What would you think if you saw a ....

[opinionsplease]

harrassed mum pull down her dd's knickers and smack her bum in the street?

I've changed my name in case I get recognised.

YES!! you werent nasty .. i am off to watch BB too - dp just came and grabbed me for it!

And....... we have been the best of friends since

No, I'm not Carla. I don't think my friend does use mn but I didn't want her to ever come across the post with me on it iykwim.

Fwiw, I have absolutely no doubts at all about her ability as a mother. I would consider her to be a better parent than me in lots of ways.

I wouldn't even consider reporting her and it dwfinitely wasn't sexual abuse.

I'm interested in some of your reactions because if anyone else saw what happened maybe they would have jumped to the same conclusions.

Totally agree with TSAP that many people on this site give the impression of being perfect, I'm sure that lots more smack than would ever admit it.

i am afraid to say..I am not perfect and have smacked. But i do try to talk it through and wxplain why I have said no etc. Sometimes though in he eye of danger a sharp shock is better then ...a burn, a cut etc.

did that make sense?

Oh please MLL! I already said I've changed my name. I've been posting on other things as well and just thought I'd wait until I had a few more responses before I changed my name back to post again.

It pisses me off that everyone shouts troll every 2 minutes.

Oh FGS smacking children is not good but aren't we getting a bit hysterical talking about sexual abuse? I can remember my parents smacking me like this as can some other posters. Like them, I hated it, but it certainly wasn't sexual abuse! As Awen says, the intention is to make the smack hurt more, nothing more suspicious than that.

Good post, Fran1. That's what I was trying to say in my first post - my normal, happy, puts-up-with-anything-from-her-dd does, on very rare occasions, gets pushed over the edge. Very rare. And a tap on the hand. But knowing how patient she is with her > somewhat spoilt child, I know she wouldn't do it under normal circumstances.

Dont think the smacking is the issue really..think the fact the mum was stressed and we are all judging her! Shouldnt someone be thinking poor women

awen - why am I being banished and ignored?

Sorry am writing an essay (sort of) as I post and have got confused.

do we know what went on before the 'incident'? Maybe she had been told..if you dont stop that I will pull your pants down in front of everyone and smack your bottom (like your mum used to say!!!) So Maybe she felt she had to carry out threat!

I wouldn't say I'm stewing about it. I was interested in what a bystanders opinion might be, if they had no prior knowledge of the family.

Twinset-notice the grin. Awen is being funny in response to your comment

'banished to Mumsnetter coventry'

at least i hope she was

i meant funny- ha ha btw

oh of course!

feeling a bit thick now! No wonder I can't do my essay

i'd think - " oh no one of those days eh?...glad am not you"

is it so wrong to do this.....this parent acted how she saw fit at the time.....I would not judge her for this......sorry but I would.

...sorry....my end sentence was ...I would not judge her for this.......

I'm back - - i was trying to be funny. Dont worry mrs R - what essay are you doing? I do understand the not getting things cos of essay - finished my 4000 in time ot collect ds and shoot of to the uni to drop off!

opps i meant twinset - duh - see i cant read for toffees either

I just wanted to clarify I am by no means a perfect parent but I do not smack ds and if i did i would be totally gutted cos i dont want to have to. Could go into to great debate but dont think would be helpful.

If I saw this, and the mother and daughter were strangers, I'd try to discreetly see what happened next - did the child and mother seem ok together afterwards? Were they calming down once the moment of tension had passed? I certainly wouldn't call it sexual abuse or report it, if it was a quick one off smack.

Opinionplease, you say the mother is a friend of yours and you feel she is a good parent. I'd support her, not judge her. TwinsetandPearls made such a good point in her message.

At some other time, could you talk to your friend about how she feels when her daughter says she hates her? It's a phase children go through, IMO. Perhaps your friend feels she is the only one with a daughter like this and it just hits a button with her. I'd also tell your friend what a lovely girl her daugher is and how much she seems to love her mother, in case your friend needs reassurance.

Awen - I have been more upset by your essay writing smugness than your perfect parenting!!!

I am writing an essay entitled
"How do infants come to understand and produce their first words."

I actually am a perfect parent. so if you need to know anything?