I don't smack.
Well have once when I completely lost my rag with dd who had been playing me up all day, I had just found out my ex had drained my bank account, I had nowhere for my dd and I to sleep that night and it was cold and raining and I had spent our last £1 buying dd something to eat which she threw back at me. I smacked her as she was shouting and throwing stuff from her pram, i think I smacked her three times, the memory of it haunts me as does the memory of two women coming up to me just afterwards.
The first shouted at me and said what an awful mother I was and that I should be reported to social services and hand my daughter over to people who could care for her properly. I was absolutley distraught and felt like doing exactly as this woman had said, especially as I had just left the social services department after spending an hour begging for a crisis loan and a bed for the night for dd and myself. The woman walked off leaving me a sobing wreck with dd still screaming.
The second woman came over and asked if I was ok, and if there was anything she could do to help. She asked if I wanted to go for a coffee to which I said I had no money but it was very kind of her to ask. She took us to a cafe, fed and watered us and took us to a local Bed and Breakfast that her friend owned and talked them into letting us stay for a night or two on credit! she talked to me about her own children and how they had pushed her to the limits, that I was obviously a good mum who was struggling to cope.
I am not trying to excuse my behaviour, I was wrong and the following day I went to see my health visitor and asked for help. But it was the support from the second woman that enabled me to do this not the harsh criticism from the former.
If it is unlike your friend to smack or act in such a way, I would suggest that like me she needs help and support.
I though about changing my name for this post as I am sure that I will get lots of flack for losing it with my dd, although noone can say anything that I haven't said to myself or make me feel worse than i do about hurting my dd. I think there is a tendency on this site to present ourselves as perfect non telly watching, home baking, eternally patient creative mothers (I do it myself!) when it would really help if we admitted under our own name the mistakes we have made. I actually got upset typing this message as I remember the feelings of helplessness, fatigue and frustration that lead me to such awful actions.