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Original poster

Things children say that make you larf!!!

209 replies

Cam · 03/04/2006 14:00

My dd aged 9 told me that she has recently looked at a book in science which shows developmental stages of children.

She solemnly informed me that "at around 12/13 girls start their periods and grow public hair"

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JoolsToo · 03/04/2006 14:03

dd told me that as she was walking back from school with dgs1 she asked if he wanted to take his coat off (he was running and it was a warm day) his reply

'actually, yes, it is awfully warm!' - he's 5 Grin

Greensleeves · 03/04/2006 14:05

I accidentally knocked ds1 (3) on the side of the head while making his lunch, and said "Oh, sorry, sweetheart!" He replied "I'm welcome, Mummy!"

?!?!?Grin

Twiglett · 03/04/2006 14:05

"please mummy please"

"no ds you cannot have it "

"please mummy please beautiful mummy" "most beautiful mummy in the whole wide world"

PMSL

sandyballs · 03/04/2006 14:06

My two were singing this morning:

I went to the animal fair
the birds and the bees were there
the big baboon, by the light of the moon
was combing his "organ" hair!!!

A strange image sprang to mind Grin

Raggydoll · 03/04/2006 15:06

ds has started calling dd 'darlin' - he went into her room this morning and I heard 'morning darlin' in very strong cockney accent, we live about 200 miles north of london ??!!?

hullabaloo · 03/04/2006 21:01

My DS was watching the UEFA cup and start and remembered that his dad had wanted to watch it. He is an excellent reader but tends to pronounce things the way he thinks they should be said(IYSWIM) He called up stairs... Dad - ue fa cup!! I've never seen his Dad so stunned!

anchovies · 03/04/2006 21:06

Am currently breastfeeding our newborn, ds1 (who is 2) is fascinated by the whole thing. He calls the breastpump "mummy's milk watering can" and is now obsessed with nipples.

Was in a quiet cafe yesterday when he said in a lovely loud voice "mummy's got a nipple". He then said "mummy's got a nipple there" and pointed to the mole on my forehead. Unfortunately I made the mistake of laughing and he has told everybody (announced it at nursery this morning...) that mummy's got a nipple on her head. Very embarrassing!

cece · 03/04/2006 21:25

Watching You've Been Framed.

A clip came on of a big fat woman with her dress over her head and she is wobbling her big belly!

DS points, turns around and announces to room "That's mummy" Blush

WharfRat · 03/04/2006 21:34

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KBear · 03/04/2006 21:46

I said to DS (4) "finish what you're doing and I'll make you some lunch". He replied "It's my lucky day".

busybusybee · 03/04/2006 21:49

My ds aged 4 said

"Im painting it like this mummy because thats the kind of artist I am" :o

bubblerock · 03/04/2006 21:57

omg sandyballs, pmsl at 'combing his organ hair' Grin

pepperpots · 03/04/2006 22:00

OMG i pmsl at sandyballs!!! Dp is looking at me very strange GrinGrin

hovely · 04/04/2006 20:20

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fisil · 04/04/2006 20:25

M&S changing rooms during the sales: "Make milk come out of your breasts, Mummy," in a high pitched 2 year old voice.

Waswondering · 04/04/2006 20:28

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fisil · 04/04/2006 20:32

Similar to Waswondering ...

... talked ds1 into getting dressed and finished negotiations with "is that a deal?" He suddenly got very excited and got dressed in a flash, talking about Granny all the time. When he was dressed he asked to see Granny and then burst into floods of tears when I said that she wasn't here. Because she was at home. In Kent. In the town of Deal. I then realised that poor ds1 only knew one meaning for the word "deal" - i.e. the place where Granny lives!

Karmamother · 04/04/2006 20:35

When my DS was 3 we were talking about a lady we knew who was pregnant. I told him that she'd had a special photo of her tummy which showed the baby was a boy. After a long pause he asked, "Did it not have long hair then?"

kbaby · 04/04/2006 21:18

my 22 month DD said to dh this weekend after he was making her leave a shop ' Daddy stop nagging'

jenthehen · 04/04/2006 21:24

At sunday lunch discussing where pork came from (being a farmers daughter I told him a pig had been shot) we reached dessert and he said of the Angel Delight ---"Mummy has an angel been shot to make this?"
Tonight whilst making a funny noise with his drink he said "I'm gargoyling"

abacus · 04/04/2006 21:34

My ds (2yrs)on holiday had a thing about sticks, and we were potty training at the time. We all roared when he sat on his potty stick in hand and announced "I'm doing a wee with my dick" (ie stick - not able to say s!)
The same child back at home watching tv on potty (you can see a theme here can't you) suddenly announces "I love boobies I do"
My dh and I indulged in a little afternoon horizontal exercise and came out of the bedroom looking a little flushed and dishevelled and my dd (10yrs) said accusingly "have you 2 been nudey dudey"

Raggydoll · 05/04/2006 13:58

ds 2 was walking downstairs with a mounthfull of chocolate (you can see where this is heading can't you) he announces in very loud voice "hmmm, nice cock grandad".

Orinoco · 05/04/2006 21:36

When dd1 was smaller, we took some scruffy books back to the library, where she announced in a very loud voice in a very quiet library "Mummy, have you finished with those dirty books?"

MrsSpoon · 05/04/2006 21:41

DS2, aged three about anyone in a kilt "Mummy that man's a bagpipe".

rarrie · 05/04/2006 21:45

A few weeks ago we took our DD (2) to the shops. She asked if she could pay the man. Yes we said, but pointed out that the sales assistant was a lady.

A couple of weeks later, back at the same shop, with the same sales assistant. DD asked if she could pay the lady, so we said yes and let her pay.

As we were about to leave, DD gave us a very knowing look and loudly proclaimed;
"Its a man, really!"

I could have died!