I just want to kill him today

[Fifyfomum]

I am so annoyed with my son, he is 3.8 and has shown absolutely no sign of 'wanting to potty train' which EVERYBODY told me would 'happen naturally' when he turned three.

He is now sat on the potty, he has been there for around an hour and it looks like he will be there for an hour more. Every time he stands up he cries because he is busting for the loo and I sit him back down again but he refuses REFUSES to wee on the potty.

I need to potty train him before school it is getting RIDICULOUS and when I talk to him now he is putting on this 'baby' voice and sticking his tongue out around his teeth so he can't talk properly and I am SO ANGRY with him.

Why WHY won't he just use the potty? All his friends at nursery use the potty, he knows what to do because we have been going through this ridiculous process day after day trying to get him to bloody urinate out of a nappy.

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

Wow

Another fuck off.

Nice.

I'm with Pointeshoes... Wow again.

Fify - this ain't going to end well. I suggest you take all the info and advice that these good Mnetters have given you, and work with it.

You've obviously had some success based on what's been advised, but your language and attitude are beyond civilised.

I worry for you and your son. Good luck with it all.

I'm off....

OP, Eyelet... It's like your children genuinely want to upset you (the example you give, eyelet, of your child squatting down, doing a poo and then smiling at you and walking off, for example). They want to assert some control over you, in a negative way.

They are essentially putting their middle finger up at you.

I wonder why? Could it perhaps be because they don't have a good relationship with you? They sense you don't think much of them, so you know what, they're going to irritate the hell out of you.

I would say the issue goes far far deeper than just potty training. My gies is that when these children 'get' it, there will be some other issue where you perceive them to be complete fuck ups.

Agree with Greythorne. You seem to expect very high standards of behaviour from everyone around you, IRL or online (getting aggressive with posters who don't know something's been mentioned already). Yet you can behave as badly as you like, and everyone is supposed to play nice and make excuses for you. Pathetic and deeply unpleasant.

Please take it as read that I know you'll tell me to fuck off. I don't care. But do it if it makes you feel pathetically better. Rather me than your son.

thanks Jelly and Brucie, sorry not to reply earlier, posted then spent the day out. I have a terrifyingly headstrong 17mo and am planning my attack already

They will all do it when they are ready. If you upset/stress them (or get too impatient or rude or shouty) it will all go so very wrong. As someone posted way earlier, there are so many other things to worry about. Poo and wee eventually always ends up in the toilet. Night times will eventually be dry. Everyone gets there in the end. Be patient and don't judge your child by another. Please do not compare - children are all very different.
And yes, I've found the OP to be really quite rude and abusive. I don't think anyone can be that rude here and it not translate into real life. You are what you are.

I am both mostly a nice person and really shouty and sweary and rude when frustrated and stressed. I don't think anyone is one thing. And DD crying herself silly drives me mental, especially when I'm very tired because she wakes up at fucking 5am and then cries because she's exhausted - I can't imagine how raging I would be after weeks or months of her pooing her pants to annoy me. Despite this I have been described as a good and relaxed mother on the whole. I don't find it difficult to imagine the OP is too. She is angry because she cares, surely.

Yes I am frequently described as a mother 'in control' and other such things, when you are freaking out it it really surreal to have people say things like that to you.

Well it's the end of the day, son has not only pissed in the loo and done a shit in the potty, he also came down OF HIS OWN accord and did a piss in the potty on his own!!!!

Amazing! I went out to have a coffee with a friend and that is what he'd done. So pleased what a brilliant kid he is :)

He is just coming down to say goodnight to me and I am going to tell him how proud I am of him

It is impossible for someone to be this vile and aggressive on an online forum and for it not to spill over into everyday life. Yeah I know you'll claim you're only 'venting' here.

Yeah I know, fuck off you don't give a shit right?

I have read this thread open mouthed. Let me tell you something-yes, professionals involved with you would absolutely judge you on the thoughts you have expressed here. Venting is one thing. Saying you want to kill your child and using vile horrible language about him is another. You may be reasonable in other aspects of your parenting but these words reveal how you feel about your son underneath. Would you allow anyone else to speak like that about him?
I hope the people involved with you realise what you are really like and take some action to protect your son.
Now go on, do your worst. I am a grown up and I would much rather your vileness was directed at me.

because I WILL NOT let that stress impact on him right now

I suspect your ds is stressed, your threads under your current and previous
nn's portray a less than calm household.

How's the rescue dog coping with your anger issues, they are intuitive creatures, aren't they?

I'm not really interested in talking to people who aren't interested in talking about potty training

I keep coming back to this and I have never heard anyone describe their child in this way, even on their worse days.

OP I hate to say it, but you sound abusive.

I feel sorry for your child and if this was not an anonymous forum I'd report you to SS.

fify I've just rtft.

Never potty trained before so no advice but it sounds like you are making progress so well done there.

Just wanted to say thanks to your for giving me a laugh and brightening my very shitty day. Cos I get it. The swearing, type shouting, aggression, I get it and I sympathise. And funnily enough i am capable of distinguishing someone venting on a forum and how they might act towards their three year old.

Anyway just wanted to throw my 2p in for not criticising your posting.

He has made some good progress today- hope it continues.

36 hours of frothy ranting about her 3.8 year old ds who was incapable of weeing and pooing in the pot or toilet.

Now, he's cracked it.

The power of Mumsnet

The rescue dog also got with the program PDQ I seem to recall

S' ok fify tis apparently because we have a poor relationship with them in general

Mine didn't have the success you have, I think 'most' children do get there in their own time, but I think there are times when as parents we do have to say enough is enough and teach new skills.

OP, do you think you're controlling with your children in general? do you think there's anything to the thought that your son's defiance here is an expression of something he has no other means (ie no power or control) to express elsewhere?

Fify are you involving your younger DS in the process? I know he is still only young, but him seeing the process might help when he is ready to train.

If he is curious, let him have a go. Might make things a bit less stressful for the second time round.

As for oldest DS, focus on the praise, ignore to negative. If he wee's or poo's get him to help clean it up, but don't tell him off or shout at him for it. If there is no reaction, there is no incentive if you get my meaning.

The majority don't have a problem with employing pretty strict tactics for potty training an almost 4 year old.

It was the venom and language that has been displayed that most people ate open mouthed at. You can defend it all you like, but most parents do not, even in their most stressed states, even think the kind of poisonous stuff that has been said on this thread, about very young children regarding quite a significant issue for them.

It's been upsetting to read. And all this, I'm just venting, is just an excuse.