to not want to make DHs sandwiches

[ReneRusso]

DH works in an out of town office complex where it is apparently difficult to get himself some lunch, so he takes sandwiches to work. He is in a right grump tonight because he is fed up of "always having to make my own sandwich" and also fed up that there isn't any cheese. Apparently I should be a better wife and make his lunch and keep the fridge stocked with cheese. To give a bit of context, I am a SAHM, haven't worked for 3 years, we have 3 DCs, two school age and one baby of 11 weeks. I always cook the evening meal, infact two evening meals, one for the DCs earlier on and then our dinner later on, so for the rest of the evening I quite like to sit on my arse and watch telly. If he wants to have sandwiches for lunch, then my personal opinion is he can make them himself. AIBU?

DH was similar.I think you either need to make sure the fridge is stocked up with sandwich fillings. If there's no cheese, can't he use ham / marmite / jam etc. Or the odd sausage roll / left over pasta from night before etc so he can do himself without complaning.

I occasionally make DH's sandwiches but make sure I cut them into triangles. He finds that quite embarrassing in a meeting. Especially when I put it in one of the children's lunch boxes.
He's had to weather the storm of abuse that came from triangular sandwiches in a peppa pig lunch box during a construction meeting.

Libra I am a lovely wife but I don't see what chicken sandwiches have to do with that.

I think the OP has enough to be getting on with, and deserves a sit down come the evening. Esp with a nearly 12 week lo.

Ha hasn't this attracted such great media attention today! Have to have my say. I was a SATM an made lunch for my hubby every day without fail. I was more than the average duttiful wife and worked very hard to ensure my marriage never became dull. However after a while i soon realised that i had turned into his mother (Nightmare) except in the bedroom! Anyway eventually i realised he was taking me for granted and stoped making his lunches, picking up his smelly socks and plucking his monobrown! Eventually we split up as i realised he wasnt worth all the sacrifices i had made (career, family, sports car etc). Moral of the story let some other silly bitch make his luch!!

Agree the issue is the attitude not the sandwich.

I make my husband’s lunch…..also iron his shirts…..we both work full time in the same demanding job. We both do nice things for each other to make life easier. If there were an attitude problem or the nice things were one-sided, that would stop.

Zombie thread...

YANBU. He can make his own. Maybe get cheese in though.

Being a SAHM is work... work without regular breaks or thanks or promotions...

Yet another thread from 2010!

I think while you are a SAHM you should make his sandwiches. Just to show him you appreciate him supporting you & the children by working. I know how hard you are working btw, SAH is not the easy option.
Not everyone can afford to be a SAHM, you can, because your husband supports you. You two are in this together, and realistically it takes less than 5 minutes to make him a couple of sandwiches. Maybe bargain with him - you make supper every Friday night, and I'll make you 5 lots of sandwiches.

Zombie thread!

'dunno, I think if I wasn't working I'd be ok to stick a slice of ham between two bits of bread & wrap it in clingfilm. It's a two minute job if that.'

@mumblechum but looking after an 11 week baby coupled with school age dcs is a full time job! The husband can make his own!

Tell him you want an easy dinner/takeout once a week as well

Hopefully as the OPs children are at least 18, 16 and 12 by now, this is resolved.

I wish in situations like this MNHQ would just delete the post and not post the deletion message as some people don't realise it's a zombie thread

If you're at home and he's at work, it's probably you doing the shopping?

In that case, you should probably replace the cheese when you stock the fridge. He likes it and had sandwiches for lunch all week.

But with fillings, he can surely make them himself.

OP's DH might have died 12 years ago after eating a cheese & Harpic sarnie.

I dunno, that baby is 12 now you great nana

I'm a stay at home mum and I make my husbands sarnies, at the same time as the kids. I don't mind at all.

Well, on a personal note, I enjoyed rereading my comment from June 2010.

It’s him expecting you to do it that is annoying. If that’s the only thing he’s ever asked you to do as a SAHM, then I think I would willingly do it for him. My husband gets to come home for lunch occasionally and he’ll call me to tell me he’s on his way then I offer to make him lunch. He doesn’t presume or tell me to. He only gets a few minutes once he gets here because of the time it takes to drive from and to work. So I feel that I should make his lunch. I made a slow cooker roast beef for dinner the other night and he made sure to come home for lunch the next day for the leftovers. I was happy to make him the beef sandwiches. But, he often washes dishes, vacuums, cleans bathrooms, etc as a matter of course and never says anything snarky if I’ve left a big mess in the kitchen. I try to treat him the same.

I am a SAHM (with just 1 toddler!) and I make my husband's lunch. However we are very easy come easy go with each other and he doesn't mind if he makes it sometimes - we just help each other out as much as we can.

I don't think I'd appreciate being made to feel like I should do anything and certainly not if it were accompanied by grumpiness.

Why would he drive all the way home to rush lunch down his throat in a couple of minutes just to drive back? And if yo u say its because you miss each other so much and can't last 8 hours without each other I will vomit on your head.

I also loathe making sandwiches for the other half (though to be fair I also hate making my own, it's work stuff impinging on my own time, strangely sandwiches for days out don't upset me as much). What changed my (sad) life was buying some cold meat keepers from Amazon/Lakeland and sticking cold meat, sliced cheese etc in there, sticking a couple of breadbuns and a little lidded pot of butter/mayonnaise in a sandwich box and maybe a bit of fruit in a bag so they can make their own. Small wins, small wins...