Terrible Twos!!! Feel like calling in Supper Nanny????!!

[Reece]

Ds (2.8) has been difficult since DS2 came along 16 months ago but in the last month his tantrums,tears and stubborness have esculated big time.

Typical morning before 9am - Jumps out cot (refuses to sleep in bed)refuses to use potty, refuses to take off pull-up and PJ's. When downstairs asks for weetabix, serve him with warm milk as asked and then refuses to eat it saying that he wants Special K instead. I say no because he had asked for Weetabix. He then proceeds to throw entire bowl of Weetabix on the floor and rant about Special K. I don't give in and try hard to ignore his tantrum. Still won't use potty, demands TV, I refuse until he uses potty and helps to get dressed and washed etc. He continues to rant and rave for 20 + mins. At this stage we are running late for playschool and DS2 is not washed and dressed etc etc.

I expect there are many of you out there that think this is just intermediate stuff but I just need some guidance on how to deal with it.. I feel myself raging inside but know that will make things worse. He is pushing and pushing me and I know I will burst at some stage.

Last night he refused to stay in his room, kept jumping out of the cot for about 2 hours screaming. He was running all over the house upstairs going through my room etc. I tried the quietly placing him back in bed again and again method (don't know what it's called) but he kept waking DS2. DH and I ended up giving up and going downstairs to leave him to it. i feel like locking him in his room.

How long does the terrible 2's last for? Do they have terrible 3's as well??? Parenting is extremely tiring and frustrating at the moment. I am not enjoying him and can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Help!!

Oh btw - DS1 went to bed for 2 hours!!!! DS 2 was in bed for 3 hours!!!! Both at the same time!!!!!
That rarely happens but DS1 is in great form. There has been no bullying this afternoon, no food throwing, no accidents (apart from poo in pants which is normal).
He also ate Cottage pie (with carrot+peas in it) for the first time ever, asked me if I had made it and when I said yes he told me it was lovely!!! He then ate half a banabas mashed with some cream. HE NEVER EATS FRUIT!!!
Shocker - did the aliens take my son and replace him with a angelic clone?
We have been having a disco for the last hour. Thats me and the boys and now we have dragged DH into it. DS's have loved it. Great for using up that energy as I

oops pressed post too soon.

...as I suspect that bed time may be fun...

Thanks for telling me what the codes mean. My DS is at this present moment fighting sleep and keeps summoning me to his room for a cuddle. I have put some gentle music on and I am determined not to cuddle him to sleep as I usually do - this could last until 10pm. DH has gone downstairs for yet another evening on his own! Don't they just look so gorgeous when they are sleeping? My DS is going to be 3 in October and I don't know whether to still make him have a nap in the afternoons. He does get tired, but not having the nap means he will go to sleep by 9.00 latest. Having a nap, which can last 2-3 hours means he could be up till after 10 - even though we start his bedtime routine by 7.00!

Am I allowed to ask if/why this website is under threat? I read a few bits and peices yesterday while I was looking through this thread? It's brilliant - I wish I'd been on it sooner, but I guess I really need it now.

DS2 is in his cot singing and DS1 seems to be asleep as have nothing since putting him to bed at 8.30. He went later tonight as he had a 2 hr nap today! It was fab to get some tme to myself during the day. I managed to drink a HOT cup of tea, do some MNing and get tons of ironing done.

mummyluvsyoo - I've been thinking about what you have said about your DS's naps. Give it some thought before you cut it out. My DS1 dropped his nap about 6 months ago and I think that this contributes hugely to his bad behaviour in the afternoons After his 2 hr nap this afternoon he has been in brilliant form and I have really truly enjoyed him . Normally I am very stressed.

By the sounds of your DS I think you should possibly cut back rather than cut out his nap and amke sure he doesn't nap too late in the day. How long does he nap for at the mo? The other thing is, what time do you normally let him nap til? If my DS1 naps past 3.30 he won't sleep until 8.30/9pm.

Jesus - I don't want to be sounding like 'nobody'..

In answer to your question re: MN - you are better off reading some of the threads but in brief a so-called child care guru ('nobody') had threatened to close down the site due to some comments made about her and her parenting methods. She was not a happy chappy.....

I can't believe I have just spent 10 minutes typing new post and I've lost it

Anyway, well done reece family for a successful evening, surprising how happy mummy is if kiddies are happy! Goodness knows how you are going to top the disco when ya havent any pooey pants
Oh and if still struggling with fruit, try juicing them then freezing them into ice-pops, ours have just tried them for the 1st time, ds can suck but dd needs a little practice ah ah ah ah sweet!

mummyluvsyoo
I have the same problem as you with trying to knock daytime sleeps off, my twins are also 3 in oct. If they sleep in day can be 11pm drop off at night!!!!! read further down threads to see what I mean, so I don't bore the pants off reece, she has already listened to mi moans 'n' groans!

Fantastic thread, longest on mumsnet I think (that I have seen) lets keep it up, although I am away for a week from this friday - can't thank reece enough its been great support!

hia reece

hia mummyluvsyoo

hia sooz, yes, she's finally cracked

Hey Sleepysooz - lol.
Don't thank me, I haven't done anything, just moaned about my kids
Where are you going off to for then week then? Holidays?

Got me thinking what can top the Disco!!!!It was a great way to cheer up the kids, get rid of their excess energy, get me moving my arse, have a laugh etc. We are going to do it more often.
Not sure how many times I can jump in the air and run around the room to Bob The Builder though.

Hia reece! yes I do have to thank you, as I don't have any support, family are tooo close get tooo involved and judgmental.

Disco side of things, try to keep dh up a bit longer dancing, promise hime a treat for later! if that doesn't work ban him a treat, they are just like kids, well my dh is!

Going to South Wales, Pembrokeshire, been for the last 25 years, just like home from home

lol sleepysooz.
will try that DH disco thing. Thanks for the advice. You are sooooo right. I don't have 2 kids, I have 3 .

Have a great holiday if we don't post before.

thanks

'we're all going on a summer holiday'

bet it piddles it down, it normally does

Sorry to hear you are a bit low today FOM. Just try to remember that tomorrow is another day and the weekend is nearly upon us.

Totally relate to your comments about a day and night off. It would be lovely but unfortunately a far distant dream for me at the moment.

I have been suffering from a bad back all night and have woken up this morning with a stinking headache and cold. Just what I need. My back is much worse (must have been all that disco dancing)and I can hardly pick my lo up let alone the big one. How am I going to lift lo into his cot for his nap at lunch time??Oh well, will muddle through.

How was your girlie night FOM? Do I have the right week?

Thank goodness for lemsips.

Hello Reece - sorry to hear about your cold and your back - it's horrible when you're not well and still have to be supermum too. Get well soon.
Floating on the Med - yeah I know the feeling - when I feel like that I usually take DS out for something I can enjoy too - like a long slow walk in the park, or into town to buy "bits" like candles, or lipstick or other cheapy nik naks. Then we go and sit somewhere and have a coffee and a nice cake for half and hour or so, and stroll back. I don't have to give him full-on attention,he can be reasonably entertained, and I get some space too. Plus he's in the pushchair and I don't have to run around after him. As for CBeebies: most annoying programme right now - Lazytown! DS loves it, loves it, loves it.
Hope you have a nice hol sleepsooz.
Thanks to all of you for your advice on naps - I know I have to try and pitch it just right - no nap = yukky bad tempered toddler all afternoon - nap = yukky bad tempered toddler all evening sometimes up to 11 pm. I have thought about making his naps shorter 'cos they can last for three hours, but it's just so peaceful when he's asleep, I can't bring myself to do it. Thanks for the info on "nobody" - I have read about it - nuff said.
You are all wonderful women! Have a great day.

Since reading your post mummyluvsyoo I think I will take boys off this afternoon (after nap/s) for a stroll in the park and cakes Sounds blissful. Will help clear my head and won't demand too much of my energy hopefully. Ds2 loves being in his buggy in the fresh air and DS1, well his favourite thing is being outdoors.

DS1 has been driving me crackers again today. I have been following the sky news reports on Heathrow airport etc and obviously wasn't giving him enough attention. His way of getting it - attack DS2

Its peaceful now as having lunch and his favourite programme is on 'Maggie and the Ferocious Beast'.

Go on mummyluvsyoo - Be brave and cut back S's nap to 2 hours. Bet he will go to bed earlier.
I know it is hard as its wonderful when you get a break and some peace during the day but you can't have it both ways. Less napping in the day = earlier bedtime and more time for you and DH/P in the evening.

How are you feeling now FOM?
Hope your spirits have lifted.

How is everyone today?
Good days?
Good Little Ones?
Happy mummys?

hi, sorry to crash in, someone directed me over here when i had a rant about my ds 2.6 a few weeks ago, the little bugger is in disgrace tonight, he has yanked the catch off our tv/dvd cabinet and bitten the digital card thing so it doesn't work any more. we only have the 5 terrestrial channels now so i can't watch bb live on e4 and see Nikki & Pete (is that sad?)
I have had to to lie to the digital company & tell them nothing has happened to the card so they don't charge us £50 automatically. tomorrow i have to go & buy a new lock thing pdq before the man gets to us so we can deny all knowledge. this will be the 5th time i've replaced that childlock and he just pulls them off, i have all the leftover bits still stuck on the cabinet because i can't pull them off myself, i think i've given birth to superman.
whats more when dh told him he was not allowed to touch the dvd when on his own he flatly refused to accept it, complete rebellion-he went all teenagery and stomped off to sulk, what is he going to be like as a real teenager! it fills me with horror. (he is cute when sulking though)

It's not codswallop at all FOM. In adolescence we re-visit a stage similar to toddlerhood, where we strive for autonomy and independence, in preparation for our lives as adults, just as the toddler strives for autonomy and independence from baby hood.

In both these life stages frustrations/ambivalence occurs when limits are placed on these individual strivings, by parents, culture and society for example, and also with the wish to sometimes remain dependant. (Hence the mood swings of toddlers and adolescence).

Even though a child has plenty of outside influences when he starts school, the boundaries, security and love he/she receives in early infancy and toddlerhood will influence the way he/she copes with the transition into adolescence and adulthood. This is a in-a-nutshell description of a very complex subject but I hope it helps.

Hi Justamum - we have never kept our DVD etc in a closed cabinet. Our DS (2yrs 10 months now) has only occasionally opened the DVD/CD player to put in/take out DVD's/CD's when he is feeling mischievous. But he's learnt to be reasonably gentle with it.

I have found that if he knows that something is not to be touched then he will be more curious about it - but if we leave it all out in the open - it is not a challenge/way of getting our attention so he leaves it alone. If he knows he is not allowed to do something he is more likely to want to do it.

It works the opposite way too. Sometimes we say to him "You can tip your food on the table now - go on" and guess what - he doesn't do it! Or if he's making a real mess we say "Oh that's nice darling, good boy!" and he stops. Not sarcastically - just very enthusiastically. Of course you have to be in the right frame of mind to do this - and sometimes we are not.

Hi Reece. Hope park and cakes was luuurvley!