Things children say that make you larf!!!

[Cam]

My dd aged 9 told me that she has recently looked at a book in science which shows developmental stages of children.

She solemnly informed me that "at around 12/13 girls start their periods and grow public hair"

When standing in post office queue,I asked DS (2.5) to hold parcel and "be postman pat" (to keep him from running off.

Ds(running off)"i'll be back in two seconds"
me: why? Where are you going?
DS: I need a cat
ME: No it's ok. You don't have to have a cat
DS: Yep. I do.

He then went on to half sing/half hum the theme tune from PP to prove he was correct to himself, to me and to the whole queue who had stopped pretending they weren't eavsdropping.

D.S Mummy.......Why did Jesus die on the cross ??

LGJ, in a severe hurry, eh it was all part of the plan.

D.S Which plan ??

LGJ....... Holy God's plan.

D.S But he died on a cross.

LGJ. But on the third day he rose again.

D.S But he still died, not much of a plan if you ask me.

my dd is only 18 month so a bit little for all this yet, except one i suppose!

at mothercare looking for clothes for #2 (am currently pg)

me: dd is the baby in mummies tummy a boy or a girl

dd: silent for 10 seconds until finally....duck!

...dunno about you lot but it made me and the shop assistant laugh!

work colleague (looking at ds); He's a handsome chap, isn't he.
Ds- Yes, my daddy combed my hair this morning!.

my DS is 5 my youngest brother is 4.
they were playing in the park when i told them they had to come home now for tea.
my brother said

" come on XX lets run...she's fat she wont catch us"

In tescos I needed to go to the ladies, dd1 insisted on accompanying me.
As I pee'd she yelled 'Oh wow mummy good girl, well done...' accompanied by lots of clapping and excited jumping up and down..... I think I may now tone down the cheering when she goes.

LGJ at God Not Having Much of a Plan!

DS 2.4 put into cot and wanted to be tucked in:
"Can you tie me up now Mummy?"

Tucking in DS tonight he says

"Mummy it's not fair, you and daddy sleep in the same bed but no-one sleeps with me"

Fair point !