Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 2

[LittlePoot]

Dear all lovely ladies past, present and future. Welcome to support thread number two, to help us through the anxious TTC waiting, early scary weeks of pregnancy, nasty scans and tests, growing bumps and babies and everything in between. May this thread bring luck and (eventual) joy to us all and at least we'll all be here to hold eachothers' hands along the way. x

thank you so much for your post havingkittens.
first time i have felt comforted all day :)

You're welcome Sarahmia.

Erm, I have a confession to make. I am not the brave invincible warrior I have been masquerading as for the last week . I am miserable, crumpled, grumpy, angry, downtrodden with occasional glimpses of dispair and hopelessness. Off to buy wine now. Just as well my OH is heading home soon otherwise I would be quite inclined to go and sit under my duvet drinking it straight out of the bottle.

oh Kittens. Not surprised....There are times when wine from the bottle under the duvet are excusable and this is one of them. x

you have no idea how much i relate to that, after we had bad news the second time, i came home and drank an entire bottle of wine.. alone. it was rather lovely. :)but not as good as the morphine drip i stayed on for 2 hours after the first loss.
we all have strong days and rubbish days.

Exactly Sarah - I had a bottle to myself every eve all summer aftr my second loss. It was my only way to get by. Now I'm TTC again I'm off it altogether. Kittens hope you sloshed the evening away with your OH. not going to offer any condolences, you've heard them all bfore...

Sarahmia, morphine is amazing isn't it? disappointingly they didn't offer me it this time. After my first loss me and dh bought a pack of ten. Smoked them all in the first week after 8 years of abstinance and drank every night.

I've always hated gas and air in labour before - it made me feel really out of control. But this time around I absolutely loved it and wouldn't let it go even after I had an epidural. We knew Fern wouldn't live for long if at all and the gas and air numbed me enough to just take the edge off how I was feeling. I would quite happily have brought a supply home with me.

morphine is amazing.. it was literally the only thing that helped. they kept coming in to take out the drip and i was like, 5 more minutes???

yeah, my grandpa died just before I had that termination and my aunt had always felt guilty his last few days were on morphine. i was able to reassure her it would be the way i'd want to go. I couldn't believe I could cope with something so horrible and it just took away the emotion for me. can see why its addictive...

Just popping in my drug-fuelled flu haze to say I got a call from the geneticist this afternoon and all's clear. Hooray!

Sarahmia, if I were in your position I would have a scan, if only because I am the type who likes a LOT of information.

Kittens, sorry you're feeling so rubbish. I hope the wine helped.

btw sarahmia, my friend bled all through 3 successful pregnancies. The last one the placenta was coming away a bit but was fine. AFAIK red blood is the issue.

hello again. I am now 4 days late and am going to get a test at lunchtime. thing is as I had a uti for ages we hadn't really been dtd so didn't think could be pg. i'm guessing that this is my body getting back to normal so my cycles wont be as accurate as they were before. (apart from when pg I have only ever had two periods which weren't when i expectd them. i'm usually spot on the money.)

anyway despite the overwhelming evidence, and despite everything I know, I cant help daydreaming about how i'll deal with an August baby. Maybe it's immaculate?! I'll let you know if I'm back on the rollercoaster...

sorry ghislaine just wrapped up in myself. Congratulations on your all clear. x

bfn. :( back to plan a

Sorry to hear that manitz. My cycles have been up the wazoo since the termination. Long. Then ok. Lovely intervals of weird mid-cycle bleeding. Possibly a polyp. Hysteroscopy. Oh, not a polyp. Then long. More mid-cycle bleeding. I find myself muttering the dreaded "relax. It'll happen" to myself while I try not to become obsessed with TTC. Hah!

Anyway, no need to apologise to me. The chances of something being untoward were minute, and this time I'm so pleased to be on the right side of the odds.

Hope everyone is bearing up in the run-up to Christmas. I have just found out that a parcel of presents I sent overseas two weeks ago (at a cost of £85 for guaranteed three day delivery) has only left London this morning. Grrr. I'm entitled to a full refund on the postage but I'll need to make some phone calls to arrange emergency presents.

grr re your post. my antipodean relatives used to send us a calendar and a case of honey. every year. Can't your relatives just have their pressies a couple of days late?

it's impossible not to be obsessed. I've noticed over the last coupel of days that I'm late but only today really thought i ought to test. Yet still on the journey in i'm thinking of names and what if it's twins? as well as the inevitable other what ifs.

To conceive ds I used a persona. it took two months. i dont know what you are using and have never used an ovulation thingy so dont know if any better. might help if cycles a bit screwy. I've also had a bit of extra bleeding guess I'm just sorting myself out.

Yes, usually I would just tell people to wait, but I've arranged presents "on the ground" for everyone too. So they'll be getting something on the day anyway now except for one person and I don't want anyone to be left out.

I've been using OPKs and have had ovulation tracking via ultrasound a couple of times as well (one time resulted in my trisomy pregnancy). I think I am simply not that fertile - we used NFP for 8 years before starting TTC and never had a scare. With each month I wonder if this will be my only experience of pregnancy and I find the prospect of that bleak.

Hi everyone.

Manitz, sorry about the BFN and the messed-up cycle. Good luck with TTC in the new year.

Sarah, congratulations, tentatively. I identify with how you feel. I had bleeding early on with the two babies I lost and therefore had early scans, neither of which showed that my babies would ultimately be seen via later ultrasound as terminally sick. In the last pregnancy that led to Babycant, I had a little brown bleeding in week 10 and pretended it wasnt happening because I couldn't bear another early scan that woiuld say it was all okay only for the nuchal, or even worse the anomaly scan, to show the baby couldn't live.
Oh and I identify with the morphine thing. It carried me through my second lost baby's birth, though it also sent me to sleep during labour.... oops...

Louzie, how are you?

Kittens, you have every right to be pissed off, angry, frustrated, etc. Have you wondered about DH's sperm? Bezzy who used to post here read about some phenomenon where women with easily fertilized eggs were somehow managing to get pregnant with sperm that had been hanging around a while and were thus past their best. The proposed solution was to not shag with intent until v near ovulation, before which time the man needs to get rid of sperm himself... I think... anyway I was q convinced by it as Bezzy, me, Bee, you, we all conceive v easily, but have had numerous babies not make it. The theory is that our eggs are a bit too eager and hijack substandard sperm. Hey, well it's better than admitting our eggs might be a bit aged, isn't it?! Seriously thoguh I wonder if you might look into that as well asd the other stuff.
Can see why you are feeling crap though and I hope you do manage to enjoy Christmas in some way.

Peanut, hello and good luck with the next round of IVF. Are you returning to Turkey?

Coffee, GOOD LUCK TOMORROW. I know it will go well, because I had a scan on the 23rd Dec last year, and it went well. I also know how scary it feels, so consider your hand held.

Hi Mimsy, how are you?

Anyone heard from Catlady?

Ghislaine, can't remember where you posted this, but you WILL get pregnant again, however long it takes; please don't lose hope.

Hi to Poot, Mishta, Shangrila, Katie, Allstars, Numpty, and everyone else. I'll come back to check on Coffee tomorrow.

Hi all, just a quick message, and sorry in advance for lack of personals as we got the keys to the house today (yay!) and have been very busy.

Just want to wish you luck Coffee, though I'm sure you don't need it. Hopefully you'll gave a more relaxed Christmas for it though xx

Also, Kittens, I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of contacting my OB and explaining your situation, asking him if he knew anyone over there who offered HCG injections for early pregnancy (as he worked in England for a long time many years ago) l He just got back to me then, giving me the name of John Erian in Orpinton (?sp) Kent. He said if you're interested, you could perhaps call the receptionist and see if he offers it. Otherwise he said, there should be a few doctors in the London area who do offer it, as that is where he started using it 25 years ago. Anyway if/when you want to know more about it, let me know (don't want to go on about it if you're not in that place right now). Much love xx

And also much love and a Merry Christmas to everyone else. Have been reading and nodding my head with the drug and alcohol discussion xxx

Hello

Great news Ghislaine that you have the all clear.

Sorry to hear about your BFN Manitz, boozy christmas for us then and fingers crossed for next year. x

cantdo, interesting idea about the sperm. Everytime I've asked about sperm they've told me that these problems are generally not due to the sperm and that it's impossible to test because each new batch is different. The don't seem to be interested in persuing any research on that side of things.

I am going to the Dr later today to see if he can refer me to Dr Shehata on the NHS for NK Cell testing. It would be great if I could see him without forking out loads of money. Especially if I need it later to pay for any other treatment.

I found out about something interesting yesterday through another MNer which I thought I'd pass on. Especially as Sarahmia was asking about PGD. There is an IVF centre in Nottingham, called Nottingham CARE that are the only place to carry out this pioneering treatment, a bit like PGD but more involved. Rather than me trying to explain, which would basically be me recounting what I've read in my own bumbling words, have a look on their website www.carefertility.com/genetics-programme-sc2/ and download the info on Array CGH to get a better idea. Very expensive from what I can see, but worth knowing about if you've reached that point.

Thanks for the info about HCG injections Mishtabel. I will ask my Doctor about that as well. It's tricky because I think you can only get one referral and I'm kind of looking for answers for 3 different things which I suspect aren't all offered by one person!

Thinking of coffeeandchocolate and hoping all goes well tomorrow.

Yes, I was wondering about Catlady. Last time she was on she seemed to be deeply ensconced in work trying to earn as much as possible before her maternity leave so I'm hoping that's why she's been quiet.

I might have to be a bit scarce for a bit. Obviously won't be on much over Christmas, but also, OH complained that I was spending so much time with my head in the computer that he was feeling neglected. I've been a bit obsessive about finding out info on how to avoid this mess again next time that we've not spent as much time communicating as we should. We've both been feeling a bit out on our own so I think we need to spend some time together.

I hope everyone is well and all lurgies have faded away. I wish you all a marvellous Christmas and all the joy you deserve in the New Year! Thank you so much for all being here for me and each other this year. xxx

Good luck for today Coffee. I have everything crossed for you.

Hello ladies, I hope you are all well, apologies for my absence I have been poorly and very pre occupied with sorting things out at work and home. It is my last full day at work and I'm very excited about having a break before all hell breaks loose!! only 6 weeks to go now.

I was just really posting to send you all my best I have been lurking but found that there really isn't enough time in the day to post properly and hope to do much better in teh New Year once at home!

Coffee, I hope it all goes well today and I look forward to hearing lots of good news.

With Seasons Greetings to you all xxx

Hello all, just wanted to pop on quickly to wish you all a merry christmas and happy new year :)

All is ok here, had been sleeping a bit better, then had a bad few nights with just 3/4 hours but managed to get quite a decent night last night. Went to the doctors yesterday and she reassure me that it wouldn't do me any harm in the long run and that my body clock should adjust back to normal in time - i'm just not used to being able to sleep!

Looking forward to christmas, we will be at my parents and then OH's parents are coming to ours on boxing day - i think Felix will be completely spoilt, i have a little pudding outfit to dress him up in too

Welcome back sarah and congrats on the pregnancy!

Good luck today Coffee you will be just fine

Sorry Manitz on the BFN, but at least you can enjoy the christmas food and drink and then get cracking again in the new year

Great news you got the all clear Ghislaine

Kittens never feel the need to put on a pretence on here, feel free to rant away we are always here for you. Really hoping you and your OH have a lovely Christmas together.

Lots of love to everyone else - have a great holiday! x

Cross posted Gina - Happy Christmas and enjoy your last day at work - ahhh so exciting! x

Don't worry Katie, I do feel I can be myself on here. It was just a weird one because for a good couple of days after the ERPC I was fine and thought "Gosh, I must be getting numb to all of this after so many disappointments" but as predicted it caught up with me!