Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 2

[LittlePoot]

Dear all lovely ladies past, present and future. Welcome to support thread number two, to help us through the anxious TTC waiting, early scary weeks of pregnancy, nasty scans and tests, growing bumps and babies and everything in between. May this thread bring luck and (eventual) joy to us all and at least we'll all be here to hold eachothers' hands along the way. x

I'm so sorry to hear that Mimsy. Wish I had something useful to say. May this week pass quickly for you. Thanks for your kind thoughts. It's actually my MIL with cancer and she has her next scan in September. She's like a mum to me though while my mum is so far away (Melbourne) and drives me just as crazy. You take care of yourself. I'm not religious, but I hope you don't mind if I pray for a miracle for you (?) xxx

Oh mimsy , i'm so sorry was thinking of you yesterday, i agree with LP too crap tv took my mind off things for a bit (i went through my whole friends box set that i got about 3 christmases ago and haden't watched after we lost Liam) it's good sometimes to just give your mind a little rest...and of course if you 'accidently' eat a whole tub of ben & jerrys whilst trying to distract yourself i don't think anyone will judge but just know my thoughts are with you and i'm sending you some ery very big ((hugs)).

Coffee: How's the morning sickness? i'm dreading it but in a catch 22 sort of way, with DS1 i started getting sickness at around 8wks and with Liam it wasn't till about 12 wks, so i'm dreading the feeling poo all day every day but also dreading not getting sick till later again or not at all because it will make me think somethings wrong...i do have sore boobs though and extreme tierdness; i could happily sleep all day if it was even remotely possible.

Mishta: Thanks for the trans cervical advice, i don't know why i just think i'd handle that better pap-smears don't really bother me so that might be the route to go but i guess i'll cross that bridge when i come to it!

Good news from me is i got my new pg notes yesterday and it looks like i will be having the same MW i had with Liam so she will already be fully aware of the situation and i won't have to go through it all again, she already knows us and was brill last time so i'm so happy should have her again
and also DP and i have found the perfect house! (don't know if i mentioned we were keeping an eye out) we decided we wanted somewhere a bit bigger and preferably in Exeter itself as opposed to just outside as we are now and last night i think i found it! Exeter,3 bed,2 min walk from where Liam is buried,catchment area for a great primary school and within our budget so i think were going for it, wish us luck!
Love to all of you (esp mimsy) XxDramaxX

Thanks everyone. Have been trying to relax and eating loads of carbs (when I don't feel sick). DH got back late last night so I have him back now. We had a chat last night about having ISCI if this happens again. So might start looking into that. Funny thing, is with all the tests we've had, no one has asked DH to do a sperm morphology test. I guess the fact we have one healthy DC rules that out.

Mishtabel, thanks for your prayers. Makes me feel better to know it. I did light a candle for this baby in every bloody church we went into in Italy. everything is worth a try!

Kittens, I went to the recurrent MC clinic in April/May and they did their standard tests on me and all came out normal. So I am not sure what there is left to do now? I am hoping to see them next week after my scan (if I make it that far) and chat about any possible further options they can think of. I know it is probably just my age (40) and rotten luck - but if there is anything anyone can think of to check, I'm on it.

Oh no Mimsy I'm so sorry it wasn't good news. Glad your DH is back with you now.

No time to post properly just now but Mimsy just wanted to say I'm thinking of you.

Will check in again properly later xx

Hello to everyone

Mimsy I'm sorry the scan wasn't what you hoped for, I was thinking of you yesterday. Keep occupied until the next one, I agree that DVD's and icecream is the way forward. Much love. xx

Drama, Coffee, Catlady etc, how are you all getting on with morning sickness etc? I haven't been sick at all but just totally exhausted this week and very very very constipated which is very uncomfortable and distracting.

12 days and counting to scan date.... I have been reading a lot about screening tests and markers and have decided that provided the risk levels come back low we will not consider CVS or amnio to aviod any further risk. However if the figures come back as high then I will try and get booked in as quickly as possible for the CVS. Has anyone waited for quardruple bloods at 15/16 weeks?

allstarsprincess

ooops posted before I was finished!!!

allstarsprincess any news?!?! xxx

Gentle rustle of pom poms for allstars.....

And here we go again... Give me an A, Give me 2 Ls...

Hi all - not had much time to post the last couple of days as DD has a cold so she's been v unsettled (cold = mucus = more trapped wind = pain as she can't wiggle it free - bet she's wishing she'd hung on til later like her brother now...).

Mimsy - already said it but I'm so sorry. Would be lovely to see you but only if and when you're ready; and I'm really glad your DH is with you again. Hope DS is being lovely to you as well.

Mishtabel - good to hear from you. I don't know about trusting my body, given labour hasn't started naturally either time. I just fear the idea of an operation more! Also, with DS so much wasn't ideal about how he was born that I was holding out for things being better this time - which they really were; amazing how much better when you can move about and have a great mw who's only just come on shift so is with you throughout. But as to guilt, well there is so much that is outside our control about pregnancy, labour, birth that there is nearly always something we could feel guilty about - and there are people I know who have gone for normal labours and ended with an emergency section. Bella is here, you very obviously love her, that's what matters.

Drama - good luck with the house! and Katie, hope you are settling in OK and not feeling too exhausted. Try not to lift heavy things!

Allstars - just in case you do go early, pom poms at the ready here too... xx

Hi Girls, just quickie before i pick up DS1 from nursery, just to say Gina no morning sickness for me yet but then i'm only 6 wks tomorrow and don't normally get it till about 7-8 wks, i am however super tired, constipated and have sore boobies also get little lightning bolt type sensations in womb country which i've not had before, but i have my booking in appt next tues so will ask MW about that got the same MW i had with DS1 in the end :-) thats gotta be a good sign right? XxXxXxX
PS: pom poms on stand-by Allstars!

Hello ladies.

Drama, great news about the house, I hope it will all turn out just like you want it to. My booking in appointment is next Thursday. The early scan I was planning to go for would have been tomorrow, but I am still determined not to have one, and dh thinks the same.

My sickness has come back, but it's not as bad as in my first pregnancy so that's a worry, even if I know it can be very different each time. Anyway, if it wasn't for this worry, my mind would have found another one to hang on to, so I'm just trying to think about my holiday and put it all on hold until my nuchal. A tiny voice in my head still says "wait first to see if you make it this far", but I'm just trying to accept that this will be here throughout my whole pregnancy, be it a long or a short one. Thanks God for this thread and for being able to offload!

Numpty, I hope Josie is feeling better now and is more settled?

Mimsy, still thinking of you, I hope you'll have a peaceful week-end.

Gina, when will you stop the antidepressants? I'm keeping my fingers crossed it will all go well. Also thinking of you and Little Poot in the run up to your scans.

Cantdo, are you around? How are you and how are the DDs?

Have a good Friday everyone, lots of love xxxx

Hello everyone, hope you are all doing ok?

I am feeling a bit sad today as one of my chickens died poor little thing and we're not sure why. Just hoping it does wipe through all of them....

Coffee Hope the sickness isn't too bad, when are you off on holiday?? Re the AD's I am on a tablet every other day for the next 2 weeks then back to the GP to see if I am ok, if so then I will stop taking them completely. So far I feel ok touch wood... I just want them out of my system now just so its one less thing to worry about.

No sickness at all at the moment but feeling shattered by about 3pm still so hoping thats a good sign. I am counting the days to the scan and am tyring to be positive and tell myself that everything will be fine this time.... Poot is your scan next Thurs/Fri?

Dramamama I know how you feel re the constipation I am so bloated and uncomfortable, it doesn't seem to matter what I eat nothing helps! Is everything going ok with the house?!

Pom Poms at the ready allstars

Just a quick post to say re constipation, can really recommend soft apricots (ie rehydrated dried ones) both in pregnancy and labour if you're allowed to eat - means you get Iron AND helps keep things moving iyswim. I also found doing yoga poses such as the 'cat' helped shift gas. Very glamorous...

Gina - will taking supplements such as Omega 3 and borage help? I think you can get non-fish sources of Omega 3, might be worth talking to herbalist or health food supplier (though it is in their interests to sell such supplements I guess).

Better go express milk while DD sleeps... think the fenugreek has boosted my supply too much, she's getting covered in milk at feeds now

xx

Thanks Numpty, I am currently trying apricots, apple juice (by the litre), kiwis and fibre bars.... So far nothings really helping my new every 5 day cycle!

I am booking in for a Reflexology session to see if that will help! Anyone here have any experience of this? I've never tried it before.

Numpty Hope Josie is doing well and the breast feeding is going better for you! xx

Hi everyone

Sorry to hear about your chicken Gina, that's really sad .

My other tip re constipation is exercise. I know it's the last thing you might feel like doing but I'm having no trouble in the bathroom department this time and it's the only pregnancy I've exercised through. Nothing massively strenuous, but it all helps. Plus plenty of water and not too many white carbs.

Never tried reflexology for constipation, but I had one treatment when I was two weeks overdue with DD. Not only was it blissful, I went into labour that night.

Glad to hear the fenugreek has helped Numpty, is the feeding getting easier now your supply is increased?

Anyone having trouble sleeping? I just can't seem to sleep at night even though I'm exhausted. Had a three hour nap this afternoon to make up for it, which is far from ideal!

Hi Catlady, I am having trouble sleeping as well. Not every night, but quite often. Most nights I wake up at 5-ish and can't get back to sleep until 6.30-7, so I am knackered in the morning.

Gina, how are you? When is your reflexology session? I never had one, but I hope it helps. I would suggest drinking a big glass of water every morning on an empty stomach, and also a bowl of porridge if you can stomach it (with dried fruit in it).

When is your scan, it's this coming week, isn't it? Little Poot, yours is on Friday, if I remember correctly? Many milestones coming up.

Hello to everybody else.

Morning lovely ladies.

Yes - my scan is on Friday. And I'm terrified. My symptoms have all but disappeared (apart from the tiredness, but I'm not really sleeping so that's no surprise) so now I'm convinced it'll be another MMC. And even if its not, I can't imagine 'passing' the nuchal scan, so I'm really not feeling good about the whole thing.

Sorry - not much positivity from here right now! Mimsy - how are you getting on? Is your follow up scan tomorrow? I can't imagine you're looking forward to that a whole lot either. Thinking of you. xxx

Kittens - are you ok? Hope all's well? Are you busy with work at the moment? Thinking a lot about you too. xxx

Love to everyone else. x

Hello ladies!

Poot I just read your post and thought I had typed it! Good luck on Friday, I'll be thinking of you.

My scan is next Monday and I'm terrified! I am tired and constipated but thats about it and so am also convinced that there will be no heartbeat when I get to the scan.... I am hoping that the the reason I think that my symptons are going is because I am getting used to them and so they feel "normal" now and becuase I'm approaching 12 weeks!

Coffee how are you feeling? I hope the sickness is easing? I have booked a reflexology session for Thursday after work, they claim that it can relieve stress and tension as well as easing sickness, tiredness and other "symptons" such as constipation! I will let you know what its like, I figured it was worth a try!!!

Crazycatlady I am getting through the night but waking a lot meaning I'm very tired by the time I get to the afternoon! I have been napping at the weekend which I don't normally do but it was lovely!! Good to know that the reflexology relaxed you, that was what I wanted to achieve!

Anyone heard from allstarsprincess??

Love to all I've missed, hope you are all ok and thinking of you. xxxx

Hello LittlePoot. I'm so sorry you are feeling so anxious. I know how hard it is trying not to let the waning of symptoms freak you out. People often say that sometimes they disappear for a few days and come back again so fingers crossed that's the case.

I've not been posting much on here lately. Work has been ok, not massively busy but ticking along. My other half's work has been rather quiet over the last couple of weeks so when we've both been off we've been trying to get out and about at bit and keep ourselves busy which is part of the reason I've not been on the thread much. Also, I must confess I am still kind of skim reading a bit when it comes to early pregnancy matters. I know a lot of you are very anxious and on a similar journey to one another at the moment. I feel a bit weird about coming on from time to time with a me, me, me post without acknowledging all of your individual circumstances which I'm not totally up on at the moment because of my own position. Hmmm, I hope that makes sense!

Where I'm at at the moment is that I have just come on this morning so later this week I will go for a few more blood tests and a scan and then I will have a follow up appointment to discuss the results on, I think, the 20th August. It's weird to think that this is only my 3rd period since last November!

It's been a strange time. My scans and disappointments seem to always parallel my mum's scans and disappointments. It's pretty much been this way over the last 3 years. They always seem to happen around the same time. Unfortunately it tends to mean that I have two things to get my head around and my mum is very tied up in her own anxiety and doesn't really give me the support I would like from her. She has just been told that her cancer will never go into 'remission' as it is a secondary cancer but that it will be managed on an ongoing basis. Lucky for her she lives relatively close to the best oncology dept in France and they have a fantastic healthcare system there but it does mean that she will always have to have Chemo. Sometimes she will get a break for a few months and sometimes not. Difficult, and scary for her I am sure and obviously I am worried too. I probably sound selfish under the circumstance, expecting something for myself from her but she has been quite exceptionally crap!

On a more jolly note, I have been reading with interest from those who have recently been to the Grace Kelly exhibition. I've not been yet but I did go to the 'Golden Age of Couture' exhibition a few years ago at the V&A which was amazing and pretty huge. I am a big lover of 40s and 50s fashion - to the point where I dress in that style pretty much permanently (generally the more casual version rather than swanning around in New Look gowns!). I don't know if any of you are interested as it's not quite as glam but there is also an exhibition of 'Horrockses' fashion house at Fashion and Textiles Museum at the moment who were a massive manufacturer of 'off the peg' fashions in that period.

Poot, I wish you all the luck in the world for Friday and will be checking in regularly to see how you're doing this week.

Mimsy, I hope you are ok. I hope you have pleasantly surprising news at your scan but understand how you are feeling about it right now.

Well wishes to all of you. I apologise that I am not able to get too involved in all the early weeks chat. I am sending messages to those who are most familiar to me but thinking of you all. x

Hi everyone,
I've been resting lots. DH was around all weekend so I left dealing with DS to him most of the time.

Last week was hard because I suddenly had the worst nausea and was quite short of breath - even just reading DS a story. I've never had this with any other pregnancy. It's just progesterone doing its thing, but sort of cruel if it is all to no avail!

So I spent a lot of the week trying to rest, but DS had other ideas. He knows something is up, and is being extra cheeky!

It seems to be easing today, so hope that's it gone.

My scan is tomorrow, so will let you all know. I am not expecting a miracle, but it would be nice.

Kittens, that exhibition sounds great. I miss London for all these fab things. I am looking forward to spending more time in LDN next year, as my brother+SIL+nephew are moving there for a year.

Numpty I hope poor Josie is feeling better from her cold. Poor wee mite. I'll give you a call one day this week and see how you are going.

Best wishes to everyone, all those with scans and sickness and constipation (thank progesterone for that too).

Hello everybody. Not much time now and not sure I have the chance to post properly tonight, but I just wanted to say to Mimsy that I?ll be thinking of you tomorrow and still hope that the news will be good. Maybe, just maybe that progesterone running around in your body could be a good sign? I will be keeping everything crossed. xxxx

So nice to hear from you kittens. Sounds like your mum has been having a really rough time too. Hard for you, at a time when you need support and she's got her own version of hell going on at the same time.

I hope the tests you're having bring some answers soon. Has anyone mentioned Ashermans? I am probably completely off the mark here but I read an article about it over the weekend as a cause of recurrent losses and it was something I hadn't heard of before.

Mimsy, I'm praying for a little miracle for you. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

And everyone who has scans coming up soon, goodness, it's overwhelming isn't it, the hope and the worry? I still have 3 weeks until mine, but as the countdown progresses I find myself dwelling on it more and more, and daily life becoming that bit harder to plod on through.

My scan is booked for what would have been John's due date. The coincidence is a bit much really. I keep ruminating over whether this is a good or a bad omen, which is obviously ridiculous, but in our reality where reason and fairness seems not to exist, my mind is wandering.

It's hot again in London today which is not helping the nausea. Might have to start the raindance again... xx

Hi Catlady, thanks for that, I have read about Asherman's and if that happens to be the case I will be very annoyed because the hospital assured me that the fact that I have had several EPRCs & a couple of terminations will not have caused any problems with future pregnancies. Anyway, I will ask about it at the scan this week to make sure everything is covered. The other thing I'm not sure they have included in the tests is the possibility of immunity to the foetus so I will have to ask about that too. I don't want to miss anything out. There was a lady in The Evening Standard a while back who had had about 12 miscarriages and then they found this was the problem and her next pregnancy was successful because they were able to give her medication to counteract this. Well, we'll see.....

I do wish people would stop asking me "So, are you thinking of having kids?" I'm 40 for god's sake! There's a good chance that by my age the answer is either going to be "No, I've chosen not to" (if they're lucky) or a whole upsetting story that will make them wish they had never asked!

It's so strange Catlady, it seems so common to read on our special threads of people having scans or due dates on dates of previous losses. It's happened to me a good couple of times too.

I know my mum has her own, very worrying stuff going on but unfortunately she is quite famous for being a little lacking in the compassion and warm and fluffy department! Put it this way, when she texted me to see how my scan had gone and I replied that I'd lost the baby again her reply was nothing more than "Bugger!". I was on the phone to her for over an hour last week and apart from asking what happened at my appointment she actually didn't ask me how I was once . I do give her a lot of emotional support myself and feel a bit sad that I don't much back from her. Oh well, I've had 40 years to get used to it! My grandma and auntie are a godsend.

Gina, have you tried Prune juice? That's quite good. Or Fybogel? Whenever I am given Codeine by the doctor/hospital and complain that it makes me constipated they just say "oh don't worry, just drink loads of water, you'll be fine". They seem to think that copious amounts of water will move it all along even if your gut is paralysed by meds so maybe you just need to drink 'til you slush about! - I know how it feels and you have my sympathy!

Allstars??????

Kittens, so annoying about people not minding their own business. You are right, it's so inconsiderate to ask something so personal, it makes me angry only thinking about it. I also had lots of questions about planning or not to have children, people advising me not to wait as it's best to have them young, other people telling me to wait and "live my life" before thinking about having children, etc. True, this was mostly before losing Silvia, so they were merely annoying, but I had someone ask me recently about when I am planning to complete my family and it made me so angry and bitter, how dare they. She isn't even a friend!

I sometimes think it would be better to give them a very blunt answer, I imagine their surprised faces, it's surely not something they would expect. But it's hard because this is so personal, you wouldn't want people to talk about it.

Catlady, if you start the raindance, please don't do it for Scotland, let it rain only in the South

I am sure it is not a bad omen to have the scan on John's due date, but I would have the same worries and I have become quite superstitious since February. I have also thought many times that being pregnant on my due date, in June, might bring along some sort of punishment... I hope to be proved wrong.

Little Poot, I think there is no way you can avoid anxiety in the run up to the scan. I am afraid I have no words of wisdom about dealing with this. I am freaking out as well because I didn't have any symptoms today. No nausea, not so much tiredness, nothing. I know this doesn't necessarily mean anything wrong, and I might wake up and be very sick tomorrow, but today I'm just worried. I am only 8 weeks, so the symptoms should be peaking up, not easing off.I clearly remember in my first pregnancy that they started to ease off at about 10 weeks, not so early. BUT I'm telling myself what I want to tell you, that anxiety doesn't mean anything - let's hang in there!

Anyway, we will be here for you and Gina and even if there is nothing we can say to make it better, we will be holding your hand. We will be there with you in the scan rooms and pray for a good outcome.

Much love xxxx

Hello, Apologies in advance for the rant.

Still no sign of littlestar yet. We were at the hospital on Saturday and shuffled from birth centre to delivery then back to birth centre. Apparently we are teetering on the edge of being high risk again as I am now dehydrated and anaemic (sp). I had a show on Thursday and am 1cm but not getting where I need to be fast enough (as far as they are concerned.)

Still having contractions and not progressing. Induction was mentioned at the delivery suite on Sat but we just cut them down. Baby seems fine but I am getting tired now. We managed to persuade our midwife to let us back home with some more pregaday and the promise that I would increase my fluid intake and be straight back if anything changed. I am back tomorrow morning for another check up and if they are not happy I think they are going to strap me down and try to kick things off properly. I have every faith that I am able to do this naturally but with each visit the midwives seem to be whispering more and pushing for intervention.

I have not been posting as it all seems quite indulgent of me to be moaning about my pregnancy when so many others would be happy to be where I am now.

I think the stress of all this is getting to me as I am beginning to resent that I have to post here. Not because of you lovely ladies but rather a 'what the hell did I do to deserve this' scenario. I read the other pregnancy posts and feel so angry that others can go along in a fog of joy and delight never having to know what we have gone through but then feel awful that I would want anyone to have to experience this. I am not even sure how to get this across.

Really sorry for such an indulgent moany post.

I am watching and wishing everyone well. I just am struggling to feel positive right now.

XX.