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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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Kiki275 · 09/05/2020 12:45

@Buzz22 we had ours at Birmingham but I think everyone is trained by the Prof. My MW was in awe of him. The team we had there were still fabulous.
I just want to rule out anything cervical as the cause of bleeding. If there is anything dodgy going on up there, then I need to put my son first and get well before TTC again.
Please try not to worry about the biopsy being done in the very early stages, you'd be kicking yourself far more if you hadn't the benefit of the results at a later stage in the pregnancy. Those dreaded 'what if's' will plague us regardless I think xx

Buzz22 · 10/05/2020 09:11

@Kiki275 I think everyone is in awe of the Prof! Did you know he was the one that discovered nucal transluceny is a marker for abnormalities such as downs, Edward's and pataus syndrome? The 12 week scan nucal fold measurement that is practiced all over the world is his finding. Very incredible man!
I think it's a great idea to get everything checked out before TTC. It will certainly put your mind at rest, at least about some things. I wish you all the best with your journey moving forward. I think you are being very sensible taking your time to get well and be with your Son xx Ps. I have been avidly watching 'life and birth' on the bbc which is filmed in Birmingham. Looks like they have fantastic facilities there.

BooMamaBear · 10/05/2020 09:39

I've been watching that too it looks good! - OBEM has my hospital but it was a a while ago so it has better facilities now - they usually show the person giving birth in delivery suite 12 which is the one I had my DD tho it's now got a comfy reclinable chair for DH and a TV!! Xx

Treaclepie19 · 10/05/2020 09:44

I need to get watching these shows again! I've recorded the life and birth one.

Oh ladies. Im so worn out. The hospital last night was hard work and walking past the suite where Jesse was born sleeping really was hard. It brought it all right back.
So thankful this baby seems to be holding on 🤞❤❤❤

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BooMamaBear · 10/05/2020 09:51

Oh hun I'm so sorry that must have been really hard!! Sending hugs!! Xx

Buzz22 · 10/05/2020 09:57

@Treaclepie19 I replied to you on the other thread. I'm so relieved you got to hear babies heartbeat. Did they examine your cervix?
I cant imagine how horrible to have to be near where you lost Jesse. As upsetting as it is, I'm a believer it's good to feel all the emotions. It will never be easy to feel them but it's better than bottling them all up.
I'm just so pleased baby is ok. And sounds like the staff looked after you well. What an exhausting night for you though. Sending you all the love and hugs today 💜 and enjoy that roast dinner!

Treaclepie19 · 10/05/2020 10:03

Thank you ❤
They examined me and said all looked okay, took some swabs from inside to check for infections and things.
They were so good. You're right about the emotions, it needed to come out. I've been trying so hard to just power through but its not that simple is it?
I saw the memory tree and just couldn't hold it in.

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Balajake · 10/05/2020 14:02

@Treaclepie19 so pleased to see you announced on FB. Baby looks beautiful 😍 I’m 8DPO today so getting near that dreaded testing time. Hope I don’t have to wait too long to join you xx

Treaclepie19 · 10/05/2020 15:30

❤ thank you @Balajake. We just thought why not. I really hope you will get a lovely surprise on testing day 💕 x

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Balajake · 10/05/2020 16:11

Thankyou so much @treaclepie19 I feel it might take a few months to get my BFP this time but I’m hopeful it will happen eventually

Kath544 · 13/05/2020 09:25

Hello all - so glad to hear most of you and babies are doing well and sorry to all those who have joined recently.

I have posted on this a few times over the last couple of months (have done slight name change) but to recap I’m 36 and had a termination in mid January (4 months ago today) after my 12 week scan showed a NT of 4.8 and a CVS later the same day confirmed the baby had Downs syndrome. The worst few weeks of my life but we got through it. We already have a healthy two year old and the CVS showed there were no carrier or underlying issues.

I’ve now almost seven weeks pregnant again which I am delighted about as feared it wouldn’t happen again but also struggling with emotionally (I experience quite bad depressive symptoms in early pregnancy alongside hyperemesis) due to increased anxiety etc.

I spoke to a dr yesterday and they have done me an urgent referral to maternity to identity whether a direct referral to fetal medicine at UCLH is best option.

Would you mind if I picked all your brains on what people who are pregnant again have done for testing or screening options? NIPT or harmony? Extra early scans? Opting for CVS again? I’m just confused by it all and don’t know what the best way forward is. We’re in London if that makes a difference.

Thank you all. (And to those who have joined because they have recently lost, I was exactly where you are four months again so there is hope - just praying this works out for us this time).

Treaclepie19 · 13/05/2020 10:07

Hi @kath544 congratulations :)
We decided to just have the normal scans and tests this time because we aren't carriers of the condition and its not one that can be tested for by the NIPT.

(We have had an additional 10 week and 17+5 week scan though to check best they can and discuss our options)

In your position I'd be tempted by the NIPT and combined screenings because they're pretty accurate for downs. I'll keep everything crossed for you Flowers

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Kath544 · 13/05/2020 15:06

Thank you @Treaclepie19 🤞

BooMamaBear · 13/05/2020 17:27

Sorry you're here @Kath544 and congratulations on your new pregnancy xx

Grassisgreener99 · 13/05/2020 18:00

@Treaclepie19 can I ask, did you have genetic testing? And if so, at what stage?
We are still awaiting post-mortem results to see what the cause of the Holoprosencephaly was in our little girl. Just wondered if that was sufficient or whether we will be offered testing after. I’ve convinced myself it will be worst case and be genetic even though I have nothing to base that on. I’m really struggling with the wait if I’m honest.

@Kath544 sorry for your loss and congratulations on the pregnancy!

Treaclepie19 · 13/05/2020 18:03

@Grassisgreener99 we did yeah. We had the blood taken for it when we met with our consultant to discuss the post mortem results and then it came back not long after. It's a really stressful time so be kind to yourself. It's okay to be worried about it after all you've been through Flowers

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Grassisgreener99 · 13/05/2020 18:11

@Treaclepie19 thank you. I’ve become obsessed with googling holoprosencephaly but I know I won’t find the answers as it’s so individual. It’s confusing as we have a 1 in 12 risk of DS at the NHS screening then less than 1 in a million when we had the NIPT. Clearly the NHS screening picked up something 🤷🏼‍♀️ We have a healthy 2 year old, I’m just so confused and in shock. We want another baby as soon as we can if the results don’t show as being genetic.
Reassuring to know if we have the genetic counselling it won’t take too long!

Treaclepie19 · 13/05/2020 18:15

@Grassisgreener99 it sounds like a similar situation to us.
The nhs screening gave us a 1 in 2 or 3 risk I believe of the major 3. Then then NIPT came back low risk. We had an amnio in the end. We also have a healthy 4yo so that's whats keeping me going this time. I wanted to avoid an amnio this time if we didn't seem to need it.

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Grassisgreener99 · 13/05/2020 18:26

@Treaclepie19 how strange. I feel like it was telling us something but as the NIPT come back so low, we were happy with those odds as I really didn’t want any intrusive testing. Obviously the post-mortem could come back as one of the 3 but from what I’ve read holoprosencephaly is so rare with DS that it’s unlikely to be that.
I’m trying to hold on the fact that we have a healthy son and if it is genetic then we are so lucky that he was the good 1 in 2 odds but the wait is killing me. They’ve said they will hopefully contact us in June to offer an appointment for the results but it’s so long. We had our daughter 15th March, seems so long to not have closure 💔

Thank you so much, there’s so little info about holoprosencephaly out there and couldn’t seem to find anyone who had a similar (possible genetic condition) without it being something that could be tested for. I don’t think even a CVS picks up holoprosencephaly? Could be wrong.

Treaclepie19 · 13/05/2020 19:13

@Grassisgreener99 I'm not sure lovely. Our little boy had deletions of chromosome two so not even named.
Its really rare thought because he only survived at all because of it being mosaic. If all his cells had been affected he wouldn't have grown at all.

I hope your appointment comes round quickly Flowers

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Grassisgreener99 · 13/05/2020 19:17

@Treaclepie19 thank you. It helps to talk. I’m so sorry we’ve all had to go through this.

Hoping we will all have happy endings 💕

Treaclepie19 · 13/05/2020 19:19

@Grassisgreener99 always feel free to message me. I'm a talker, its how I process things. I even have a blog for our little boy on Facebook just to share things. ❤

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BooMamaBear · 13/05/2020 23:19

My genetic condition had 1in 2 odds (it is tested for by CVS tho) first time was fine next twice not ok so 2 TFMRs then this 4th time CVS was clear. My 2nd pregnancy baby had DS as well as genetic condition!
Just anxious about my 20wxscsb now in Tuesday just hope everything is ok!
Understand nurseries are likely to open same time as primary school I'm in a bit of a dilemma coz having the genetic condition I have and bring pregnant I'm in the at risk group and if my DD gets the virus I more than likely will too as my DH is still working full time but I don't want her to miss pre-school just before she starts school and she misses it and her friends!What are you planning to fo f DD o @Treaclepie19 with your DD? Xx

Treaclepie19 · 14/05/2020 07:22

@BooMamaBear I'm not sending him back yet. Not really even because of the virus but because with the rules they've got in place I don't feel he would cope with it. He'd be miserable in a different room with a different teacher, less of his friends, less toys and no soft furnishings. I just can't see the positives with it at the moment. The only thing I'm sad about is he will miss the transition to reception if we don't send him x

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NoCallerID · 14/05/2020 10:03

Oh guys, I never get notifications that there are new comments on this post....

But I might be officially joining the TTC team now, I'm not sure.

After our TMFR on 28.02. I've had to have tissue removed almost 4 weeks ago and it seems I'm ovulating today (positive OPK yesterday and I'm certain I've felt it this morning...). I didn't tell husband about the OPK as to not add pressure, I'm not even sure we're ready.... we ddt last night anyway, now I'm not sure how I feel about it. It would be a shock if I was to fall pregnant straight away (although we were lucky to conceive both pregnancies first try) but my head is all over the place as I want to be pregnant again so desperately but am terrified of it happening again. I know the chances are slim but reading that people has more than one T21 diagnosis is shattering.

My sister is a midwife in a different country and with both pregnancies I was lucky to have early scans off the record and even further along at the hospital she works at. She showed one of the doctors who scanned me in my first pregnancy our 12 weeks scan photo where they first discovered the Omphalocele and she's recently asked how it all turned out. When my sister told her she said we did the right thing with the combination of T21 and physical abnormalities and that was good to hear. I just can't shake it off and I know any future pregnancy will be the most anxious time...