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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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Balajake · 26/04/2020 09:04

@BooMamaBear with my last baby I was told I’d be induced at 37 weeks because I’m diabetic but my waters went at 31 weeks so after 12 days I got infection and had emergency C section. I was absolutely gutted to miss out on a vaginal birth. I’ve had 3 VB and 1 CS and I’d take vaginal every time. Yeah it freakin hurts but I just hope if I get pregnant again I can get that experience once more

BooMamaBear · 26/04/2020 15:38

I think if they can they'll let me have a VB like they did first time, they just need to have a B plan in case and emergency CS is required coz I can't have a GA!! I'll be seeing my consultant on 19th May so I'll talk it through with her id like to avoid an induction if I can! Xxx

BooMamaBear · 28/04/2020 11:36

4 months down 5 to go so still a long way off but does anyone else feel more nervous about labour this time then the first time? I do coz I think ignorance was bliss!! Xx

Treaclepie19 · 28/04/2020 14:56

@BooMamaBear I'm not nervous so far. I was last time but then considering labour with a TFMR was it's hard going physically and emotionally I feel like I can do anything. We all can ❤

I am nervous about if gas and air is still off the table by then because that got me through.

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BooMamaBear · 28/04/2020 15:17

Gas and air didn't seem to work for me!! I'm freaking out but I know I should be ok I've been through two TFMRs and had to have blood transfusions and surgery after both -hopefully the same won't be required after labour it wasn't with DD bit I dunno!! My labour last time all went well (tho I had retained product) and I can't image it all going as well this time -my TFMRs were after DD! Xx

Treaclepie19 · 28/04/2020 15:20

That's probably what it is, the trauma of what you've been through isn't to be underestimated ❤

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BooMamaBear · 28/04/2020 16:03

Thanks @Treaclepie19 - I think it's m also know what is to come! Xx

ShootingStar2020 · 02/05/2020 07:45

Morning ladies

Hope everyone is doing ok. @BooMamaBear and @Treaclepie19 - after everything you have survived you will ace giving birth again. It’s so lovely that you are thinking ahead to that (albeit nervously!) as a positive focus. If it is any consolation, my second took about 2 hours and I had the gas and air to get me through. The adrenaline kept me going as it was so quick! I was 10 days overdue too!

Update from me is that I had a scan and harmony test yesterday. Scan was good. Felt really emotional. Just have to wait now - could be up to 14 days due to COVID. My mother in law is still on a ventilator but making some positive progress after having a tracheotomy so just hoping things continue to move in the right direction. It’s my 41st birthday on 23 May (gulp!!) so hoping to have a few things to feel happy about.

Have a great weekend xxxx

Treaclepie19 · 02/05/2020 07:50

Thank you @ShootingStar2020. Im so glad things are looking good with baby and glad your mother in law is making progress. Must be such a hard time.

My 30th birthday is 19th May Smile It'll be a strange one this year. Also got my scan on Monday!

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welshmercury · 02/05/2020 14:17

Hi everyone. My beautiful angel boy was born on 27/4. I’m broken.

TMI but I’ve just done my first 💩 since Monday and think it would have gone better with some gas and air.

I’m so sad and desperate to TTC ASAP. Hubby will want to wait until things are more settled down below. I’m 41 and had irregular periods before this and we weren’t even trying so am nervous about this next phase.

I miss my pregnancy and baby so much. I was 18+6 and it was T21 and he wasn’t growing properly.

When can you start trying again?

otterbaby · 02/05/2020 14:45

I'm so sorry @welshmercury, it's a pain like no other. It's still so fresh for you but all I can advise is to take it day by day - some days will be worse than others, but eventually you will start to have good days again.

We waited a full two months to conceive again - I wanted to have two full cycles before we tried. I also wanted to give myself plenty of mental healing time, I was worried if I got pregnant too soon after, I might struggle with feelings of guilt. We were lucky to get pregnant again within a few weeks.

Sending you a hug x

Kiki275 · 02/05/2020 17:04

@welshmercury I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My MW suggested waiting 2 or 3 periods before trying again. For me I've no idea when this will actually end up being as 6 weeks later I still have some lochia bleeding.
Your husband will be looking at it from a completely different and more practical point of view. My own DH would be happy never trying again as he doesn't want to risk seeing me going through it again. Ultimately, it's entirely up you but please be kind to yourself and allow mental & physical healing. x

lostlove · 02/05/2020 17:28

So sorry for the loss of your boy Flowers

As everyone on this thread knows, it’s a very particular sort of broken one feels from this experience, and it can be hard for those who haven’t been through it to understand. Please talk more here if it helps.

My understanding about trying again is that it’s best to wait for one proper period - this is so when you become pregnant again there is a ‘last period’ from which to date the pregnancy and know if the embryo growth is as it should be.

Grassisgreener99 · 02/05/2020 18:28

@welshmercury so sorry for the loss of your little boy. It’s utterly heartbreaking and im still in disbelief it’s happened to be honest.

I’m 7 weeks on and I’m still bleeding, even after what was clearly a period last week. Then had a 4 day break and now bleeding again. The doctor saw me yesterday for an internal with swabs and bloods taken just to check it’s all as it should be. Good sign was my cervix were closed. Just feel like it’s never ending and my body is just a constant reminder of what I’ve lost.

We should have our post-mortem results in June and I am preying the Holoprosencephaly isn’t hereditary so we can start trying in July/ August (hoping I’ve stopped bleeding by then). The wait is killing me though.

But please be kind to yourself- let yourself grieve, be sad, angry or whatever you need to be. It’s such a shock and traumatic thing we have been through. I was 21+3 and assumed it would all be ok as I was half way through but our little girl was just too precious for this world.

Sending lots of love to you all 😘

Treaclepie19 · 02/05/2020 20:35

I'm so sorry @welshmercury and @Grassisgreener99

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BooMamaBear · 02/05/2020 22:41

@ShootingStar2020 -thanks I'm glad things seem to be going on the right direction for you!!

@Treaclepie19 -my SILs birthday is the same day as yours and also the date of my 20w scan!!

@welshmercury -I am so sorry it is totally heartbreaking -time does help -it's personal preference as to when you feel ready to try again -after my 2 TFMRs both times we waited until after the due dates had passed as I didn't feel ready until that was over!! Xxx

NoCallerID · 03/05/2020 06:38

I am so sorry to see some new names on here...
@welshmercury I had been reading your posts and had wondered how you were...

My TMFR is just over 2 months ago, T21 and Omphalocele. And I thought I was dealing well. I had to have a MVA a couple of weeks back to remove placenta tissue and have finally stopped bleeding. Thought I'd be all back to normal and occupy myself with focusing on TTC again (I can't but get obsessed over it...) and then suddenly on Friday I was completely overwhelmed by the loss of our little boy that I went to bed at 9pm, put Beth Porch on repeat and just cried and sobbed like I hadn't done since before he was born. It's a long long process and it definitely comes in waves.
I've started taking the prescribed 5mg folic acid, the prenatal vitamins and Agnus castus to help my hormones level. I've started temping again and also ordered more OPKs.
I'm not sure if we're fully back to TTC yet, I think husband wants to wait a bit...

Anyway, long story short - do what feels right for you. I was desperate to start trying again and the closer I am, the more anxious I am of things going wrong again.

BooMamaBear · 03/05/2020 13:13

I'm so sorry @Grassisgreener99 xx

BooMamaBear · 05/05/2020 21:59

Totes not complaining but this baby is quiet all day then as soon as I lay down to rest or go to bed it's like she breakdancing apparently you can only feel the hard kicks at this stage so she must be kicking pretty hard sometimes she just moving around tho too!! Xx

Treaclepie19 · 06/05/2020 09:05

Lovely to feel baby @BooMamaBear Smile

I'm struggling. Not sure where to turn to be honest.
My anxiety is through the roof and everyday it's something new. Today I'm worrying that I shouldn't have had my whooping cough jab while on antibiotics.
Tomorrow it'll be something else I'm sure.

I just want my next scan now so I can move on and take the positive approach like we've decided. I really thought after the one Monday I'd be OK but with them not being able to see everything I'm still unsure. I want to know the sex too to tell our 4yo.

Sorry for the big whinge. I'm really not in a good place this morning. Not helped by the massive red lump on my arm from my whooping cough jab and massive headache 😩

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BooMamaBear · 06/05/2020 10:34

Oh @Treaclepie19 - matryoshka abs stay positive I know things seem worse when your more hormonal tho! Just remember that everything so far has looked promising -if you're concerned about your jab and antibiotics maybe call your GP - don't know bout your area but ours are just doing telephone consultations and they're not very busy so they call back pretty quick! Xx

BooMamaBear · 06/05/2020 10:34

Meant to say try and stay positive!

Treaclepie19 · 06/05/2020 10:44

Thanks @BooMamaBear Smile
I messaged my midwife who reassured me.
I think I'm just a bit anxious and down today. It's so minor in the scheme of things but I really wanted to know the sex so we could agree on a name and buy some things I wanted to make.
I'm just being silly.

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BooMamaBear · 06/05/2020 10:54

You could still get some gender neutral stuff? You wouldn't need it all to be pink or blue. When is your next scan? Xx

Treaclepie19 · 06/05/2020 11:30

Its not really clothes and stuff, I just wanted to get crafting while I have the time. I want to know which letter I need for their name initial on the door and stuff like that. Its not important, just when I'm already emotional its getting to me.

Next scan is 1st June x

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