What would you think if you saw a ....

[opinionsplease]

harrassed mum pull down her dd's knickers and smack her bum in the street?

I've changed my name in case I get recognised.

For English Language? Did something like that for my A'Level. Mine was a nursing practice one.. eek. Left it very much to last minute. Have another due in August tho.

LOL @ Flum

No am doing a psychology degree, this year is child development.

But now I think about it I did a very similar essay for my A Level english language, but that was about fifteen years ago I would hope research has moved on from there.

I got a few psychology books here if you want me to look up anything. Old version of Gross. Also Psychology for You - Cullis et al 2002 and angles on pychological research russell et al 2001. Also i have Athens account so can try there if you like.

mandy if you read the whole thread you'll see that some of us are thinking poor woman.

Fab book is counselling for toads on a psychology and personal front.

Mandy - but i was a heartless moo that jumped on my high horse and started beting hell out of the woman without thinking longer. I am of course anti violence as you will see from my threads

tee hee

'beating'

Awen was it just me or was that episode of BB really hilarious?

I think they all need therapy.

The best bit was major argument going on and Eugene wandering past with a hose pipe.

Or it could be my easily amused mind.

Could be me that needs therapy?

Isnt Derek a clever wee snake in the grass too! He has everyone where he wants them!

And sciences comment to craig about shaving his head, boo hoo tears and foot massage!

But crazy as Science is i'd class him as the most grounded person in the house?!?!?!?!?!

That is saying something.

I hate any form of violence and include smacking in that!

Whilst there is a bit of me that thinks 'stressed mum - overload' there is a more logical bit of me that thinks 'someone who pulls down knickers in the street to smack when they lose it are likely to be even worse when its not it public'.

So I suppose that's what worries me - someone who smacks so blatently and with a humiliating twist in public is likely to be adminsitering much worse punishments behind closed doors. On that basis all sympathies lie with the child.

It is not sexual abuse IME but it is abuse. I'd be having a very serious chat with her if she was my friend and if I didn;t like the answers I would report her to SS or NSPCC.

And to all those who say 'OH you shouldn't judge' well actually we should judge. IMHO that's what has gone wrong with society, there have been far too few people willing to stick their hands up and say 'that was a step too far'!

good post soapbox. Well worded.

Thanks awen, I may be contacting you!

I also have an athens account through the Open University and am going to work in the local college library so will have access to other books, although the OU likes us to stick to their materials.

Once again, thankyou

soapbox its not as though she'd have planned to put on such a public performance. Her dd irritated her at that moment and she reacted at that moment.

I think the problem with society is that we are too judgemental, freaking out over anyone doing anything that we don't agree with.

only OU one i have is Mental Health Matters. The other 2 are Nelson Thornes. Happy to help if you like

Would you have judged me soapbox? Not wanting to start a row, although it would be a good essay avoidance technique.

I just think that judging me would not have helped. It would have pushed me further into a cycle of despair or sent me into hiding rather than getting help.

THanks to the help I got I am now a very good parent and have used my experiences to help other parents going through similar difficulties. But I wouldn't have got to the very fortunate position I am in now if people had judged, criticised and involved social services. Instead I received supportive constructive advice.

Not sure Fran about society being too freaked out. I think people may actually be de-sensitised to violence to an extent but that is a whole other can of worms. It wasnt that many years ago doctors would provide men with suitable sticks to beat their wives with.. that is totally non acceptable now. why are children afforded the same basic human rights and dignity as adults? By ensuring ds understand that violence does not mean 'you win an argument' ie daddy smacking him so therefore daddy is right, as he grows up i would hope that he would seek more peaceful resolution t conflict. Ds told me today that a little girl in his class (reception class) said her daddy told her he would rip the head off another little boy in the school! Ds very upset by it. Obviously ds wont be going around their house.

Fran I disagree totally!

As adults we deplore loss of control in our children aka temper tantrums - are you really saying that temper tantrums in adults are ok - but they are not in children, because that sounds exactly what you are describing.

As soon as smacking (aka hitting - aka violence) enters as an option then people will use it when they lose control.

I find loss of control as an adult absolutely abhorent and have no desire whatsoever to indulge it - no matter how unpopular my views may be!

Twinset - get on with your essay girl! btw why the strange nickname? We have set up an 'I need therapy thread' if you want to talk about it

because I have quite a prim and proper side to me, and used to wear a lot of twinsets and pearls when i was teaching and the image just struck!

you do needc our therapy thread.. pearls?? NOOOOOO are you going ot be a social worker when you qualify?

TWaP - I would like to think I would have been your second encounter

I have actually gone up to a very harrassed lloking mum in a supermarket who had a loudly shrieking and out of control child and asked if she needed any help. Tne child was autistic and mum was feeling pretty tested. She was at the checkout at this point and so I loaded all her shopping onto the conveyor belt and stayed to pack it all for her. So I suppose I would say that I try to be understanding. However, if she had just belted him one for being a difficult, then I would have found that very different indeed. I'm not sure what I would have doen TBH, but I suspect I would have taken it very seriously indeed!

I think whatever your feelings about smacking, pulling pants down and smacking was a widely accepted thing parents did to children when they were naughty. Perhaps this woman had this punishment herself as a child, and the smacking has not left her feeling permanently scarred as an adult. This could make public smacking seem more harmless to her - even if she, as a good parent, wouldn't do it 99% of the time.

I was smacked as a child (a few times lightly) and it left not lasting impression on me. My dh was smacked as a child (more than a few times) and it left a much bigger impression on him.