Parents criticised our chosen baby name without knowing it was ours

[Bringbackbuffy]

We haven’t shared any of our baby name choices yet with any friends or family, but we don’t have any lists. We just have a boys name and a girls name.

My parents went on a complete rant the other day about one of our chosen names- they don’t know we’ve chosen it- a friend of theirs has just named their child that.

It was really quite hurtful to listen to, and to know they hate the name so much- but we still don’t want to change it.

I don’t really know what to do, I just wish they hadn’t been so awful

I quite like it, and it does seem to be slowly coming back.

I could, however, see how op's parents might have thought it was comment-worthy, but Charles ...??

Charlie is awful, for a child or adult, but Charles is a good, solid name. Charlie makes me think of a "right Charlie" i.e. an idiot, and it's slang for cocaine. It's also just really drippy.
Do your parents dislike the monarchy?

@Calliopespa , seemingly not: Edmund - Baby name explorer. It's surprisingly underused given how popular Edward is.

Agree re the analogy and thought the same.

At the point of commenting, the criticism was entirely unconnected with you in their minds OP.

I had similar with my mum when a "celebrity" used a name on our shortlist. I would think not saying rude things about baby name choices around expectant parents would be obvious but she has form for having no tact. It actually made me want to use it more but I didn't in the end due to the celebrity connection.
If you really love the name then please don't let other people's opinions stop you.

It wouldn't even occur to me to consider my parents thoughts when naming a baby-they've had their turn when I was born and it's my turn now?

Nothing wrong with Charles; it's a great name choice and Charlie is very standard well used nickname. What have they got against it? I would just carry on and use the name and they'll get used to it.

I would just ignore them. Fashions change and younger people don't necessarily have the same associations with names that older people do.

But this is a personal attack. It’s totally different

A name is a name. People are allowed opinions on names. They didn’t know it was your chosen name just a name they had heard. You cannot be offended because you want to call your son this name

I called my DS a name I didn’t like but for a personal reason to my DH. Me not liking the name wasn’t a personal attack on my DS or DH. I’ve learned to love the name as it’s his name

That's a lovely name op and I think it IS good for a boy or a man.

Sometimes some people just have to have a negative opinion about things like this. Are your parents usually those types of people?

Either way I'd just leave it. Don't say anything to them.

If you have a boy they will love everything him, including his name because it's their grandson! And if they don't.....tough shit, really!

They didn't like it and that's their prerogative. They didn't know you plan to use that name so they didn't do it to be deliberately rude or upset you. It's up to you whether you decide to use it anyway.

Why does there need to be a big name reveal? It’s a name. It doesn’t really matter & you sound dramatic about it.

Why is it mean? Did they say it to the people who have named their baby that? They weren't to know the OP liked it.

My eldest’s name is Rupert (and it’s why I was scanning the replies to this thread - to see whether that was the offending name!) and my mum had exactly the same reaction: her WhatsApp reaction will live on in perpetuity - ‘can’t stand the name…. But pleased he’s healthy’ 🤣

She still doesn’t really like it but that’s fine, it suits him perfectly in my opinion.

I think you should probably take this less to heart, OP - there is no single name that everybody universally will like, and that’s ok.

Congratulations :)

When I was expecting DS, one of my mother's friends became grandmother to a Benjamin. Mum went on at some length about how much she disliked long names which are inevitably shortened. We had already chosen the name Alexander, and we told Mum that the name we had chosen was a long one. She was not happy and fretted about him having a ridiculous name for the rest of the pregnancy.

When he was born all her objections to long names vanished and she loved his name. Apparently "Alexander" doesn't count as a "long name."

At least my mum tried to be a bit more subtle about it. 😂

I thought it might be Rupert too! It seems to be a name that can invoke strong opinions. Would've never guessed Charlie!

That's a lovely name! Your parents will just have to get used to it. They will almost certainly fall in love with your child as soon as they see him, and the name won't even matter.

I'd go more towards the Charlie side (with Charles his official name of course) as that's definitely more modern - I know quite a few Charlies.

My dad went on a campaign to stop me naming my sons the name we ( mostly DH) had chosen. Got his friends to ring me up saying he’d be bullied, he said it was a dog’s name, offered me £100 to give him his own 1st name. Water off a duck’s back, I just laughed it off. Don’t over think it OP.

We didn't want to tell anyone our dcs name until they were born, but mil wore us down in the end so we told her our second favourite. She immediately said "oh no, I don't like that, it reminds me of (insert person she doesn't like who we have never met)" 🙄 and she wonders why we didn't want to tell her.

Charlie / Charles is such a classic name, I was expecting something a lot more unusual. Just remember your dc is going to be a grown man one day and your mums opinion of his name is going to mean feck all

it was spectacularly stupid if them to say what they said when they don’t know what your name choices are.

So no-one can comment on any names when a family member is pregnant? Well there's an etiquette role I never knew.

If they're of my generation, they probably see Charlie as a mockable name. Back in the day we used to call someone stupid 'a proper Charlie' and any character called Charlie in a book or on TV, was likely to be a bit daft. So although I know that's not the case now, it's still a name that I can't quite take seriously.

Edward fine, Ralph is the name of Michael's penis in Judy Blume'Blume's 'Forever'!!

Very not same category!

Charlie is lovely for a girl x

I mean this kindly, but you are taking a conversation in the abstract and making it very personal, when that clearly wasn’t the intention. So your parents don’t like the name. You now know that - either it changes your mind or it doesn’t. Lots of people like/dislike all sorts of names, but it doesn’t make a difference to how they feel about that person. Nothing to feel really hurt about - just some information about their preference over something that actually isn’t up to them! Please try not to let this bother you.

Oh those are great names! I know a few at all different ages.

It sucks your parents don’t like it, but they obviously didn’t mean to hurt you. As they are being the odd ones here I’d turn it into a joke about how they don’t like it.