What would you think if you saw a ....

[opinionsplease]

harrassed mum pull down her dd's knickers and smack her bum in the street?

I've changed my name in case I get recognised.

Yes i am surprised but it is a good thing. I do think it is a generalisation. I agree that children need authorty and leadership and guidance as they grow. But who is to say that these children who are so out of control havent had physical punsihment at home, although more sadly it is/was used without structure or reason leading ot a complete lack of respect for authority.. ie they get hurt , they arent given a good reason for said punishment = attitude from child of sod em and we will kick back.

totally understand where you and kgc are coming from with the parent...and hope I am right in what you are saying Awen....(if I am wrong I am sorry) with if the child is smacked for the sake of it they definately will grow up with the attitude of...we will hit back????

no i didnt say that. I said that :

'it is/was used without structure or reason leading ot a complete lack of respect for authority.. ie they get hurt , they arent given a good reason for said punishment = attitude from child of sod em and we will kick back. '

imo if smacking is used (although i dont think it should be used anyway) without it being used for discipline in a clear structured manner (for example, child smacked without warning and for a seemingly minor thing like crying because they wanted sweets - normal kid reaction ime)
The the smack firstly isnt a 'last resort' and child is 'desensitised' and has no respect for parents/carers/authority iyswim.

and i dont believe in deffinates except that if there is chocolate in the cupboard it most deffinately wont be there long

Yes Awen...Sorry for misunderstanding what you said...but when you put it again...totally agree with you Awen.

Awen....chocolate cupboards..MY cupboards gone in a second!!!!!!

does chocolate make it to the cupboard?!!!!
I use time out and at the end we talk. Do you know why mummy was upset about that.
Cant say I have to use it often with little ones..
Just scream rant jump up and down and cry with older ones!!!!

mandy and ateam.

mandy i do same re time out and talk. not sure i will be able to get a 14 year old boy on bottom step tho..

i know this thread has moved on but can I just report this tale - i was in John Lewis last Saturday and saw a mum and a dad with two dds (roughly 9/10 years old). I heard the dad say (quietly and quite viciously IMO) "if you carry on behaving in this way I will pull down your pants and smack you so everyone can see your bottom"

I was and would be gutted if dh spoke to our girls like that.

His wife and dds started giggling though so they clearly didn't take him very seriously.

Enid..I said something about this earlier on. Maybe the mum had said it as a threat (not saying she is right) and hoped it would stop what she thought was inappropriate behavour,but when it didnt what was she to do? Go back on her threat and teach the child she doesnt mean what she says?

ALso Awen..no you cant get a 14 year old to sit on the bottom step..unless it had a sound system or pc next to it!!!

i find the threat more horrible coming from a man

why?

In an ideal world no-one would smack, but tbh if I thought Social Services could provide real help and support for families, then I'd be happy to report people. But as in the real world, SS can't cope with real cases of terrible abuse, the idea that they can be a constructive presence in the lives of families who are trying to do their best under stressful circumstances, is ridicilous. I wouldn't want to waste their time and workload and provide extra stress without real help to the families concerned.

I think this is where organisations like Homestart can be really helpful in providing genuine support for families, rather than just the fear of "having your kids took off you" for losing it once in public.

complimenting Awen and mandyc66 earlier comments on this thread !!!

gosh!!!
me a compliment!!!! thank you!!!!

thank you