to not want to make DHs sandwiches

[ReneRusso]

DH works in an out of town office complex where it is apparently difficult to get himself some lunch, so he takes sandwiches to work. He is in a right grump tonight because he is fed up of "always having to make my own sandwich" and also fed up that there isn't any cheese. Apparently I should be a better wife and make his lunch and keep the fridge stocked with cheese. To give a bit of context, I am a SAHM, haven't worked for 3 years, we have 3 DCs, two school age and one baby of 11 weeks. I always cook the evening meal, infact two evening meals, one for the DCs earlier on and then our dinner later on, so for the rest of the evening I quite like to sit on my arse and watch telly. If he wants to have sandwiches for lunch, then my personal opinion is he can make them himself. AIBU?

Weetabixwhiner, there is no spare 10 minutes in the morning. DH leaves very early and I usually have a baby attached to my boob from about 5am

Slhilly, yeah I know you're right

I love all this "it only takes 2 minutes" EVERYTHING can be done in 2 minutes can't it. So why do adults(men and women) object so much. Because if you add up all the 2 minute jobs it moves into hours and most people including the op, would rather spend their time doing something more interesting than cooking and cleaning.
Tell him that if he wants you to do his sandwiches, he can cook for the kids.

so make during day for following lunchtime

the last 2 posts tell the story, really

14hours is typing one-handed whilst rocking baby

rene has baby attached to boob from 5am

now, you sandwich-making women....tell me who do you think should be making the butties here ????

time to piss about on mn.time to do a buttie

damn you fast typers

I meant the last 2 posts from rene and 14hours

she's probably MNing with the kid attached to her tit.

hardly time to 'do a buttie'.

ffs.

he's got two arms and a brain. he's a grown man.

if you read her posts, she already makes sure she's got plenty of fillers in.

he can make his own fucking sandwich.

i don't have 10 spare minutes in teh morning to devote to a grown person who can look after themselves.

and yep, once again, despite being the only earner for 4 years, it never occurred to me to expect my husband to make my fucking lunch because he was a stay at home parent.

my job: shitty shite phone stuff; his job: shitty shite nappies.

interestingly, no one responded to GetOrf's comment.

how many SAHDs get demands from their wives to make their damn sandwich?

I've got time to piss about on Mumsnet so I've got time to wipe Ds1's arse for him, but I'm not bloody going to. he's old enough to do it himself, and to start doing things for people who are capable of doing it themselves promotes learned helplessness, deteriation of neural functions and eventual loss of self esteem and depression.

she starts making this twonk his fecking sandwiches and i'll bet you London to a brick he starts to complain about what kind they are.

i don't put up with demands or grumbling like that from my 6-year-old.

i'll make damn sure to do my best she learns never to take it off a grown person just because she happens to be shagging them.

Yeah, 'it only takes 2/5/10 minutes'.

Great then, that's how long it takes him to make his own fucking lunch.

I always did mine the night before when DH was a SAHD.

I didn't care for sandwiches mostly, so I'd prepare a tub of leftovers or soup and bread.

Before I was married, I had to : sort of my own lunch!

MY DH complained about the way I ironed his shirt 15 years ago...

He has done his own ironing for the last....ooooo, 15 years

My parents will celebrate their 46th anniversary on Sunday.

'Start as you mean to go on.'

Wise words from my mother.

And from my dad, 'I don't expect her to do anything I wouldn't do myself.'

if you have time to fanny about with mn you have time to make buttie for the dude who pays for your broadband

I pay for my own broadband, sm

Don't try to set off a row

'if you have time to fanny about with mn you have time to make buttie for the dude who pays for your broadband'

Oh, so it's the ol' woman-as-kept/he-earner-you-earn-your-crust-at-home-now-little-skivvy/wifey.

Funny that.

I never once considered my job as 'I'm paying for your broadband, etc.' to my husband. Or threw that in his face as a reason why he should make my fecking lunch.

Because he'd have told me where to shove that.

But then, so would I if he'd done that to me.

I don't make my DH sandwiches and I am sahm he dosen't mind he likes to buy his lunch really - but get this my MIL often makes him sandwiches and my FIL takes them to the jobs my DH is working on - he is a builder so working at different places - this sends me around the twist they might as well just say I am the worst wife ever!!

RR, every so often DP and I summon up the energy and the courage to have a big convo about an Ishoo like this, IKYIM. If it's any consolation, life has always been better for having had the conversation, even when things haven't changed that much.... I can only hope the same would be true for you

here comes SM, making digs about sahm's

what a suprise!!!

lol

have some sauce go go with that massive chip
lol

I pay my own broadband.

I always have.

My tits and my sandwich making skills are not pay per view. I will neither make a sandwich nor put out just because someone is paying for something for me. They can either pay for it or not, as they choose. Their self care tasks will still be done by them whether or not they pay, unless I feel like doing it.

There is nothing like financial obligation to wreck a multiple orgasm.

the dude is only paying for the broadband cos the dudette is looking after his sprogs.

thats got shit all to do with fuck all.

if dh wanted a butty - being a northerner and champion butty maker ( as are we all) i would gladly make it

if he expected that i should make it as part of my duties becuase i have fuck all else to do all day

then im afraid i would make a butty and ram it in his penis hole

PMSL custy!

(tired sigh...) Why do these debates always seem to disintegrate into point scoring masquerading as feminism of the I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar variety?

And the even more done-unto-death SAHM/WOHM debate....

Wouldn't it be more helpful to fill the marital jar with goodwill pennies, as and when you can, depending on who currently has more energy/time? At times, being a SAHM has been more exhausting and generally debilitating than army bootcamp training (this in the words of DB, who is an officer, and saw how much I struggled with colicky DS). I don't think I would have been sandwich-making then... Now, even with an 8 week-old and a three year-old, I feel that I have more energy, and am happy to do more, when I can. And when that energy fades, DH steps up and is fabulous.

And you know what? I get a cup of tea, unasked, every morning in bed - and that's after DH does the 'early shift' with the kids - unasked... And I think that is pretty darn wonderful, and would certainly be worth some sandwich-making on my part.

I think the real issue here is about respect for each other's roles, and the equal value that (though different requirements of time and energy) of working and being at home...

well put 14hrs

I pay for everything in this house and dh makes my sannies