The Funny Things toddlers do - a top ten!

[SantaLucia]

For a bit of light relief on a cold day. Please enter here the stupidest/funniest/craziest thing your dc has ever done.

Its ok to include accidents that shouldn't have been funny but were.

[missorinoco]

DS "What's that noise, Mummy?"
Me "That's "
DS "What's that noise, Mummy?"
Me Same answer again
DS "What's that noise, Mummy?"
Me (Fed up) "That's you asking me what that noise is!"
DS "No, it's my bottom!"

[twirlymum]

Ds always wants me to jump on the 'tambourine' with him (trampoline, obviously!).
In the supermarket yesterday, he shouted 'mummy, look at that fat lady!' I tried my best to keep him quiet, but he shouted even louder 'MUMMY, LOOK! THAT LADY IS VERY FAT! YOU'RE NOT LOOKING MUMMY!'

[twirlymum]

Also, ds (2.6) woke up crying last week, saying that he had fizzy hands. Guess he had pins and needles!

[kitbit]

twirlymum, ds has "bees in my feet"

[Gingeme]

Ds4 2.11 watched DH getting dressed yesterday morning. Just before he put his pants on ds said 'Daddy your willy looks sad'.
On holiday we were all getting changed to go to the swimming pool and he came and tried to put Sudocrem on my nipples 'cause they look sore Mummy'.

[LissyGlitter]

DD slept in our bed after a nightmare last night. She woke me up giggling and said "I just doing little trumps mummy"

[SecretNinjaChipmunk]

whilst reading the gruffalo to ds aged nearly 2, when we got to the bit where the mouse says he's having lunch with the gruffalo ds pipes up with 'in the pub?'

the other day he took me by the hand, led me to his room, pulled out the change mat and asked me to lie down so he could change me! i thought this was a one off but apparently he did the same to my mum earlier this week.

[pigletmania]

My dd 2.6 years came into our room in the morning, pointed at her dads hairy chest and said 'garden', she then pressed his nipples and said 'press the buttons'

[Rosebud05]

"Daddy, you've got a penis AND you wear big girl knickies" said in a voice of wonderment and awe.

[cakeywakey]

Pointing at the Liverpool match on the telly today and demanding 'And I want that off'.

Singing 'Twinkle, twinkle, chocolate bar.'

Shouting 'Bum!' in a quiet point at my friend's daughter's leavers assembly.

[cakeywakey]

Meant to say, DD is only just 2

[cakeywakey]

I was also told by my 2yo DD 'Look at you Mummy, well done.' as I had a wee in a public toilet

[mumblecrumble]

Not particularly funny but meant such a lot to me:

I was leaning over the toilet scraping of a horrid clump of pooh from a true horror of a poohey nappy [rare these days as dd is pooing on the toilet] DD is 2.2

DD - is that pooey mummy
ME - yes {irritated my pooh and trying to keep dd away)
DD - thats very smelly mumm
ME - yes....
DD - is that sgusting [disgusting]?
ME - yes (now very naffed off and thinking that pampers might be the way forward..)

DD - Really really thanks you mummy.
Me ... melty melty. Makes it all worth it

[mumblecrumble]

She also sigs a lovely medley of popular kids songs:

Bar bah black sheep little star. Woosh the pider out.. really happy man!

[Lionstar]

DD 2.8 came home from nursery the other day, lifted up her t-shirt, rubbed her tummy and announced sadly 'Aron (much loved best friend) says I haven't got a soup pack'. No idea how come 2 year olds are discussing body-building, but he's right, she doesn't have a six-pack (a rather gorgeous podgy tummy actually )

[PurpleLostPrincess]

DD2 (2.2) picked up my bra as I was getting dressed this morning and told me to put my boobies on lol!

[Feierabend]

DD, about 2 1/2, pointing at DH's penis while he's having a bath: Whassat papa? Is it a banana?

[BratleyEatsBrainsForBreakfast]

DS (2.3) sings 'Oh the Grandads shoes and socks!' for grand old duke of york. Makes me every time!

'My not want to like that Mummy' whenever he doesnt want to do something.

I had another one too but I've forgotten what it was while I've been reading these!

Will be back when I remember!

These are lovely though, really made me smile.
Wish I'd written down all the funny things DS says, I forget too easily!

[Feierabend]

'I wanna need some chocolate'!

[beesonmummyshead]

dd (2.1): I want that necklace.

me: What is the magic word?

dd: ummm.......ABRACADABRA!

[letsblowthistacostand]

DD1 had a froggy throat one morning when she was 2.5.

Me: You've got a frog in your throat.
DD1: Get it out! Get it out!

Last xmas we did the whole Father Christmas thing, told DD1 that FC was going to come to the house with lots of presents etc. A few days before xmas, UPS brought some big boxes & left them on the porch. DD1 ran to the door as the UPS guy was leaving and shouted "Thank you Father Christmas!!!"

DD1(3.4) & DD2(15mos) having bath together. DD2 tries to get a toy (DD1 has ALL the toys.)

DD2:
DD1: Not so fast, little one.

[FairyLightsForever]

DD at 2.3, walking around the Botanic gardens calling "Misser Squirrel, Misser Squirrel, where are you? (name) give you huggy!" in a sing-song voice, with her arms outstretched.

The squirrels were really quite tame too, so she had to be held back from actually trying to hug them!

[Feierabend]

DD1 got all excited about our summer holiday this year but didn't really understand what a 'holiday' was supposed to be. She thought it was a place, so every time we pulled up at a service station she shouted from the back seat: 'Is this the holiday?'

Then later she thought holiday = beach so every evening when we left the beach she waved at the sea and said 'Bye bye holiday, see you morrow'.

[Mumfee]

My 2yo daughter recently went to Australia for the first time to see family. My parents met our 5am flight and when we got home my darling conducted her grand tour of Nan and 'Cars' house. Each room past inspection until we came to the bedroom and the bed that was unmade as it was vacated at 4am was met with a tut and "oh dear". Not a phrase she has used before but hilarious! After making her disapproval known, she continued on her way...

[Stayingscarygirl]

Aged just over 2, ds1 stood up in the back of the double buggy, whipped his trousers down, and announced in ringing tones; "My wee-wee is UP!!" Dh and the boys were waiting for me outside the changing rooms in Evans at the time.

I decided this was definitely something for daddy to deal with, and ran away to the till to pay for my clothes, whilst dh dealt with ds1 waving his erection round.