Terrible Twos!!! Feel like calling in Supper Nanny????!!

[Reece]

Ds (2.8) has been difficult since DS2 came along 16 months ago but in the last month his tantrums,tears and stubborness have esculated big time.

Typical morning before 9am - Jumps out cot (refuses to sleep in bed)refuses to use potty, refuses to take off pull-up and PJ's. When downstairs asks for weetabix, serve him with warm milk as asked and then refuses to eat it saying that he wants Special K instead. I say no because he had asked for Weetabix. He then proceeds to throw entire bowl of Weetabix on the floor and rant about Special K. I don't give in and try hard to ignore his tantrum. Still won't use potty, demands TV, I refuse until he uses potty and helps to get dressed and washed etc. He continues to rant and rave for 20 + mins. At this stage we are running late for playschool and DS2 is not washed and dressed etc etc.

I expect there are many of you out there that think this is just intermediate stuff but I just need some guidance on how to deal with it.. I feel myself raging inside but know that will make things worse. He is pushing and pushing me and I know I will burst at some stage.

Last night he refused to stay in his room, kept jumping out of the cot for about 2 hours screaming. He was running all over the house upstairs going through my room etc. I tried the quietly placing him back in bed again and again method (don't know what it's called) but he kept waking DS2. DH and I ended up giving up and going downstairs to leave him to it. i feel like locking him in his room.

How long does the terrible 2's last for? Do they have terrible 3's as well??? Parenting is extremely tiring and frustrating at the moment. I am not enjoying him and can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Help!!

Grrrrr . So far DS has managed to have a tantrum about every single thing -using the potty, breakfast, getting dressed - you name it. Taking him to the shops now and not bringing pushchair so hopefully the walk from the car park and round the shoiping centre will knacker him out for the afternoon. I think DS is pissed off 'cs DH left before he woke up. Hope you are having a better morning Reece.

oh Mummyluvsyoo - sorry you didn't have a great morning. How did the walk go?

DS had a few tantrums over trivial things as well this morning. He has also been having a few accidents. His bad behaviour/moods need to always coincide with his accidents. They must be linked.

He is watching Tom & Jerry now so I'm having a rest

oh Mummyluvsyoo - sorry you didn't have a great morning. How did the walk go?

DS had a few tantrums over trivial things as well this morning. He has also been having a few accidents. His bad behaviour/moods need to always coincide with his accidents. They must be linked.

He is watching Tom & Jerry now so I'm having a rest

Hia everyone!

My twins were relatively dry at night before I potty trained them, and I had no problem when the time came for 'no nappy' (we were house bound at the time with 'nits') I won't bore you with success stories, but its the only thing all 3 kiddies have adjusted to really well. (I must be doing something right)

The rest of my life is (sorry) CRAP! twin 1 ds drives me insane with his screaming and tantrums.

I am about to go to the doctors to get something to calm me down, I just don't feel in control, am so down, that the pit seems very dark, lonely and long! I have never been this desparate before, I think its the most responsible thing I can do at the moment, I just need to keep my chin above water to cope with the twins, anything sets me off crying, I need to be happy for the kids sake.

Reading this thread has helped alot, I know I'm not the only one, and I get 10 minutes away from the kiddies! but that pit seems endless!

Sorry ladies I have nobody to moan to, everybody else I know are caught up in their own problems at the moment!

Oh Sleepysooz I was feeling exactly the same as couple of weeks ago. I just seemed to hit a wall and end up looking into the same pit as you are looking into right now

Believe me it will pass. I get these phases every now and again (more often just recently) and I cry over the slightest thing etc. I was very close to going to the doctors as well to talk about why I was feeling so down and what could be causing it etc. I guess a lot of mums go through it at some stage.

Parenting can sometimes be a lonely and isolated time of our lives and if you are anything like me (no family support as living away from home and I like company) you will get your phases of down time.

I wish I could cheer you up but I am crap at jokes!

What helped me to pull myself out of it was talking to DH about how I was feeling and him actually listening for once. Also fresh air works wonders. Even a ten minute walk lifts my spirit.

Hope you feel better soon. Chin up.
btw you can always come on line and post me when if you are feeling crappy.

Hey sleepysooz how are you feeling today? Hope your spirits have lifted.

My Ds has been lovely today . It's days like today that I have to remember when he is driving me up the wall on others.

He has not thrown a single tantrum, just whinged and cried a few times and then gave up. He has actually been a pleasure. No attacks on DS2 either .

The discipline techniques mist be paying off.

Just thinking - Now I am posting how good he has been I will be jinxed tomorrow and he will be a rotter!

Both boys are fast alseep. DH is away in London at a party so I have the tv/dvd and munchies all to myself .

Hia, thanks reece, not feeling tooooo bad.

Went visiting family, and it was awful, then the journey home was: my want shops, I said there arn't any here, then we ignored him screaming my want shops, ds then on with, my want cake, again we said we havent got any cake, then ignored screaming, then ds screaming my want pub! my want park! my want, my want, my wants carried on for an hour, each time giving him an answer, but he wasn't happy with any answers, but ignoring his screams made him think of something else, all the way home, aaaaaaaaaaaaah

A whole 2 hours of that behaviour, no wonder I'm going nuts, luckily we had visitors when we got home and that took his mind off his tantrums, (for 1 hour anyway)

Then it started all over again, I had to retreat upstairs, left them all downstairs with dh.

God knows what I'm going to do when he goes back to work on monday, I think I'll flip!

I have the same problem as you, with wanting something then changing his mind, gosh don't you need patience, I tell you, you need the patience of pope benedict 16th

Well I'm off to sleep now, hope tomorrow gets better, or that doctors appointment is going to be an emergency not a 2week routine waiting appointment! I do manage better if someone is with me, its just when I'm on mi tod with twins! its hell!!!!!!

Sorry moaning lately, you've got enough on your plate.

If it makes you feel better you can moan all you like sleepysooz.

I really don't know how you do it with twins but I suppose its like anything, you just get on with it and get though the tough times. Have you tried looking at some of the threads for parents with twins/multiple births etc.? I think the people on there would understand your situation more and just how hard it is. I have read some of them and I know a lot of the parents feel just like you do. Don't by any means want you to leave this thread though so keep posting please

I sometimes feel like I have twins even tough they are 16mths apart but I am sure that age gap is a million miles away from what you are dealing with.

Keep the chin up I think you need deserve a break away from kids and DH! A little pampering goes a long way.

Hia! just been to Asda alllllll by myself!!!!!!!
soooooo much easier than fighting with who wants what and the thomas ride and mcdonalds on the way out!

Strange though, it felt as if I was walking round by myself, everything was a fuz, and the music made me cry, AGAIN! soppy sod!

Well home now to DH chopping the plum tree down cause of the wasps and flies! kids watching eldest with his train set so all is quiet on the western front, thank god!

Thanks for your support reece, I will have to check the twins threads out, I havent found them yet. I did check in on a thread about phsycomum? she's having it rough so I think I will have to have a good day today, and thank my lucky stars I'm not as down as she is, funny there is always someone worse off than yourself! so chin up sooz and shake a leg!

I think this thread is the longest I have seen, so I will be here forever I think, as long as you are reece.

Actually I havent got to grips with MN at all yet I have to keep going into my e-mail to get on, I am computer illiterate! I still havent worked out how to start a thread either. I have posted loads though, so lets keep this one rolling reece. And cheers again for your support

Sorry, How are you and your kiddies, potty training going alright?

your 16m apart is as difficult as my twins, don't forget mine are nearly 3 in october, so they can keep themselves occupied on a good day, I just have to feed and play with them! (on one of my good days)

Its just me thats grumpy (yes I know they don't help with their demands) I am trying to tell myself its not the twins, its me that must learn to cope better, but its harder than it sounds.

There I go again, I meant to support you on this post, sorry! I think I am going to just try and laugh, then everybody should start laughing, then laughing for real will appear!

Yes I'm off mi rocker! nuts! and sloverigoklinglosherpoxy (don't ask)

sleepysooz - when I said a break I meant a relaxing pamering mummy time break, not Asda!!!!

My DH was away from Sat lunchtime until 4pm today and I was needing a break before he went! My parents are over this week for 5 days so I am looking forward to the adult company,chat etc.

I am also thinking (unbeknown to DH) of organising a girlie night or 2 away in a hotel with a spa and a bar!!!!. You really do need a lift now and then to help you carry on.

Btw you are doing fine with MN. To start a new thread you can search by topic (click on this at the top of the page) and then start new conversation. If you want to start a new thread in the same topic you are reading/posting in you can just click on 'create new conversation' at the top of the thread. Hope that makes sense

I will keep rolling for quite some while on this thread and if anyone disappears for a while you can always search their nickname to say hello wherever they are posting.

PT is going ok. Having to use bribes again
Ds's are great. Had a pretty good day. Happy to see their Daddy home to.

My 17mth old is a diamond. So well behaved (for now) so it's really just DS1 that causes difficulty and that can be put down to his age. The stressful moments are when DS2 wants feeding r is tired etc. and wwants holding all the time. This makes DS1 jealous and he starts throwing tantrums about everything.

Gosh I'm babbling. Sorry.

Whats sloverigoklinglosherpoxy????

FOM - How are you?

Hia reece! great your folks are over to stay, how lovely! yes girls break sounds brill.

I'm affraid my break as Asda was in a way brill, even though I was away with the fairies at the time, I don't get to shop by myself cause mi dh loves to go, then everone has to go, cause I don't like being left home alone with kid's, AGAIN!

You may as well have twins, there isn't much age difference in the boys, I know what you mean about the jealousy thing, I always say, I have 2 knees, then the twins sit nice having a story or a sing song.

And that stupid word was me losing it! but I feel brill today, I have found a spiritual thread, I think I needed a bit of guidance, going off track a bit, frustrations of not being able to go to church, my twins treat it like a playground and run round the choir stalls and generally try to take the sermon anyway I'll leave that part of my character to the spiritual thread, its a different problem, although they compliment each other nicely!

Sorry gotta go I've just ran over ds2 finger with my chair!

Hello Reece
How are things going at the moment?
I have read the first half of this thread, with interst.
Have even laughed ! - in kind of agreement and sympathy.
Will have to read other half later.

We are going through everything you are.
And the same as a lot of other posters too.
DS 2.7
The weetabix, the no no no'ing.The whining.
Refusing to do anything.
Major tantrum and food throwing whilst on day out with daddy - ruined - and we all returned home in silence.
We had already taken away dvd's and tv time - with no effect.
We were mid decorating, on the day of the ruined day out,and on return, in anger, dh cleared the lounge ( which had to be done, at some point) so ds had no toys no books, no nothing.
Bike and bedtime story was taken away.
I was kicked and hurt.
I smacked three times, in a week, on the bottom, for this reason.
Never having had to smack before.

Started being minorly difficulet at nursery ( 2 1/2 days a week)

Finally, Mr dog was taken away. This was MAJOR.

To no avail.
What-so-ever.

Was at my wits end.
Had already lost it many times.
Had screamed at him " you're driving me f**king nuts".
Bad mothering, I'm afraid.

Despair.

My mum said ignore bad, praise good.
Dh and I talked about it... AGAIN for the zillionth time.
Realised , he was actually getting a lot of attention for negative things.

Decided to go with my mums suggestion.

Sat down and talked to him.
About everything.

Had already booked day out for Daddy's birthday - to Thomas the Tank day on watercress line.
Talked about how 6 previous days out had been ruined and did ds enjoy spending time with mummy and daddy ?
Was warned if not good, for thomas tank day, no more family outings.

Over next few days ignored bad praised good.
Gave back Mr dog, then bike.
Then a few toys.

We went for Thomas day and had the best day ever.
Have just returned from weekend with my best friend and her little boy (7.5) - had the best time ever.

A few minor moans, whining etc etc over the last week.
But tiny.
My good natured, little diamond has returned.

Is it just a phase ?
Don't know.
Where had dh and I gone so wrong ?
But a change of attitude / strategy, on our behalf, atleast helped.
All the best to you.
Hope that helps.

you poor thing, its awful getting so cross that you lose it, I've been there to, it makes you feel really crap, the lowest time actually, cause the kid's think thats how you behave when you get cross and thats how to sort problems out, they learn the wrong message!

It is sooooo difficult being a parent, people tell me it gets worse, how worse can it get!

But at least we have ok days to make up for the crappiest days.

Keep up the good work oblomov with the praising good behaviour, ignoring the bad, we did that the other day in car, I can look back on it now and think it was successful, even though ds was screaming all the way home (2 hours) but it was something different he was moaning about every 3 minutes when he realised we were ignoring him.

Well Done! (she says)

Cheers sleepysooz.
I have, atleast, given quite a lot of thought to how I handled things - often badly, and how I will TRY to do better.
Atleast I consider these things.
Which I think is good enough.

I think we all lose it sometimes, I know I do, but like you say, you recognise it, and try better.

I told my eldest to sod off the other week, (that was a calm outburst) and the twins copied me, I thought, gosh what have I done, but they have since forgotten, thank goodness! at the time though everyone was laughing, there was only me cross! what do you do!

The twins are 3 in October, I'm going to come down on them like a ton of bricks (supernanny approach) they will be old enough to understand right from wrong, I'm sure they do now, they are just contrary! In fact DH we are on leave from work again next week, so might try them in their own beds again, once and for all.

Ya know the, say goodnight, bedtime now, then if get out of bed, night night! then nothing, just placing them back in their beds! I'm dreading it with twins, thought about doing it with one at a time, don't know if anybody out there with twins has any hints, we're so desparate.

Oh well, no pain no gain, surely it can't take longer than 2 weeks, (supernanny always manages it, or is it all for the cameras, I'm very sceptical)!

sleepysooz - I like the 2 knees approach.
Go for it regarding putting twins into their own beds again. Are they in the same room or separate? Our DS is still in his cot but can get out in a second so might as well be in the bed. We are going to take the cot out in October (after our hols. I don't want him falling out onto a tiled floor and the travel cots we hire are really high!).

I tried the rapid return method quite a bit with DS and tbh the first week was a nightmare but I wasn't as consistent with it as you should be. We tried our best under the circumstances with DS2 waking etc. Maybe we could have done it quicker. It came to a point that I realised that he saw rapid return as a game (me waiting outside the door or in my room to just put him back to bed again). He kept giggling his head off and escaped, escaped, escaped... I ended up locking our bedroom door as he was emptying out the drawers etc. and I locked the stairgate over so he couldn't come downstairs. He still came out of his room numerous times but we ignored him and told him to go back to bed . He soon got fed up and wanted to be put to bed. I think its just a matter of time that they get bored and realise that you won't play games.

Anyway he rarely climbs out at bedtime now and if he does then its only the once It's amazing how 1 week you are stressing to the max about it and then a week or so later it really improves. They just need to get the message. I'm not going to pretend it was east becasue it was far from it and we were tearing our hair out but ITS JUST A PHASE

GO FOR IT sleepysooz. Get through the stress and tiredness/frustration of it and before you know it you won't know yourself!

Sorry meant to say I think you should do both the twins at the same time. Otherwise once you have cracked it with 1 and you start with the other, the first one might play up again. I think it will be tough work but so worth it. It will take the 2 of you to do it. I would take a twin each and not swap over. Stick with the twin you start with and see it through. You could maybe ease some stress for yourselves by maybe having a competition with DH as to who cracks their twin 1st!!!!! Don't let them know this of course. At least you might get a laugh out of a stressful situation.

Hia oblomov. Welcome to the thread.
We are doing ok at the moment thanks
I was near to slitting my wrists 2 weeks ago

I'm so glad I met you reece, you have some good advice, yes I will try them together, and thats a brill idea to have a competition with DH, cheers for that.

I think we must be alike, although I havent thought of slitting wrists, more like drive off a cliff top (where I have been it was so easy to do) I know, I know! figure of speech, but not far from truth sometimes, eh! he he at least I can laugh about it this week, unlike last week where I felt soooo low!

DS has been holding his hand up and not using it since I hutched my computer chair over his thumb at lunch time, ahhhh poor little man! actually he's getting a dose of Calpol tonite, he's a bit off colour, crying constantly wanting cuddles, DD keeps telling me '2 knees mummy 2 knees' just so she gets a look in, bless her! and DS1 has a lovely husky voice, weather must be about to change! (what a random thing to say sooz)

It't time to sign off now, I seem to be going gobbldigook again! night night, actually I'm going to watch that programme about twins on the box!

Arhhh thats very nice of you to say sleepysooz. Thats whats so great about MN. Sharing tips and experiences and just even being there where you are needed.

Slitting wrists thing was just a figure of speech as well . Hope I haven't offended anyone.

I think everyone gets low every now and then. They wouldn't be human otherwise. It's just nature. We always pick ourselves up again which is what is great.

I hope your DS is feeling a bit better today. Bless him.

My DS1 has had a cold for a few days with the green nose etc. Poor thing. I know he's getting better though as he has had a couple of little tantrums over nothing today. I have given him some calpol thinking it might help him to take a much needed nap and help his runny nose etc. He said he wanted a sleep, mummy got all excited she was going to have some precious time to herself for once and just as mummy was sitting down to a yummy lunch, DS came downstairs giggling. Oh well we can but dream

How is everyone else doing? Are your children being little angels today?

iwearflairs - we've just been on a weeks holiday visiting SIL and I threw a mental so she had the kids the next day she said they were brill behaved, when I came back they played up, so yes I think its very normal, just so annoying isn't it!

Yep Ds plays up when someone else is around. When daddy comes home from work he starts this' no mummy do it/no daddy do it' which is really annoying. When a friend comes over he starts up because some of the attention has gone from him.
When DH goes away on business it can be tiring taking care of 2 lo's alone all day and night but the tantrums are few and I make all the rules.

Hi everyone. Not been on for a little while. DS (2.10) is going through a very clingy possessive phase at the moment. He constantly has his hand down my top feeling my boobs, and now he won't go to sleep without them! I'm not allowed to read/talk to anyone/go on the computer and suddenly he wants me to feed him his meals! Huh! He's regressing - his glands are up so I dunno if he is fighting a bug - he did have a slight cold - but apart from being narky and temperamental - which is normal toddler behaviour - he seems fine, no temperature or anything. I keep saying to myself it's just a phase, but it's been over a week now. I want my boobies back!!!