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Original poster

The Funny Things toddlers do - a top ten!

216 replies

SantaLucia · 09/12/2008 08:41

For a bit of light relief on a cold day. Please enter here the stupidest/funniest/craziest thing your dc has ever done.

Its ok to include accidents that shouldn't have been funny but were.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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noonki · 09/12/2008 22:13

My DSS called everyone with long hair 'lady' (even if they had a beard)

CrackopentheBaileys · 09/12/2008 22:18

pmsl at straw in potty!
My brother also took his pooey nappy off (back in the 80's!) whist in his cot and proceeded to paint his cot with it. My mum say's it ws in his ears, nose, belly button the works. On the upside the wall had a new lovely 'tribal' mural.
Not sure what this say's about Mum's parenting skills

merrykittymas · 09/12/2008 22:25

DD2 is always different animals

me "DD2 come and get your lunch"
DD2 "I'm not DD2 I'm a rafe" (giraffe)
me "giraffe come and eat your lunch"
DD2 "I'm not a giraffe I'm a panda"

then she's walking about with my washing basket at her bum swaying singing look I'm a peacock

or we have the sock or hairbrush between the legs singing "I've got a winky"

junkcollector · 09/12/2008 23:13

Ds 2 (18 months) shows man on the train his foot.

Man on train looks perplexed at DS2

DS2 more insistently shows man on the train his foot

Man on train smiles in a 'go away baby' kind of way

DS2 (very insistent now) shows man on the train his foot.

Man on the train show DS2 his foot

DS2 smiles, sits down and looks out of the window.

strawberrycornetto · 10/12/2008 00:12

DD, at 3 and 3/4s had developed sarcasm. MIL was telling her a very long story about a sheep. DD looked up at her and said, very slowly and grown up, "oh granny, you are sooooo interesting!!!" DH and I were in stitches and MIL was v .

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 10/12/2008 00:20

oh just remembered another one, was sitting with a group of mums chatting, while our little ones played happily. we were discussing something on tv, some actor but we couldn't remember his name, when ds, (2 yrs 4 months at the time) from the other side of the room, without looking up from his toy helicopter, calmly announced

"mummy, just look it up on tinternet" (very Peter Kay)

can you tell his dad is in IT?

DippyDino · 10/12/2008 11:52

Dd 2.8 years insists on using her toy recorder as a tongue depressor, makes you say 'ahhh,' and after making you nearly choke on the bloomin thing says 'ah yes, very inter-westing, you have reindeer cough I fink'
Then toddles off.
Makes me chuckle.

Oh and loves to announce that she can 'hear mummy's wee wee sound' in public loos. But then I am an accomplished tinkler

Dibsie · 10/12/2008 11:54

DS seems to be obsessed with my age. He told anyone who would listen how old I was on my birthday. Then when a clown at our carnival asked if mummy was 21 he told him 'no she's 44!' in a very loud voice

tinseltwiddler · 10/12/2008 11:55

Conversation between DD (2) and nursery nurse?
nn Have you got any pets?
dd Looks puzzled.
nn Have you got a dog?
dd No.
nn Have you got a cat?
dd No.
nn What about a hamster or a goldfish?
dd I'm got fish fingers in my house.

Yes, we keep them in a tank and feed them breadcrumbs

TeenyTinyTorya · 10/12/2008 12:04

Ds (nearly 21 mths) cuddles me very tight and gives me loads of slobbery kisses whenever he doesn't want to go to bed. Cuteness keeps him up five minutes later!

Also grabs my mike whenever it's lying around and sings into it quite tunefully.

He drags his baby doll round with him, and makes it sit on a shoe and says "pot pot".

He also draws very detailed pictures which look like a ball of wool after a fight with a cat, then points at them and says "Daddy".

Oh, and he's convinced that his name is "Titch" and no-one can tell him different!

TeenyTinyTorya · 10/12/2008 12:05

Oh, and when the doorbell rings, he goes "shh!" and hides under the table

Dibsie · 10/12/2008 13:41

After having his flu jab my 4 year old ds told the waiting room he was never doing that again!

cmotdibbler · 10/12/2008 13:49

Ds is 2.5. He likes to be 'baby horse' and then we all have to get down on the floor and crawl around neighing. He likes to have horse shoes (imaginary) hammered onto his feet, be fed apples (and feed mummy and daddy horse apples), and to drink 'mummy horse milk' by bunting my tummy in the way of a foal.

Another one we love is him going 'I've had an idea'in a very suprised way whilst signing 'idea' and then usually requesting food.

A favourite at the moment is switching the fire on, stripping off trousers and pants, and then standing in front of the fire whilst announcing that he now has a 'hot bottom'

reindeersnake · 10/12/2008 20:45

Went out for lunch yesterday with lots of other mums and toddlers and, while I was talking, I hadn't noticed that she had stuck her straw into my red wine and was slurping it up! Bad mother award, I think.

Kitsilano · 10/12/2008 20:47

My DD1 (3.5) watching DD2 (10months) drinking from her bottle and says "Look! She's sucking off!"

And I was videoing it at the time.

EachPeachPearMum · 10/12/2008 21:07

DD (2.10) licked an apple, before announcing to us- "that ones for me later- I put my lick on it'!

CrackopentheBaileys · 10/12/2008 21:15

ahhh thats cute peach. My friend has an apple tree in the garden, and her dd (2y) is always picking one up, taking one bite then leasving them strewn around the house.

I was there in the summer and as she did this my friend chastised her 'Ellie, you must stop doing that, they don't grow on trees you know'............

Laugs · 10/12/2008 21:25

DD (2) has just decided she likes helping with the housework, which, obviously makes it take about 5 times longer than it would do normally.

She'd just helped me with the dishes (at her insistence, honest) when I asked if she'd help me to hang out the laundry.

She knelt down, picked up one item of clothing, let out a long sigh and said "all day long" in this 'a woman's work is never done' tone.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 10/12/2008 21:29

I love the way atm that ds1 checks out of the window every morning to see if Frosty Jack has been!!

apostrophe · 10/12/2008 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

frazzledali · 11/12/2008 10:08

Kitsilano...that video will be so perfect for their boyfriends coming round when they are teenagers.
Ah, I love collecting the evidence.

avp1 · 11/12/2008 14:34

ds2 (age 2y 4m going on 45), when challenged about behaving in a simian manner, fixed me with a beady eye and said in a superior manner, "I'm not a monkey, I'm a child."

ds1, when a similar age, was unable to correctly pronounce the name of the helicopter in Fireman Sam and called it 'Wobbly One' which seems rather more appropriate than the correct name of 'Wallaby One'.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 11/12/2008 14:43

DD2 (18 months) has just been sat on my lap simultaneoulsy stroking the cat and my hair saying "awww"

dd1 (5) asked the man from virgin media if he could remove all the sports channels from the tv. Daddy plays more when there is no footyball she told him.

fluffyanimal · 11/12/2008 14:46

Ds (2.9) watches far too much Roary the Racing Car so now has a tendancy to run around randomly shouting "Go on son, get in there!". I feel he just needs a can of lager in his hand to complete the picture.

He's also a big fan of the new Postman Pat series, so he likes to bring me random objects from around the house and say, "Here you are Mummy, it's your special delibbly."

Also, he has his own phrase for till operators, so he does have a habit of running up to the till in any shop shouting, "Lady Beep Beep, look what I've got!"

CatIsSleepy · 11/12/2008 14:50

my dd, 2.5, told a friend of mine recently that mummy has a 'fluffy bottom'

she also announced she didn't want to cuddle daddy because 'he's ridiculous' (pronounced 'bidiculous')

and her speciality if I'm looking a bit tired or fed up is to go 'awright poppet?' in an excellent sarf london accent