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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect that at 32 I was past all the someone waiting for me at the gates at 3 o clock to batter me....well it would seem not!!

176 replies

ElizabethWakefield · 10/03/2010 13:14

There was an incident at DD's school on Monday, a game went wrong and a boy ended up wrapping a skipping rope around a girl's throat, outcome was the girl got quite badly hurt and it was fairly serious.

Now the story i have heard from DD and the story that has come from the school are very different.

So, today i am sitting in work and i get a phone call from the school, warning me that through some kind of crossed wires the mum of the girl has been informed that my DD was in some way involved in the whole incident, and she is now "on the war path" and will, apparently, be waiting for me at 3 o clock. I mean in what kind of bizarre world is that a normal conversation to have with your child's school!

The mum is not someone you would ever want to be on the wrong side of and apparently there is nothing the school can do!

Really, I am 32...a reasonable person and I don't fight!!

Sigh... might have to ditch my shiney ballet pumps for some steel toe capped boots on the way home!

OP posts:
heQet · 10/03/2010 13:16

Well then the school need to uncross the wires and put her straight, don't they?

southeastastra · 10/03/2010 13:17

the school doesn't sound like they have done much to help! seriously they said she would be waiting? what will you do?

MrsVidic · 10/03/2010 13:18

So the school basically phoned you telling you that this girls mum is probably going to be violent towards you at the school and they say there's nothing you can do?

heQet · 10/03/2010 13:19

Thinking about it, if you seriously fear that she will be violent, call the non emergency police number and ask if they can assist you.

And tell the school you have done that. And tell them that since this has happened because THEY gave her incorrect information, they had better sort it right now or you will hold them equally responsible for anything that might happen!

MrsVidic · 10/03/2010 13:19

sorry 'nothing that THEY can do'

Jamieandhismagictorch · 10/03/2010 13:20

What !? What was the school suggesting you do ?

What southeastastra said, (or they should call the police if threats have been made)

BariatricObama · 10/03/2010 13:20

this is terrible. is the headmaster going to be standing by shouting 'fight fight!'

i would pick dd up early and demand the school sort it

Jamieandhismagictorch · 10/03/2010 13:21

X posts. What HeQet said

northernmonkey · 10/03/2010 13:22

I agree totally with what heQet has sais.
School is totaly responsible for the mix up and should sort it out
Am that this sort of behavior still goes on
Hope you sort things out

Guadalupe · 10/03/2010 13:22

What a peculiar reaction from the school.

Original poster
ElizabethWakefield · 10/03/2010 13:22

Er, yeah that about sums it up! They said there is no point trying to put her straight as she just wont listen to sense now

It is mental isn't it!? I mean in who'e world is this normal!

Luckily, DD is in a school club until 4 today, crazy mum wont know this, as it's not something her child is involved in, so I have until tomorrow to sort it out.

When i go and collect DD today i will have a word with the head and see what can be done. I work in an open plan office and there were visitors in, so it wasn't really the best conversation to be having in public!

Failing that anyone know self defence!!!

OP posts:
Guadalupe · 10/03/2010 13:23

And how odd that she would tell them that she would be waiting for you.

Surely they should put her right, or is she so scary even the school tremor in her wake?

traceybath · 10/03/2010 13:23

Yeap what heqet said - she is very wise.

Nightmare situation for you and DD though although did lol at your shiney ballet shoes

Jamieandhismagictorch · 10/03/2010 13:24

Joking aside - do you know this woman ? Is she likely to be violent, or "just" mouthy. Either way - bizarre ...

thesunshinesbrightly · 10/03/2010 13:26

How ridulous!!

ChickensHaveSinisterMotives · 10/03/2010 13:27

I would keep my phone in my hand, poised to call the police if she becomes violent. Am that the school would call you at work to tell you that another parent is going to be waiting for you!

StewieGriffinsMom · 10/03/2010 13:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ElizabethWakefield · 10/03/2010 13:28

Yes the school are scared of her, hence the problem and the warning i think.

No, she will be more than just mouthy, unfortunately, mouthy I could deal with!

I will speak to the head when i go in at 4, but it was the head who phoned me, so i don't expect much help! Waaaaaah!!!

The thing is, surely her DD knows who was involved, so I don't know why she isn't saying DD wasn't involved.

Just to mention, DDs involvement was that she was skipping with the rope, before the boy took the rope from her to strangle the girl with, so she was hardly involved, just in the area, but this has become, goodness knows how, that dd was as involved as the boy!?

OP posts:
groundhogs · 10/03/2010 13:28

FGS, just because this is a school, doesn't mean, surely, that the teachers allow themselves to get dragged into such infantile behaviour?

If they have a reason to suspect a parent is at risk from another parent's temper whatever, then the first thing they do, I would have thought, is contact the said warpath parent and set her straight.

secondly, they ought to tell same warpath parent that IF she comes to the gates all guns blazing, that the school will have no alternative than to ask her to leave the vicinity and that the police will be called if she doesn't comply.

When are schools going to stand up to this ridiculous entitlement of enraged child/parent etc. some tough talking needs to happen at both parent and child levels. I'm fed up with this society not speaking out against aggression, bullying etc for fear of upsetting the perpetrator. The balance of rights seems seriously out of kilter at the moment.

NO WAY should this matter ever come up on your radar OP, it should be nipped in the bud before it even gets to that.

All that said, I'm having a horrific time with my scumlandlady and could do with a bit of a ruck... can I come along and --hold your coat kick some warpath arse?

Ulrikakaka · 10/03/2010 13:29

Violence is obviously not cool, but pehaps you have misunderstood what the school said to you?
The woman might just want to talk to you?

How old is DD? Could it be that he is not telling the truth?

heQet · 10/03/2010 13:29

If they truly feel she won't hear them if they speak to her, they should write to her. Today. Apologising for their mistake and stating clearly that your daughter was in no way involved.

Sounds to me they are trying to avoid being held accountable for their gigantic cock-up!

I don't actually blame that woman for being furious if her child was half strangled! I'd be spitting feathers. I think that threatening violence is unacceptable, but tbh, it would take me a while to calm down after that had happened to my child! So I shan't demonise the woman at all.

However, the school should not have given your child's name and having done so, should take responsibility for that and sort it out! Including having the head outside the school at 3pm if they can't get her on the phone! Head should set her straight.

And like I say, call the police, have their support.

FabIsDoingPrettyWell · 10/03/2010 13:29

Get your DH or a big burly bloke to go with you but definitely speak to the head about how badly this has been handled.

compo · 10/03/2010 13:30

They can get a community policeman to patrol the gates
they do that for illegally parked parents but not for a battering aggressive parent?

groundhogs · 10/03/2010 13:30

Elizabeth, call the police for guidance yourself, explain the situation and make sure there is a patrol car somewhere in the general vicinity.

The headmaster may have no balls, but the police will have.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 10/03/2010 13:32

Exactly groundhogs. How would the school cope if the OPs daughter WAS involved ?