Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate VI

[Coffeeandchocolate]

Time for a new thread, ladies. May it continue to give us comfort, and help us find a special, sunny place in our hearts, where our babies are safely tucked in. May it bring good luck to everyone who posts or justs reads.

And to the old-timers, it?s so lovely to still have you here with us, reaching out.

I'm sorry misty I was trying to reassure you not worry you!!! Let me check- it was the consultant appt at the hospital & not the 6 week GP check?I would say that it would be nice if he can go with you but I 100% understand about work- it's a diff ball game when you're self employed. Esp when you have people relying on you. And if he can't, just remember all that you've been through means that you are incredibly strong- and who doesn't expect a bit of crying?!! Big hugs & I'm so sorry for worrying you now!

Am daring to hope for you that it's implantation spotting- really sounds like it doesn't it?!! See what temps do tomorrow. I know what you mean about jinxing! I bought a preg test in my weekly shop (to use at weekend when I cave in through lack of patience!) and since then I'm convinced AF will be coming soon as I can feel 'goings on' in there that precedes her arrival. See.... Jinxed!! :) I'm so silly.

Enjoy your swim xx

Hello all,

You are so busy! Have finally crawled out of my pit and come downstairs, (not really any choice as I have DS at home till nursery time, but he's such a darling I could just lie there and he'd play around me!). Was in sooo much pain last night, but seem to be better today, (myangelAva, now panicking I've written that because I worry about jinxing too!). Have to take the next few days really easy, which is easier said than done, but will give it a go!

stunned, sorry I have missed you before today; read your story on a seperate thread and it goes without saying I am sending massive hugs to you today. My brief story; lost our little one at exactly 13 weeks on 23rd March, a severely herniated stomach and the base of her umbilical cord hadn't closed so she wouldn't have survived many more weeks before I miscarried. Also she possibly had Edward's. I hope that today goes as well as it can, and that you achieve some sort of peace from which you can start to move on. Let us know if you need anything xxxx

misty, did consider it may be implantation bleeding too, hmmmm! That would be brilliant! I had it with both pregnancies for a few days; pinky smudges and everything felt a bit tender. I'm going to keep everything crossed. Does it sound a bit weird that I am desperate for one of us to get a BFP? Obviously I would love it to be me (?!?), but it kind of feels we are going through this journey together and a BFP for one of us is a BFP for all of us. Does that sound weird? Told you these drugs were strong......!! xxxx

Don' know if it helps re; consultant appointments, but mine was pretty much 'are you okay? Are you going mad? This is the number to call when you get pregnant again, we'll get you straight in for tests and you can have any tests you want.' And the nicest bit, 'well, hopefully I'll be seeing you again before the end of the year, good luck'.

I think I'm going to get a hot water bottle and some mega pain killers, big hugs to you all and sorry I've missed so many of you out but I just can't keep up!!

xxxxxxxxxxxx

misty - i echo what myangelava has said.....although i would like it if my dh could come to the appointment, i think i'm quite comfortable going alone as well....i don't think they're going to say anything that i've not thought about already - and heck - they may even say something on the more positive side? but i do think it will be ok to go by myself.
6-week gp checkup???? should i have one of these booked? it's just gone 6 weeks for me so maybe i should have already been seen? should my gp have contacted me or was i supposed to contact them myself?
misty chart is looking nice , however i hate the false hope thing too. usually it's when i start seriously hoping/thinking that this month "is it" that blinkin AF shows. i've had months in the past when i was ttc ds2 when i would wait and wait, finally cave and test (bfn!) and literally 5 minutes later there she would appear - the bi-atch!! i feel sure that AF was designed by a bitter man.....
that said, i'm keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you :)

Hee hee mrsbigz you make me laugh!! :) the same thing has ALWAYS happened to me- I wait & wait & dare to believe and then test... Bfn and AF turns up quite literally minutes later!! Or so it feels!!..

I used FF when ttc my son- it's so good, you're making me want to start it again next cycle!!

Re GP check, Ava was classed as a stillbirth at 26+ weeks so I had to go for a GP check up as you would after a 'normal birth'. I had to makevthe appt myself and my GP even asked how it was going with the baby!!! Stillbirth was written right at the top of her screen as well. Was mortifying.

Just going into gym- mainly as an excuse to watch This Morning- but don't tell anyone!! X

Ps I am also getting quietly excited by misty's details!! Fingers crossed... Xxx

Thanks for the wishes ladies
Still waiting for call to go in - everything crossed it will not be overnight as would rather come home to my bed.
Will update you when I can
X x

Oh bless all of you!

cinnamon i realy did laugh out loud at the "Are you going mad?". ha ha ha It's what its bloody like when you see these people. You just sit there in front of them and waffle and diagnose yourself in the end. Well i do anyway.

Myangel nooooooooooo dont be sorry! I'm realy glad you mentioned about babys results - i'd have gone there all casual on my own otherwise, thinking it would be just about me - (not alot to say there) So to be hit with an unexpected full report about baby all on my ownsome would have been awful. And OH would have felt terrible without knowing that too.

The thing is - obviously its on my mind that we havnt been sent the report yet - that was meant to be 2/3 weeks after termination - but havnt rung up about its whereabouts yet (too ) and didnt put two and two together about the 6 week check up plus baby report till this morning. Thick - i know.

I rang my OH when i got back from swimming and said all the above really - and he said OK, if i can ring the hos. and check if the consultant might go through babys details, then he'll be there happily. SIGH. So THANK YOU GIRLSxxxxx

cinnamon - hope, hope, hope your pains all go away today. Poor thing. So lovely to say about the first BFP will be for everyone! I know just what you mean None of us are confident of an easy time ttc - another bond we all have.

myangel - i've done that a good few times in the past myself. Once i came on WHILE driving home from buying the darn pg test! Jesus!

Dont want to disapoint anyone - but - i've got low tummy ache now Feel i want to go trampolining or something to get it going!

MyangelAva DO DO DO come back to FF!! that would be another chart for me to obsess over (i love looking at all the lines ).

Yes! I'll second that myangel - come back and lets sicky beak over each others lines xxxxx

i meant sticky not sicky!

hey all, happy friday!
have just got back from a yummy pizza out with some mates, lovely... tho if im being honest i was hoping to have a couple of drinks out but we literally did the meal and left... hey ho! (they live a bit further out of the city so more of an ass to get home i guess) but you know when you need a couple of friday wines?! hehe

anyhoo have got a nice red at home with fire on now :)

misty year 8 is same as UK...well i taught in a government mixed school in E Sussex and now teach in private boys school, and the behaviour is here SHOCKING! (ive only been here since nov 09 so taught in UK for 2 years, am from Brighton, family from Northants...so would have loved to join you all in bham if i was still there lol!) ALso, first thing I thought when i read your post about the errr...'pink wipes' was implantation so fingers crossed!!

Parents eve was fine, I managed to juggle my appointments from classes from 10 weeks ago with joining up with the lady who i share classes with now to meet their parents too, so was quite useful.... we have the second half of the 'alphabet' appointments next week tho! (my af due day, i believe, so will possibly stop me from obsessively testing if she doesnt rock up on time!?)

sending a to you stunned, hope everything goes as well as it can tomorrow, thinking of you.

my story is i went to my 20 week scan, found out baby didnt have enough fluid or kidneys (and wouldnt develop lungs) so made the decision to be induced, and Indy was still born 10 weeks ago. The pm found it to be random which was about the only +ve thing I guess, hoping that it wouldnt happen again. Overall, I've been ok, but feel like I carry this 'sadness' with me all the time, and feel like I've changed quite a bit really.

my 6 week follow up was both about pm results and also 'seeing if im mad', he even said 'are you staring at the ceiling half the night'? (couldnt help but snigger when he asked 'are you losing too much weight?' At 80kg, err no!)

mrsb sounds good re the email, you defo did the best thing, and you took the high road, well done :D Also sounds grand about the deep chat with your mum, me and mine arent that close (well obv. if she is in northants!) but emotionally. in fact she made quite a lot of this about her to be honest!

anyway, fire and wine are zonking me out! 'waves' to everyone i havent mentioned.
have fab wknds
xxxx

You lot appear to all be cat owning teachers!

Daughter is blessedly asleep, she is so clingy still, it's really hard work.

Cinnamon I really hope you don?t need 9 anti thrush treatments. I?m waiting to get that next after all these antibs. Love the sound of your stacking ring. (i.e. I WANT ONE!) I know exactly what you mean about wanting someone to get a positive. If it was one of my friends telling me they were pregnant I?d be jealous and resentful but if (when) it?s one of us I?d be genuinely delighted. (I know, I?m a terrible person!)

I too laughed at the ?Are you going mad?? questions as I?ve been asked three times now: ?Are you thinking about harming yourself? at which point I?m tempted to reply that if I was, I needn?t bother as fate is harming me quite comprehensively at the moment as it is!

misty hope you?re in a better mood. when I have proper data I?ll make sure you and mrsbigz see my charts (i.e. I?ll fork out the 20 notes once we?re into June and I?ve got some money coming in.) About your appointment, I personally would go on my own as, when it comes down to it, we?ve all been through a lot worse. I too have fears re. translocation but I just think if I can cope with all this so far, I can cope with hearing that. My husband has missed loads of work and may not be able to come with me either. I would prefer him to be there but not if it?s going to cause further stress at work. Anyway, I?m tentatively crossing my fingers for you for the other thing!

mrsbigz I?ve been opk-ing at midday so I think I?ll switch to 5pm from tomorrow. I?ve had that too where I went to the toilet to get a sample for the test and there it was.

myangelava I hope you got through the 16 week anniversary ok. You are brave buying a test ? I hope you need it. Fingers crossed for you too! (Your GP app experience sounds appalling. At least mine know what?s gone on)

So 24 hours after I started the 2nd antibiotics I have no pain and no bleeding. I hope to God this is the end of it and it was only carrying on because of the infection. I am sort of tempted to get the valium as I?m finding I wake at 2am (staring at the ceiling), my mind racing and I can?t get back to sleep for a couple of hours. A small dose of valium would help that rather than a full on sleeping tablet. Seeing as I?m not ttc at the moment it might be ok. I?ll ask the GP next week. I?ve got my counsellor appointment a week today too.

Saw a friend this morning, I?m seeing another this afternoon and yet another is coming round for a glass of wine this evening. All people I haven?t seen yet and I didn?t cry this morning at all!

Oh yes and my story is that I am 38, have one daughter who?s 20 months and lost my second baby at 22 weeks (3 weeks ago) after terminating due to a severe heart problem and suspected chromosomal disorder, still to be confirmed.

Hope you all have a relaxing Friday night. xxx

i don't own any cats and i'm not a teacher :(

am a pet-free (though not by choice) newly appointed project manager. what am i managing.....well i'm still finding that out at the moment!! LOL

Ha ha! You ladies do make me laugh! Teachers and cats ....

For the record i wasn't a teacher. Not brave enough! For 8 years i was a Special Needs TA tho'. Helping particular children through the school day. Sometimes physical, sometimes behavioural, sometimes with learning difficulties. I left, however, partly because of the stress of the general standard of behaviour. (not of the special needs children - they were lovely!) So interesting you bought that up cremegg. Also - while i'm on about it - i fell pg 5 weeks after leaving. (after trying for 10 months) So ladies .... food for thought there ..... stress = not good ..... so chill! lol.

egglet - so glad your feeling better. Maybe try a herbal remedy for relaxing at night. Theres lots to choose from in the chemists ?? Also i would recomend Badger Balm. I know i live in the countryside, but we don't boil up badgers! lol - its herbal - its easy to buy and a little on the forehead knocks me and the OH out if we cant sleep ...

badger balm???????? well i have certainly heard it all now LOL!! funny you mention it though because sometimes i could really do with something (natural / herbal) to knock me out at night....will have to look around for some and try it!? do you know why it's called badger balm? is it black and white and quite aggressive? or because they're nocturnal (are they?). no, actually that wouldn't make sense at all......am shutting my trap now xx

I'd heard of Tiger Balm for headaches but not Badger Balm. I imagine badgers stink to high heaven, but I'm sure it's just a name rather than actually being made of badger musk or some such horror. (Can you tell I've had a large glass of wine?) Anyway, I'll investigate herbal temazepam and see what's out there.

Not a teacher but do have a cat and we are off to the RSPCA today to look at a new kitten. Very excited.
Intro - I'm 33, ttc since April 2009, mc Nov 09. Lost our baby to T21 in March after a 10mm nuchal scan showed severe hydrops incompatible with life. Had surgical management at Marie Stopes after the NHS failed me. Because of this I don't seem to get any aftercare or appts from fetal med. It was a clomid baby and will be back on the clomid next cycle. We are looking at array cgh IVF for the end of the year if no luck, waiting for the forms from Care Notts.
Stunned, I'm thinking of you today. Hugs.
I think jewellery to remember our angels is a lovely idea. It's our anniversary soon will see what H wants to do!
Xx

Morning girlies xx Just a quickie -

You can get Badger Balm in Boots or online prob'ly. It comes in a little round tin (like lip gloss) and smells - strong and herby. Love it or hate it - it works!

So sorry about this ladies - but Auntie Flo banged on the door loud and clear last night. But it was good while it lasted wasnt it? Couple of days of 'maybe .......' Hey Ho - foul mood this morning and a stinker of a headache. But its day 1 again and i must welcome in the new cycle and stay upbeat.

Stunned - how are you love? Hope everything went as well as it could yesterday xxxxx

Have a good one everyone.

misty gah, but nevermind, day 1 of a new one as you say. I'll look for the balm in Boots, I need something as I'm sick of waking in the night and not being able to get back off.

stunned hope you're ok and are at home.

Misty sorry af arrived.
Eggletina, Nytol herbal worked for me when sleep was bad for a month or so after our loss.
Have a good weekend ladies
Xx

misty sorry for af, but you gave us all that +ve feeling of hope :D and when you say it like that (being day 1) its sounds like it comes around to the next cycle to have a go nice and quickly (I was always think of day 8 onwards is the time to have a go!) Loving your positivity :)

So agree with you on the stress, so many teacher mates have 'summer hols' pregnancies! it's partly why ive gone back part time, so even though fri and weds are horrendous days with no breaks, i know ive got monday completely off (and do supply on tues/thurs) fingers crossed it keeps me more chilled!

my DH used to use Badger Balm... weirdly both me and his mum gave him a tin for xmas one year (cant help but think of that 'you marry your mother' saying, ahh!) Anyways I think it worked quite well for him and i remember it smelling quite nice :)

treacle did you find a kitty? I found out today my hairdresser is a 'cat person'... sadly most of my haircut talk was about our cats today, so v sad i think! lol!

how were the rest of your friend catch ups eggle? Hope those abs have kicked that UTI out now!

just did a little hike around a river, and saw lots of 'roos bouncing around, all v cool, they stood and stared at us for ages before hopping off, am still v fascinated with them, lol!

have a good sat folks xxx

just a quickie to say stunned hope that yesterday went ok for you hun, we were all thinking of you here. hope they didn't mess you around any more than they had already, and that you got to come home last night. we're all waiting to give you a group hug when you're ready to return to this board (and we'll put the kettle on and get cinnamon baking again!!)

cremegg lol sometimes i forget you live down under, and for a second or two was wondering what on earth those 'roos' were you had seen on your walk (i get it now!!). know what you mean about re: marrying your 'mother' - it's hilarious when i watch my ILs together.....i can completely see my and dh in another 20 years time!!! plus dh is the spitting image of his dad, so i can also see what he's gonna look like when he's that age too....aargh!

misty sorry about AF but on the plus side.....you'll be my cycle buddy again this month! my AF was really heavy and (sorry, TMI, quite clotty) for the past 3 days but this morning, barely anything to show for it at all. i usually O around cd21 so am now willing way the next couple of weeks so i can start peeing on sticks again - don't know why but they give me a strange sense of satisfaction - quite different to peeing on an hpt!

egglet hope that you find the balm of badgers and that it works for you xx might hunt some out for myself (the balm that is, not the badgers!!)

blacktreacle do let us know how you get on the rspca, am v jealous of all you cat owning ladies!!! are you looking for any type / age in particular, or just a cat that needs a new home. oh and the jewellery idea is great - when is your anniversary? ours is coming up too (2nd june)!!

right, must drag my 3.5year old off lego starwars soon - he amazes me how good he is at it but not healthy to spend tooooo long on it. usually he gets to have a play when ds2 naps (also gives me time to catch up on the housework - is that bad??)

anyway, must go and prepare for the pandemonium that will ensue when ds2 wakes up!! speak later ladies and have a lovely saturday xxxxxx

Happy weekend everyone! Had a lovely night out with my old dept friends (not to disappoint, I was a teacher (gave up 2 years ago when had DS) and have 2 cats!) and just catching up with you all.

Egglet- t'was not brave- just silly! Still waiting for AF to arrive (tomorrow or Mon) but I have a complusive testing habit on the day AF inevitably starts and happened to be in Tesco so thought why not?! £3.50 for 2 by the way- that's got to be the cheapest?! Glad you're feeling a bit better xx

mrsbigz & misty (sorry about AF- but I did enjoy the little bit of hope too! I can't wait for a BFP on this thread.... I need a bit of positivity!!) My cycle should start Mon and I ov day 14/15 ish so have time to catch you up! Also, mrsbigz I use tv as a brilliant babysitter for 2 year old DS- as long as it's not for too long I thinks it's ok!! You'd never get anything done otherwise! (I'm still washing from hols by the way, boo!)

cremegg, glad everything's going well, Roos sound lovely! I too see CD 8 as the start of things! I use the clearblue fertility monitor which requires peeing on sticks from day 9 for 10 days with 2 lines (oestrogen & LH) to interpret and obsess over (you're supposed to leave it all to the machine though, but I love it!! :) )

Anyway, best go- Have an afternoon of Man City (hopefully, please God- or I'll have some miserable boys on my hands!!) winning the FA Cup ahead of me!!

Hello to everyone I've forgotten to mention and obviously thinking of stunned xx

Hello all!

Nothing to say, just big hugs to everyone and - yay!! - I'm the last one on the thread!!

Who'll start the new one?

xxxxxxxxx

Big hugs to all on this thread. xxx