Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate VI

[Coffeeandchocolate]

Time for a new thread, ladies. May it continue to give us comfort, and help us find a special, sunny place in our hearts, where our babies are safely tucked in. May it bring good luck to everyone who posts or justs reads.

And to the old-timers, it?s so lovely to still have you here with us, reaching out.

Cinnamondog Thanks for the reply......It strange how it can all just come back out the blue isn't it! But it's nice to be able to post and have some-one on your side xxx

I too did the whole pregnancy test before my first period......Even though I was expecting a negative it still stung and I've done the same thing again this month...Another negative and another ridiculously heavy period right now (which is prob why I'm feeling extra sensitive and drained).

I've bought some ovulation strips but I'm in two minds whether to use them......I know if I think I've timed my days to the letter I will be stupidly disappointed when the one line appears. It's just so unfair that we are all having to start again from the beginning but I suppose this is where we're at and there's nothing that can change that.

I haven't been keeping very up-to-date and was a bit confused as to where that thread had gone ha ha the read the other thread and figured it out! Well done everyone! Still can't believe how insensitive MNHQ where about the whole thing!

Hugs to everyone....Sorry for the lack of personnels have trouble keeping up!

hi ladies xxx

bluecat i realy feel for you with that awful episode with your DS that mother behaved terribly

I'm appalling at confrontations, hate them, avoid them at all costs - so i'm not going to try to tell you what to do - just take your time. Sleep on it. Could your OH help here? Soooooooo hard dealing with other kids + their parents sometimes. I've got 3 girls and i've been where you are and never dealt with it like i probably should have....

My weekend has been mixed to say the least. Absolutely shit day yesterday. Worst by far. I took a preg. test in the morning - i was/am curious about how long a test will still say positive. Well now i know that mine still does - day 5. sigh. OH was at work and daughters were at friends and i spent the whole afternoon on my bed crying. God the thoughts i had!!!! I thought i was going mental. I thought about leaving home cos my OH would be better with someone else - I thought about downing a bottle of JD to drown it all out - i thought about demanding to be sterilised down at A+E. Jesus!

I just want to be pregnant again "sniff".

Anyway when OH got home he had a big bunch of flowers with him and i burst into tears again. Poor poor man!

My bleedings more or less stopped. I'm lucky there i think. We decidied to start trying last night! Sorry if thats TMI. But i really needed to feel like a woman again and not (just) a mental patient. Today has been better. OH said i needed to get out of the house and we went for a long walk. I laughed alot - cried once. We took the girls for a pizza and i feel alot better. Ready to handle next week.

I'm so sorry this has been so self centred. Had to get it out. I am reading and listening to everyone else - and send out all my love xxxxxxx

Ps: yay - that threads gone - thanks again Natz.

hello! i think there must have been something in the air this weekend - i'm currently sat at my computer with a huge glass of pimms and a very large chunk of blue cheese!!
also have had a wobbly weekend here, went out yesterday to lent lunch (organised by our local church, not that i'm particularly religious, but i like the community aspect of the church iykwim). anyway i avoided the first one a few weeks ago (before we lost Eve) because i knew the charity they were raising money for was downs syndrome, and i thought it a little close to home as at the time we were in the middle of trying to make our decision. anyway, yesterday my cousin persuaded me to go along, and i thought why not. dh works weekends anyway so it was nice to have something to look forward to! got the boys ready and went along (it's a make a donation, eat soup type of thing!). while eating the (very nice) soup i read the leaflet on the table re: what charity they were supporting that week.....turned out it was the genesis trust (never heard of them myself) who research ivf, but also how to pick the best eggs to avoid chromosomal problems. well that was it. i just blubbed (in the middle of the church hall too!). my cousin (one of the few who 'know') came and watched the boys while i escaped outside for a while. bless her, she had no idea what the charity was and felt really bad, not her fault though. the rest of yesterday was just spent in odd, trancelike state, almost as though i was watching someone else get on with the day to day jobs of looking after the boys, and as soon as i got them into bed i crumpled. poor dh, when he got home later on i was a blotchy mess on the sofa....

Misty i've not done the pregnancy test thing (to see how much hcg etc) but i have started taking opks this week...and remember from experience that when i've been pregnant before they will also detect a pregnancy. so nearly 3 weeks on there is no second line showing for me to suggest hcg levels are still high.

like bluecat i was debating whether to use them or not, but my cycles have so got a life of their own and dh and i aren't usually up for marathon ttc missions, so i think in our case i will use them just so i have a clue when i'm ovulating. i think with me that at least if we do get a -ve result at least i'll know that we did hit the fertile window, rather than obsessing if we were a week out!
Bluecat i'm so sorry to hear of your sons experience with that other parent....i too am not a confrontational type of person (especially in the frame of mind i'm in at the moment, so understand you there!!) but that has really boiled my blood. my boys are only 3 and 1 at the moment, and their friend they play with are really my friends with kids the same age!!! i'm dreading that starting school bit as i know kids can be soo cruel, and if they've got a cow of a mum who won't treat them fairly and ensure no one is being left out / picked on / teased etc. don't worry about not being a good mum though, you're a fantastic mum for caring and just knowing that it was wrong!!!

cinnamon i'm so sorry about the -ve hpt. from years of experience i know that feeling so well :( even when you've convinced yourself that there is no way you are pregnant seeing it there before you just stings, and i imagine even more so after a loss like ours. TBH i'm dreading the first time i next use one......because like you i know it's gonna be negative but i SOO want it to be positive - because that's what i should be right now, pregnant. I AM so glad though that i'll be starting my new ttc journey with you ladies....i can't think of a nicer, more caring bunch of ladies that i would rather share this experience with - and if when we all get our bfps, it will be wonderful to have people who truly understand our mixed emotions of pure joy and (i'm sure) complete anxiety!!

i hope that all your weekends end a little happier than you've been feeling - we all deserve it xxx

i'm back to work this week (aaarrggghhh!!) - both looking forward to it and the routine but also scared outta my wits as it's a whole new role / promotion and i've not a clue what i'm supposed to be doing!!! oh well, i'm sure i'll cope.....

speak to you all very soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hey all, hope you're all having a good as can be Monday :)

Sorry for being MIA for a while, I guess going back to work took over a bit! Thankfully its the hols here now, going back was good but I was over it in about a week! lol! Anyway I work for an exam board and had a meeting today, wow, felt so clueless at the beginning (almost said 'I think i should go as I have no idea what this is about'!) but by the end of the meeting I felt slightly less idiotic. Anyone else suffering from lack of confidence in themselves now?! I was never exactly Mrs Confident-and-Secure but defo feeling a knock at the mo!

Hello to MistyO, v sorry to hear about your loss, sending big hugs your way.

MrsBigz, I hope you have a good week back at work (the first bit wasnt as bad as I thought, I just got into that 'end of term' feeling by the end of the second week which didnt do me any favours really)

Bluecat How you doing? Hows your DS? Kids can be SO mean, poor little fella!

I had my follow up apt a week ago, was a mad day. Our cat had wandered off from Thurs eve (never does this!) and didn't wander back in til 530am on Monday morn! Mad! we thought she was a gonna so it was amazing... anyway off the point! Our apt went well, Doc said the micro array test showed no genetic link or other syndromes linked to the agenesis, and would reduce our reoccurence chance back to 1 in 4500 (as it is for everyone) which was fab news (tho as we've said before on here, once you've been that 1, stats are pretty meaningless!!). He even said we could ttc as soon as we wanted to. He mentionned that studies that show back to back pregnancies as being more likely to fail were inaccurate as they don't take into account all of the issues surrounding why some women have lots of back to back pgs (low understanding of contraception etc usually tie in with smoking etc etc, random eh?!) So basically no reason not to crack on. V good news.

Doc was also was really good at asking how we both were, was I sleeping/eating etc, how was bleeding (stopped after 3 weeks and AF from 5 weeks- which lasted 10 days!) He even told us how something similar had happened to him and his DP. V kind man.

So now we are officially ttc. (since thurs!) so I am trying to avoid buying tests... I have 2 left in the house from Nov, eek. Tho in laws arrive from UK this week so that should stop madness, hopefully wont stop ttc tho may be tricky!!

DH is worried about it all going wrong and is a bit up and down, I think he may have wanted to wait longer before ttc, but I think this is related back to 'will a baby take away freedom' (which he worried about last time) rather than just because of what happened. But he is happy to go ahead, just admits to finding it all confusing. How are other DHs doing/think about ttc?

Sorry that became a bit of a me post :s Tho feel better for getting it out, so thank you for putting up with me xx

Cinnamon- I meant to say so sorry for the bfn, big hugs to you :(. I think you are so brave to do one, I am terrified and keep thinking I will just not check for weeks and weeks as dont know how on earth i will handle a bfn. Its always going to be a 'i'm back here again?!?!' moment, we will get thru it tho xxx

Hello girlys

Thank you for the welcome cremegg. xx Interesting question about the DH's. In our case this baby would have been his first (my 4th) and he's very broody. You'd never guess if you met him. Builder - jack the lad. At first i was 'doing it for him' - now we're both just desperate! Sad ay??

cinnamon - right there with you on the test feeling. I re-read your post this morning and it sounds exactly how i will be soon. I'm a bugger for testing too. You know you shouldn't but suddenly you're there doing it. sigh.

bluecat xx i've got the strips too ..... god! Y'know the more i think about it the more these things seem like hinderences than helpers. I'm dreading that first AF. Although i spose it will be a sign everythings back in working order ..? Looking for a positive outlook here. Have you decided what/if you'll say to that mum? I've been thinking about that too ... there's no right way to deal with these things.

mrsbigz - Bless - you were very brave to do that lunch xxx How weird that we were all so down this weekend. You're right - its lovely that we can all be ttc together. I went for a peep at the 'conception' forum yesterday. I had a question about charting - i thought they might be able to help - while there i noticed they have a realy big thread there (like ours) which is called "Feck off with your babydust - this is the doom/gloom hut" or something similar and it really cracked me up. I had been feeling very intense and serious till then.....i didnt read any of it, but i thought - it's good to laugh.

Well - in an hour i'm going .......... back to the hospital. How lovely. Exactly a week (to the hour) since i was in there last. I have explained to mum that i'll take her there, but i cant go in. Not today. Not right past the door to the op.theatre! My 16 year old daughter is going in with her instead. Its a routine bladder scan so she should be fine. I'll bring her home again when she all done. Got up and found we've no hot water this morning btw ..... great. Got to sort a plumber out as well now.......and eldest is moaning that she needs a lift to work .....i feel life returning back to normal.....

I've read the 'Feck off with your baby dust...' thread too, it's hysterical! They've based it in a 1920's style gin joint. The ladies on there are going through the mill with ttc, yet they are all so supportive and fabulous. Lots of crazy ttc stories - one lady stood on her head for 5 minutes each time she had sex! It worked too! So that's one to remember eh?

Welcome back cremegg, thought I'd scared you off with my incessant time questions! Also really glad your time back at work was good, and that is brilliant news about the follow up appointment. I know after our experiences, we'll never be completely reassured, but hopefully some of those horrible, nagging worries won't be quite so bad.

Misty - well done. So glad you spoke to your mum, very brave given the place you are in emotionally and completely the right thing to do. Hope it's not to hard; will be thinking of you and sending 'you can do it ' vibes. And hope the hot water gets sorted soon. We had a similar problem the week before Christmas, and with 3 boys in the house, (4 including DH), there was a danger of it getting really unpleasant/ smelly! Good luck!

Bluecat, never used those strips, but may think about it! I'd say go for it, anything you can do that makes you feel a bit more in control and like you are really trying has got to help? And you'll be upset by a BFN if you use the strips or not, so might as well and increase those chances!

I'm loving my !!!!! today aren't I?

mrsbigz, just want to give you a massive hug. Just when we think we are back on our feet eh? I had yet another wobble yesterday. Really good friend of mine who had her DS at the same time as I had mine, (her's is 3 months older), posted pictures of her annual family holiday on flickr. Went and had a look as I know and love all her family. Up pops a beautiful pic of her older sister.....and she's pregnant. About 5 months. And my friend hasn't told me. I completely understand why, her sister lives in NY so it's not like I'd bump into her, plus she's 2-3 weeks further along than I would have been. But it was such a shock. Plus when my friend and I were pregnant with our first, the NY sister was pregnant with her first too. Feels like they've both managed another baby, (friend has one year old DD) and I can't. Plus NY sister is 2 years older than me. Cried and cried and cried. So stupid. Still, am very happy for her, if horribly jealous.

Re-read consultant letter and they mention discussing pre-natal testing if appropriate? Anyone know what this might be? Little one had a completely herniated stomach which meant the pregnancy would have ended, (and was why we TOP), but with her really high nuchal they said there was a chance of Edward's. No one mentioned it on my bloods and because I had TOP under GA at a BPAS clinic, (being 13 weeks the NHS wouldn't do it under GA), there was no post mortem so wondering what testing they might be talking about. Would it be for dodgy chromosonal stuff? Or is it just a standard thing they put in the letters? Appointment isn't 'till 2nd May by which time period, (still not here) should have been and gone, but I don't want to start trying if testing would help us, AND I WANT TO START TRYING!!!!! Ahem......

Sorry for massive me post, slightly extended by having a chat with my ex (DS's dad, we are scarily good friends and he gets on with my DH like a house on fire. Cried and hugged us both when we lost little one, was a complete star looking after DS). Big hugs to all ladies and hope you get to enjoy some of this sunshine!

xxxx

Back home - and it was ok . Bit jittery on the way in, but i'm fine now.

Thank you cinnamon, i got your vibes.

The pre-natal testing...are they talking about when they test both of you for .... oh god whats it called?? the chromasomal problem where you have ...... NO - i'm out of my depth. Lol.

Right - me and my OH were offered and had a blood test the day of my termination to see if either/both of us had this thing i cant remember properly, but the consultant said it would take 6 weeks for the results to come through, and not to worry, because even if either of us had it it wouldnt mean we would always concieve a baby with problems - it just ment the risk would go up a little bit, and if it was me i should warn my daughters to maybe get checked when they want to start a family. He said it was a very rare thing, but they liked to check.

Someone will come along and say all this properly soon i expect and tell you what it's called xxxx

I too had a bit of a crappy weekend, although it did pick up yesterday afternoon and ended in a hangover this morning- I'm such a lightweight!

First there was the Ariel Colour advert- for all good mums everywhere, which made me actually bawl on the cross trainer at the gym. Then I too took a pregnancy test because I had convinced myself that there was a chance I could be.... and of course it was negative. Like you Cinnamon, I knew deep down but I couldn't stop hoping.

I was trying not to think too much of due dates and try to plan lots of nice things to do in my 'birthday week' seeing as DH is off work and it's such lovely weather! But there really is a niggling thought that I can't get out of my head, that I'm supposed to be having my baby girl this week and it should be me waiting to get out with the pram and DS in the sunshine. And I miss her and all that she would have been.

On a positive the party with the new babies was fine, they are lovely and not that little really and it didn't upset me at all. Aside from the above obviously. Also AF has arrived so we can get going on the next try! I have to admit, I got the Clearblue Fertility Monitor out, which I bought when ttc DS and have been using it to see how regular things seem to be and everything seems back to normal- so it's whether I use it this time round (and all the obsession that inevitably goes with it!) or assume ov is around Day 15 as it seems to be? Have just ordered some more sticks off Amazon anyway. Another spanner in the works is that like cremegg, we are going away with my parents over that time in a house with paper thin walls! Interesting!!!!

Re DH's attitude, he's keen to start trying as there's no real point in waiting- it's been 3 months, but he's told me he's concerned that I'll be disappointed if it's not a girl (I stupidly admitted I'd been hoping for a girl when we found out Ava's sex at 17 weeks). Whole can of worms....!

Glad things ok with your hospital 'visit' today misty and cinnamon, Ava had Edwards- we went for genetic testing as there are a very few people who have chromosomal translocations (have I got that right?) which can up the risk factors. Also, could it be re testing early on in the next pregnancy?

Hope everyone is ok today xxx

Thats it! MyangelAva - chromosonal translocation. Just popped in to make sure someone more sensible had remembered what it was called. Well done xx

Thanks myangelAva, they did mention at the time, and when I spoke to the MW last week that with the next pregnancy they'll be monitoring me early and scanning early too to make sure everything is okay and stop me getting stressed out! Hopefully that's all, don't want anything holding us back.

Still no 'visitor' - and to make it worse have all the symptoms I had in the first few weeks with little one seem to be happening. Cramps, but more 'deep' than period cramps, but also they've gone away for the last 3 days. On/ off feelings like cystitis, wee like lime cordial, (I know - gross! Colour, not smell. Grosser. I'll stop now), really hungry but the smell of cooked chicken last night made me gag, as did going past the meat counter at Waitrose. Waking up every hour on the hour all through the night.

Psychosomatic I know but doing my head in! Another test tomorrow I guess if the nasty red bugger hasn't turned up. Can't believe I actually want my period!

xxx

cinnamon - is there a chance you could have tested a bit early??? Was it Saturday you tested or Sun? Was it a 'posh' test or a cheap one? ( i always use cheap!!) xxx

Wow, thanks misty, I'm not sure I've been called sensible before! :) cinnamon, fingers crossed! I'm kicking myself for buying an expensive test- I've never been pregnant with an expensive test- should've known better!!

Possibly; just really think it's my mind/ body playing tricks on me. First Response; I tested 5 days early with both DS and little one and got a big fat definite YES both times, so guessed it would be the same this time...hmmmm.

Lots of ummm, sorry to mention this, mucus too. Aargh!!!

Is the Ariel Colour one the one with, 'she's the hands, she's the feet, she's the one with no head in photos, but she's always there...blah, blah...'?? Made me cry too. Worst one ever? Occasionally fall over and watch re-runs of 'Come Dine with Me' on DMax, they have an advert for a programme called, 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant' which is a scan of a baby to waving away while Lionel Richie's 'Hello' plays. Only seen it once, nearly had a complete breakdown. What a nghtmare!

Cup of tea time I think xxx

(Though sure you mentioned JD the other day, another fellow bourbon drinker! Have two bottles in the drinks cupboard, if only the kids weren't on Easter hols, darn them!)x

Misty and cinnamon have kindly invited me over here so I thought it'd be rude not to say hello...

I'll introduce myself... I'm Knitter, I have a DS who is 2y 8mo and have been trying to concive #2 for about 20 months now. In that time I've had a (dramatic) ectopic pregnancy, a MMC discovered at 12+6 and then last week we made the difficult decision to terminate at 13+6 as our little boy bean had Down's Syndrome. I'm still having up and down days but one thing that DH and I have agreed on is that we'd like to start TTC again straight away.

I'm still processing the fact that I'm not pregnant any more - I still have teary moments (and hours) but the reality is that I do feel much clearer about things now that the deed is done - the gap between the CVS and the actual termination was 10 days and they were the worst days of my life.

I'm afraid that I haven't read all of this thread to catch-up with you all but will do my best to work out your back-stories... but thank you for inviting me on here and I look forward to getting to know you all better over the coming weeks and months...

Hi Knitter!

You are very welcome xxx

knitter !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome

cinnamon - have a JD and ginger on me, and i'll join you (mentaly) xxxxx

myangel - trust me - everyones more sensible than me , and yeah ... i too have never been pregnant with a posh test! Tesco 2 for about £4 for me these days. Although the earliest i've ever tried is 4 days after AF was due, it was an obvious positive xx

another quickie from me i'm afraid, need to get an early night ahead of my first day back to work tomorrow.....have been getting used to slightly later mornings so am dreading oversleeping!!!

cremegg halloooo!!! wondered where you had been, glad you have a couple of weeks off now. also glad to hear you're another ttc-er!! my dh has actually been surprisingly supportive of us trying again so soon....i guess he (like me) realises that time is not completely on our side age-wise, and also in the past we've had varied success, ds1 was conceived on our 1st cycle trying, but ds2 took over a year (with a mc on the way). since then we had a mc in october and then obviously Eve...i think because we both know we DO want another child still our approach is to try asap. it's great you've had the go-ahead from the medics though, that must certainly put your mind at ease from that point of view!

Knitter it's good to see you over here (although obviously i wish you weren't here due to the nature of the thread) - but i'm glad that you will be another friend to continue this rollercoaster journey with. xxx

Misty glad that today at the hospital went ok, and also glad you were strong with your mum and that your dd took her into the hospital - i too think that would have been too raw to cope with just yet.

cinnamon - ooooh thoughts of testing....could you be too early yet? i'm dreading having to break out the hpts (assuming that i'll ever get my period back) - but i remember what it is like comparing feelings / symptoms each months to previous cycles. have everything crossed that you get the result you want this month xxx

to everyone else - sorry not more personals but i really do need to get to bed (plus i'm hoping to seduce dh tonight.....just practicing obviously!!)

speak to you soon xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi all,

Will make it quick because in a terrible mood and don't want to pee on everyones chips when it's such a nice day.Got another definite BFN, (expected but where is my damn period?!?), then found out another good friend has a brother and sister in law this time pregnant and expecting very soon. Their 3rd child, she's 39. Why should all this bother me? Aargh! Want that JD and ginger now. Is it bad form to drink before 10am?

Why did I have to be the 'one'?

Right, self imposed kick up the arse. Going to have shower and will be happy when I come back, promise.....xxx

Sorry about lack of personals, will catch up with those later too, hope you are all okay xxxx

p.s. Makes it sound like I wish they were the one instead - definitely not the case! I wish no one was the 'one'. xxx

Cinnamon - sympathies, I know getting a BFN is completely depressing. But, just a note on periods, my cycle afterwards was longer, sometimes 34 days where before I had always been 30 days like clockwork. It was very frustrating as every month there was always that 'am I late because...' hope, in addition to it meaning I had to wait longer to try again the next month when I just wanted AF to hurry up. My periods were also diffferent, lighter and just not the same. My 3rd period was much more like normal and I conceived the following month. I think it takes a bit of time for some people for their body to get back to normal and be ready. Hope AF arrives soon so you can look forward. It's great all you ladies on here are TTC together, lots of mutual support.

MyAngelAva - I know this is a tough week for you, hope you get through it ok and find your due date not so bad as anticipated. Thinking of you.

Knitter - sorry to see you here. I have read some of your other thread. Pleaes post here as much as you need, I found it vey helpful in the early days.

Ghislaine - are you still around? I hope so, I know that other thread was stressful and upsetting but I hope you still feel this is still a safe place. If you are reading, thinking of you and wondering how you are.

Flower - you too, know it was 2WW for you, hoping to hear some good news and hope you are ok.

Bluecat, Misty, Cremeegg, MrsBigz - hello!

Hope everyone is feeling a little better after the weekend. I know from my early days how up and down I was, sometimes feeling completely ok and then all of a sudden feeling acute grief and heartbreak. I was feeling really sick on Saturday evening and started thinking of how in my last pregnancy I had no morning sickness at all. Suddenly got really upset thinking my poor little girl didnt make me feel ill at all and yet I had to end her life. And I missed her so acutely and felt the unfairness of it all again. I think I will have moments like that every now and again for my entire life.

Anyway apparently some good weather ahead this week so hopefully it will be a tonic for us all.

Thanks cherry, I'm getting over it, .

Think I'm being a tit to tbh; it would be good to get a proper period before starting, plus with the consultant appointment only 2 weeks away, it'll be good to know if they reckon we need any kind of screening before ttc in earnest, (though I know we will be starting before, no will power).

I'm wondering how it went with the seduction mrsbigz?!? My OH is South African so seduction in our house is no more complex than half an inch of bare ankle and a bra strap, ha ha! (Sweeping generalisation I know but he assures me it's the same for most SA blokes!!). Deary me......

Off into the sun xxx

Hello everyone xxxxx

Just a quickie - wanted to say cinnamon - I will be you exactly in about 3 weeks! We've started trying already, i've started daring to hope already, I've got the sticks already, and in about 3 weeks i'll be desperatly testing and hoping for/dreading AF. And then crashing when its a neg.

I can see it all so clearly! I'm there already with you. Poor you xxxxxxx Big, big, big hugs xxxxxx but you're so not alone. (God i'd love a drink too, but we're T.totaling for a few months ......)

Wow such a busy thread and so much to catch up on!

misty0 and mrsbigzI too hate confrontations and this woman is such a gossip no doubt it will be the talk of the school gates but hey ho I'm going to leave her to get on with it, will just keep to the other side of the playground! I'm not going to rise to it it will only end up with her causing more problems for my son and he is a lot like me and wants me to not say anything so will bide my time....For now! Think I'm going to give these strips a try and I've even downloaded an app for my iPhone which works out my fertile days! Would appear this month they are when we go away with my parents so could be a little tricky!

Glad you were ok on your visit back to the hospital misty0 and I'm sorry to hear you were upset at church mrsbigz lots of hugs xxx

I'm with you on the lack of self-confidence cremegg I can't find the strength to deal with the play-ground gossip at the moment! Also I'm at uni and have exams and essays I should be writing but everything just seems so irrelevant at the moment.....Not now I'm on a baby mission! Concentration is very hard for me too.

cinnamondog those one-liner pregnancy tests get you down don't they! I convinced myself I was having all the signs of pregnancy before my first period after my termination and tested....No joy! Did it again last week before this cycle! I think I need to buy some in bulk because I get obsessed! Perhaps peeing on these ovulation strips might fill the need to keep peeing on strips! When i had my appointment with the consultant he gave me the results from the placenta so perhaps they will decide from those any further tests needed?

welcome KnitterNotTwitter I have followed your other thread and I'm sorry this is where you have ended up....Although no-one wants to end up here the plus side is you are here with a lovely bunch who have and are helping me no end. How are you feeling? Hope you're getting lots of support in R/L too xxxx

Hello to Cherrybug how are you feeling? MyAngelAva hey how you doing? And a big hello to everyone else*

I've had a busy couple of days with my son, we went to a farm yesterday and took Grandma and Granddad out for a ride. Today we went to a nature reserve and the beach. I like to plan lots of things for us both to do as I work weekends so use the school holidays to catch up on extra special quality time! I think if this whole terrible experience has taught me anything it's not to take things for granted and to let the little things in life go......I often log onto facebook and see people's moaning updates and just think really? Is that all you have to worry about? You're so lucky!!

My son's friend has just been told he is having a baby brother or sister and my son said to me that it's not fair everyone is getting babies but us and he already has 5 siblings, bless my son he has wanted to be a big brother since he was 3 (he's nearly 9 now) and really has took this hard :-(