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Original poster

What would you think if you saw a ....

216 replies

opinionsplease · 18/07/2005 19:56

harrassed mum pull down her dd's knickers and smack her bum in the street?

I've changed my name in case I get recognised.

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nutcracker · 18/07/2005 19:57

I would think that it was the wrong thing to do and that she would probably regrett it afterwards.

Original poster
opinionsplease · 18/07/2005 19:58

Should say it wasn't me.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 18/07/2005 19:59

I would be shocked, upset, and sad (for both parent and child). I think it is very humilating for the child and shouldn't be occuring. If mum looked harrassed Id hope she was getting some support or help to manage better.

But would I say anything? Sadly no, I am still too much of a coward so in such a circumstance I doubt it.

jampots · 18/07/2005 20:00

Firstly I would think whats the point in pulling hte knickers down - yet another job you dont have to do.

Then, I think I would be inclined to ask if I could help with anything. Im sure we've all have PITA children with us when out shopping but Ive never resorted to that!

jampots · 18/07/2005 20:00

Firstly I would think whats the point in pulling hte knickers down - yet another job you dont have to do.

Then, I think I would be inclined to ask if I could help with anything. Im sure we've all have PITA children with us when out shopping but Ive never resorted to that!

Frizbe · 18/07/2005 20:01

I go with Nutcraker, but I don't think I'd say 'owt probably make the situation worse....guess it depends on the person/area, IUKWIM

essbee · 18/07/2005 20:01

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essbee · 18/07/2005 20:02

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Original poster
opinionsplease · 18/07/2005 20:03

Harrassed mum is a friend of mine. Never seen her do anything like that before.

OP posts:
paolosgirl · 18/07/2005 20:06

I'd feel shocked and sad - but then again, seeing parents smoke over the pram of their babies, seeing kids being sworn at, seeing them being screamed at - all of these things (and more) upset me.
A smack on the backside and I'd probably not say anything, but if it was on the face or head I def. would.

kama · 18/07/2005 20:06

This reply has been deleted

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essbee · 18/07/2005 20:07

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Hulababy · 18/07/2005 20:08

How old is her DD? What had she down that was so naughty?

Do you know why she is so harrassed that she resorted to that?

Could you offer to take her DD for a day to give her some space?

Original poster
opinionsplease · 18/07/2005 20:09

I am no angel and I have smacked. I'm not proud of it but I do understand the exasperation that can drive you to do things you might not normally do.

I was surprised, she always seems so calm and in control normally.

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Original poster
opinionsplease · 18/07/2005 20:10

Sorry, dd is 6.

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Aimsmum · 18/07/2005 20:15

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NotQuiteCockney · 18/07/2005 20:20

I'd be pretty horrified. But I don't know whether I'd say anything specific ... maybe just ask, another time, how things are going, or even say "you seem to be having a hard time" ...

Had the DD done something that (at least to some extent) "justified" the smacking?

Original poster
opinionsplease · 18/07/2005 20:23

Was being a bit bratty and told her that she hated her.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 18/07/2005 20:25

Poor woman, if she's a friend and you know this is out of character, I would just try to offer her support, maybe try and chat with her if you get a chance. Sounds like she is losing the plot.

NotQuiteCockney · 18/07/2005 20:27

Oh dear. That would really disturb me. How is hitting a kid a reasonable response to them saying something like that?

I'd offer support and a listening ear, I guess, particularly if she is generally a really good mum. That way, if she wants to talk about what's going on, she'll feel comfortable talking to you.

jalopy · 18/07/2005 21:13

This happened to me when I was very little. I remember it to this day. I've got 3 children and I have never, ever smacked or humiliated them like this.

expatinscotland · 18/07/2005 21:15

I wouldn't hesitate to report it. Sorry, but people like that need parenting classes and help.

I'm the adult in the situation. She's the child. But this gal got her roles reversed.

Not to mention it's a humiliating and disgusting thing to do to a human being.

MamaMaiasaura · 18/07/2005 21:15

Sounds like she is having trouble coping and reacted in anger rather than responsibily. For risk of sounding preachy as the adult she should have stepped out of situation and given nil response to her dd's behavouir as pretty sure all little ones go through a stage of saying 'i hate you' just to see the reaction. I understand they say the hate parents cos they acutally want parents to say they love them and the kids are feeling like parents dont like them.. if that makes sense or is that way off. Maybe too psychological

tbh if i was 6 and my mum treated me like that i would probably say i hated her too tho.

Carla · 18/07/2005 21:16

She pulled down her knickers because the smack would smart more. I've been in situations with my friend and her daughter that would make me flip my lid - who am I to say what her boiling point would be?

MamaMaiasaura · 18/07/2005 21:17

expat - agree. I dont do smacking at all. You explained much better. Basically as adults we wouldnt accept our bosses/partners/friends etc hitting us so why should a child be treated that way? Should i start a new thread for this one?