What would you think if you saw a ....

[opinionsplease]

harrassed mum pull down her dd's knickers and smack her bum in the street?

I've changed my name in case I get recognised.

no it doesnt it says that an adult sreaming and shouting is very scary!!
Did any of you get a smack as a child?

screaming and shouting ffs. Sorry but i wouldnt scream at ds either.

I kinda feel i have to stand up for my no smack etc rules cos I dont think it is a good way to discipline. Yes i did get a smack as a child and yes i did get shouted in the face sometimes.

I have a happy well balanced boy who behaves himself most of the time. He isnt an angel he is a happy kid. I am not ever going to feel that smacking is ok and esp not how this thread started - bare bum. I dont think using physical force make a point any stronger, it actually weakens the argument because it may mean that the point that is so important cant be put into words and is just pure frustration (which i do understand happens).

No I don't scream and shout at DD, and no I wasn't smacked as a child (3rd generation non-smacker). I'm not perfect and she's not an angel. I have accepted that some people will always choose to smack but I CANNOT accept that there is ever any need for a child's pants to be pulled down, least of all in a public place and like others, I do think that "we" as a Society are quite mixed up about when it's OK to judge other people.

Good post Colditz.

where did man and wife beating come into this thread??

I thought this thread had died a death.

Everything is fine now, not that I thought it wouldn't be. I haven't discussed the matter with her and doubt if I will. As I said I was surprised but I'm confident that she is an excellent mother.

a smack on the butt never done us anyharm

if i am honest i too have smacked ds bottom through clothes though and i was gutted, he was too and then we had a chat about what happened and became feiends

I think we should disipline our children as we see fit. Obviously I dont condone violence. But children these days dont seem to show respect and I think this is threw lack od disipline because adults are scared to do a thing!
There thats another can of worms opened!!!

mandy, how exactly is baring a childs bum in public and smacking it teaching that child respect?

(Ver confused emotion!!)

QoQ ouch and might get used to it!! lol

OP - dont ask such a contencious question and just expect people to stop posting

angeliz & marialuisa - totally agree and very well put. I hope that my ds children will also be 3rd generation non smackers.

I do not hold with your comments Mandy. My ds has just had scool report and I quote 'He is sociable and particulary enjoys being with his friends. He is kind and considerate towards their needs and would never do anything ot deliberately hurt them'. and 'he considers the consequences of words and actions for self and others. He understand what is right and wrong and why'. 'he works as part of a group or class, taking turns and sharing fairly. HE forms good relationships with adults and peers'. There is loads more and I am very proud and he is a fantastic boy and even better.. I dont smack. I do have consistency though and do answer his questions he has too cos i think his self confidence and esteem is really important and should be nutured.

Sorry but have to use [smug emocion]

opinionplease.......thanks thought this too......

kgc for risk into getting into a slanging match and also the fact i am goingot bed i was going otcheck this tomorrow but could you please give a really structured post for your views. So far you havent actually answered the responses but averted them. I dont want to be nasty at all but find it fristrating that you make staments that i think about and respond to but you cant do the same.

Off to bed now. No offense meant, tired and frustrated with the lack of clarity and direction in your posts.

nite nite

Awen no probs no slanging match at all......your post was totally justified.....my reasoning is that...we do not know this parent and do not know what day she had or how she was feeling and for her she chose to scold her child this way....and who are we to judge the way she disciplines her child....as long as...if we know they are being abused or neglected....

my children all have had excellent reports too!! I was not saying smacking etc was good bad it sup to you as an individual and no one else has a right to tell anyone of us we are wrong in what we do. I do not hold with bullying children humilliating them etc but think they need discipline!!
I have a right to my opinion!!!
I have 5 children and can take them all anywhere and hold my head high!!!

I disagree again mandy, i think if people go too far in discipline then others do have a right to intervene.
We don't own our children to do with what we want.

I find this so aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh not got the words!! Everything is taken so literally and people only read the last post (generalising) I said in a past post within reason!!!
Yes children are people in their own rights but they need to be loved nutured directed and shown right from wrong. Giving children choices is all well and good if they know the consiquenses and can cope with authority at a later stage!
Teachers, police etc have all had their 'power' taken away. Did everyone on here agree with the boy who got a huge reward for fighting against his cerfew!!! Do toy think its ok for youths to vandalise peoples properties and beat old people. Lets just have a chat with them and ask them very nicely not to do it again because that is not the way one behaves now is it!!!

mandy at your comments. Must be mistaken cos you just posted 'sup to you as an individual and no one else has a right to tell anyone of us we are wrong in what we do' then in the next post you yourself do precisely that!!
'Do toy think its ok for youths to vandalise peoples properties and beat old people. Lets just have a chat with them and ask them very nicely not to do it again because that is not the way one behaves now is it!!!' hmm so because i dont hit my child he will end up a criminal.. i think not. As I understand it the majority of those who are involved in crime do not have supportive families (am not saying all)

You appear very defensive tbh and wonder wether you actually do feel entirely comforatble with smacking. Someone close to me smacks their children as a form of discipline (generally only in extreme circumstances) but she has said to me she wished she had taken the stance I had cos once you have smacked once it is easier to use it to resolve the issue again. She is still trying to completely avoid and use other techniques. I dont think she is a bad mum and think she is pretty great actually. We dont all get it right all of the time, but just because someone chooses not to smack their child doesnt mean that their child will go off the rails. Did you not read last post were it said my ds undertand right from wrong. And yes I do discipline but I dont smack.

kgc - understand re dont know parent.

Obviously this has gone far beyond the original question in some ways. It's bound to, it's a contentious issue for some and a very emotive one for others.

I don't smack, I don't allow smacking in my home. My stance is clearly of a preference for non violent means of parenting.

I don't believe for one second that smacking in public indicates further abuse in the home. IME, people who use smacking as a form of discipline aren't all that ashamed of carrying it out in public whereas OTOH, abusers are far too devious to carry abuse out in front of others.

From a sociological POV, I think violence of any kind towards children in any place is damaging to both the individual child and the community that have to bear witness. What kind of message does it give? It infers that violence is acceptable within our society.

I personally find it abhorrent. It makes me shake and feel nauseous to see a child smacked, hit, humiliated or hurt by any other means by any adult. I find it incredulous that swearing in public is illegal, but smacking isn't...

So yes, we each have a right to 'discipline' our children as we see fit, but our (society's) children have a right to be protected from those that do not know the meaning of 'within reason'- I, amongst many other people I know don't believe anyone has the right to raise a hand to a child and more to the point, that it's entirely unnecessary.

Those of us (DH and I, our children and I'm sure, many others) that do not wish to witness draconian corpral punishment, shoudn't have to.

Awen.. who seems defensive?!! Have I said I smack or dont smack? and did I say that the only form of discipline is violence? I think not!!! Maybe you could show me some respect as a very sensible adult and stop trying to annalyse me and read between the lines!!!
Have you any teenagers? Do you like the way teenagers(genrally) behave. Do you agree with the courts just paying out that child because he thought cerfew invaded his rights? Are you against school uniform. I am taking this beyond the threads first question as I feel you have!!
I am entirely comfortable with myself and the way I discipline my children! I have a fantastic relationship with them all? I appologise if any of you take offence by what I have said, but I DO think there is a lack of discipline and authrity has no authority!!!

did not mean to implicate your parenting at all, and did assume you did smack (interestingly tho, do you?) Also not wanting this to end up a slanging match but am (for the worst part) one who likes to feel they have fully expressed themselves (basically a stubborn so and so who likes the last word )

Have you any teenagers? Nope

Do you like the way teenagers(genrally) behave. - cant comment because i think the majority are fine and that it is the minority that come to peoples attention for negative reasons.

Do you agree with the courts just paying out that child because he thought cerfew invaded his rights? Havent followed this story at all, but i do think that the general culture of courts is become a compensation money bank

Are you against school uniform? Not at all, if fact ds looks alot like just william when off to school

I am taking this beyond the threads first question as I feel you have!! - I have responded to your threads.. (and you yourself said you had opened a can of worms..)

I am entirely comfortable with myself and the way I discipline my children! Good so am I and i dont smack

Discipline does not have to be phyically instilled. Physical punishment does not give someone authority and does not automatically make them right. As the child gets older to the smacks get harder? Where is the respect here? Kids copy what they are shown (bobo doll experiement)and by using phyiscal force to make a point arent we encorouging them to do the same?

(My partner has just said that if someone smacks and leaves a mark they are a criminal. He is anti phyical punsihment btw too)

hello
where did I say dicipline has to be violent?
Actually no I dont smack...are you shocked?
I have a teenage boy and to be honest he is about a foot taller than me so I think he would just laugh at me if I tried to!!!!! I just feel that as a whole the country lacks dicipline because everyone is too afraid incase they get taken to court...for verbal or physical abuse. What authority do the police have these days. youths of today do not seem to have respect for anyone! I know this is a huge generalistion but you can see it all around!

Awen and kgc totally understand where you coming from i.e. not knowing parent