, but it seems even as adults, however my sister behaves I'm still the one that comes out the bad guy. Its so petty and pathetic. Dad has basically said all my sisters problems are mine and my brothers fault. She always could do no wrong being the baby.

Dad also said just because I'm unhappy doesn't mean everyone else has to be. I'll admit I'm probably awful to be around, but I have to keep the brave face going everywhere else, I thought I could just be me around them. I feel broken all over again. He even said its not that bad compared to what some people go through.

:(

Don't know what else to say.

Breathed a sigh of relief when we his the M4 and I could see the road signs for Cardiff and Newport. Spent the afternoon asleep. Glad I'm home.

Hello to Mouse - I'm so sorry to hear of your beautiful boys.

Dee - will read your thread now...