Things children say that make you larf!!!

[Cam]

My dd aged 9 told me that she has recently looked at a book in science which shows developmental stages of children.

She solemnly informed me that "at around 12/13 girls start their periods and grow public hair"

ds1 when 4.5
Mum, I want you to stop singing that song

Why do you want me to stop Wong Jnr?
Because it is boring me

DS aged 22 months decided that the first time we take him to a restaurant for his tea, is the best time to suddenly develop a fixation with 'mummies boobies' in a loud voice accompnied by a groping hand

Ellbell, what about B is for BumbleBee.

much more child friendly.

I told DS1 we have to wait for the green man before we can cross the road.
A bloke in a green jacket ran across the road

DS1 - look mummy here's the green man.

DD playing upstairs, me calling her down for lunch... Response: "mummy, I'm busy" (she's 2.9)

DD watching Tom & Jerry on DVD - as Tom religiously wacks Jerry over the head with a frying pan - dd (astonished): "Bloooody Heeeeell" :)

Walking out of nursery: "I've had a lovely day today"

Too many dd-nisms to list, but she makes us laugh daily :)

Teacher (me!): Please put your name on your piece of paper.

X: But why do you always ask us to do that Miss? You already know our names.

DD2, then 5

DD -I know what a fagina is.
Me - what?
DD - It looks like a tadpole and it swims....

Dh to ds, 'We've had to tell you off a lot today'

Ds to dh, 'I know...are you sorry?'

d/h busy ironing I know a very rare occurance and looking after 2.5d/d
"Daddy please play with me?"

"Love, I am doing the ironing Daddy is very busy doing women's work!!!???"

d/d 2.5 "But Daddy it is group time!" Well he just couldn't refuse to stop what he was doing and play(grin)

ds2 aged 2 was pushing down on my breasts the other day(don't ask) and i said" what are you doing"
he replied' squashing your tummy', giggling i said " why? what does it feel like?"
he replied' chocolate!'

today he did it again and just looked at me and said' i squashing your chocolate!'

Ds likes to go outside for some 'french air' and tonight had some 'chewingcumber'And his favourite game is to be a super aero

My dd3 was dressed up today as "nose-wipe" with a crown - she means snow white but it just sounds like nose wipe when she says it - plus her nose was running green gunk!! :)

In Majorca last year, my hubbie and I decided to try something more spanish than the usual burger and chips...! we had paella and my son was intrigued by all the different varieties of fish on our plates.following day, as we walked past same restaurant, he pointed and shouted very loudly "look mummy,daddy...that's where you went last night to get "crabs"!!!"

with my then 4 yr old daughter in a busy a&e department just as a little boy was being stretchered out, "is he dead?"!!!much to the amusement of all the staff and patients.(thankfully, he wasn't!)
think i've posted before about my son when he was 3/4.walking through town,we passed a lady with a poodle."mummy,why's that lady walking a sheep?"!!!

Leaving a friend's house, ds1 had run on ahead of ds2 and me.
Me: "Can you see ds1?"
Ds2: "No, Mammy, the ghost is clear!"

Driving home from (very religious!) MIL's house
Me to dh: "watch your speed, there's a police car ahead"
Dh: "Where's the police car?"
Me: "Parked up there on the grassy verge"
Ds1 "Mammy, what did you say about the Blessed Virgin?"

Went to the toilets in a service station with DD. She was 3 at the time, so we squeezed into the same cubicle.Bearing in mind the toilets were v busy. She was on the toilet and she asked me very loudly.
"mummy do you get poo marks in your knickers?, my friend in nursery does!!!"
Had to wait about 10 minutes b4 leaving the toilet, couldnt stop laughing

My friend's dd (4) weed on the coffee table . When my friend yelled "Why did you wee on the table" her dd splashed her hands in the puddle she was sitting in and said "cos it's warm and it's wet and I like it...." No reply to that one.

I asked my DD3 what video she wanted to watch last night and she said "Titty House"

Me: Uh I don't think we have videos like that, which one do you mean?

DD: Titty house Titty house Titty house

DH and I were laughing so hard I thought I would cry.

She meant Mickey Mouse. I really hope she gets her speech therapy appointment through soon.

my dnephew used to play with his Buzz Lightyear toy shouting "to Silly Billy and Beyond!"

my dd (3 next tuesday)

"i'm STAAAARVING for a wee"!!!!

she knows when we say starving it means we really really want something to eat, so she thinks it applies to when she really really wants other stuff!
[grin

stoppinattwo LOL

dior, milward, alexmum..actually snorting with laughter here

dd just a few minutes ago..
me:dd, dont put your spoon (eating yogurts) in the sink, its got bleach in it
dd: ok mammy
5 mins later..
dd:maaaammy, i didnt put my spoon in the sink.(hmm..)
me: so where have you put it?
dd: in the bin..ive put the yogurt pots in the sink

if dd wants something and is being a pain..she says to me "pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, you majesty "!! and courtsies

we were all sat in living room and dp wanted football on and we were watching cartoons, dp started moaning that because we'd been out all day he already missed one game..dd said "oh daddy stop being such a wuss!!!..classic