Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate VI

[Coffeeandchocolate]

Time for a new thread, ladies. May it continue to give us comfort, and help us find a special, sunny place in our hearts, where our babies are safely tucked in. May it bring good luck to everyone who posts or justs reads.

And to the old-timers, it?s so lovely to still have you here with us, reaching out.

Thank you flower - I can see me staying here too.

Interesting article kat, i wonder how much that recomendation gets put into action? I suppose it varies round the country. It makes me wonder tho' when a MW behaves as yours did with you, on the phone, how she would cope with supporting a woman through the mental minefield of subsequent preg's! I too have thought how increadbly difficult the wait for the 12 weeks scan would be if i got pg. again. But quite honestly - compared to this limbo, i'd rather be coping with anything. I'm finding my new obssession with ttc very difficult.

Also - i hope it's not my pessamism thats caused your fear of ttc kat! I would hate to think my depressing thoughts have infected you You'll be fine xxxxx

Hi all,

Tried posting earlier to say thank you to misty and kat for looking after me and cheering me up but my silly 'puter didn't want to play. Have been baking 2 lots of Millionaires Shortbread; one for the kids and one for friends we are seeing tomorrow. Afte I complained I don't see anyone! In fairness to me, I last saw them in September! Anyway, a massive thank you again ladies, especially misty for my pm that I will reply to later. We are so alike! It was a lovely thing to do and you made me cry, happy tears though. Nice to know I'm not a complete fruit bat and someone understands me!

Think my fear with ttc is I want to become pg before my next birthday. I know it sounds ridiculous but those medical buggers ramp up your statistical risk with every birthday and I am panicking that I may get results that at 35 would give me a, say, 1:250 but at 36 because of age weighting would become 1:100 and end up with me having to go through the hell of tests/waiting for results. On the flip side, I guess at least if they do test and test and test, we'll know everything is okay for definite. Hmmmm....

Anyhoo, am going to go and have dinner, but wanted to check in.

Think I'll probably say here too. Feel like we have all gone through this together, would be nice to go on the next stage of ttc together too.

xxxxx

hey ladies. sorry i've not posted today - have been reading, but wasn't really able to reply as busy in the office and lots of eyes around!!

cinnamon, it sounds like you are feeling a little better now so i won't dwell on your feeling down earlier, but i just wanted to say that i completely understand where you are coming from. when i met my dh (and fell hopelessly in love!) i left the job i was doing and moved to the area he lived - and i remember that first couple of years, not feeling like i fitted in, and having no family or friends around that i could just call on. fast forward a few years and we moved again - due to work, and now i'm happy to say that i have met friends. some of my closest friends are actually the 4 girls i met in the special care unit when ds2 was born (9 weeks early) - as you know an experience of that intensity and emotion brings people together.
also - although my ds1 doesn't start schoo until the following september, i'm already looking forward to meeting other mums at the school gate (cliche i know!) and possibly getting involved in the pta, or in another way at the school. sorry i'm probably spouting stuff you've already thought about. and i said i wouldn't dwell on it (which i am) so just wanted to send you some happy thoughts that things will turn out well xxxx

Also i completely understand your fears about ttc and the age factor. in fact you've freaked me out a little as i didn't realise those odds!!? i'm 36 at the moment and turn 37 in august, so am also desperately wanting to be pregnant before then. i have lots of 'milestones' this year that i want to get past.....i have a first due date next month (3 June) which was my mc baby. then my birthday, then Eve's due date. (aargh, the list goes on!) - sorry went a bit me me me then!!

misty thanks for the message this morning, hope the swim was relaxing / therapeutic / fun! i agree with you and the others about wanting to stay here - i have posted on the sister thead a couple of times to ask questions, but i would much rather stay here (at least for the foreseeable future) and continue my journey with you ladies...as we've already been through so much together.

kat hope you managed to get your washing done i empathise with your childcare situation. saying that we 'do' have potential babysitters now, and still don't manage to get out much at all. prob partly to do with dh working weekends, and me working in the week - we're like passing ships a lot of the time, and one of us is always too knackered!!! i'd not read that article before, but i too wonder how much it actually gets put into practice. i was completely paranoid with this pregnancy from day 1 anyway following my mc (and also scared for the latter part of the pregnancy in case my waters broke again early resulting in another prem baby) - god knows what i will be like if when i fall pregnant again. a complete nervous wreck i should think. i will certainly make my feelings known and ensure that i am looked after well, but you would hope it is something they would initiate and do as a matter of course

flower i'm glad that you are sticking around on this thread :) hope that you are doing okay xx

afm. well i've had a not great day today. auntie flo i think is definitely here (albeit quite light at the moment). kat i too am quite pleased that (at least for this month) my cycle is relatively short. usually mine are between 32-36 days, so this is quite a surprise for me. i think though that acknowledging that my period had arrived this morning hit me quite hard :( almost like someone saying "well here you go, you are definitely not pregnant any more. then i popped out at lunchtime to get some fresh air and passed a pregnant women on the street and without thinking thought to myself "oh, she looks about 20 weeks" - and that hit me hard as i realised that should be what i look like now.....i would have been 21 weeks yesterday. yesterday is also 4 weeks since i lost Eve - how can 4 weeks go both so quickly and so slowly?? have been down ever since, dh noticed it when i got home, but my inlaws were here, and of course my boys so it wasn't until about an hour ago i was able to let it all out and have a good cry. feel a little better for it now. i guess this just highlights the ups and downs of our situations.....felt ok yesterday and sledgehammer moment today
sorry, i've also let this become a complete 'me' post. cinnamon - i need one of your millionnaire shortbreads!!!!

and ladies kat and cinnamon - i have no clue where you live, but if you're anywhere near to me, i would be more than happy to come and babysit if you wanted a night out with your hubby / or even offer my own 'wonderful' (haha) company if you want a girly night out!

on that note misty i need a coffee xxxxxxxxxxx

Eek mrsbigz! Those aren't official odds or anything, just my mind working overtime! Please don't let me freak you out. I just know age pushes them up, but it might be by 1 or something........

Bloody Auntie Flo came back! She'd gone away for a day, apparently she'd forgotten something, grrrr. Caught me completely on the hop, the cow.

Shortbread has gone a bit insane. I make mine in those disposable tin trays, (saves washing up, never sticks, thank you Nigella for the tip), only didn't check I had enough before mixing up double amounts of ingredients. Just had one tray. Bugger. So made one shortbread in a tray, and one in a round silcon sponge tray. We'll see how it works out, sure it tastes okay.

Anyway, enough about me and my cake based problems. Seems like everyone is feeling very the same at the moment, so glad we have each other to talk about this. I think people who haven't had this type of experience do think you are a bit barmy; even my mum doesn't quite know how to react. Sorrry, barmy isn't the right word, they just don't 'get it'.

Am deciding to get pro active about missing my friends; one girl who I used to work with in Social Services, (actually, she was the reason I got the job!)has been particularly brilliant at keeping in touch so are going to ask her and her boyfriend to come visit. If we do it on a weekend when little man goes to his dad's it should work out okay. OH loves it because she is also from SA and they get to talk about biltong and dodgy SA rock music. Bless. And something called 'malk tert', which is just milk tart said in a dodgy accent.....

Well, I would happily take up any and all offers to babysit and/ or do a girls night if anyone finds themselves in the Reading area!

Am going to see if I can get OH away from his computer, boys and their toys.....

Hugs to all, xxxxxxx

OMG cinnamon you're in Reading?! lol One of my OH's brothers (his favourite in fact) lives there. With his young wife, who i mentioned ages ago, because they have been ttc for over a year now.

Dont even start me on odds! Mine are shitty, shitty, shit but i'm still going for it Thats why the doc. who did my awful scan said at my follow-up call - "Trying again? Yes ... start NOW!" Basicly she was saying "bloody hurry up - cos it goes badly down hill from here". (mrsbigz - breeeeath.....i'm 6 years older than you!) But when you've made the decision to get on the ttc bus - your on it for the long haul really arent you? If i leap off now i'll never get there will i? (By the way, i think Barmy IS the right word) AND i find reading about your cake baking quite relaxing - so carry on as you were.

Lovely mrsbigz - I didnt realise how down you were about Auntie. I know you know this - but i'll say it anyway - this first Auntie Flo is a gateway. Its opening up to your new ttc journey. It's telling you your body is working, its all dropping into place agian, and gearing up for the big job. I feel i'm just messing about untill my first one comes. So i'm kind of envious! I've had no pos. OPK either - and i've been doing them since day 11 till now (day ..... er ....19, had to go and look then) So i'm putting this month down to practicing on FF and getting into good habits. (temping ect)

So - to everyone. The weddings started on the telly - sadly i'm keeping it on all day. OH is laying someones patio today - he doesnt care a hoot about watching it - so - the tellys all mine! Swimming was good yesterday. Just me and two ancient old girls plouging up and down. I did 22 lengths - working my way back to 40 lengths, which i was doing a year or so ago. I do 2 extra each time i go, so aiming to be doing around 40 again in about 7/8 weeks ..... fingers crossed.

I'm up for the night out! Sadly i'd have to be designated driver as i'm t-totalling at the mo. (the JD is on hold ) Wouldnt it be weird if we did all meet? I dont know about you ladies but i've got a mental pic. in my head of each of you, and they're obviously totaly wrong, lol, how funny! I'd be SO confused after that. It doesnt take much!

Gigantic waffle over! Have a good day girls xxxxxxx

flower I have mostly worked in and around mental health too. Unfortunately, it doesn't make me any better and not being massively anxious generally and especially about pregnancy and babies. I think if I do get pregnant again I am going to have to adopt a very cold distant attitude to it and assume that it will end badly. I doubt that many professionals will pay that much attention to what's gone before, except maybe the consultants because of our interesting and increased risks. I don't expect much from community midwives anyway, although I had a brilliant one first time round. I think the best thing is is to be aware of when you're in need of extra help and ask for it.

misty I didn't really catch the ttc fear off you, it's just my natural pessimism. I am trying to be optimistic about it but it's difficult today. I think this thread maybe a bit 'safer' too, just in terms of no pressure.

cinnamon Hope you're feeling better today and it's really good to be proactive about friends. I've just arranged two 'cup of teas' for next week to try and ease me back into normal life. Like you and mrsbigz, I too am absolutely obsessed with my age, but I was 38 last month and I had felt tentatively relieved that I'd been able to get pregnant relatively quickly at 37 and would be done with all this pregnancy stuff by the time I was 38. Now I just feel massively old and useless. Even if I got pregnant straight away, which is unlikely, I would still be 39 when I had the baby. It feels like every passing month will push me nearer and nearer to infertility or just endless mcs and terminations. Bleak I know but that's how I feel today. I'm also concerned that I'll miss out on enjoying my daughter growing up because at the moment all I think is: 'She's getting so grown up - I WANT ANOTHER BABY' and it's unfair on her.

(Nowhere near Reading, I'm afraid. Manchester. Nice thought though.)

mrsbigz Hope you can see AF as being a step towards getting back to normal rather than a reminder of what's happened. Hard I know though.

I am feeling pretty down today. It's a week since the termination and I had sharp pains down my side in the night and again this morning and all the infection fears came rushing back. However, my temperature is normal and the bleeding is the same so I'm going to assume it's just things contracting or shifting and not panic. If it gets worse or anything else changes I'll ring the hospital. Also, my daughter is being a massive brat and all I've heard this morning is her screeching and crying and my poor husband trying to cope with her. He's been looking after her almost full time for a fortnight and it's taking its toll on him. They've gone out now so I hope she calms down.

I really must put that washing on though, perhaps some light domestic chores will cheer me up. Hmm.

Hope you all have good days. xxx

More waffle from me as I've come upstairs for a rest...

Have cheered up a bit now, been watching the wedding, mostly for the outfits. My summary: I liked her dress but wasn't sure about the lace. Also she had too much blusher on and her sister was looking a bit too orange but I loved her dress. The real horrors were Beatrice and Eugenie though, they were like pantomime dames. (I have to point out that I was slagging them all off sitting there unwashed, whilst wearing pyjama bottoms and a saggy t-shirt. And eating crisps.)

So, now I keep telling myself that it's not unheard of for a 38 year old woman to have a successful pregnancy (I think you should apply this to yourself too misty). I think I just have to try and keep positive that we will be given another chance because the thought that we might not is something I really can't handle at the moment. My grandma had my dad at 38, my mum had my youngest sister at 36 and I've surely got to be healthier than they were. I don't smoke, barely drink these days, I'm not overweight, have a reasonable enough diet, take supplements, get enough exercise, no diabetes, PCOS or other illnesses so I've got to have a chance. Plus I've conceived twice before and had one successful pregnancy and at least made it half way with the second.

Oh and mrsbigz, misty put it so much better than I did with what she said about your period. That's what I was trying to say!

Hello again xx

kat i agree on everything you said about the wedding. The dress was lovely, i thought the lace was ok - brave - different. Different to Dianas dress, that the main thing! They didnt want comparisons. I think i might have liked to have seen her hair up ..... dont know in what style, but with all that lovely hair they could have done something realy fab.?? There were some lovely outfits - but yeah - those two princesses looked AWFUL!! They've obviouly inherited their mothers complete lack of style. Bitchy bitchy! he he. Likewise i was sat there like a slob in my jim jams - dying my eyelashes actualy, with my daughter, both of us passing judgement on averyone. Great fun

Got showered and dressed eventualy - even been to tesco for some bits. Got sworn at by a fat idiot in the carpark for alledgedly cutting him up! I did not cut him up - and he made a fool of himself shouting and swearing at me after following me to a parking place. If my OH had been there this guy would have been taking his next meal through a straw!! Anyway - i behaved like a lady and just said "what a gentleman" after he shouted ignorant f*er" at me. Twice! Alot of people around looked shocked at his behaviour and one guy stopped and stood with me for a while while the twat left the scene. - honestly if that had been last week i would have crumbled. Ended up laughing about it tho', so thats ok.

kat - if its any comfort, i conceived after 11 months of NOT trying at all. I was very blaze about the whole thing back then. Also - my baby would have gone full term - and i've never had a mc, (fingers crossed so far). So if its possible for me - its possible for you xxxxx

Have found a cafe with wifi and thought I'd check in with you all as so much happens in such a small space of time! I've only been away 4 days and just read 2 pages!

Just wanted to say thank you again for all your kind words, prayers and thoughts. Someone sent me the poem recently without knowing about my association between Ava & snowdrops (she was born at the end of Jan and the little flowers popping out of the frozen ground seemed so optimistic somehow- esp since we'd had a long and cold crappy month of upset) and I wanted to share it with you on Sun. mrsbigz ( I think- I'm sorry if I'm wrong) but Ava was also born in a Snowdrop Suite- you're not 'up north' too are you? I also know what you mean about the service. We were not going to attend Ava's funeral (there had to be one due to her gestation) but the thought of it happening and us not being there made me so uneasy that we decided to go in the end, which in hindsight was the right decision for us. However it was only my DH, the hospital chaplain, undertaker and I there, which made it easier and also more imporant to me that we went, if that makes sense?

I also want to say hi to Kat, I'm sorry you're struggling a bit- I think we all had a very bumpy rollercoaster ride in the first couple of weeks especially. I had the pill to stop milk & thankfully it worked- it must be awful to have such a reminder. Hugs to you x

misty I also had weird bleeding a day after sex (quite early on) and dr said that it often happens because of changes to your cervix after birth and physical ex / sex etc can dislodge 'stuff'. Scientific explanation I know :) sorry!!

Hi to everyone else & apologies that this post is prob completely out of context now! Xx

Hello ladies,

Just a quick check in - got more involved with the day than I thought I would. Thought it was all lovely, do agree a bit too much blusher and good grief Eugenie and Beatrice!! Bless 'em. I've always secretly wanted to be a red head so love the a l'orange hair, but red hair and electric blue floral?? Wrong in so many ways.

What's with the super sized wonky fascinators too?

Little man was a super star at our friends; being autistic new situations sometimes freak him out, plus babies crying sometimes set him off too and there were 2 lovely 9 months old there, plus a load of strangers. He behaved brilliantly, played in the garden, ate far too much cake. Saved the freak out for home where he was evil for an hour.

kat - I love you. I adore all 3 of our kids, (the fact the eldest 2 aren't technically 'mine' doesn't matter to me, I see them all the same), but sometimes they are a bloody pain in the a*se. I always feel terrible if I say it, I guess because no one admits that sometimes our kids, as normal humans with mood swings and funny moments, drive us insane. Thank you for admitting being a human and allowing me to admit to it too! Youngest drove me insane for a while today, eldest has been driving me mental for an hour or so too. Phew.....! Said it and don't feel like an evil mum!

Hope everyone enjoys the rest of the day. Auntie buggered off again, hurray!

xxxxxxxxxxx

only a quick check in from me so sorry if lack of personals.

managed to watch the main bits of the wedding - i too liked her dress (even the lace didn't offend me!) but kinda wished she'd had her hair up. and yes, the 2 princesses were a bit of a sight??!

myangelava lovely to hear from you, hope you're enjoying your time away? no, i'm not from up north although the town would suggest i am - Northampton!! maybe the 'snowdrop' is a more common name for this type of delivery room....i believe it means new hope or some such thing.

well completely flummoxed about auntie flo (cinnamon glad yours has left the building!). today have had no bleeding at all?? so i'm wondering if yesterday and the day before were pre-auntie flo spotting (just a little heavier than usual). unsure whether (for charting purposes) to hold off from marking it as a new cycle yet.

misty thanks for the hugs, am feeling a lot better about everything today, just had one of those moments.

kat so if you're in manchester then maybe somewhere around birmingham would be a good place to have a meet-up / girls day out one of of these days?

catch up properly tomorrow, love to you all xxxxxxxxxx

misty what a total fcking prck. I absolutely despise behaviour like that. If your OH had been there this fat idiot wouldn't have said a word which makes it even worse. It happened to me once and I just sat in the car ignoring it at the time but I was really shaken up afterwards about how such a minor thing (I had got pushed into blocking a junction by someone else's mistake) could cause such an outpouring of abuse. He was hanging half out of his car window bellowing at me, and he had kids in the back. Nice. I remember my husband saying some men just hate women and look for any excuse to have a go and I think he was right. We can only assume these people die quite early on of heart attacks...

myangelava hello, and thank you. I am a bit better every day but, as we all know, it is inevitably a bumpy ride. I hope you're enjoying your time away though. I think snowdrops are a lovely symbol for you to have and also a hopeful sign for the future being the first flowers we see.

cinnamon glad your boy did you proud! I'm afraid that although it goes without saying that I utterly adore my daughter, she can be a right little madam and I am never afraid to admit that I find her behaviour incredibly annoying sometimes.

mrsbigz I'd tentatively mark it on the chart as it might only make sense what it was when you look back on it in a couple of weeks. It might also just be one of those things. I have something called cervical erosion which causes spotting (only during pregnancy for me) due to thinning of the cervix but it can affect other people after sex, exercise and even if they're constipated. It's the most common cause of irregular bleeding apparently. Apologies if you already knew about this but I've only had it diagnosed recently and had never heard of it before.

I watched all the wedding highlights again last night and did even more bitching. The fashion for hats glued to foreheads is awful, just looks stupid. I really didn't like the evening dress Kate was wearing from what I could see of it. Skirt far too full and fluffy shrug / cardie, how 2002! I also concluded that when I could bring myself to look more closely those two unfortunate princesses wear far far too much eye make up, it makes their eyes look even closer together. I would have liked to have seen Kate's hair up too, she does have lovely hair so I can see why she'd want it down and that was a bit more relaxed looking, but she could have had a fabulous up-do with some long strands to show off the length. I'll shut up now.

Birmingham might well be possible at some point. I'd dearly love to buy you all a drink!

Anyway, busy day today trying to be quite normal and do some housework and my mum is coming over for the day to help me. Hurrah for mums.

Hope you all have a good day.

My mum lives near Birmingham, so I make the trip up quite often, takes me an hour and a half....just saying ! Also know any number of nice restaurants and bars.......and there's a massive Selfridges......

Anyone feeling a bit sad today, can I recommend the 'All that glitters' thread that has popped up in classics and discussions of the day. Read it last night; OH came in in a panic because he thought I was having a wobble, the tears were streaming down my face. Was just having hysterics. I have not laughed so much a long time. I even let him read it, (I know it sounds a bit odd, but I like to keep my discussions on here private. Not that I keep secrets from him but sometimes you need to be able to say things that our lovely men may not quite get.) He thought it was very funny, and that it comfirmed his thoughts that all women are a little bit mad.

Auntie Flo came back again last night!!!!!! FFS! Will be a 'bit too much information' here because want some advice if anyone has any; the last 2 nights she has re appeared during the old S, E, X, (as Mrs Doyle would say). Then goes away again. OH was worried that maybe it's his fault, bless. I'm not too bothered; Auntie had a habit of going away for a day or so, then comng back before my pregnancy with little one, but it's a bit annoying. Also means my AF visit has gone on for 7 days, with one day off, which is unusual for me, though I was 4-5 days later than normal. Hmmm. Any ideas?

misty, well done for taking the moral high ground and I am pleased that at least there are some decent men in the world, with the nice man that stayed with you. I second what kat says, some men just seem to hate women. Bet he wouldn't have reacted like that with another man. Silly, impotent little prat. Bet he has a tiny penis.

myangelAva, lovely to hear from you, and bless you for finding a wifi spot!

mrsbigz, think we need to designate you as social secretary.

cremeegg, bluecat, flower, knitter, (anyone else?) -

Going to bath DS, if I can get him away from the Gruffalo,

xxxxxxx

Hi girls xx

Feeling very proud of myself as i dragged myself out of bed (and away from OH) to go swimming at 7.30 this morning. I weighed myself at the gym and am A STONE lighter than just before my termination which will be three weeks tomorrow. I've been dieting gently but I must have been eating like a piggy when preggers to have lost that much that quick ! Oh well - onwards and downwards (with the weight) I'd like to shift 1 more stone.

kat - bless you for being cross on my behalf about the swearing guy. It was totaly out of proportion to the situaiton - and i had my 13 year old daughter standing next to me. It realy would have floored me last week. And yeah - i bet he wouldnt have said a word if i had a bloke with me....

Thank you about the cervical erosion. I had heard the term b4, but didnt know quite what it was. I do get spotting now and then - p'raps i've got it too then??

Ladies - EVERYONE finds their own kids/babies/teenagers annoying sometimes! Anyone who says they dont is lying!!! If we didnt have boundaries to set our kids to stop them annoying us - think what total brats they'd be once let loose on the world. I remember yonks ago reading something that struck me as ringing true and it went like this: A child with good behavioural boundries at home - and a child that sees it's parents standing up and being cross and enforcing good behaviour ect - is ultimately much more secure in themselves because subconciously the child sees that that parent will have the backbone to stand up and protect it against the world if/when necassary. So ..... there's the thought for today, lol, for me it made sense -

myangelava - yes, how lovely to have snow drops as a symbol for you. New life, new begginings and pure beauty. Mine is white blossom actualy. Its the first thing i saw when i came round from the GA, and felt such a sense of peace as i looked out of the hospital window at all that soft white blossom against the blue sky. I have ordered a printed canvas pic. of blossom like that to put up in the house somewhere as a little symbol of baby. (however it hasnt bloody turned up yet and i am emailing the company to no avail! Spoiling the mood somewhat...)

cinnamon - See? You're doing a fab. job Your boy did you proud as kat says xxxxx

mrsbigz - yes, tricky one. Maybe put it as spotting like i did with my bit in the week, and see what happens. You can put it in your notes that it was more than that?? If it turns out to be Auntie you can go back and change it to light bleeding cant you? Then your chart will begin again wont it? Hark at me!!! You're my charting hero - and i'm giving YOU advice! And i've as many as you need xx

MORE washing to hang out now. Sigh. Enjoy the day ladies xxxxxx

Crossed thread with you there cinnamon cos i took nearly an hour to write my post due to stopping/starting answering phone ect!

Thank you too for crossness at twat. Yes, lol, little man syndrome!

I will have a look for that thread you mentioned later. Your Auntie Flo wound realy annoying! It horrible when we feel at her mercy. Maybe as someone said a while ago here 'bits are just gradualy being disloged'. That sounded kind of sensible to me .... ? . And i'm about an hour from Birmingham .......

good morning (well, afternoon now!!!)

i too have been up and about, thought not nearly as productive as misty - i had some retail therapy (boys were none too keen, but hey ho!). dh works weekends so i try and do as much as i can to keep them both busy, so quick break while ds1 playing and ds2 napping!!

misty and cinnamon yes i will do that, mark it as spotting for now...i think that is what it must be, as still no sign of anything today as yet. like you've both mentioned it's prob just our bodies re-sorting themselves out again....cinnamon prob exactly what's happening to you - though blinkin frustrating!!
re: annoying kids - omg my 3year old can get my blood boiling sometimes - he's so darn cheeky and naughty!!! but it also shows he has character which i love....doesn't stop me from being cross with him though!! ds2 is not quite reached the stage where he can make me cross, but i'm sure that day will come ha!
i'm also about an hour from birmingham :) so seems like a good place and i'm glad we've someone who knows their way around there as i sadly do not. can get myself to new street and that's about it!!! and my mind suggests that if we're gonna do it we do it sooner rather than later as we can all have a glass of wine (seeing as we're all gonna be pregnant again before we know it!)
am off round to my cousins this afternoon (she lives about 3 roads away!) so hopefully the kids will play nicely (she has a 4year old girl) and we can sit in the garden with a glass of something naughty!!
dh doesn't get home until about 8.30pm so if i'm lucky and get ths kids to bed on time i might even get an hour of 'me' time later on!!

sorry not many personals, trying to fit everything in before ds2 wakes up....he's not quite walking yet, but is into climbing EVERYthing so can't really leave him alone. can't wait until he walks as he might forget to scale the sofa / chairs / table etc when he has a newfound skill!

speak to you all later, will catch up tonight when the kids are in bed.

love to you all xxxx

Well that's weird, had a huge parcel of cheapy opks arrive in the post today so just peed on one (as you do!) and it's almost positive?? Not sure if catching the beginning or end of the surge tho? Needless to say I will try and temp tomorrow just to see if I confirm I've O'd and may have to jump on dh wen he gets on from work . Scuse snh typos am on my phone x

OMG mrsbigz - that is just SO uncany - i wasnt going to write anything right now - just reading - but i went up about 10 mins ago and did my stick (I try to do it around 4 o'clock ish) and it was 50/50 !!!!! I've just been on FF and put it as neg. but written in notes that it was the stongest negative i've had. I've been looking at it so hard my eyes were crossing.

Ooooooh everything crossed for you mrsbigz - get out the frilly nighty! lol xxxxxxxx

Hi everyone,
Myangelava good to hear from you, hope you are having a good time away.

Cinamon that glitter thread was great, cheered me up at work this morning!

Mrsbigz and others using cheap opks do you get true positives from them?
cause i never have just slightly dark second line, last time i used them i didnt get anything at all and convinced my self i wasn't ovulating. So stopped using them.
However last few days ive had ewcm, so im feeling more positive this cycle, may even pee on stick later.

Just chuckling to myself at the thought of Mr misty and Mr mrsbigz getting a nice Saturday night surprise, hee hee!

Think I need to get me some of those sticks, feeling a bit left out....

And am really up for the idea of a Brum meeting now, quite exciting! Get those calenders out girls. We could go to the Mailbox, lots of bars & restaurants plus Harvey Nichols. And 5 mins from New Street Station. Job's a good 'un I'd say!

Look at me....Harvey Nichols and Selfridges....who am I kidding? I have 3 kids, how can I even pretend to afford that?!?

OH has presented me with a nice cuppa, best go drink it before one of the aforementioned kids snaffles it, xxxxxxx

Morning all, I think today is my last ?lie in? and cup of tea in bed before I have to get up and take charge again as normal.

Birmingham is 1.5 hours from here so is very doable for an afternoon / evening but I know absolutely nothing about the place as to my shame I have never been there. I agree with sooner rather than later for wine purposes, but drinking is only desirable rather than essential! Stop all this talk of Selfridges though, disposable income is not something that features in my life at the moment! If we wanted to seriously look at some dates then www.doodle.com/ is great for this kind of thing.

Myangelava, you must live quite near me?

Cinnamon, can?t suggest anything on the AF front, full moon perhaps?

Misty, good news about the missing stone and another one is only a few more pounds. I am lucky (haha but you know what I mean) in that I seem to be around the weight I was when I?ve conceived last time (which is a few pounds heavier than I?d like to be) so I?m trying to stay at this weight. Cervical erosion is really very common so you may well have it. I had to have a visual inspection by my GP to have it diagnosed as it is apparently clearly visible to the naked eye.

Mrsbigz, hope you had a nice afternoon and got your hour of me time as well as anything else!

Flower, good luck with the POS.

I?m wondering about OPKs, do I actually need them or when I'm ready can I just start doing temps and looking for ewcm like I?ve done before. I can?t really afford them so would it just be an expensive hobby or am I limiting my chances? I?d value your wise opinions.

Otherwise, had such a good day until about 3pm when I got so tired I just had to lie on the couch. All downhill from there as I just felt incredibly down once my parents had gone and my daughter was asleep. I was really tired and tearful and it all seemed so unfair that we are having to go through this when everyone else in the world just seems to casually have a couple of kids with no bother at all. (I know this isn?t true, especially here of course, but amongst our immediate circle of friends and relatives.) I think I perhaps just did too much housework etc. yesterday and today I am determined to take it easier and try to stay positive. I might even be brave enough to leave the house as I haven't been out (except in the garden) for over a week now.

Hi all, just wrote a big message on the sister thread so can't post another megapost here, but been reading and am so pleased that you are all supporting each other despite and through your own recent losses.

Did though want to say that IME when you get pregnant again they do tend to treat you differently, offer extra scans, etc, which helped me. I was also told that I could have cvs/amnio even if my results were low risk, which they were, and I didn't have the cvs, but I liked being asked. Though our GP surgery is huge and has a team of midwives, and the one I saw for booking in with Babycant was really cold and unsympathetic. She faxed something to the hospital and wrote in bold at the top 'VERY HIGH RISK PREGNANCY' then added that I had had two TOP and a previous C-section, which wound me up (the c-section part - honestly - nothing compared to the 'two babies with fatal conditions' and I thought the TOP bit needed explaining, but she didn't - obviously the detail was in my notes). Oddly though I saw the same midwife much later in the pregnancy (34 weeks) and she was nice. I wondered if I had dreaded booking in so much that I had projected coldness onto her...

Also for waiting to try again - I waited three cycles after the first loss, but only one after the second, and both times got pregnant first time of trying.

These two threads are meant to blur into each other and I think it's normal to be grieving AND ttc again; that is how we almost all have been.

Thinking of you (and your Brum meet up!) even though I am much further down the line and rarely post.

Morning all

Yes kat, go out somewhere nice. Seriously - i didnt go anywhere for the first week and got quite down. The second week i only got as far as tesco - but we went for a few long walks together (we're lucky we live in the middle of the countryside) Back to normal in the third week. But i would recomend getting out and about. Garden centre? Big ones with coffee shops are always good for a mooch i find. I dont want to sound like your mum - but it'd do you the world of good !!! xxxx (god i sound like my mum)

cinnamon - yeah get some sticks! Peeing on things is very theraputic. I'm no authority on how cheap/reliable the cheap internet ones are, because i've been buying mine at tesco. They are 7 sticks for £8. You only need to be peeing on them for a week or so in your cycle so its £8 a month....(much cheaper than a bottle of JD so i 'owe' myself a few extras) Mind you i've been doing it from day 11 and am still at it at day .... 22 i think. Sort of fascinated with it. I'm glad i stuck with it cos i think i've seen a stronger line appearing gradualy. And yep! All systems go last night, he he. Who needs an excuse anyway????

mrsbigz - did you have a good evening?! And i hope you had a good time at your cousins. I went out for a lovely meal last night with an old friend in the vilage and we had a right laugh. She's also got teenage daughters and we've been friends since all our girls were realy little - so it was nice to compare notes on how to keep them in line!

hi flower - congrats on the ewm! Thats not something i thought i'd ever be saying, lol.

We've got OH's parents coming up from London today - so i need to tidy up realy. We havent actualy seen them since March, because they've been in Cyprus, although they've spoken to my OH on the phone quite a few times, and his mum sent me a lovely card and flowers. But i hope they're not too ..... whats the word? overly full of sadness and sympathy. I know that sounds awful, but i'm in a happier place mentaly now, and dont want to dwell and be miserable and all sit round being glum ...... just a quick hug'll do. Do i sound like a bitch? I dont want to go all through the whole story again with anyone ..... isnt it weird how contact with well meaning people can rock your boat like this. I'm not looking forward to it.

Hello cant!

Crossed posts as i took so long over mine (again) got up and hoovered in the middle of it.

Thank you for the positive news on the ttc front for you its so heartening to hear things like that. I often read the sister thread - hoping and hoping i'll be able to chat about scans and things again one day.

Oh and i forgot to say on my last post that i dont mind where we go for a meet up - i'm easy, as they say! Just need plenty of warning xxx