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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Things children say that make you larf!!!

209 replies

Cam · 03/04/2006 14:00

My dd aged 9 told me that she has recently looked at a book in science which shows developmental stages of children.

She solemnly informed me that "at around 12/13 girls start their periods and grow public hair"

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EvesMama · 13/04/2006 08:54

guess its just me reading these this morn eh?

FioFio · 13/04/2006 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

EvesMama · 13/04/2006 09:05

dd's just done her starving for a wee one[chuckle]

and the one a few weeks ago when toilet training..everytime we were out and she needed the loo, she always alerted everyone of her return by announcing "..i've just done a big fat poo/wee"!!!!

jellybrain · 13/04/2006 22:13

Ds1 (then 2.5) "I love my frog wellies, they are beautiful and smiley like you mummy"

Last week aged 8 (out for a walk with my parents)"Don't look any one K(ds2) has gone for a P**s behind that tree!" shouted from about 100yds whilst pointing with one hand and holding the other out in front of him like a traffic cop.

DS2 "Mummy do you know that when you are a teenager you can text your girlfriend", short pause " mummy will you show me how to text?"- watches demo v carefully - " Can we text Lauren?- Me I don't think she has a mobile she's only 6 - DS "Do you think her mummy will give her a message..... and so it went on.

carol3 · 13/04/2006 22:51

Popped into my dh's work.
dd3 2 1/2 patted one of the managers on his beer belly and said 'ahh iccle baby in there' made a quick exit !

carol3 · 13/04/2006 22:54

When ds was little there was a dead bird in the road he said 'mummy how do you know its dead' and i said 'because its not moving or flying any more'. A few weeks later an elderly relative died on hearing this ds said 'can't she fly anymore then'

Beauregard · 13/04/2006 23:53

When i was pregnant with dd2 and sharing bath with dd1 i was moaning that i couldnt reach my feet to wash them.dd1(4)-says you have a disability mommy !

DD1 likes to remind me frequently -'mommy your belly is all stretched and wobbly and your beeboos(our word for boobs )are down to the floor.

its nice to know ive got lots goin for me!

wessexgirl · 14/04/2006 13:35

DD1 (2.6) approached me in the kitchen earlier with her face hidden behind a box of chalk and intoned "I am a diamond and I'm coming to eat you". What?? Love this stage of surreality.

buffythenappyslayer · 14/04/2006 13:39

i had to explain to ds2 (6) that his great nan had died.when i gone into how shed died because she was old and poorly,he looked at me thoughtfully and asked if shed be buried with the guinea pig in grandmas garden!(he also went into great detail that when you die jesus comes down from 'hebben' on some magic invisible stairs,and comes and gets you and you have to go up the stairs with him wait there!)

NoPearls · 14/04/2006 14:09

Me to DD: Grandad's coming to take us out for lunch tomorrow. What do you think you would like to eat?
DD: Peacock

Babyblue2 · 14/04/2006 14:44

When DD1 was 2 (now 3) she asked about what boy's bits are called. Told her it was a willy and that was that. Last week she was jumping playfully over her dad and said oh i'd better not jump on your wellington. After a few seconds thought we realised that she'd mistaken willy for welly and hence wellington. I'm still laughing now.

stoppinattwo · 15/04/2006 14:27

My DS has just got incredibly embarrassed, we were visitng my Godmother this morning and she commented on all the lovely tits in the garden. He didnt know where to put his face . Luckily she was oblivious

Ledodgy · 15/04/2006 14:33

This morning i was on the loo and putting a fresh sanitary towel on, my 3 year old dd said" Ooh look mummy you wearing lady nappies aren't you?"

Melpomene · 15/04/2006 15:25

I took the dds to Tesco yesterday and stopped to look at the children's clothes. dd1 (nearly 3) started saying in a loud and agitated voice "No Mummy! Don't look at the clothes! They're too expensive! It's a hundred thousand pounds!"

Also after dd2 had been having a breastfeed, dd1 pointed to my left breast and said "That one's spaghetti", then pointed to my right breast and said "That one's sauce."

stoppinattwo · 16/04/2006 20:15

Dont eat any more easter eggs or your teeth will all go rotten and fall out.

DS "well theyre all loose any way so im just helpin them!!"

responses please!!

Beauregard · 16/04/2006 20:55

I was trying to choose a choccie today and put back one in a foil wrapper -DD1(4)"no mommy you cant do that you have to eat the one youve handled"

Whizzz · 16/04/2006 21:02

Standing next to Lake Windermere DS said

"Lets sit down on that yeti" (jetty)

louise35 · 16/04/2006 21:32

I always laugh when I remember my DD as a toddler (she's now 11) came into the bathroom when I was changing one of my sanitary towels and she said in her tiny little voice "ooh mummeee are you having a nappeee on too". I thought it had only happened to me until I read Ledodgy's post and realised that there must be loads of us who have been caught in the act of putting on our secret nappies lol. She once also walked into the bathroom when she was really young and saw my DH in the bath, and proceeded to point at his privates and shout at him "ooh whats that thing sticking out of your tuppence?". Back then that was the name of our "ladies bits" and she was obviously very perplexed as to why Daddy had something extra sticking out of his.

gigglinggoblin · 16/04/2006 21:45

overheard ds1(7) to ds2(5): just because ds1(1) bosses me about doesnt mean you can

ds1 (at about 5) - mummy, balls go faster than dogs dont they

Jbck · 16/04/2006 21:51

DD was about 2.5 & used to shout 'Well Done Mummy' & clap really loudly if we were out in a public loo & it was my turn to wee. I realised I was overdoing the fervent praise whilst toilet training.
Around the same age she realised Mummys & Daddys had different bits, if DH came out of the shower into the bedroom starkers as is his norm, she'd just point & laugh really loudly, don't know where she could have got that from.

Whizzz · 16/04/2006 21:55

LOL

chipmonkey · 17/04/2006 01:22

ds2(7) to dh:
"Daddy, if a robber was the last person left in the world, would he be scared?"

MrsWood · 17/04/2006 12:03

Yesterday dh and dd were playing catch in the living room - I wanted to join in, and dd proptly stopped me, went into the conservatory, turned the light on for me, and told me to go do ironing! LOL

monkey · 17/04/2006 14:14

my grandma bought the boys a statue of Saint Michael for their room (imagine big powerful archangel wearing armour, brandishing sword, huge wings unfurled). Ds 3 (age 2) comes into their room, spots staute & says "there's batman, mummy". Ds1 promptly bursts out laughing and says "Daddy, did you hear that, he thinks that fairy's Batman!!".

A while ago I had a crucifix and ds3 got hold of it & broke it. Ds1 looks at me solemly and says, "sorry mummy, He's definitely dead now isn't He?"

MrsWood · 17/04/2006 18:26

Another good one is when we turn off the lights:

"mummy, no, I can't see my eyes" LOL

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