to not want to make DHs sandwiches

[ReneRusso]

DH works in an out of town office complex where it is apparently difficult to get himself some lunch, so he takes sandwiches to work. He is in a right grump tonight because he is fed up of "always having to make my own sandwich" and also fed up that there isn't any cheese. Apparently I should be a better wife and make his lunch and keep the fridge stocked with cheese. To give a bit of context, I am a SAHM, haven't worked for 3 years, we have 3 DCs, two school age and one baby of 11 weeks. I always cook the evening meal, infact two evening meals, one for the DCs earlier on and then our dinner later on, so for the rest of the evening I quite like to sit on my arse and watch telly. If he wants to have sandwiches for lunch, then my personal opinion is he can make them himself. AIBU?

"When I am not working outside the home my job is to run the home, simples"

Not really. I don't want to be a SAHM forever; however if I take on all the housework and running the home just then I really will be stuck in this role forever. My career has taken a hit because of the children and DH's hasn't.

I used my time to keep my hand in my field, brush up on my knowledge etc. The housework is split 50/50 and childcare is split whenever both of us at home. I am at home for the children, not the house or my husband.
When I return to work, which I will be able to do because I am working hard at what I do right now, then I will be able to contribute financially as well.

I don't like the idea that just because someone is at home, then they are automatically the skivvy who loses their identity to serve their man, kids and home.

I happily make DH some breakfast or whatever if it's a sunny day and I'm in the mood. BUt it is NOT expected.

"I pay for everything in this house and dh makes my sannies "

I think that's a terrible way to think, sorry.

it's not a way to think. I am just describing what goes on in our house. I really appreciate getting my sandwiches made.
DH really appreciates me working to support our family

rene - what do YOU eat for lunch?

can you make double sandwichs then, one for you that day and one for dh the next day?

do you make sandwichs for dc at school or do they have dinners there?

'I pay for everything in this house and dh makes my sannies'

I paid for everything for years.

DH never made my lunch and I never asked because he was doing the job of looking after our children, not maiding for me.

I never once presumed, 'Oh, he made himself a sandwich for lunch, so therefore he had time to make one for me the next day.' WTF?

She doesn't want to make the fucking sandwiches because he expects it and grumbles and complains about it.

So don't!

It's not a crime, RR.

My 6-year-old who has dyspraxia is well on the way to making her own damn sandwich.

My son will be doing the same.

Adults look after themselves and children learn how to do so from their parents.

My husband and I show each other we love each other all the time by respecting each other, not assuming one will play maidie because he/she is at home with the children.

Feminism has FA to do with it, either.

'I pay for everything in this house and dh makes my sannies'

I paid for everything for years.

DH never made my lunch and I never asked because he was doing the job of looking after our children, not maiding for me.

I never once presumed, 'Oh, he made himself a sandwich for lunch, so therefore he had time to make one for me the next day.' WTF?

She doesn't want to make the fucking sandwiches because he expects it and grumbles and complains about it.

So don't!

It's not a crime, RR.

My 6-year-old who has dyspraxia is well on the way to making her own damn sandwich.

My son will be doing the same.

Adults look after themselves and children learn how to do so from their parents.

My husband and I show each other we love each other all the time by respecting each other, not assuming one will play maidie because he/she is at home with the children.

Feminism has FA to do with it, either.

It was my point about the SAHDs , and I'm not surprised it hasn't been answered tbh.

So many people are too firmly entrenched in their views of women's roles.

Particularly those who view SAHMs as free-loaders who should put-up and shut-up.

I find it genuinely sad that some people assess the value of their role purely in financial terms.

It's meaningless.

Have any of you read Hitchihkers Guide? Lots of Golgafrincham thinking here.

(Yes, I am a massive geek).

what is this hitchhikers guide?

i want a new book

Carrie, it's a [http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hitchhikers-Guide-Galaxy-Trilogy-Five/dp/0330508539/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=bo oks&qid=1276857007&sr=1-1 sci-fi comedy classic] which contains much wisdom.

(Not, as you may have implied from my post, a self-help book).

Whoops.

oh thanks i think i might order that today

i am ordering a book for dd today anyway, someone on here reccomended you choose.

i always thought that book was about space!

lol

thats how dim iam!

No blondes. I don't make sandwiches for the DC, they have school dinners. I occasionally make myself a sandwich for lunch but sometimes I eat leftovers or grab something while I'm out and about. And yes I always offer DH the leftovers for his lunch if there are some. When I was working I would not have wanted 1 day old sandwiches for my lunch really. Nor defrosted sandwiches from the freezer thanks.

I work and I don't eat lunch - it's cheaper - he could try that

Make them the night before --- do you think those M&S sarnies everyone loves have been made a few hours ago?? No Way.

Make them when you make the evening meal then stick them in the fridge, then sit down and watch the tele.

No, don't! He is old enough to make his own lunch.

You are currently a SAHM, to your kids. Not to a grown man.

How very dare he. How rude!

Mind you, I tried making DH butties once, but they were rejected on grounds of salad. Alsoe allowed near his work shirts.

IT WORKED! HAHAHAHAHAA!

That should have read "Also, I iron too badly to be allowed near his work shirts." Technology, eh? Tcha.

Yeah, I'm not allowed to iron the work shirts on account of trying and doing a crap job several years ago

Okay, so maybe the same would work with butties. Except that maybe the point is to have the discussion about his attitude, not skirt the issue .

Why can't he do food shopping on the way home from work? S'not that hard to shop alone but tis a bloody nightmare with a tiny baby. Get him to do it online if he doesn't want to go to an actual shop.

Sorry you're having a crap time with him. Are you getting time to enjoy your baby? That's pretty important too, I fink.

I have just made my DH a toasted chicken, tomato and mozzerella sandwich. 2 in fact. I am good wife.

Make them the night before --- do you think those M&S sarnies everyone loves have been made a few hours ago?? No Way.

Make them when you make the evening meal then stick them in the fridge, then sit down and watch the tele.

excalty josie!! tho guess you can argue that her dh can make them the night before

i make dh his sandwichs at times, just as he makes us our evening meal

its about sharing and give and take - and we BOTH work!!

I am a SAHM I don't make dp lunches because we had no choice but for one of us to give up our career I gave up my career for the good of my family. Dp is all big and grown up and makes his own lunch. I work through the day seeing to the kids cleaning and any jobs left in evenings or weekends are shared.

However if I was doing pack lunch for the kids I would probably do him one two, but not if he expected me to. If I am not eating I offer to make food for dp he says no I will do it if you are not hungry.

Dh works very long hours and I am a sahm, so a majority of the time I do prepare his lunch for him, it saves us a lot of money in the long run as by the time he gets home at 9pm after leaving at 5am there isn't much time for him to make them as he needs to eat his dinner, have a bath and get some sleep before the next day. It doesn't make me his mother or anything else, it is just thinking of each other and helping each other out! I tend to try and make them at dinner time so I don't have to worry about them in the evening!

We both work full-time and I make my DH's sandwiches...or fling the leftovers in a plastic container...when i feel like it or remember..he likes the way i make em...I also make them for my DDs and my friend at work.. when i was'nt working I did always make his sandwiches..I offered..it saved us money??..

and if you run out of something text him on the way home and he can pick it up..I do it all the time and vice versa

my dh works, im currently sahm on mat leave.

dh makes own lunch, dd's packed lunch and my lunch before he goes to work.
my dh is fab.