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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 2

1000 replies

LittlePoot · 05/07/2010 09:49

Dear all lovely ladies past, present and future. Welcome to support thread number two, to help us through the anxious TTC waiting, early scary weeks of pregnancy, nasty scans and tests, growing bumps and babies and everything in between. May this thread bring luck and (eventual) joy to us all and at least we'll all be here to hold eachothers' hands along the way. x

OP posts:
Crazycatlady · 12/07/2010 11:36

Hi everyone - hope you're all having a good Monday. Mimsy is your scan today? Hope all is ok.

DH has managed to get my nuchal scan brought forward to 10 August. Which is brilliant, but also awful. 10 August would have been John's due date. I'm going to stick with this date, and pray for good news, but if it's not, gosh, I just don't know how I'll cope. Feeling a bit shell shocked all of a sudden.

Still not sure about an early scan... I'll be 8 weeks this week.

At least it's cooled down in London xx

GinaFB · 12/07/2010 11:55

Hello ladies, I hope that you are all well and you haven't wilted too much in the heat over the weekend! I spent most of it in the shade outside reading or sleeing so all in all a fantastic weekend!!

LittlePoot I also have my 12 week scan in 14 days and I am very nervous about it. I have bloods and scan on the same day and then it can take up to 2 weeks to hear from them if I am classed as low risk and if higer risk then they call....

Drama, Crazy, Poot - What have you all decided about CVS? I am so confused and undecided about it, as you say there is always the 1 in any risk they calculate..... But what if I am the 1 that miscarries after the procedure and there was nothing wrong..... I am struggling to think straight about it.

Anyway enough of my moaning.

CrazyCat you have done a lovely job with the weather here today, its warm but there is a lovley breeze that is keeping my office cool!! Thanks V much!!

Numpty I'm sorry to hear that the BF isn't going as well as hoped, I'm afraid I have no advice at all as I've never experienced it. I just hope that it will get easier soon.

Hope everyone is ok and had a good weekend. Love to you all xx

LittlePoot · 12/07/2010 12:24

Two weeks Gina? Sod that! I think demanding asking nicely for the nuchal measurement and some discussion on the day would be perfectly reasonable, given the circumstances. My scan is on the Friday and its with a consultant rather than just a sonographer. I've been assured by the Fetal Med people that they will discuss the findings from the scan with me and the risk that suggests (although the blood test results won't come through for a few more days). I've got a CVS provisionally booked on the Monday morning, 2 weeks today, so I guess I'll see what the scan says before deciding. I'm really swinging at the moment from wanting to have the definitive test whatever, to not wanting to have it unless I get odds like 1:4 again. I guess there's no point thinking about it too hard before the scan - it could say anything. I'm now getting paranoid that despite seeing the heartbeat twice already, it will have stopped developing and the scan will be a complete disaster. I think its safer if I just get back to work and stop thinking altogether....

Sorry to be a bit self-obsessed. Likely to be a recurring feature in the next couple of weeks.... xxx

OP posts:
Crazycatlady · 12/07/2010 13:57

CVS is such a hard decision. At the moment, my thinking is that I won't have one unless my combined test result shows a higher risk than my background risk.

They can do same day CVS at St Thomas's which is what I had last time, so hopefully no need to book.

LP - stopping thinking sounds like a plan. I think I might do a big Amazon book order later to keep my mind busy for the next four weeks. Will let you all know if I come across any cracking reads xx

MimsyStarr · 12/07/2010 14:22

Hello everyone... been away in London for the weekend, had a brilliant time. It was just so lovely to be warm for once! The Aussie in me is not coping with my 3rd Scottish 'summer'. Went to the V&A and saw the Grace Kelly dresses (love all the vintage Dior), ate in some great restaurants, went to gallery and enjoyed Hyde Park and the lovely sun...

Trip on the sweaty tube was the low point ... as always!

Anyway, scan tomorrow am so will let you all know probably this time tomorrow. DH is away, so I will be on my own at the scan AGAIN! Sheesh. I am a tough nut though, so I will be OK.

Haven't really thought about CVS or anything this time. With the first pregnancy (Edwards Syndrome), had CVS but only really to confirm what we already knew - the Consultant at St Marys FMU in London (where we lived then) could see all the soft markers for the disease and was convinced what it was, even just from the 12 week scan. With DS, the Consultant was so brilliant and reassuring when she said that all looked good - I was completely confident enough to go without the CVS.

Interestingly, Mum was telling me this morning that in Brisbane you can now get a test for Down's etc at 8 weeks (I guess a blood test). Not much help to me here in Scotland though!

GinaFB · 12/07/2010 14:42

I meant to say this morning that I went to see my GP about stopping some antidepressant medication that I have been on for about a year. Although they never mentioned it in my last pregnancy it appears that the medication is not good to be taking in the third trimester as there is a 60% chance of premature labour, plus it can not be used when breastfeeding as it passes through to the baby. Plus the baby would be taken at birth to go through "withdrawal"..... I was frankly shocked when the MW said all of this to me and horrified that I wasn't told last time by the MW or GP. Its been agreed that I will start to come off them in the next 2 weeks to avoid the problem althogether as long as I am ok.... not sure what will happen if I find I need to continue taking them.......

Anyway a bit moany so apologies for that but needed to share it somewhere as I can't really in RL!!

GinaFB · 12/07/2010 14:43

mimsy good luck tomorrow. xx

Dramamama · 12/07/2010 15:17

8 WEEKS! i'm calling heathrow now..., yeah i wish i could just drop everything and go to oz half my family live there (perth) and it would be so good to see them, but seriously thats brilliant i wonder if they'll bring that to the uk?
mimsy i too am a fan of the vintage Dior i love the V&A DP had to physically stop me stroking the glass of the display cases in the fashion section last time we went , were going up at the begining of Aug for a wk (were both from ldn origionally so we like to keep in touch with our roots) but i must say i'm dreading the tube especially as i'm likely to be queasy by then; theres nothing worse then being stuck on the central line under a sweaty mans armpit whilst batteling morning (all the time) sickness.
Gina I'm undecided about the cvs, when i spoke to the doc (haven't been assigned a MW yet) she said she would see how my scan/bloods come back and take it from there as she is so sure everything will be ok this time round (wish i could be as sure!) so i think i'll see what happens there and then decide, i'm shoked it takes so long to get the results in some places! both with DS1 and Liam i heard back within about 2-3 days but the hospital here are brill (Royal Devon and Exeter) and i think i will prob have 1 of the 2 consultants i saw last time they were husband and wife! and so lovely really really caring people so i shall be in good hands no matter what, i had an amnio last time and hated every second i couldn't even look at the screen till the needle was out but i didn't have any probs after that symptoms like a really really mild stitch for maybe 10 mins and that was it, i kept having to remind myself i should be taking it easy! but i'd like to find out quicker this time as obviously i'm more anxious (aren't we all?) any word on allstar yet? i have pom poms on standby! XxXxXxXxX

allstarsprincess · 12/07/2010 17:12

Allstar here, still no littlestar just yet. Have been getting contractions on and off for over a week now. 3 visits to hospital and each time we are not regular/ established enough. They did give us an extra scan though to check baby was not getting stressed and he is just fine. Head down and in a great position for when it does finally happen. They reckon 6lb 11oz so far... Supposedly I have another 2.5 weeks to go which would make him 8lb 12oz at birth. Eek!

I am reading all the news on here but just taking it easy and trying to do as little as possible before he arrives.

I will keep you all posted. Xx

Dramamama · 12/07/2010 20:18

Well done allstar stay as chilled out as you can he'll be along when he's good and ready, my DS was T+8 and weighed in at 8ib 5oz's and it wasn't too bad at all so you'll be fine, put your feet up while you can! XxXxXxX

MimsyStarr · 12/07/2010 20:49

Wow, that must be tiring you out Allstars. Good luck with the resting... x

MimsyStarr · 12/07/2010 20:53

Gina, have the docs been able to replace your medication with something else? Hope they can work something out for you.

NumptyMum · 12/07/2010 23:25

Sympathies Allstars, you've got the opposite problem to me (both times my contractions have given up on me and had to be 'prompted') but as Mimsy says, must be v tiring. Perhaps it will happen sooner than later? DS was 8lb 12oz - I think it is different with second labours, body is already 'stretched' so it should be easier no matter what the size...

Mimsy - already said it but will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hope the emergency chocolate works, I find personally emergency cake fits the bill nicely (M&S cream Victoria Sponge, if anyone is buying...).

Drama - I think there was something in Mumsnet news roundup re the 8wk blood test recently so I guess it will become available here, just not yet unfortunately. However Nuchal and bloods will test for more, so hopefully reassure you more when you get there.

Mishtabel - not heard from you lately, hope the garage sale went OK and that all else is well?

Sorry not to say more to everyone else but must get to bed, xx.

Mishtabel · 13/07/2010 04:59

Hi everyone, long time, no post. Been so busy with kids off school, garage sale etc. I have my niece coming to stay shortly, on her way to the Whitsundays, lucky thing, so am determined to say hello to you all before she gets here

Mimsy, good luck for today. Will check in later. Your weekend sounds lovely. As for the weather, well don't mean to rub it in but it's 23 here at the moment, and I'd imagine it's warmer than that in Brisbane - not too bad for winter. The cooler weather must make for a more comfortable pregnancy though, so that can only be a good thing xx

Littlepoot, so happy that your last scan was so good (that's how long it's been since I've posted properly).. Will be counting down the days with you, and Gina, and Crazycat, Coffee, Drama and any other newly pregnant ladies I may have missed, to your next scans - gee there are so many, I can't keep up. The decision to have or not to have CVS is a hard one. I don't envy any of you there. It is so lovely to be able to share the journey with you all though

Numpty,I loved reading about Josie's arrival and her update. Hope the breastfeeding sorts itself out. Thankfully, I never had trouble with breastfeeding itself, but I have created my own little monster who still, at nearly 6 months, feeds 2-3 times a night! All my fault as I am too lazy to try to get her back to sleep any other way. She used to have a dummy, but now it seems like I am her dummy. Luckily I have extended my maternity leave til January (otherwise was meant to return last week). Josie is such a pretty name, love the meaning. Seems everyone here has a knack of picking lovely names - some I'd never thought of before. Hope your enjoying these early 'getting to know you' days. Keep the updates coming xx

Allstars, hopefully Littlestar isn't too far away. I admire the way you trust your body to do the right thing (as Numpty did too). With Bella, I talked my doctor into giving me a c-section that wasn't medically indicated, which was a major contribution to her problems when she was born. If I had let nature run it's course, she probably would have stayed safely in my belly for another 3-4 weeks, as I normally go two weeks over. Thankfully it all turned out well, but I still feel some guilt about that. Rest well xx

Drama, you were asking a while back about trans-cervical CVS's. I've had two and for me they felt just like a pap smear, if not even less uncomfortable. I think it depends on the position of the placenta which way they do it. Mine was low-lying. My first CVS itself was uneventful (though bad result), though I did have bleeding with the second one (and a good actual result - Bella) which left me on bed rest for a week. I think the bleeding was because I was a bit blasé about resting adequately afterward. So, if indeed you were to go down this path, I would suggest resting for the remainder of the day, whichever method they use. Good luck with whatever you decide xx

Kittens, how are you? Glad to see you don't have to wait for your next appointment to TTC but then that brings it's own fears I suppose. Did you discuss any hormonal support for next pregnancy (HCG or progesterone)? There's not a lot of research about HCG in early pregnancy, as as my consultant said, it's unethical to trial things on unborn babies, however have read lots of anecdotal stuff about it and as I said, my doc was a real believer in it. It's important however that it's started as early as possible in the pregnancy, so if this is something you are looking at doing, probably wouldn't hurt to have systems in place at the ready (ie making sure your doc will prescribe it, that it will be available at your chemist - wasn't at mine an I had to wait a couple of days for them to get it in). No need to explain re: your mum - I have one of those; love her to bits but drives me bonkers most of the time. We didn't even let her know Bella was sick until she was safely home from hospital as no doubt my well-meaning, though often clueless mum would have said something to make me feel worse. Poor mum. Wishing you well with those sticks xx

Can't, well done on the toilet training

Did DD1 end up with chickenpox? That would be hard with a little one to look after. I can't remember if the vaccine is in the baby immunisations or if it is given later (I should know, I realise). How's BabyCant? xx

Katie, if you happen to get online, hope your move went smoothly. I googled Hove one night to see where it was - lovely. What a nice time of year to move there. Not long for you now

So much more I meant to say, but have gone on way too much already and my niece just texted to say she'll be here soon. If I don't get a chance to post, know I'll be reading and thinking of you all xxx

allstarsprincess · 13/07/2010 08:05

Quick fingers crossed post for Mimsy. Thinking of you today.

Coffeeandchocolate · 13/07/2010 09:08

Hello ladies, things are manic for me at work for the moment, which is good as it's keeping me busy but not so good as it's keeping me away from the thread. Anyway, I just wanted to say to Mimsy that I am keeping my fingers crossed it all goes well today and I'll drop by later to see your news.

Numpty, it normally is emergency chocolate for me but as I said all I'm craving now are savoury things and as many carbs as possible. My morning sickness kicked in and I am dreading this week and the next, when I have to travel for work a couple of times and get up very early. But I just feel grateful to be pregnant again so I'm just trying to get on with it - not always easy and I might be back soon for a good moan.

Catlady, the Amazon order seems like a good idea. Well done to your husband! I completely understand why you wouldn't want an early scan, I thought I wanted one but changed my mind. You are exactly one week ahead of me, I'm 7 weeks tomorrow and I have my scan on 16 August.

Mishta, good to hear from you again. 23 degrees sounds lovely, enjoy

I have to dash, so sorry for not replying to everyone, but thinking of you all xxxx

LittlePoot · 13/07/2010 09:41

Good luck Mimsy! You're very brave going on your own. Hope all is well. xx

OP posts:
Havingkittens · 13/07/2010 11:47

Just a quickie as I've not been able to look in much recently. Wanted to just wish good luck to Mimsy.

Back soon!

GinaFB · 13/07/2010 12:47

Just a quicki to say GOOD LUCK to Mimsy! xx

MimsyStarr · 13/07/2010 13:10

Thanks everyone for your good wishes. You were all there with me in spirit. It wasn't good news I'm afraid to say. The sac was there measuring nearly 7 weeks as it should, but the foetus was very small, around 5 weeks size and, of course, no heart beat.

I am sure of my dates and have regular cycle, so I am definitely 7 weeks.

So they have booked me a scan in a week's time to see what happens. But not expecting anything other than a confirmation of what we saw today.

So. This is getting really tedious. I can just handle the losses OK, it is the TTC against the clock that is really doing my head in.

One good thing is that I will now be able to go to my Mammography appointment in a couple of weeks, as I most likely will not be pregnant then. My mum had breast cancer twice (two different primaries) so I am high risk and they have agreed to screen me even though I am not 50 yet. Kittens, I remember you were asking about that a while back. Did you look into it too?

Mishtabel, good to hear from you. How is your Mum getting on? Hope things are OK there. Yes you have made me jealous! High of 18 degrees here in Glasgow. I hate having to wear a jumper in summer. Grr.

Coffeeandchocolate · 13/07/2010 13:57

I am so sorry Mimsy. Thinking of you xxxx

LittlePoot · 13/07/2010 14:46

Oh Mimsy - I'm so sorry. That's really crap. All I can suggest is to try and immerse yourself in crap TV or some other thing to try and make the week pass quickly until the rescan. The hospital sound more hopeful than you are, and I know what you mean about being sure of your dates so I can see where you're coming from. I'm really sorry love - that's just not how it is meant to happen. xxx

OP posts:
Havingkittens · 13/07/2010 16:29

Oh, Mimsy, I'm so sorry hon. I totally get what you're saying about ttc against the clock. Every loss seems to take 5 months or so off the journey. Are you going to try getting referred to the miscarriage clinic? It's such a nightmare being in this constant limbo too. Not to mention that I never have time to loose the pregnancy weight before putting on a bit more!

I haven't looked into the breast check thing as most of the lumpiness has been obviously hormonal. I'm not high risk anyway. My risk is colon cancer as that's what my mum has so I get the fun colonoscopy!

Take care of yourself and maybe try to plan something lovely to do over the weekend.

Will catch up properly when I have more time at home.

Love to all x

allstarsprincess · 13/07/2010 22:06

Mimsy, I am sorry. As littlepoot says, distraction is the key at this point. We are here if you need us. Xx.

Coffeeandchocolate · 14/07/2010 08:47

Mimsy, I hope you are ok today? When is your dh back, I can only imagine how hard it is to be on your own after having such bad news.

As for me, I am freaking out - just like Catlady a few days ago. My nausea seems to vanish, it's definitely not as bad as in my first pregnancy. I had a very bad night and I was expecting it to be at its worst this morning, since it always seemed to hit when I am tired, but it's actually not too bad. I know my symptoms used to come and go in my first pregnancy, but I'm still very scared. I'm 7 weeks and last time it was very bad around this time, peaked at about 9 and then started to ease off. I am wondering if it's not as bad as last time because this is my second pregnancy?

I am already imagining all is lost...

Anyway, enough about me, I'd better do some work... Much love xxxx

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