The Funny Things toddlers do - a top ten!

[SantaLucia]

For a bit of light relief on a cold day. Please enter here the stupidest/funniest/craziest thing your dc has ever done.

Its ok to include accidents that shouldn't have been funny but were.

[mumoffourgirls]

Mummy has a big hairy bum.... While in public toilets

[blue22]

Please keep these coming - I'm crying with laughter. My DD is only 11 months old so can't contribute yet - but getting excited about all this stuff already!

[Dysgu]

It is always lovely when this thread reappears.

DD2 (who is now old enough at 19 months to do stuff worth listing) is a real little organiser. She especially loves to help her big sister (now 3.11 years) - to such a degree that I found them in the bathroom the other day, DD2 was wiping DD1's bottom after she had been on the toilet!

DD2 (being brown eyed and blonde curls) gets LOTS of attention from 'old dears' whenever we are out. They come close, hoping for a smile and she shares her favourite new word: Bye Bye! Of course, they just think that makes her even cuter (cos they never have to put her to bed at night...)

[pigleychez]

Few months ago we took DD (2yrs) to a friends wedding. As the bride walks down the isle she shouts "Zoe's pretty dress" which was cute and raised a few smiles, but after she said her vows, DD says "Good girl". It was hilarious and had everyone chuckling

[asbolutelyfabulous]

Years ago, when my little sister was maybe 6 or 7 (not a toddler, I know) made my mum a book of vouchers for her birthday - 25% off the usual price of 50p for doing the dishes, valid Mon-Fri, 50% off cleaning her room, will put her laundry in the laundry basket once, FREE, and other similar vouchers. Genius.

[dexifehatz]

lastyearsmodel - LOL :D

[MamaLaMoo]

DD 1yr 9mo, cannot pronounce 's' very well, comes out as 'sh' so we have the following gems, "{DD} shit on towel" and "{DD} shitting on chair, mummy shit chair too?".

She is also getting very particular about things being clean, woke up two days ago and announced, "mummy, windows bit dirty" as I pulled open the curtains. Also checks the swing on the nearby playground each time we go and solemnly announces "no bird poo" before she will get on.

Husband has unhelpfully referred to a particularly odd looking fisher price little person with glasses and curly hair as "the unabomber" ... Oobomber now lives in plastic house with Baby, Mummy and Daddy and a little Winnie the Pooh called Poo Bum.

[phdlife]

oh, this is good.

my two (3.4 and 16m) are doing loads atm but the only one that springs to my swiss-cheese mind is 16m dd.

In the middle of her 3am bf, she suddenly opens her eyes, pops off, pats me on the shoulder, and says, "mama? hallo! good geel!" Closes her eyes and is asleep like * that.

[MummyAbroad]

Great thread, have had to go get a tissue twice to wipe the tears away!

I am TTC number two at the moment, and have got to that stage where I am buying ovulation and pregnancy tests in bulk from Amazon. Last week I found DS (2.6) crouching over a plastic tea cup pretending to wee (with sound effects: "shhhhhh") then he dipped a used test stick in it and held it up high to squint at it!

I think its time I started closing the bathroom door...

[otchayaniye]

we were all having dinner and I'd put some Wagner on (yes, I'm a ponce) and my 22 month old daughter said: "I don't like this, I wanna put on Bill Withers".

[bmalex365]

Is that wagner off of the X FACTOR,LOL. vargner vagner wagner, whats he called louis???? Thats a question from my 14 year old DD

[ProcessYellowC]

This morning, 2.5 y old DS, in his sleep,
"Traction engine CRASH. Traction engine fall over in the grass. Oh noo"

Me, pretty much still asleep,
"oh dear, will a cuddle help save the traction engine"

"yes"

If I invite him to help me, like carrying a shopping bag he'll be very pleased with me;
"ohhh, FANG koo"

[purplepidjbauble]

Dneph, 3.2, has found his first joke. Everytime his mum rings us, he tells us the pig jumped over the moon!

Apparently, he has now got a toy telephone, which he uses to ring Aunty and Uncle Pidj... BLESS!!!

PS, I'm not a mum, and DNiece and Nephew are technically inlaws. I've only been an aunty for a year

[Rowgtfc72]

dd,3.9,Favourite food is bollockanasie.
Waking up from a bad dream-"my foot is eating my tummy.Make it stop" When asked to take her feet off the settee "my foot is not your friend anymore" Sat in the loos in Tesco" mummy,that lady next door is having a big poo.Can you hear it" we left pretty quickly!

[badcoverversion]

A couple of weeks ago we were in Morrissons and some middle-aged lady managed to topple an entire tower of Wolf Blass red all over herself! Naturally myself and my OH went to get a butchers at the carnage...and as we're having a good old goggle at poor vino-covered lady (smelling suitably christmassy)...my 2.9yo DS sat in the shopping trolley, taps a big strapping bloke stood next to us and says "Excuse me big Mister...what the hecks just happened?" The guy cracked up laughing.

He was also 'sofa surfing' the other day...I asked him to be careful and he responded "don't worry my sweetheart...great care I will take" like some 18th century Yoda.

We also had the "oh Mummy you're such a clever girl" head pat rigmarole when I was wrapping our Christmas presents yesterday. He was even standing over me whilst I was biting the sellotape and applauding and saying "oh very good, you're so good at this Mummy, well done!"