to not want to make DHs sandwiches

[ReneRusso]

DH works in an out of town office complex where it is apparently difficult to get himself some lunch, so he takes sandwiches to work. He is in a right grump tonight because he is fed up of "always having to make my own sandwich" and also fed up that there isn't any cheese. Apparently I should be a better wife and make his lunch and keep the fridge stocked with cheese. To give a bit of context, I am a SAHM, haven't worked for 3 years, we have 3 DCs, two school age and one baby of 11 weeks. I always cook the evening meal, infact two evening meals, one for the DCs earlier on and then our dinner later on, so for the rest of the evening I quite like to sit on my arse and watch telly. If he wants to have sandwiches for lunch, then my personal opinion is he can make them himself. AIBU?

so don't make them then

I don't see a problem here

No YANBU, he is more than capable of making them himself! For the last few years, I have been doing a uni degree but was only at uni a few days a week. When I first started, DH decided that only being at uni 2/3 days a week meant I was a SAHM and had all the time in the world to keep the house spotless, cook all the meals etc.

I dunno, I think if I wasn't working I'd be ok to stick a slice of ham between two bits of bread & wrap it in clingfilm. It's a two minute job if that.

I don't make dh's lunches but if he was working long hours and I was home all day I wouldn't have a problem doing that little thing for him.

NO! but try and keep the cheese stocked will save the headache next time. What's wrong with jam, peanut butter, marmite??

I was so sick of my dh searching every morning for work shirts / trousers etc. So I bought more than a week's supply so he now has enough ready to avoid this daily annoyance!

(I will confess that I have someone do the ironing! otherwise that would bring on the conflict)

Of course YANBU. In fact, I think you should tell him from now on you are going to eat with the DCs so he can make his sandwiches at the same time as cooking his own dinner.

or even give the toilet rim a wipe with 'em

no, that would be evil

tell him to 'get to fuck'. Perhaps he would like to do your job for a few weeks......?

I like that idea hocus.
thing is, I think he just generally thinks I'm a lazy bitch. It's possibly true, I haven't ironed his shirts for years, I get them done.

Make the sandwiches.

But cut them into pwetty shapes for him. (stars, hearts, letters spelling out 'I wubs yoo')

Though this is only good if he eats them in front of other people.

So. Make sandwiches. Use increasingly bizarre and revolting fillings including cheese. (cheese and sardines, cheese and marmalade, cheese,tinned peas and Nutella,)

Or just tell the lazy blighter to make his own.

how about cheese and Harpic

I agree that your DH is capable of making his own sandwhiches, But you could make them occansionly and also I would keep the fridge stocked with cheese.

Cut them into teeny squares with crusts off. Add a sippy cup and a bag of organix crisps. He won't ask again

Make sure there is always cheese in the fridge.

But no bread.(not for him anyway)

Does he work at weekends? If not why isn't he in Tesco on a Saturday stocking up on the cheese? Actually they are open 24/7 so he could stop and do the weekly shop after work one night. Worth mentioning?

Ok I'm going to make them. And make him regret he ever asked. Will buy cheese and sardines tomorrow.

Make his sandwiches and accidentally spill half a large tub of salt onto them

That Boursin garlic cheese is often popular in stuffy open-plan offices, as are sardines. Enjoy.

Oh, and lime pickle.

YABU - making a simple sandwich is hardly a big deal!

i would do it if i thought i was going to get appreciated for doing a nice thing -not becuase i am thought of as a lazy bitch with fuck all better to do.

li think this is where the communication is reaking down. you need a conversation detailing that you feel underappreciated and undervalued. whilst you haven't any objections to making a sandwich per se, you can see that it wille something expected of you without the enmotional reward that one expects from doing someone else a favour.

ROFL-cheese and Harpic

YANBU
He thinks what you're doing is easy compared to what he does and he thinks that puts him slightly above you. IF you don't believe me ask him to make your sandwiches before he goes to work...SOme dinasour men think that going to the office all day is a more important contribution than looking after kids. I presume you organize the home, which means he is freed up to concentrate on his work? If you weren't around he'd have to do a hell of a lot more than he does at the moment. LOts of single, working mothers manage to do what he's doing and get the kids and themselves ready in the morning...
It's not a competition about who's doing more; it's just a matter of respect.

I make an extra portion of the evening meal (easy if it is spag bol, lasagne, some pasta dish, chicken paprika etc) and he can has that for lunch.

Dh makes his sandwiches mostly, I will do as cooking if I have the time, but I have a 6yr old & a 2 yr old, so more manageable.

Custardo is spot on as always Making the sandwich isn't the issue, the fact that your DH's attitude stinks is!

Who's job is doing the shopping? If it's your job, and there's never any cheese, then he's got a right to have a bit of a moan. If it's a one off forgetting or if it's a shared job, then he doesn't.

But I do think you need to talk about who does what. My dp worked very long hours when the dcs were little and had a much harder life than I did. And he missed his little children very badly. So if he had wanted a sandwich lunch I would have made it - if only because I would have been "sitting on my arse watching telly" for quite a lot of the day breast feeding and i would have felt it was his turn.

But I asm prepared to voice the heresy that, all other things being equal, being a SAHM is much easier than going out to work.