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Original poster

Unjust custody situation

433 replies

Helloworldz87 · 24/01/2024 10:21

What would you do? Long story short. Move in with husband and his family. Naive. Didn't know how controlling they were going to get. Get pregnant early on in the relationship. My father promises to sell his vintage car if we ever need it. Later renegs it. Won't explain why. Gaslights me. After the baby is born. Get Post natal depression. Husband's parents kick us out. Husband loses his job xand I couldn't get work. My parents go overseas for months. My parents eventually get back. My in laws use the legal system against me and file for custody of my daughter. Husband begs me back. Many empty promises of getting custody of my daughter back. Move in with him (without in laws) Many empty promises of getting our daughter back. Marriage becomes financially, emotionally and physically abusive. Move back in with my parents and baby. I feel like such a fool. But don't get any answers as to why my father screwed us over? Apparently if CPS was involved in my daughter case, this would've never happened.

OP posts:
EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 11/03/2024 02:37

Sometimes we have to accept in life that all we can do is pick ourselves up and go on. You have the rest of your life to live, you have your LO, maybe some day a better relationship with your DD, don't waste the good you could have in your life trying to fix things you cant change. I really hope for you and your LOs sake that you can find a way past the obsessing. You both deserve better. You live your life in the present, you love you LO and spend time with her. You take little steps forward, you work to let go and heal. .

Danfromdownunder · 11/03/2024 02:45

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WandaWonder · 11/03/2024 03:10

Helloworldz87 · 11/03/2024 02:31

What else am I supposed to do at this point?

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move out?

Mrsm010918 · 11/03/2024 06:16

Helloworldz87 · 11/03/2024 02:31

What else am I supposed to do at this point?

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Exactly what you've been told multiple times, be an adult.

Move out, stand on your own 2 feet, provide for the child you have with you and work on building a better relationship with the child you don't have. Therapy, to help you let go of the pain from the past and learn coping mechanisms for PTSD.

Original poster
Helloworldz87 · 11/03/2024 07:38

Wadermellone · 24/02/2024 07:32

Why would anyone here need to explain. You and your ex husband are clearly chaotic. Whatever the reason is. It doesn’t really matter why you couldn’t care for your child. Whether it was pnd, autism, poor mental health. The fact is that couldn’t. Proved by you leaving your child there when you left. You even felt it was the correct decisions at the time.

How long between leaving and in laws going to custody?

Lots of people have helped you. Your in laws opened their home to you. You decided to leave your child with them when you left. They have raised your daughter because you weren’t able to.

Your parents have helped you. They opened their home to you again. And put up with your constant blame of them for all your problems. Including not letting you grow up. But also for stepping back and letting you live your life. I also suspect the only reason you have care of your second child is because you live with your parents. Which is why you don’t move out.

Your SW absolutely wouldn’t not be making a judgment on the legality of the first child’s custody. Again I suspect you either refused to work with child services or they couldn’t locate you so only assessed your in laws.

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Its more like the other way around. My parents Blame this whole situation on me, all the time. They gave me no advice at all. And if they kept their promises, I probably wouldn't be in this mess

OP posts:
Original poster
Helloworldz87 · 11/03/2024 07:54

Mrsm010918 · 11/03/2024 06:16

Exactly what you've been told multiple times, be an adult.

Move out, stand on your own 2 feet, provide for the child you have with you and work on building a better relationship with the child you don't have. Therapy, to help you let go of the pain from the past and learn coping mechanisms for PTSD.

Show quote history

Easy to say move on. I'm the one carrying this weight of grief every day

OP posts:
Schoolchoicesucks · 11/03/2024 08:13

@helloworldz87 You say you "wish there was something you could do to prevent this from happening to someone else".

Gently, you are not in a position to support anybody else. You need to use all of your resources and energy to support and find support for yourself and your child who lives with you.

Your in-laws aren't about to manipulate other women into handing over their children to them. Your dad isn't about to promise to sell his car to finance someone else to keep a roof over their head for a couple of months. And you don't have the insight into your life or circumstances that have led to you being in this position so you can't teach someone else how to avoid it.

Original poster
Helloworldz87 · 11/03/2024 09:55

Schoolchoicesucks · 11/03/2024 08:13

@helloworldz87 You say you "wish there was something you could do to prevent this from happening to someone else".

Gently, you are not in a position to support anybody else. You need to use all of your resources and energy to support and find support for yourself and your child who lives with you.

Your in-laws aren't about to manipulate other women into handing over their children to them. Your dad isn't about to promise to sell his car to finance someone else to keep a roof over their head for a couple of months. And you don't have the insight into your life or circumstances that have led to you being in this position so you can't teach someone else how to avoid it.

Well my in laws thinking us completely disordered, so why do they get away with it? Cohersing us into this situation and then alienating my own child from me

OP posts:
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