Parents criticised our chosen baby name without knowing it was ours

[Bringbackbuffy]

We haven’t shared any of our baby name choices yet with any friends or family, but we don’t have any lists. We just have a boys name and a girls name.

My parents went on a complete rant the other day about one of our chosen names- they don’t know we’ve chosen it- a friend of theirs has just named their child that.

It was really quite hurtful to listen to, and to know they hate the name so much- but we still don’t want to change it.

I don’t really know what to do, I just wish they hadn’t been so awful

My mother let me know whilst she was under the influence of medication in A&E that my grandmother never liked my name and had told her. DM had kept quite for 40+ years but obviously whatever they had given her had made her quite high. I was a bit sad at the time but my grandmother was dead by then and it didn't destroy my love for my grandmother and she certainly seemed to love me. And my mother absolutely adored her mother, absolutely adored her, no doubt about that whatsoever

You need to wait and see your baby, you might not think the name suits them when you see them. I had to take a long look at my DC before I named them.

I am not that keen on my granddaughters name but I tell you I worship the ground she walks on, her name is immaterial

OP, you’ve gone down a hole.

This is not remotely similar.

They just don’t like a name, that’s fine. You can still use it. They haven’t betrayed you or done anything wrong.

Charles is fine OP, and Charlie is cute. If I met a baby Charlie I’d think absolutely nothing of it. Once he’s here and that’s his name, your parents will get used to it - they’ll probably like the name much more once they associate it with their lovely grandbaby. In the same way you can be put off names by unpleasant kids with those names, the reverse is true - I’ve come across some names I wasn’t keen on originally but the kids were so lovely I ended up liking the names. Anyway maybe baby will be a girl and you can avoid the whole issue entirely 😁 just don’t worry about it, it’ll be fine in the end. Everyone will have an opinion one way or another and they won’t all be positive (just look at the name threads on here), but it really wont matter. My eldest is Orla and my mum had histrionics that ‘everyone will call her Orca!’ Spoiler- that has literally never happened and no one, including her, has any issue with her name.

Goodness me.I don't blame them. It's so out there and weird.
he'll be teased no end for having such a freaky name.
Call him something normal like Beauregard or Ptolemy instead.

This has to be a wind up…Charles isn’t out there nor is it having a revival because it never went!

All the Charles, Charly and Charlie's I've know have been lovely...even teaching them, so I can see why you would like it.
Go with the name you love best. It is your child and very likely to outlive the grandparents.

Not equivalent. That would be about her, specifically. They haven’t said anything about your child, specifically. Just about a name said unborn child doesn’t even have yet.

You’re being wildly unreasonable.

You need to give yourself a shake here. They just dont like the name, its their own opinion and not a personal slight on you. You do like the name. Its all subjective.

If you still like the name plough ahead. Im sure there are lots of things you like and they don't.

Charlie/Charles is a fine name and if you like it, so fucking what what anyone else thinks.

By the sounds of it, your parents will have an opinion on whatever name you decide but it's your child, not theirs. And they're clearly fucking stupid if they think Charlie/Charles doesn't suit children or adults.

All of this will feel really insignificant when the baby is here and they fall in love with him/her.

I can see why it's hurtful now but honestly, I don't think they or you will really care once the baby is here.

Also it is a really weird to have such a strong opinion about a name like Charles/ Charlie - it's very popular and inoffensive.

That’s personal though. Your mum doesn’t know you want that name.

Surely in the midst of their tirade against the name you'd just say "That's actually the name we've chosen if it's a boy"? They'd then either have back pedalled swiftly in embarrassment and told you'd they'd get used to it, or doubled down and told you you 'couldn't call him that' to which you'd have told them they'd have to get used to it.
Unless everyone is really weird, not sharing views about a child's name isn't something that should cause serious problems from either side.
Seems a huge amount of unecessary angst all round to me.

I know it’s hurtful, but just ignore them, they’ll get used to it.

My mum absolutely hated DC1’s name when we told her our choice while pregnant. She tried to make us change our mind but we didn’t budge. She’s fine now, got used to it.

While I was pregnant with DC2, my best friend went on a random rant about how she hated a certain popular name. That name happened to be our top preference for DC2. I was a bit taken aback but didn’t say anything. We went on to give DC2 that name, she became godmother without complaint and nothing was ever said about it again.

Your child, your decision. Everyone else will get used to it.

But when I give the baby that name I will know all these nasty thoughts they have.

So will they-and they will know that you don't care.

They really will love everything about your baby, including the name, I can assure you.
I was in a similar situation when we told my DM about our preferred name for our son, it was ‘too Irish’ for her and she really, really disliked it.
But we used it anyway to honour DH's family and heritage and she came to love it, it suited our baby son down to the ground. And he loves it too, always has. He’s now on his 30s.
It’s not an uncommon English name at all, there are always a few around!

Tell them you are calling him Gary

Say you read somewhere about ‘Gary’s going extinct and you want a really unique name and he’s likely to be the only one in his class. Little baby Gaz

Then see what their reaction is!

That does not compare in any way.

If DH's friend told me that DH had told him I was fat and let myself go, I'd be thinking 'Did DH really say that?', 'Have I put on weight and let myself go?', ,''Why is the friend telling me?' .

If DH had, I'd be spectacularly disappointed in him. If I had let myself go, I'd deal with it. The DH's friend is a twat.

The first grandchild of someone I know was named Otis, poor little bugger,

I love Otis, wish I'd used it.

Would be dellghted to have a GS with that name.

Tbh I'd be delighted to have GC!

Well that’s a bit of an anti-climax. Nothing wrong with those names, my son had a Charlie in his class. And how can she say it’s not an adult name when our actual King is called it 😂

Nothing for you to worry about. ❤️

Charles/Charlie is fine. maybe they just don't like the King?

Gosh!

Not even remotely "out there"!

Is your surname Farley?

(I doubt you're old enough to get that reference!)

Let it go, OP. They will grow to love the name when they meet the child. They don't know you have chosen it so it's not personal.

My mother and my mil both hated the name we gave ds1. My mum begged me not to use it and my mil, though she never said a word, winced every time she used it for the first few months.

Then they got used to it and -whether they loved the name or not - they loved their grandson and it became his name rather than the hippyish "out there" name we'd loved and chosen.

These days he's all grown up and they have completely forgotten they didn't like it to begin with.

The important thing is that you like it.

The exact same thing happened to some friends of ours! They ignored their parents and just went ahead with it. I'd do the same - it's your baby!

Great name for an adult & very cute for a baby.

Is there a possibility they are associating Charlie with the alternative name I've heard for cocaine. People saying things like the way they sound they've been on the Charlie. I had no idea what it meant until someone told me.

I would still use the name but just wondering if it could be their reason 🤔