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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 2

1000 replies

LittlePoot · 05/07/2010 09:49

Dear all lovely ladies past, present and future. Welcome to support thread number two, to help us through the anxious TTC waiting, early scary weeks of pregnancy, nasty scans and tests, growing bumps and babies and everything in between. May this thread bring luck and (eventual) joy to us all and at least we'll all be here to hold eachothers' hands along the way. x

OP posts:
louzie · 13/12/2010 19:09

So sorry Kittens - had been thinking about you all day today. Please look after yourself and take comfort from the fact that we're all wishing you well x

flower11 · 13/12/2010 19:52

So sorry kittens, thinking of you xx

Havingkittens · 13/12/2010 21:15

Thank you all for your lovely thoughts and offers of support. I am, strangely, doing ok at the moment. I think I must've absorbed some of the impact last week as I was, for the most part, expecting this outcome.

OH just cooked me dinner and I'm having my first glass of wine in weeks. I expect it will hit me and I will probably feel rather more sorry for myself tomorrow afternoon after I come round from the anesthetic.

It's going to be a strange Christmas but at least I will be surrounded by mine and my OH's lovely family and will have various social things to keep my spirits bouyed. The weirdest thing is that last year I found out I was pregnant 2 days before Christmas. A lot of water under the bridge since then.

I'm glad to hear you have another appointment with your consultant Coffee, I hope it brings you peace of mind.

manitz · 13/12/2010 21:38

Hi Kitten, So sorry it was not good news. I don't know what to say but can only echo what others have said. take care. xx

GinaFB · 13/12/2010 23:14

So sorry Kittens. Hope it goes as well as can be expected tomorrow xxx

MimsyStarr · 14/12/2010 00:23

Kittens, I want to give you a big hug. I'm so sorry.

minstrel75 · 14/12/2010 00:56

So, so sorry kittens that you didn't get better news. Sending you big hugs for tomorrow and the days ahead x x

Mishtabel · 14/12/2010 07:59

So, so sorry to hear that Kittens. Take care xxx

Coffeeandchocolate · 14/12/2010 09:54

Kittens, thinking of you today, I hope they take good care of you. Please let us know how you are when you feel up to it - no rush at all though. xxxx

shangrila · 14/12/2010 10:24

Oh kittens, I'm so sad to read your news. Strength to get through today and then just be kind to yourself.
Thinking of you and your man. x

peanuthead · 14/12/2010 13:46

Kittens - so sorry to hear your news. Be gentle to yourself - and lots of wine...
xxx

NatzCNL · 14/12/2010 18:24

Have been absent for a few days due to horrible tummy bug attacking me and the family.

Kittens, Im so sorry, I really hoped it would be better news. I hope you are ok as can be. Sending you big hugs xxx

eavers · 14/12/2010 19:51

kittens - so sorry. take care of youself

mystified76 · 14/12/2010 20:31

Hello - i'm sorry to post at such a sad time for you Kittens. I have posted on the other thread as my brother and his wife had a termination at the beginning of Nov and I've found this thread to be so helpful.

We scattered my neices ashes on monday and then my sil told me that she has just had a positive pregnancy test - her termination was only 6 weeks ago - has this happened to anyone else? Is it the left-over hormones playing their last cruel trick on her or could she be pregnant so quickly?

katiecubs · 14/12/2010 22:04

Hi mystified so sorry for the loss of your niece - hope your brother and sil are ok as they can be, sounds like you must be a great support for them.

I guess the positive test could be either, it's possible to get pregnant again so quickly but also possible that there may be retained products (sorry) causing a positive result - did she ever test a few week after and get a negative? Really hoping that it's the former x

Havingkittens · 14/12/2010 22:16

Thank you ladies, I am not feeling too bad, although I look a bit like I've seen a ghost! My face is the colour of the brie I've been hiding from for 2 months. Emotionally it still hasn't really caught up with me yet. I'm still waiting for the crash. I do suspect my bubble of cynicism has protected me a little more each time but I am obviously scared about my dwindling chances of success. Once I get past this and into the New Year I will explore my options. The consultant I saw has already sent me a lovely email checking everything went alright and offering to help in an way he can including sending me a link to contact info to discuss egg donation if it's something I want to consider. I will try to ask him what he knows about NK testing on the NHS or privately and also about the success rates of accupuncture etc for miscarriage prevention before exploring that route but might drop you a line, Peanuthead to ask you about your thoughts and experiences if we go that route. I am really touched to hear from Peanuthead, Shangrilla & Gina. We don't hear much from you on here. I hope all is well with you ladies. It's so kind of you to pop back in and check in on me.

Mystified, I'm so sorry to hear of your brother and sister in law's loss. It really is such an unfair situation. When I had my 2nd termination I continued to have spotting and cramping for longer than I should've. I went back to the doctors and she did a pregnancy test which came out positive. The next morning I went to the EPU for a scan and it turned out that there was still some tissue remaining after the termination and this was the case of the symptoms and positive test. Perhaps your SIL should make an emergency appointment with her doctor and get a referral to the EPU to see if something similar is happening with her. It's so difficult to get past this painful time when hormones are still in a state of flux and your body still thinks it's pregnant. It is also worth considering that one is more fertile than normal in the couple of weeks following a termination or ERPC so might be an idea to check things out for that reason too.

peanuthead · 14/12/2010 23:23

Kittens - of course ask away when you are ready. I don't really come on here - I check occasionally asI find the whole TTC thing so painful as I know I can't get pg myself. But I have been awaiting your scan results with all the otheres over the weekend. And I don't really post much on the sister thread as it's all so raw and recent over there. But then I'm a bit of a lurker anyway.

What I will say re donor eggs is - sadlyas I've discovered - it's still not a foregone conclusion that you get a baby. Before you go down that route I would say you need to get your immunes done a bit - and be as sure as you can be that the MCs are down to egg quality. Having siad that I don't really understand the whole egg quality thing - I mean I have low FSH but I have no eggs but I got pg naturally and the baby's abnormlities weren't due to old eggs. It's all so bloody random. Sorry rambling.

Also apparently my cons has said that there is a much higher risk of immune probelms with donor eggs- for obvious reasons. SO if you can bear waiting again I'd def get tested as you need to know however you ttc next time.

Such determination - but I understand that.

We're due to start more donor treatment in the New Year but I'm so terrified - of getting pg, of not getting pg, of the 12 weeks and 20 week scan, of my cervix going, of a still birth. The risks feel overwhelming.

Anyway sorry not meaning to post about me - but please ask away. I have to say IVF is not really that big a deal (in my experience) the worst of it is finding the money.

You'll get there, you can get pg so sooner or later it'll stick.

Don't weant to post my email address on here as it identifies me though!

NumptyMum · 14/12/2010 23:24

Dear Kittens - hadn't time to post before; I'm so sorry to hear your news, even if you did expect it. Thinking very much of you and your man... xx

peanuthead · 14/12/2010 23:27

PS HAve you had lupus, anticardiolipin antibodies, clotting tested? They def do that on NHS as I've jsut had them done. I paid for NK cells a few years back privately and it wasn't that expensive. Excuse me if I'm teaching you to suck eggs... (oh unfortunate sort of pun that...)

Cantdothisagain · 15/12/2010 09:15

Kittens, I am so, so sorry that this has happened again. It really isn't fair. And as always you are dignified and brave.
I really hope 2011 is a better year for you.

Many hugs, and thinking of you.

Havingkittens · 15/12/2010 12:01

Peanuthead, thank you so much for your replies. The information you've shared is very helpful. What you say about immunity makes absolute sense, of course. I have had all the other tests that the NHS provide but nothing really came up. My egg quality seems to be somewhat compromised due to my age but not alarmingly so. Although this does seem to be the main consensus as to why I'm having problems. Although, I still do conceive very easily which puts me in a better position than I could have been, providing I have the mettle to put myself through this repeatedly until it works.

In the meantime, I will explore NK testing and maybe ask on some of the boards about other people's experience of acupuncture etc for prevention of miscarriage before I go the PGD or egg donor route.

I'm so sorry things have been so rough for you Peanuthead. I really hope your next donor treatment works out for you. I know you don't post much anymore but I'd love to hear from you and know how you get on. If you don't want to post, send me a PM.

Thank you for your messages Cantdo and Numpty. Brave and dignified, well, I'm baffled by myself to be honest. I think I have just built up a massive defense mechanism over these sad experiences, either that or I'm in a bubble at the moment and will come crashing down to burst anytime soon which is what I suspect will happen. I also think that the only way I can deal with this is to arm myself with as much information as I can so I know what my chances are in the future. I have not been given a bleak outlook as yet, if that happens the I'm sure the braveness will go out of the window.

VivClicquot · 15/12/2010 13:14

Oh kittens, my heart goes out to you and your DH. I do agree with Cantdo and Numpty - you sound so brave, composed and dignified and I am full of admiration for your strength. (I also adopted the 'try and absorb as much information as I can' approach, and I like to think it helped me be pragmatic, when I really wanted to crumble)

I had acupuncture while ttc, but not to prevent miscarriage so can't help there I'm afraid. But next time I see my acupuncturist, I'll ask her what her thoughts are.

As for me - it's my 20 week scan tomorrow and as you can imagine, I am beside myself with worry. If you can send some good thoughts my way tonight, it would be much appreciated.

Havingkittens · 15/12/2010 13:25

Fingers crossed for you Viv. I hope all goes well. Do keep us posted. x

ghislaine · 15/12/2010 16:29

Sending good thoughts your way Viv.

peanuthead · 15/12/2010 20:17

Hmmm - seem to have inadvertently joined you all on the TTC thread - no bad thing really as I am about to start TTC. And have been trying naturally - for what it's worth - over the last 6 months. And there are so many graduates of the old thread on here. Feels good to be looking forward instead of back.

Kittens - have you tried DHEA? Lots of good research - both times I conceived naturally (am 42 by the way)I'd been taking it in the previous few cycles. Also re acupuncture - not sure it can be used to prevent mc as such but it can definitely help to improve egg quality as can herbs. And if that is the cause then it may well help. Better to wait than rush down the donor route if you have time. PGD is a good one - as you do obviously produce eggs you;ve got a chance of one of then being ok out of a batch. Sadly for me (like Bee) I don't produce the eggs for it.

Viv - I remember you from way back when just after I had my first lost baby - good to hear you're slowly getting there. Good luck tomorrow.

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