Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

[Treaclepie19]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

Did you get Amnio? That would be able to tell you for certain? Xx

@BooMamaBear no we didn't. With everything looking positive we decided not to x

The only other thing I can think is that a private scan maybe able to tell you? Xx

@BooMamaBear it's fine honestly, thanks for listening. I'm just having a bad day. It's not too long to wait and the real worry is over whether baby is okay. Won't be too long now x

That's what we're all here for hun we all have bad days!! Xx

@Treaclepie19 I think it's normal to have heightened anxiety during this time...and with all the disappointment we've had in the past, we cling on to little victories like having a successful scan. A lot of women who haven't had a loss before won't know what it's like to go for a scan half expecting the worst. Also, finding out the gender is such a huge milestone and I can fully understand your disappointment of not finding out yet! I'd be gutted too, so it's not silly at all.

I have my scan tomorrow and I think I've been kidding myself because today I mentioned it and just broke down sobbing because I'm so nervous. I didn't get this far in my pregnancy last time and I can't help but feel like my happiness will be snatched away again, because I've dared to think we might actually bring this baby home.

PAL is absolutely no joke!

@otterbaby thank you, it's really hard isn't it 😔

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping all is well ❤ Try and remember the odds are on your side. Hard as that is.
Gosh I wish we could all just see the future and know it will be okay 😩

Fingers crossed all goes well for you tomorrow @otterbaby like @Treaclepie19 says the odds are on your side!! Xx

Thinking of you today @otterbaby

I had a terrible nights sleep.
Couldn't settle because I kept having flashbacks to Jesse's birth.
Im still so worked up about having g had to seevthat consultant the other day. The same one who did the amnio, gave us bad news and stopped Jesse's heart.
I want to see a different one but the hospital say I can't.

Hello ladies. I have been sent this way by the October babies thread. I recognise a few names from there. I had no idea this thread existed. I haven't had a chance to read through yet but I'm very sorry for all your losses. What a terrible thing to go through and not one that many people understand unless it has happened to them too.
Just looking for a place where I can speak about my baby boy and not feel like I'm bringing the mood down.
I at least hope my story will bring some reassurance to those of you who have recently lost your precious babies. I remember reading lots of threads when we went through our TFMR looking for some type of hope for the future.
I hope this is the right place for me as although I had a TFMR it always sounds different to when I read about others as it was not an abnormality which caused our loss. If there is another thread another suited I'm sorry and please send me on my way. I will tell my story, although I know some of you will have heard it a few times from October babies thread. Feel free to skip.

We lost our baby boy William last November the 16th. I was 22 week pregnant when they induced labour. I had a difficult pregnancy and bled heavily throughout. I was at the maternity assessment unit every other day from 16 weeks where they would listen to the heartbeat and check my cervix and tell me everything seemed fine and some people bleed during pregnancy and it's nothing to worry about. At 19 week a consultant obstetrician decided to send me for a scan which was the first time we were told I had low amniotic fluid levels (oligohydroaminos) I was sent straight to see a fetal medicine consultant who thought the levels were low but acceptable. I was told to wait till my 20 week scan the following week and see what they said as they could not test me for leaking fluid as it would be contaminated with blood. At my 20 week scan the sonographer said she was unable to take any measurements or check anything as there was little amniotic fluid and she couldn't see. I was taken to the dreaded side room where a midwife said I would be sent to the fetal medicine research centre at kings college hospital in London. We travelled to london the following week and I was scanned by 2 doctors. At this scan I was able to tell the level of fluid around our baby had reduced even further. He was curled in a tiny tight ball in what little fluid remained. They advised us that our baby wouldnt have fully developed lungs as I was leaking fluid at the crucial time for lung development and babies need fluid to practice breathing. If he was born living he would suffocate shortly after birth. I was also told that I would definitely at some point go into labour it was a question of when not if. Their main concern was that I would definitely contract an infection due to the barrier between the fluid and myself being broken. The most worrying being sepsis. I was already on 5 antibiotics a day as soon as they had suspected PPROM (pre-term premature rupture of membranes). They told us not many things will cause maternal death in first world countries but this could. My temperature was to be taken every 4 hours.
I was induced a few days later at 22 weeks. I had 16 hours of labour and our baby boy was born sleeping. It was confirmed I had and infection...chorioamnionitis. post mortem showed our baby had underdeveloped lungs for gestation and pneumonia. He also had limb deformities due to the lack of space to move. No exact cause was given for my PPROM. It may have been infection or possibly the constant bleeding had irritated the membranes and caused a rupture. All the issues with William were secondary to anyhydroaminos (no amniotic fluid).
The hardest thing for us was watching my 2 best friends give birth to their beautiful babies the week after my due date. Although very happy for them, march this year was especially hard for us.
There was great comfort in the fact we very quickly got pregnant again. I had 1 period between our TFMR in November and conceiving.
We are due at the beginning of October and things seem to be going so much smoother this time. However I am getting increasingly nervous for our 20 week scan in 2 weeks time. We are being very well looked after this pregnancy despite covid-19. I have been regularly seeing or speaking to the consultant and I am having cervical length scans to monitor for signs of premature labour.
I hope that some of you who are recently going through this or are trying to conceive will see there is some light at the end of the tunnel. I dont think I will fully relax until there is a healthy baby in my arms.
Sending all the love and hugs to you all and sorry for the ridiculously long message xxx

@Treaclepie19 -The consultant that I had when I lost my two little boys who gave me the bad news twice is my consultant this time -I know it must be difficult but it doesn't mean it will be bad news this time too! I was starting to think like this before coz I had a different consultant with DD so before this time I'd only had bad news from my consultant xx

welcome to this thee RE ad @Buzz22 -I'm so sorry for your loss and tho I knew it wasn't due to abnormalities but thought this thread would still suit you and everyone here is super supportive we've all been through TFMRs for different reasons! What date is your 20w scan? Have you had bleeding this time? Xx

Meant Thread nor Re ad

@BooMamaBear thank you for recommending it! My 20 week scan is on the 22nd. Feeling anxious about that and I sadly lost my father last May on the 25th so it's going to be a stressful and sad few days for me. I also have a cervical length scan next Friday.
I did have a private scan last Saturday where everything looked well, but cant shake the feeling that anytime my waters could go and theres nothing anyone can do about it. Worried about being high risk for premature labour and potentially a very premature baby.
I had some bleeding at around 8 weeks. I had a scan and no cause found for it. Last time I bled very heavily with huge clots so this time seemed very minor in comparison. Still a worry though. Luckily none since!

@Treaclepie19 I'm also seeing the same consultant this time as last time. I wasnt keen even though she is lovely, it just felt like a bad omen as silly as that sounds.
I keep being told by the midwives she is the best of the best at the hospital and I couldn't be in better hands. She was very sympathetic at my last cervical scan and went out of her way to do ridiculous things like open a fresh lube as I was so paranoid about infection, even though it obviously makes no difference. So I'm feeling slightly more relaxed about my next cervical scan with her.

Welcome @Buzz22 😊

My problem with the consultant is he's so abrupt and unapproachable. The other one who has looked after us at various times is much more friendly and reassuring. Still, I'll deal with it. I've managed worse.

@Buzz22 -I thought my my consultant was a bad omen but this time my baby didn't have the awful genetic condition the two previous ones had-is PPROM likely to reoccur? Xx

Hi all, home and all looks good! We have to go back in a week because baby was not cooperating and we couldn't get a good view of the blood vessels in her heart, but could see all 4 chambers which is a good sign. Feeling much more relaxed now.

@Buzz22 just read your story, I'm so sorry for your loss. Hopefully you can find a bit of extra support within this group as well ❤️

Lovely news @otterbaby!! 😁

Great news @otterbaby xx

@otterbaby Hello! Glad to hear you had some great news at your scan today!

@BooMamaBear yes there is an increased risk. Early PPROM risk (before 27 weeks) rises from 0.6% to 9-10% and pre term birth risk increases to around 35%. I know 9-10% doesn't sound like a lot but 0.6% wasnt a lot last time!
Basically if you have early babies you are quite likely to have subsequent early babies.
It's hard to say when they dont know the exact cause. Risk could be higher or lower. For example if you have PPROM due to an incompetent cervix it's almost certain to happen again but they can do more to prevent it such as a cervical stitch.
All they can do is monitor what's going on down there. If your waters break after 22ish weeks they can give you steroids shots to help the babies lungs develop and magnesium to improve brain development before labour. It's all a question of timing. They like to give you the shots a few days before they think labour is imminent or they induce you not too soon. Unfortunately my PPROM last time was so early that those weren't an option.

Funny isnt it. I'm not a superstitious person but it really does feel like a bad omen it could all happen again.

@otterbaby - really pleased to hear that. Great news ❤️❤️❤️

@Buzz22 - hello and welcome. Your post was so moving. I am so glad that you are pregnant again. It’s so tough but we will soon have our rainbows in our arms. 😘😘

11+4 here. Waiting for Harmony. Had booking bloods etc this week. The nurse who did my blood pressure said she remembered me from my TMFR. She said she would say a little pray for me and this baby. I wept after that appointment but it weirdly felt so nice that she remembered.

Have a great long weekend xxxx

It's nice when the staff remember you -when I called fetal medicine for my scan they knew my voice straight away and while I was waiting for the scan all the doctors and nurses that passed me knew me by name I don't remember all of them all of them but they remembered me!
I have been there for 4 separate pregnancies in 4 years and coz I have a dating scan then CVS I see them twice before 12 weeks!! They all know my history too!! I was there in Jul 19 prior to this pregnancy!! Xx

@Buzz22 thank you for sharing your story. Mine is similar to yours and it's reassuring to read one that wasn't through genetic anomalies.
My twin boys had twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome and Twin 1 was the donor. He had normal fluid levels to begin with but very little by 21 weeks. My waters broke during laser surgery to try and halt the TTTS. I couldn't bear the thought of him being born early and suffocating. I should have miscarried but didn't, so opted for tfmr and said goodbye to them both at 22+1. I also had several bleeds during pregnancy and no real explanation why. We hope to TTC in the next few months, I would like a smear first to eliminate that as a potential cause.

Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy x

So sorry for your losses @Kiki275 and sorry that you find yourself here but we're all here to support you if you need us xx

@Kiki275 I'm so so sorry for the loss of your two boys. It's a heartbreaking decision for anyone to make. I read quite a lot about TTTS during my last pregnancy. We were referred to Kings college london fetal medicine research centre which is where Professor Kypros Nicolaides works performing fetal surgery and is an expert in TTTS. I obsessively read everything about the centre before we had our appointment.
I also didn't miscarry like was expected which is why they induced labour once the signs of infection were noticed.
I had an abnormal smear test that required treatment (CIN2) during my last pregnancy. Well I had the smear then the results came back but I found out I was pregnant. They said it was fine to wait 6 months after baby was born to do the treatment. In January, a few months after my TFMR I saw the gynecologist again and he decided to take another biopsy to see if the cells still required treatment. As it turned out I was unknowingly a few weeks pregnant again so shouldn't have had the biopsy. Luckily it caused no problems. The results came back saying the abnormal cells had changed to a CIN1 so didn't require treatment, just a follow up smear in 1 year. They said that hormonal changes in pregnancy can often improve the cell abnormalties and treatment isnt needed anymore. I found it interesting you mentioned that as I did wonder if my bleeding had anything to do with my smear test results but everyone kept telling me ot was unrelated.
I really didn't expect to fall pregnant so quickly after TFMR. I felt awful knowing I had a biopsy taken when a few days later I had a positive test.