to not want to make DHs sandwiches

[ReneRusso]

DH works in an out of town office complex where it is apparently difficult to get himself some lunch, so he takes sandwiches to work. He is in a right grump tonight because he is fed up of "always having to make my own sandwich" and also fed up that there isn't any cheese. Apparently I should be a better wife and make his lunch and keep the fridge stocked with cheese. To give a bit of context, I am a SAHM, haven't worked for 3 years, we have 3 DCs, two school age and one baby of 11 weeks. I always cook the evening meal, infact two evening meals, one for the DCs earlier on and then our dinner later on, so for the rest of the evening I quite like to sit on my arse and watch telly. If he wants to have sandwiches for lunch, then my personal opinion is he can make them himself. AIBU?

I go through phases of wanting to do this shit, being all uberwifemumcareerperson, then I just get sick of it and slack off massively. At which point dh picks up the slack and carries on til I find energy again.

Our marriage has never been 50/50, it's always been 80/20 but it's never the same person doing the 80 part IYSWIM?

YABU. I'm a SAHM with 2 small DS. If it wasn't for my husband doing a stressy job and sharing all he earns I would have to go to work full time.
Anyway, I always make him his sandwiches as a) he works in an office and therefore I don't have to and b) he is diabetic and I worry about him. He is capable of doing it himself but always says thank you.

However, I agree with sunnydelight- Rene- your DH's attitude stinks! Tell him to pick up what he wants in his sandwiches on the way home and you will make them. If you don't want to make them tell him you've too much on these days.

'Tell him to pick up what he wants in his sandwiches on the way home and you will make them. If you don't want to make them tell him you've too much on these days.'

Why should she do it all? She said she doesn't want to. She wants to hang around in the evening. She put in a full day, too, after all.

What difference does it make that she's a SAHM?

If he were single he'd still have to go to work to earn his crust and make his own damn meals, including the evening one she cooks for him.

But all the sudden just because she's the wee wifey she's supposed to do it all for him, too?

I'm starting to channel Xenia, tbh, and at every opportunity tell my girls to have a career and work because I sure as hell wouldn't want them to get the idea that if they stay at home with kids they're someone's skivvy in addition to everything else.

Screw that!

Has he got arms ??? - yes then he can make his own bloody sandwiches

Amen, expat...

I was single, living on my own for many, many years before I got married, and did all that for myself. Ditto my DH. We certainly do nice stuff for each other on a daily basis, but I am not his maid, and I don't really do anything for him that he is capable of doing all by his big boy self.

i dont think its hassle for either of you, it takes 2mins to make them or make a load at the weekends and freeze and take one out each morning - thats what my friend does

If it weren't a hassle for the OP, she probably wouldn't have started a thread about it.

Who has all this room in their freezer? You must all have American-style Sub Zeroes.

i have bene known to make my dh a sandwich at lunchtime when i make my lunch and dc's lunch and then its ready for tomorrow dh lunch iyswim

having a penis is not a disability.

Am picturing poster campaign with folorn-looking naked man staring at an iron in bewilderment.

Tag-line provided by colditz.

Government-sponsored campaign to raise awareness within the male community.

PMSL

ReneRusso...was it your husband who went on the five day stag week and then came back and starting doing the housework, or was that someone else?

A five day stag week?!

FFS.

I've heard it all now.

flisspaps...great name

Nope, not you/your DH - as you were!

AF - Thanks!

Colditz, I was just thinking that - and there it came up on the screen!
I'd make my DP sandwiches ouit of the goodness of my heart if I had time and he wanted them. But he keeps a loaf of bread and a block of cheese in the work fridge and makes his own. Proper order too.

instead of mn gassing you can get online shopping delivered.so adequate fillings etc available

he can make sandwiches,but it wouldnt kill you to do it would it

I look after my children

Grown-ups (and I include DH in that category...most of the time) look after themselves

your dh is brave isn't he? I'd have brained him, frankly, after the sleep de privation of an 11 week old baby and then demanding sandwiches are made.

I always make DH sandwiches as he has a medical condition, eats little and often. So I make them and put loads of little snacks in as well, I don't see it as a problem. 10 mins in morning, It wouldn't kill you.

RR, I think you said something very important before about point-scoring, and then it got lost in a sea of comments about whether it is U or not to expect SAHM's to do extra stuff for their OH's on top of looking after the DCs. If you were to take one thing only from this thread, can I please urge that it is to have a think about how you might move your relationship away from scoring points against each other and towards scoring points for each other and for your relationship? The more you can be on each other's side, the happier you would surely be. And that's worth more than either a sandwich or the moral high ground, at least to me.

it would kill me

I get anaphylaxis when I butter up a knife for anyone other than myself or dependants

10 minutes in the morning wouldn't kill him, either.

right on slhilly!

last time i looked, it's a marriage, not a competition

'scuse 1-handed typing while rocking baby...