Can I have the views of other parents on this situation please

[thefatfairy]

my dd 2.6 was punched deliberately by another child. my dh witnessed this and told the other child off for hitting our daughter. Next thing i know childs mum is shouting at me and dh for telling her child off and saying that we had ruined his day. She was not supervising her child at the time and did not see what happened. We were at an indoor play area, full of other children when she approached me and dh.

mumofhelen, where on earth does it say that we were pleased about it?

Yes, I have that with children who aren't mine and who I tell off, they bhang around me. I think it is because they feel at least I care enough to say something. Children need discipline, it makes them feel safe because there are boundaries and alot of these kids I see don't get discipline. They get a shouting at etc at completely inappropriate times but are not disciplined for things like pushing someone down the stairs.

I also think that this attitude that no-one else can tell my child off except me, leads to obnoxious teenagers who really feel outraged if an adult remonstrates with them about anti-social behaviour.

it's ok to ask another child to stop doing something, but the telling off business is for the parent imo, he should have gone to find her

its a very difficult situation to be honest, on the one hand I would want to tell a child off who had deliberately hit one of my children but on the other hand I would not be happy if another adult told one of my children off and didnt talk to me, but then I would be mortified if I saw my child hitting or punching another smaller child, some parents are simply not bothered about this sort of behaviour often the sort that leave their children unsupervised in these sort of places.

I think the OP's dh did the right thing and would do the same myself.

Also agree witrh Caroligula's point re anti-social teenagers

There's a lot of nutters about. I wouldn't take toddlers to indoor play areas unless able to crawl about with them at all times 'cause chances are they will be pole-axed or pushed or shouted at by bigger kids. That's what these places are like.

I agree with the point that adults should be able to tell off another's naughty child. But on the other hand, I bet no one here would think it ok if their child was told off and upset.

wow i really didn't think that this would cause such a debate.

DH would have approached mum had she been about to discuss it with. Mum had to ask someone else who had told her son off, wouldn't mind but she started on me and it was dh.

If my nearly 4 year old had battered a little girl repeatedly around the head, I would be quite satisfied if he got told off until he was visibly upset. he may then think twice about doing it again, whether I am watching ior not!

I too have said that if my kid had done something like that then they would deserve to be told off.

Absolutely agree colditz

Who was battered repeatedly around the head?

If dd was in the wrong and got told off by another adult that would be okay with me.

I am a little stunned that some people just let let children run free at the these places. The one we go to is not supervised by staff and unless the children are watched by their parents/careers they run wild.

DD is only 2.6 and whilst she likes her independance imo she is too young to be running around without being watched. My 4 year old mindee is also watched at all times.

Maybe opening a can of worms with the next bit ...................

This whole attitude of my child can do no wrong and they would never do anything like that is what is wrong with the world today. People shouldn't have children if they are not prepared to supervise and displine them.

I don't think anyone has said that their child can do no wrong, fatfairy

not saying that they had zookeeper was referring to the parents at the soft play areas.

thefatfairy, it sounds as though your dh did what I would probably have done in similar circs...it is just one of those things, that the other parent didnt see eye to eye with you.

think it much depends who y oua re and where you go

in some placs its easier to say 'there, there' to your kid than getting a new arsehole from irate mother of bully kid.

so tackling parents about bolshy toddlers is sometimes a very brave step. as most parents are not the mnet utopian ideal. and are not as reasonable and sesible as we obviously are.

some parents will punch your lights out if you dare mention it.

If you don't see your child doing it then you can't really tell them off, until someone draws your attention to it.

have to say though I watch my kids and don't let them hurt anyone I tend towards the coffee-guzzling chatting mum - I find those mums who shadow their children incessantly and unneccessarily really irritating and precious

(runs for cover)

I once stopped a child from kicking my daughter and asked one of the playworkers (it's a drop-in but parents/carers have to stay and supervise their own children) to intervene..she drew the mother's attention to it who then tried to wallop her son - she was told there was a No Violence policy there and she should just explain it to him too.

please don't get me wrong I do not follow dd around with cotton wool, i sit in the parent area, with a drink (and sometimes a cake) but I am watching. if dd hit someone i would be mortified a very apologetic.