Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 2

[LittlePoot]

Dear all lovely ladies past, present and future. Welcome to support thread number two, to help us through the anxious TTC waiting, early scary weeks of pregnancy, nasty scans and tests, growing bumps and babies and everything in between. May this thread bring luck and (eventual) joy to us all and at least we'll all be here to hold eachothers' hands along the way. x

Good Morning ladies. Just a quick post really.

Poot hope everything goes ok today. I'll be thinking of you.

Coffee I hope you have a fantastic holiday and can take some time to relax with your DH. I will be thinkig of you while I'm at work!!! Its perfectly natural to feel the way you do about checking in etc, its a painful reminder of Sylvia.

Although I have a different midwife I checked in in the same room, lay on the same bed to listen to the heartbeat (but I did request the same consultant as I have confidence in him). For some reason I currently feel like I want to "beat" the bad luck that we have had and am quite determined about it so I have been facing down all of the challenges..... not sure it will continue as I fully expect to be a gibbering wreck on Monday!

Cantdothisagain loving the breastvest! I also came across something that looked like a small tent last week that made me giggle!!

Allstars has baby allstar moved around? pom poms are under my desk and ready for shaking!!

I went for my first maternity reflexology session last night, it was incredible! I would recommend it to everyone! It was an hour but the time seemed to go so quickly and afterwards I felt positive and energised (until 9pm when I was fast asleep!!). Also strangly I saw colours when I had my eyes shut which is apparently normal but a very strange experience. I am going to continue to go now once a month!!

Was supposed to be a short post so apologies & love to all. xxx

Oh, Poot, it's today! Sending lots of luck and love! Everything crossed for you.

Gosh, I don't seem to get enough time on here to catch up properly with what's going on at the moment.

Coffee, sorry to hear how emotional you have been left feeling after your booking in. It's hard to be in a position where you are reminded of such an upsetting time. I think I have got quite proficient at separating things off in my head. I've been back to the same place so many times now that it really does feel like groundhog day! It is a good thing though in a way as, when the midwife or team know you and your history they will often go above and beyond to give you the care and support you need.

Sorry to hear some of you are feeling so sick. It's pretty miserable I know, even if you would rather feel sick than not sometimes - a very strange dilemma to find yourself in isn't it? I found sour things helped quite a lot. Citrus fruit and stuff like sour cherries - you know the dried ones in a packet?

I need to get off and do some work but I hope....

the little ones feel better soon,
the sicky ones have some respite with just enough queasiness for reassurance,
LittleStars makes an appearance soon,
Coffee has an amazing holiday,
Katie is settling in alright and feeling good,
Everyone leaves their scans with big smiles,
Mimsy is bearing up,
and that my memory of all that's going on here (it's quite busy at the mo!) improves so I don't miss anyone out next time.

All ok here. All looking present and correct in the womb department so that's one thing to cross off the list. Very relieved about that as that's probably one thing that isn't something you can really get around if there's a problem.

It went well. It actually went well. I had a scan and came out as 'average'! 11 weeks and 6 days with a nuchal fold of 1.5mm max (down to 1.2mm). I've never been so happy to be average. To be fair, I cried anyway. We still have to wait for the blood results, but I started off with a risk of 1:142 for my age and history, and the scan brought it up to 1:689. If I hadn't had the earlier Downs baby, it would have been 1:1800. CVS is cancelled. Bloods should come back next week. Baby is wriggly, with all visible organs in place. I got to be scanned by a consultant, and she used to work at the FMC with Nicolaides, and she was fantastic. She pointed out every little thing and talked me through everything (so I echo what kittens just said about taking advantage of the medical staff knowing your history). I'm still in shock, but I'm feeling so much more positive now. Obviously the blood tests can have a major impact, but based on the scan alone I have the equivalent of the background risk of a 15 year old after a previous Downs pregnancy. I'll take those odds.

Sorry - its pretty much me, me, me just now - I'll catch back up on everyone else soon. xxx

Oh Poot, I am so happy for you. I am all emotional now only imagining the huge relief you must have felt. What good news! xxxx

Yaaaaaay LittlePoot! That's just fantastic news. I'm so thrilled for you. x

Wonderful news Poot! I'm sitting here with my eyes welling up (with joy). You are out the other side of a huge milestone, which felt so unattainable a few weeks ago.

I'm so glad you were treated with care, and the detailed attention you needed.

I'm rushing about a bit today, but will check in again later xx

Okaaaay, I'm back at last for a proper post...

Kittens that is reassuring that everything looks ship shape on the inside. What is the next step in terms of testing?

Drama sorry you've been feeling so rotten. It's so difficult when there's no respite from the nausea.

Coffee I've probably missed you now but just wanted to say I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing holiday. When you get back we will both be that bit closer to our scans (I keep feeling like I have to caveat everything I say 'if I get that far') Mine is booked for 10th Aug.

Gina you sound like you have a very positive attitude about everything. I like your determination to beat the bad luck. I wish I could be so determined!

I'm feeling negative and overwhelmed at the moment. Every day that this pregnancy progresses I feel like I'll be that bit more torn up inside if it doesn't work out. I'm starting to feel like I just want to hide away for the next three weeks.

All my friends are either popping out children (another one yesterday...) or talking about planning the next one etc and I just can't bear it. I feel irrationally angry about the ease with which they talk about TTC and pregnancy but on the other hand wouldn't wish what we've been through on anyone. I love my friends and know they'd be heartbroken I'm not confiding in them, but emails like 'anyone pregnant yet?' just make me want to sink into my shoes.

Katie nothing from you of late, hope you're ok and settling in down in Hove.

lots of love xx

Poot I am so pleased for you, such wonderful news. I'm welling up here too, its just so great to hear things went well!!

xxxxx

Littlepoot, I'm so relieved for you! Great news. Hope you can enjoy having a lovely relaxing weekend in celebration (if that makes sense...).

Kittens, I'm glad all is OK re womb, when do you learn more re your test results/conclusions?

Catlady, Drama and all others with morning/all day sickness, I confess I never had any sickness (only a little nausea once or twice) so can only imagine how awful it must be - but on the other hand, how reassuring. Do ginger biscuits or mint tea help sooth it? I used to get travel sickness and I'm sure ginger is a remedy - not so sure about mint though.

Coffee - hope you have a good holiday, weather is lovely here today.

Better go, chaos about to descend (or ascend)... xx

Poot that is great news. Thank god.
Your consultant sounded fab.
Short post because DS is trying to grab phone! X
Just wanted to check on you Poot.

A lot of people swear by those sea sickness bands for morning sickness. I never got around to trying them so can't vouch for their efficacy but might be worth a go.

I should get my test results in a month. I think my appointment is on the 20th August. No more tests, all done now as far as I know. Although I'm curious why they don't test the man's sperm too. Might have to ask about that at my appointment.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Weirdly I'm finding exercise helps with the constant nausea. If I can drag myself to the gym, a gentle workout is just the ticket.

Eating every 2 hours, small portions of bland, salty food. Anything fatty or sugary is a no-no. Sadly spicy food is also on the no-list, even though I love it, it makes me feel worse afterwards. Going to bed early is also vital at the moment - any hint of tiredness and the nausea is unbearable.

Digestive biscuits with butter on are my bedtime snack to get me through the night.

I used the travel sickness bands when pregnant with DD and they did help quite a bit. Don't seem to be making a difference this time, but my eating and sleeping schedule seems to be keeping it relatively under control for now.

Ginger nuts (with butter on) also helping, although for some reason I can't stomach normal ginger. Crystalised ginger or that nice sushi ginger really helped last time (perhaps that's why...!)

Thought I'd share in case it helps any of the other sicky ladies!

Kittens that does seem strange that the man doesn't get tested too? Must be a sensible reason for it, but I'd certainly be asking too.

Enjoy the weekend xx

Yay LP! That's great news.

Nausea - I echo Kittens with the sour stuff. And carbs. I found those bands brilliant in pregnancy 2, when I was really sick and they promoted me to feeling just horribly nauseous, but they had little impact on pregnancy 3 when I just felt horribly nauseous anyway. And - embarrassed to say this - pregnancy 4 I was too paranoid to try them in case they made me feel better and I panicked over loss of symptoms...

Yay, Littlepoot, so so happy for you. Yes, isn't it lovely to be considered 'average' in this repect. That is just so great xxx

I hope you don't mind if I indulge in a 'me' post, but a couple of days ago I had a really scary thing happen re: Bella, that just freaked me out a bit, and I just want to share.

I took Bella to the baby clinic for her 6 month check-up and when she got undressed for her weigh, we saw she had a tick on her, at her right armpit. I'd seen it two days before and thought it was just a little scratch or something, but now it was obviously a tick. Both myself and the nurse didn't feel confident to remove it with it's head intact so I made an appointment at the doctors to have them remove it. The appointment was over an hour away, so after my google results on ticks brought up 'My baby nearly died from a tick' and 'ticks pose the greatest threats to infants' etc I rang ED and asked them if I should bring her to them. They told me as long as she wasn't vomiting, upset or excessively tired, it would be okay to wait for our doctor appointment. I decided to leave early for the doctor anyway. On the way there, Bella was crying, then silent. My 15yr old DD was in the back with her and said 'that was strange, she was crying then suddenly went to sleep. Her heads flopped forward'. I asked if she was okay. 'I can't wake her up' 'TRY HARDER'. 'she won't wake up' Me: is she breathing? 'i don't know'. As I was in the direction of the hospital, I didn't want to waste time pulling over and checking for myself. The words 'excessively tired' and flashbacks to 17 years ago were going through my head, so I planted the foot and rang for an ambulance. The whole time I was on the phone to them, answering their questions and following their orders, she would not wake. A couple of times she briefly opened her eyes, then went straight back to sleep. It felt like an eternity, but in actual fact would have only been a few minutes. When I knew I was near the ambulance depot, I pulled over, and jumped in the back seat - she was a good colour, so I knew she would be right. Within a couple of seconds she started opening her eyes and by the time the ambulance got there, she was smiling. I felt so relieved, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I also felt like a bit of an idiot. Bella must have just chosen that time to have a really good, deep sleep and here I was, jumping to the worst possible conclusion!! The ambo's were happy with her, and I was happy with her, so I continued to the doctor where the tick was removed (though the doctor obviously had no idea about how to remove a tick and left it's disgusting head still embedded). Anyway, I just had to keep my eye on her for the next 24 hours, for signs of paralysis or a reaction, but she was fine!
Oh how I hate being the kind of person that panics in situations like these. I get angry that I have never known what it is like to be one of those parents who are chilled, and that I'm not able to enjoy babyhood to the full. Even though I am so happy at times that I could squeal like an excited child, there is always a voice in the back of my head reminding me that things could change any moment and to prepare for the worst cause it could happen. I hate that. It's not like I hold myself back from loving Bella, as that's just not possible, but it's just so scary at times. Anyway, I know I've thought this with my other girls too, and eventually sort of gotten over it to an extent, so I shall stop my whingeing. I feel better getting it all out though.

Sorry for no individual posts but I think I have taken up my fast share of the thread today and as its the weekend, I'd better get back to my girls (and man) Much love to you all xxx

Mishtabel - I don't think anyone can be calm in a situation like this, and I think it's worse when you're in a car, you feel more helpless. I had something similar happen with DS, when I'd never had any previous reason to fear for the worst (ie straightforward pregnancy etc). He was around 1yo I think, and I was off to see friends. I'd just parked the car when DS threw up copiously, everywhere. He was bright afterwards, so I just cleaned up best as I could then we drove off to Woolies (sadly missed for such emergencies now...) and got a fresh set of clothes/coat etc. I got him changed, he promptly threw up again all over that set and then went into really deep sleep, just as you described. But when he sleeps, he looked like death baby, really pale with blue above his lips (DD doesn't get this so bad, thank goodness). So I was just the same, was on my way home but panicked, stopped the car, tried to wake him, couldn't, would have rung 999 but figured I was quicker to drive to the children's A&E. All I could think of was that he'd had a reaction to the peanut butter sandwiches he'd eaten just earlier. Of course, I got to A&E and they said if he HAD reacted to peanut butter it would have been immediately, not after 1-2hours, and that it was a norovirus bug. Cue huge relief. After that I got very used to being thrown up on as he's had it at least 3 times since... So you are not alone in the panic department.

I'm really glad to hear that all is well with Bella .

Hello everyone so sorry i have been away so long, our internet is not getting set up until 6th August (!) but OH has borrowed a dongle from work this weekend so i can finally check in.

So much to catch up on so sorry if i have missed anything but huge congratulations to LP on her scan, what super news. Mimsy i'm very sorry to hear yours didn't bring better news, you sound like you are being very brave - thinking of you.

Allstars sounds like it won't be too long now, how exciting. Hoping everything kicks off properly soon!

Kittens glad to hear your tests are all done and there are no problems with your womb, fingers crossed you get some answers soon. Sorry your mum has not been as supportive as you would have liked but hopefully we can make up a bit for that here.

Mishtabel very glad to hear Bella was ok, it must have been a very scary time for you. Don't worry about panicking though i'm sure we would all have done the same, that is what the emergency services are there for!

Lots of scans coming up so good luck to everyone for those. Scary times i know and i will be keeping my fingers crossed for you all x

As for me i am absolutely loving it down here in Hove, the flat is gorgeous and we just about have everything unpacked/sorted now. I won't lie it has been a massive stress but it's so nice to be closer to friends and family and it's just a 5 minute walk from my front door to the beach

Baby wise i have 3.5 weeks to go, its really crept up on me what with the move and we are getting very excited now. I do keep getting quite stressed and emotional about silly things but i think it's just the hormones and getting quite overcome by the enormity of what is about to happen - i don't know too much about babies at all

Have had a bit of a nightmare getting my antenatal care sorted so late on as there was such a long wait to see the midwife but i hounded them and am finally booked in now. At 37 weeks i thought it was quite important i knew where to go and who to call should i go into labour!

Anyway i must dash i have my nieces 2nd birthday party to go to! Lots of love to all and i hope to check in again a bit sooner next time xxx

Happy to see you back katiecubs. I'm still following your progress!

Glad you're enjoying Hove and I shouldn't worry too much about not knowing too much about babies. I didn't before having my first and it worked out okay!

Katie - it's important to remember that no-one knows ANYTHING about their particular new baby. I know a tiny bit about babies having had DS, but I'm still getting to know DD and having to re-learn loads. I do know that I'm better with older children though, it's so hard to figure out what a baby is needing! Love her loads though. So, read the baby books, close them, and do what works best for you. Really pleased you're settled into the new flat; try to rest up and enjoy the next few weeks .

Good morning/evening all,
It's nearly 7am here and family still sleeping. I love being the only one awake. Bella is in bed next to me, just opened her eyes and gave me a dreamy smile before going back to sleep

Katie, lovely to hear you're settled. I did google Hove, and it looks like a lovely spot. What a relief the move is over. As someone who also moved house late in pregnancy (though not as late as you) I know how horrible it truly is. So close for you now. At least you should get lovely seabreezes to get you through your last few weeks. As for not knowing much about babies, I had a 13 year gap between Bella and Tanika, so I felt I also knew nothing. Had to ask friends about the most basic stuff. But it won't be long, and no one will know your baby quite like you do - you will be your own babies expert

Numpty (and Katie), thanks for your reassurance that I might just be more normal than I think. Oh Numpty I hate it when babies look dead (to put it very bluntly) when they sleep. Years ago I used to sometimes feel like waking strangers babies when they had that look. Luckily I refrained as I can't imagine it would have gone down too well with the parents! (can you just imagine?!) I suppose we can all panic when it comes to our own kids though. I used to live across the road from a nurse who chopped her son's toe off with the lawn mower. She was beside herself, screaming, running around in circles. I wasn't a nurse at the time but I was the one who had to take control of the situation as she was in such a panic. What happened with Bella Thursday woke me up a bit though, as even when the 'emergency' was over, I was still expecting the worse (ie paralysis/delayed reaction) and spent the night at my mil's as she lives closer to the hospital. I have just had enough of not trusting life. I quite like quotes, and use them to help remind me of things - the quote I remembered last night, and one I have decided I am going to try to live by is (corny as it may be) 'Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, and that is why it is called the present'. Nothing can change the past, who knows what lies ahead for any of us in the future, so I'm just going to try to make the most of every day and throw myself into it. Kisses to your babies xx

To all those who are feeling nauseated, I hope, as someone said, you have just enough to be reassuring. I used to only get hungry, though with Bella the injections of HCG made me feel a bit ill. So think of it as an abundance of pregnancy hormones - though this probably doesn't help much I realise

To those with scans coming up (losing track here), all the very very best.

Allstars, how are you going - still around?

Kittens, so glad the fundamentals seem to have passed the test. Good luck with the rest. Sorry if it seems like I always bring up cats with you, but I must say I am quite cranky with mine ATM, as I am sure that is how Bella got her tick - the cat is fascinated with her and likes to sit beside her (not anymore I'm afraid puss). Do you get any dangerous ticks (or ticks at all) over there? Horrible things. Hope the next month passes quickly for you xxx

Mimsy, how are you? Don't worry about replying if you're not up to it xx

Can't and Shangrila, kisses to you and your babes xx

It's almost 8am now, suppose I had better shut up now and do something

Love to you all xxxx

Thank you Numpty and Mishtabel glad to know i shouldn't feel too scared about not knowing anything! I actually had an NCT class today and we did quite a bit on actually looking after the baby which has helped me feel slightly less clueless.

Mishtabel that is a lovely quote and one that i'm sure can be of help to us all.

Gina am i right in thinking you may have your scan tomorrow? If so i will be sitting on the bench keeping everything crossed for you - good luck and let us know how it goes.

Katie xxx

Hello Ladies, really quick post from my phone to say hi to everyone!!

Katie, thanks yes it is tomorrow, I'm actually quite relaxed at the moment, tomorrow morning will be a different matter I think!!

X

Hi everyone. I'm fine, no sign of the bleeding yet.

I called the hospital on Friday about perhaps going the medical management route - but they don't offer it on an outpatient basis. I'd have to stay in the ward for the day - frankly I'd rather have the EPRC. I think I will book in for one later in the week, and hopefully (like last time), I won't need it.

Mishtabel - your story gave me goosebumps. I would have done exactly the same thing. I hope the doctor got the rest of the tick's head out?

Katiecubs, I love the sound of your new setup. Hope you can do lots of quality nesting in the next few weeks. x

Good luck for tomorrow, GinaFB x

Gina - good luck from me too... xx

Thinking of you today Gina and hoping for the very best.

Mishtabel thank you for sharing that lovely quote. For what it's worth I think there are very few (lucky/odd?) parents out there who are able to be blase about their children's health. It's totally natural and normal to feel the way you did. Glad Bella was ok.

Lovely to hear from you Katie, sounds like you're settling in down there nicely. I too had absolutely no idea what to do with a baby before DD arrived. I didn't even know how to change a nappy. You sort of figure it out as you go along though so don't worry! I used to run through a checklist in my mind when DD was a newborn and was crying for something - hungry? dirty? tired? too cold/hot? in need of a cuddle? One of those usually sorted it and the mental checklist kept me calm xx

Gina sweetie - wishing you all the luck in the world for today. I'll be thinking of you. Hope you're still managing to feel calm (you're a better woman than me if you are!).

And Katie - great to hear from you down in sunny Hove. Am very jealous! Hubby was in Brighton for work last week and agreed with me that we never should have left. A bit late now though unfortunately - if we move again it would need to be further west so we're nearer to my mum (who's in West Wales). Anyway - hope you're enjoying the lovely sea air and managing to sleep through the dawn seagull chorus! And, although I also know precisely nothing about babies, I'm sure that's nothing to worry about. Babies don't know anything about anything, so as long as they get some food and some cuddles, surely you can pick the rest up as you go along? Oh, and clean nappies. But in my (limited) experience they're less tricky than I thought. Crazycat's checklist sounds ideal (I'll be making a note and sticking to the fridge....) You'll be fine! xxx

Mimsy - I'm sorry things don't seem to be moving yet. The all day 'medically managed' thing is the same as they do here - that's what I had to do for my termination. It wasn't great, I have to say, but possibly a bit kinder on your body (if not your head) than an ERPC. I hope things get sorted for you soon honey - this waiting is so difficult.

Re: last week's nausea - weirdly, I found nectarines made me feel a bit brighter - juicy and not too sweet. And melon - the green one with the orange middle (sorry, can't remember which one's which). My symptoms did really wind down over the last couple of weeks though (from 10 1/2 weeks) and the scan was fine - so don't worry if they come and go.

Sorry - this post is getting long (couldn't get onto the computer at the weekend). Love to everyone else and pom-poms still a rustling for the prompt arrival of the littlest star. xxxxx