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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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BooMamaBear · 14/05/2020 10:58

@NoCallerID -I've been pregnant twice do since I had a baby with T21 and both have been unaffected by that ( I have CVS so I know for definite they didn't have it) I'm not sure if it's same for everyone but I was told that after having a baby with T21 my chances I'm having another was about 1% so 1 in a 100 but that could be because I was almost 33 now I'm 35 so my age could have been a factor in that percentage! Xx

NoCallerID · 14/05/2020 11:17

@BooMamaBear that's good to hear, thank you. I'm 33 too (and was with my T21 pregnancy). I guess it is what it is, I can't do anything to prevent it from happening again. There is a chance it could, but it's slim. Thanks for reminding me. 😊 I just need to keep telling myself that we're lucky it wasn't anything genetic...

Kath544 · 14/05/2020 12:23

@NoCallerID this is exact same position I am in. I am just waiting to hear back from my doctors regarding next steps as I will be seven weeks tomorrow.

NoCallerID · 14/05/2020 13:09

@Kath544 my screening midwife told me to ring her once I'm pregnant again and she'll book me in for an early scan. I do wonder if they can give any indication on HCG with the first set of bloods taken at the booking appointment at around 8-9 weeks...? We'll definitely have a harmony test again. If that comes back low risk then we won't do the CVS (unless there are other issues) as I found it quite painful... it's a lot of money which isn't covered by our trust but we can't not do it for that reason.

BooMamaBear · 14/05/2020 13:28

We get CVS free coz I have to have it for a genetic condition which has 1 in 2 odds of baby being incompatible with life they test for the 3 trisomy conditions as well!! I have a dating scan around 7-9 weeks so they can make sure I have CVS at 11 weeks-the odds are on your side -we've beat our 1in 2 odds twice out of 4 also! Xx

BooMamaBear · 16/05/2020 23:36

Hi ladies how are we all doing? I'm terrified about my 20w scan on Tuesday!! X

Lyrarose · 17/05/2020 07:12

Hi everyone,

I’m new here and just wondered if I could post for advice from anyone who may be in the same position.

Two years ago I lost my baby boy at 20 weeks. We had the devastating decision to terminate the pregnancy because there were multiple fetal anomalies that meant he would not survive outside of the womb. It absolutely crushed me and it’s taken me two years to build the confidence and courage to try to conceive again.

I was just wondering if anyone has successfully conceived following a similar experience and what their experience was? I wondered if you’d had this, would you get perhaps earlier checks/appointments to see if there were issues? And also just how you coped with the anxiety and the worry that everything was ok.

Thanks so much for your help in advance. X

ShootingStar2020 · 17/05/2020 08:17

Morning ladies

Sorry for the silence on my part - it’s been a full on week! Hello @Lyrarose - you have taken a positive first step by joining us. We are all here to help. So sorry to hear about your loss but so pleased you are looking ahead.

I can share my most recent story to hopefully provide reassurance. I didn’t think it would be me writing this but I got my Harmony results back on Friday and it was all low risk. In fact - 1 in 10,000! Given that I am 40 (41 next weekend), I was surprised to hear the results reflected those of a 15 year old girl!! We are by no means out of the woods but it is a huge hurdle. If you can beat the pain we will all get there in the end. I am so grateful as my mil was also released from ICU this week after 5 weeks on a ventilator due to COVID. She is a Fighter for sure and was thrilled when we told her our news.

8-9 months ago I would not have believed this but this forum gave me hope. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Lyrarose · 17/05/2020 08:29

Hi @ShootingStar2020,

Thank you so much for your reply and kind words. Firstly, I’m so pleased your mil is on the mend and has beaten off the virus. Fantastic news - May she continue to grow stronger each day.

Thanks for sharing your story. It does help my realise that one day things could be ‘normal’ in terms of pregnancy. Whatever that may be. I’m really trying not to get myself too carried away with getting my hopes up.

Good luck to you all. Xx

BooMamaBear · 17/05/2020 10:01

Sorry your find yourself here but welcome @Lyrarose!
I'm 19 weeks pregnant in my 4th pregnancy following the loss of two boys to TFMRs we found out at 13 weeks both times through CVS that the baby had a chromosomal abnormality-our odds are one in two each time we get pregnant of the baby having this abnormality!
We beat those odds this time so it can be done most odds are less then 50% chance we also had 1 in 100 chance of Down Syndrome too as one of the boys had this too but this baby is unaffected!
@ShootingStar2020 -so glad you MIL is on the mend and you could tell her your good news I bet that made her feel a whole lot better too!
I'm now just terrified about my scan on Tuesday! Xx

Lyrarose · 17/05/2020 10:50

Thank you @BooMamaBear, that’s really positive to hear and congratulations! Wishing you lots of luck on Tuesday. I can only imagine how nerve wracking it will be. You’ll be in my thoughts.

I’ll keep you updated on my journey. I’m so pleased I have now found this particular thread because I have often felt alone with the TFMR issue specifically. I feel better already. Xx

BooMamaBear · 17/05/2020 10:54

Thanks -I know what you mean there loads of threads about miscarriage but hardly any about TFMR! Xx

ShootingStar2020 · 17/05/2020 22:14

@BooMamaBear - hang in there. Not long to wait now until Tuesday. You have been so amazingly strong and it will all be worth it. Xxxx 😘

BooMamaBear · 17/05/2020 22:46

Thanks @ShootingStar2020! Xx

NoCallerID · 18/05/2020 07:42

That's amazing news @ShootingStar2020!

@BooMamaBear I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

@Lyrarose welcome 👋🏻

Treaclepie19 · 18/05/2020 08:10

Welcome @Lyrarose!

So glad to hear your news @ShootingStar2020!

Will be thinking of you @BooMamaBear.

I'm 19+5 now. 2 weeks until my second attempt at an anomaly scan. Feels like ages. It's my 30th birthday tomorrow though!

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BooMamaBear · 18/05/2020 11:15

Thanks and Happy birthday for tomorrow @Treaclepie19 and thanks @NoCallerID xx

Kath544 · 18/05/2020 21:01

@ShootingStar2020 what amazing news on both counts. Must be such a relief. Hope your mil continues her recovery and is home before too long. Quick q - did you get your harmony through nhs or did you arrange privately?

@Lyrarose hello, sorry you find yourself here. I am just 7.5 weeks pregnant (but predictably sick as a dog already) after TFMR due to DS in Jan. I was sort of the opposite - I felt if I didn’t try again soon I would never have the courage. I’m fearful now but trying to keep calm. In some ways I feel nothing could be as bad as jan so that’s helping me cope. I hope to god I don’t have to go through it again but I do know I could cope.

@Treaclepie19 happy almost birthday and @BooMamaBear sending you so much luck for your scan.

Lyrarose · 18/05/2020 22:32

@Kath544, thank you for your warm wishes and for sharing your story. Keeping everything crossed for you - and hope that sickness stays calm for now! I had counselling through fetal medicine unit after my loss and she said the same as you, that if it happens again it probably won’t feel as bad as the first time. That we learn coping strategies and so on. So what you’re saying makes lots of sense.

@BooMamaBear, good luck for your scan tomorrow!

Xx

BooMamaBear · 19/05/2020 01:09

Thanks ladies pretty nervous!! Xx

Treaclepie19 · 19/05/2020 06:31

Thanks for the birthday wishes 😊

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NoCallerID · 19/05/2020 06:47

@treaclepie19 HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🥳

@BooMamaBear thinking of you today. Hope all goes well.

BooMamaBear · 19/05/2020 08:36

I know I said it yesterday but Happy Birthday @Treaclepie19 xx

Lyrarose · 19/05/2020 08:43

@Treaclepie19 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Xx

BooMamaBear · 19/05/2020 15:40

So all was ok everting normal (I was so nervous) they're going to scan me again at 26 weeks just coz of my history they said I'd get a 3D pic then too! Xx

Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6